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Living Next Door to Heaven #10: What Were They Thinking?

Heaven’s Gate

53 Brian’s Army

I had my own little army. I decided they needed to learn something besides what I had to say to Hannah at four-thirty in the morning. As soon as Céleste started showing up at the breakfast counter at four-thirty, so did Sarah and James. Leslie and Eleanor stopped each morning to walk with Sarah and Matthew ran to Casa del Agua to get James. It was late May and the kids simply came to the house in their pajamas.

“Honey, I think our children should learn how to bake bread,” I said, continuing to talk to Hannah, even though she was upstairs fast asleep. “I love having them at the counter in the morning. My! All eight of them. I think I’ll wait to give them hot chocolate until they’ve kneaded the bread. I’ll just tear off a piece big enough for each of them to have their own loaf and flour the countertop. I know it will be a little messy to clean up, but they are big kids now. They should know that bread dough is sticky. They will have to put flour on their hands so they can work the dough until it is smooth. Then they can pull the dough off their fingers with a little flour off the countertop.” As I talked, just as I normally do to Hannah without actually addressing the children, I showed them by example how to knead the dough and flour their fingers.

I saw Dani approaching, ready to go to the café. When she saw all the kids working on bread, she turned and went back upstairs. A minute later, she returned, followed by Hannah. Dani came into the kitchen and gave me a kiss, then got a very white kiss from Xan. She left with flour on her cheeks and nose. Without saying anything, Hannah slipped up behind the children and helped the littlest ones get the dough smooth.

“Did I tell you about the strange question I was asked before the show last night? Rebecca wanted to know if she would be laid off for the summer. She assumed that because we weren’t shooting live all summer, she would simply not be needed. That threw me. She’s my personal assistant, but I’ve only really used her to manage my schedule for the show. She often mentions that she doesn’t have much to do. It’s a little more when I’m doing a week on the road, but I’m thinking I should really take advantage of having a personal assistant more. She’s doing a good job and I don’t want to just let her go because we aren’t taping.”

I finished kneading the huge batch of bread that I was making and found Hannah had prepared eight little bowls, greasing the inside for the kids’ bread to rise. We helped them all get their little ball of dough into the bowl and cleaned up the counter.

“Remember when you and I discovered cleaning the kitchen was part of cooking? Mom made it very clear the first time we baked cookies that we couldn’t leave the kitchen a mess in her house. Well, it was an important thing to learn. We all live together and we try to make sure we don’t leave a mess for others to clean up. The kids sure do a good job.” We covered the bowls and finished cleaning the kitchen. I gave the kids each a cup of hot chocolate and Hannah came into the kitchen to hug me.

“I think they are all doing a wonderful job of being children,” I continued as I looked into her eyes. “You must be very proud to be La Madrina for this crew. And I love being their Papa. When they finish their chocolate, we can all wash our hands and go to the Sacred Space to practice our forms while the dough rises.”

My official end of season was June 26. Elaine’s was the same. No one was surprised when I met her after my last show Friday night and we left town. We only got as far as Fort Wayne before we agreed that exhaustion was too big a risk, so we pulled into a Red Roof Inn on the freeway, got a room, and fell asleep in each other’s arms.

Romantic.

It was considerably more romantic in the morning when we woke up holding each other and, after we’d each run to the bathroom, made slow love on the rather uncomfortable bed. We hardly noticed the bed. Elaine and I had little time together for intimacy. We saw each other every day, but by the time I got home at night, she was usually asleep. She left with Hannah and April at eight in the morning, often while I was still with the kids. We tried to reserve time for each other on the weekends, but she and I weren’t the only ones who had a hard time connecting during the week. We were all young professionals with jobs. We didn’t sit around the house having sex all day.

Damn it.

We opted to bypass the chain restaurant next door to the hotel for breakfast and got on the road. We pulled off the freeway at Perrysburg, Ohio, just shy of Toledo, when we saw a sign that looked like it might be a good local diner. It was, and we ate more food than we needed. Then we were off again and skirted through the Detroit area without much problem since it was a Saturday. We stopped at the Duty Free shop before we crossed the bridge at Port Huron to buy a bottle of Bombay Sapphire Gin and some Vermouth. We also found a nice martini shaker and a pair of glasses. The whole thing set us back a little less than a hundred dollars, so Elaine added several bars of designer chocolate. If we were going to be decadent for a week, we were going to be really decadent.

