Heaven’s Gate
82 Panic Attack
We celebrated Melanie’s birthday on July twelfth with the news that Sly and Lily had officially adopted her and Stephanie. Both girls loved their new parents and had settled into a stable life in the village, even though Melanie had done two bit-parts in movies and Sly had accompanied her on location as her bodyguard. I think Sly was happy to be where he could actively protect her. When I talked to Sly about what he had done as a profession before he retired, he just said he was a security consultant. Of course, I imagined that he was a mafia enforcer, but he might just as well have sold alarm systems door-to-door. I suppose I’ll never really know. I just remember that when I met him in grade school he scared the shit out of me.
Melanie’s mother had given the girls up for adoption surprisingly easily. The girls’ oldest brother had accompanied their mother on one of her visits this year and had a long talk with Melanie. While I wasn’t privileged to get the details, the adoption papers had been filed soon thereafter.
A week later, Cathy gave birth to Carl’s son, Paul Terrance Fisher. Cathy had changed her last name to Fisher and I suspected they had gotten married, though no one had ever said anything about it. Brenda and Louise were happy. Louise, the youngest of the four, was still the obvious head of the household—or perhaps she was simply a dom and they were all subs. Other than explaining my taxes while I was in a good learning mode, I didn’t have a lot of intimate time with Louise. Brenda, on the other hand, was prone to show up at odd times and flirt until either Rose or I took her to bed. Or both. Oh, those cheerleaders. Even the ones with PhDs.
I spent afternoons in the office throughout the last half of July and all of August. While I was on the Board of Directors, like Armand, the day-to-day operation of HCEN was now firmly in Rose’s control. She’d made some good hires and Armand and I mostly consulted on strategy. A lot of that was focused on how we were going to expand our Internet presence with Courtney. Court hired Sandy full-time to revamp the entire graphic look of the network website. Sandy had really come into her own as a computer graphic artist. We were going to start offering video previews on the site that people could play on their computers. Courtney insisted that one day people would stop having televisions and only watch on their computers. Weird.
I drove out to Lawrence, Kansas in mid-September for a long weekend with Whitney. We didn’t have much time together, but what little time we had was important to us.
“We’ve identified another fifty AWOLs that bear the markings of kidnappings. It looks like they might be related to the Somali pirates. My team is headed to Camp Thunder Dome in the middle of the Indian Ocean so they’ll be ready if we get a go-ahead. I can’t wait to get this training over with! From Thunder Dome, we’ll have air transport to anywhere in the region as soon as we hear of another one. We’re going to nail those bastards and get our people back. Officially, of course, I’m just going to school and may be called upon to consult with local police in their investigations.”
“You are going to take on this whole thing with just a platoon of MPs? Whitney that’s insane.”
“Yes, that would be insane. They’d never let us take a whole platoon as consultants. I’ll only take a squad.” She looked at me and I could see the hardness and determination in her face that I’d seen in the mirror when I took on the tabloids.
“You’ll do it.”
“Whatever is necessary.”
It was a lonely drive back to Indiana.
“Elaine, how do you deal with dating a man in his twenties?” Jessica asked. “Aren’t you just waiting for him to grow up and become more mature?” Jessica was bright and cheerful. It reminded me a little of when she was in her professional mode. Too bright.
“Heaven, I can’t imagine dating an old guy in his thirties. After all, I’m only twenty-nine,” Elaine fed back. It wasn’t her talk show. It was our dinner table and the occasion was my twenty-ninth birthday.
“But you graduated a year before I did and I’m…”
“Twenty-nine and holding, dear. Don’t say that thirty word.”
“Well, personally, I don’t see much difference between twenty-nine and thirty-nine. It’s not like nineteen and nine,” I said.
“I’ve heard that line of reasoning before,” Rose said. “Judy believes that when she reaches thirty, you’ll be the same age from that point on.”
“We’re the same age now,” I huffed. “After we both got out of school, there ceased to be a difference in our ages.”
“I should have learned that lesson years ago,” Jessica said.
The kids were all in bed and we’d moved to the adult part of the celebration. I was sitting naked in my big chair with a glass of Triple Crown in my hand and Dani in my lap. She nibbled on my neck and kissed my ear. Bolts of electricity shot up and down my spine. Every one of my cónyuge had mastered that move.
“If I sit here any longer, that thing is going to poke right up inside me,” she whispered, sending another round of shivers up my spine.
“And the problem with that?”
“It’s time for your special guest to cuddle.”
Dani squirmed a little and I almost did slip up inside her. It was just always so easy for the two of us to join, no matter what position we were in. Things seemed to slip together. She pushed off my lap and motioned to Jessica to take her place.
“Oh, thank you, Danielle. My! Look what you left me in his lap!” She wiggled around a lot getting comfortable which meant that I was wedged between her butt cheeks. Which was comfortable.
“Even after all this time coming to the ranch, I can’t believe I’m just running around naked with you guys. I got so paranoid about it when I was working that I still have trouble with it,” Jessica said. She sounded a little manic and I glanced at Hannah to see if she’d picked it up as well. “It’s like a real trigger for me.”
“You’re doing great. You know we’re just family,” I said. “You could have been more like Pam.”
“That girl’s nipples have been in more magazines than my face,” Jessica sighed. “And not one single paparazzo. Not one offer from Hustler. Nothing.”
“Live free. Live naked,” Sam said. She came over and pushed her round belly toward me. “Baby girl wants to say goodnight, Papa. Mommy’s going to bed.” I kissed her tummy and ran my hands all over her. Sam shivered.
“I’ll come up and put some stretch cream on in a few minutes.”
“Hannah will do it tonight. You can do it in the morning. Just don’t make so much noise you wake us up!” she said winking at Jessica. Jessica blushed.
“Maybe you should take me to bed soon,” Jessica whispered in my ear. She licked around it and my cock jerked between her cheeks. Damn!
“Are you sure you’re ready for this?”
“No. But I need… I’ll never be one if I’m not with them.”
I remember an old song by Meat Loaf that went, ‘I want you, I need you, But there ain’t no way I’m ever gonna love you. Now don’t be sad, ’cause two out of three ain’t bad.’ With Jessica, it was more ‘I love you, I need you, but I really don’t want to.’ Even our slowly-developing time together over the past few years kept something in reserve. She was pushing it tonight. She wanted to make love in the big bedroom with my other lovers around us. She knew the rest of us made love that way. Even with Josh there. Even Renee, Judy, and Pam had all joined us in the big room. It had been that way so long I didn’t see the big deal. It was normal. It was natural.
Of course, I remembered the first time. At least the first time it was obvious. I was spooned behind Rose as she tucked my cock into her vagina and began moving. Around us, sitting on the floor, were the rest of our casa—every one of them with a hand or two in her pussy—watching us and joining with us. It was our affirmation that we were together. We were all one family.
I loved escaping with my lovers. Running off to wherever Whitney was based for a weekend. Taking Elaine to Canada. Traveling with Cassie. Time in the master suite with my Date Night In dates. But really, I just wanted to be with my cónyuge. All of them. I suppose that makes me some kind of a pervert. Maybe that’s what Jessica thought.
We went upstairs and brushed our teeth. Hannah slipped up beside Jessica and gave her a little kiss on the cheek.
“I have to go take care of that demanding little baby,” she giggled. “I don’t know what I’m going to do when she’s on the outside instead of the inside.” She grabbed the anti-stretchmark cream and went to apply it to Samantha’s tummy. I had a feeling that wasn’t all that was going to be applied.
Jennifer nudged me so she could get beside me at the sink and before she stuck her toothbrush in her mouth she leaned over to lick my ear and whisper, “If there’s anything I can do… you know… to help… um… you know.” I knew. I think perhaps Liz, Nikki, and Whitney were the only women in the clan who hadn’t experienced Jennifer’s talented tongue. She glanced toward Jessica and sighed.
I took Jessica’s hand and led her to the bed. Most of the room was a bed. There were low tables scattered around the edges where people put their watches or a glass of water or lube. I saw Liz had cuddled up next to Josh with Mary on his other side. Cassie was smoothing a place in the middle for Jessica and me. Jessica hesitated at the edge of the mattress and looked around.
“I’m sorry. I can’t,” she said. She pulled her hand away from mine and backed toward the door. “Really. I want to. Really, I do. But I can’t. Before I started spending time with you all, Brian was the only person who had ever seen me naked. Now you’ve all seen me. But I can’t. I can’t do this.” She turned and fled from the room.
“I’m sorry, everybody,” I said. “I’ll go make sure she’s okay and then come back. We’re not going to pressure her to change her mind. It’s too deeply ingrained.” I headed toward the stairs.
“Hannah?” Nikki said.
“Yes, Nicolette?”
“We’ve got competition in the crazies.”
“Yeah. But we’re medicated.”
Jessica wasn’t in the master suite where I expected her. She was dressing at the back door.
“Honey…”
“Don’t, Brian. I would make love just with you. Like we did in Paris. I’m even mostly okay when we’re all sitting around naked… most of the time. I made too big a deal out of this being my night to make love and join you. I can’t do it. Sometime maybe it will just happen. Until then, come visit me occasionally at my house, okay?”
“I’ll walk you home.”
“Don’t bother. It’s a beautiful night and I’m safe in the village. Go back and enjoy your birthday with your casa. I think Cassie has a way in mind to help you. Goodnight, Brian. I love you.” She kissed me tenderly and left. I sighed. Our lifestyle was just too strange. But I would never give it up. I loved those women upstairs way too much.
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