It was still almost a hundred miles to Stratford, Ontario, and we got in about three-thirty. We hadn’t stopped for more than coffee since breakfast, so we were pretty hungry. When we saw our room at the Bruce Hotel, though, we almost opted to try out the luxurious bed. That was the only word to describe this whole place: luxury. We’d paid enough for the room, but Elaine and I agreed to split the expenses for our weeklong escape and go for the best. We were television stars and could afford to treat ourselves for a week.

Instead of succumbing, we went downtown and found a nice burger place a block from the first theatre we were attending. We were glad we’d taken time to change before we came out. Even in the burger place, people were dressed up to go to the theatre. When we were finished, we walked down the block to the Avon Theatre, relaxed, and laughed ourselves silly through A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum. And that started our week of theatre, food, and sex at every opportunity. We saw Hamlet, The Taming of the Shrew, and Pericles. We saw The Three Sisters and The Importance of Being Earnest. To cap things off, we saw West Side Story. Seven shows in seven days. Which is not to say that we saw a show every day. We had a couple days with no show and a couple days with both a matinee and an evening show.

And the food. Our final Saturday evening, we opted to forgo a show in favor of dinner at The Church. This experience was not to be missed. Elegant setting in an old church that was still lit through stained glass windows. We ate in the choir loft, an intimate space with only four tables for two and our own server. In the late evening, our dinner was lit by a single rose window in the loft. Everything was beautiful, including Elaine. We were the only ones dining in the loft as we’d timed our reservation to coincide with when most other patrons would be leaving for the theatre. It was just the two of us and our quiet conversation of love.

Back at the hotel, after a bottle of wine, an after-dinner drink, a pot of coffee, and a selection of dark chocolates, we sank into the pillow-top bed and made love.

“Thank you so much for this week alone together,” I whispered. “I love you, my cónyuge.”

“Always, Brian. Near or far, I love you.”

I spent the rest of my summer immersed in my children. Not just my children, but all the children on the ranch. It didn’t make any difference who the mother or father happened to be. All the kids called me Papa and as far as I was concerned they were all my children. Lionel, Sugar, and their three kids came for the summer and Sugar was definitely pregnant again. It made no difference to me. Sarah was pregnant with their second as well. I took Leon, Leann, Honey, and Henry with me to the Sacred Space and they worked with the other kids. I had older kids work with younger kids. Matthew, Xan, and C-Rae were becoming quite proficient. I was pleased to see that Lionel’s kids were continuing to progress with Sugar’s encouragement. Even pregnant, she was looking great.

Judy, Sugar, and Hannah often joined me in working with the kids. With fourteen kids and three or four adults, our Sacred Space was getting crowded. When we left, there were activities all over the ranch for the kids, and occasionally I had to do some work in the office, too.

Rebecca had consented to take on more responsibility as my personal assistant and had even made all the arrangements for Elaine’s and my trip to Canada. She’d had a bit of a dispute with Barbara at one point. Barbara was in charge of audience development and getting people in to see the show. As a result of her contacts, she got an increasing number of requests from schools or other organizations asking me to speak. Rebecca hit the roof when she discovered Barbara was scheduling me for school presentations on taping days and had even scheduled two on one day before I had to start the show. I had to mediate and Rose confirmed that all requests to schedule me for personal appearances should be forwarded to Rebecca. When it was all said and done, I think Barbara was relieved. It’s hard to focus on two jobs at once and she had all she could handle with selling tickets to the show.

I was on my way from the office to see Jessica, who was in for a couple of weeks, when I happened on a discussion between Leon and Xan. The discussion was sort of one sided. Leon was talking. Xan was signing.

“Why don’t you speak?” Leon demanded.

Xan signed, “Sacred Space.”

“We aren’t in the Sacred Space now,” Leon persisted. Matthew, C-Rae, and Ellie were nearby, but it looked like they weren’t going to interrupt the conversation. I had a feeling they had already had a similar conversation. I stopped and watched, hoping I wasn’t intruding.

“It’s all Sacred Space,” Xan signed.

“That’s silly. How can you have fun and play if you don’t talk?” Leon asked.

Xan touched her lips and tugged at her ear. “Shh. Listen.” They were all quiet. Xan grinned. “You can’t hear when you are talking. Papa is here.” I was surprised. I didn’t think I was in her line of sight. All the kids turned to look at me. “Hi, Papa,” Xan signed. She ran to me and I picked the little girl up in my arms. Even James and Céleste, who were almost two years younger, were taller than Xan. She hugged me and whispered in my ear. “I’m teaching Leon.” She kissed my cheek and ran back to play with the other children.

Yes, she was teaching me, too.

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