Heaven’s Gate
13 A New Era
AND SUDDENLY, it was my last solo show. Mary and all three triplets were with me Friday as I explained that we were transitioning to a new chef next week.
ME: In celebration of where it all began, I present you with the humble tomato. The first demonstration that I did that got me on The Homemakers’ Hour with Miss Polly eight and a half years ago was a demonstration of what to do with tomatoes. At that time, I was truly a young cook at the ripe old age of fourteen. And that was the day that I first met Elaine Frost. [Elaine joins me in kitchen.]
ELAINE: Hello, Chef Brian.
ME: Well, hey, good lookin’!
ELAINE: [Sings] Whatcha got cookin’? [Together.] How about cookin’ something up with me?
ME: I wish I had a better voice to sing that with you. Today, we have tomatoes. We’re going to stuff them, grill them, and fry them. Want to help?
ELAINE: I’d love to.
It was sweet. And good recipes. Elaine and I remembered several of our favorite recipes that had been on the show and we had some pretty nice dishes to show for our work when we finished. We even talked about how the studio had started as our dormitory common room in college with the kitchen set for the only show we did.
We reset the audience and Elaine led me to her set to be her last interviewee.
ELAINE: I know you will be with us all next week as you help Chef Reese take over Young Cooking, but I want to spend some time talking with you for the benefit of our audience. I understand some of them might actually want to keep watching you.
ME: I find that hard to believe, Elaine, but I’m going to try to present something of interest.
ELAINE: Your new show title intrigues me. When I first saw it, I thought it said triple X. Tell me about the title and what the show is about.
ME: Well, you left off one letter. The name of the show is XX/XY. I guess we were playing on the triple X theme a little. But as you know, the female of our species has two X chromosomes and the male has an X and a Y. That is what determines the sex of a baby.
ELAINE: I always heard the father determined the sex of the baby.
ME: Exactly. The man contributes either an X chromosome or a Y chromosome to the Karyotype. Which one he contributes determines the sex of the child.
ELAINE: And men have control over that?
ME: No. I believe that women control the world. In vitro testing has shown that it isn’t simply the first sperm that gets to the egg that fertilizes it. There is some amount of resistance and acceptance that determines which sperm is selected as the one that will create an embryo. We can have all kinds of discussion about whether that is a deterministic act on the part of the egg, or if it is just a random happening.
ELAINE: Your new show is going to be a science show? You did a lot of kitchen chemistry on Young Cooking.
ME: No. It’s a show about young men and young women and how they choose to get along. I’ll have a lot of guests who have interesting perspectives and I’ll start each show with a monologue, like you do.
ELAINE: You’re going to steal my lines again, aren’t you?
ME: There will be a big difference, Elaine. You’re funny. We have yet to see if anyone laughs at my jokes.
ELAINE: XX/XY will premiere on the Celebrity Entertainment Network on Cable on January 30 at nine p.m. Eastern time. You know, Brian, the kitchen here on Chick Chat will always welcome you.
ME: Just remember, girlfriend: No matter what, I still love you. [Kiss.]
Monday morning, Reese donned her new chef’s jacket and hat and walked onto the set of Young Cooking. I no longer wore my jacket, but acted as a show host, asking Reese about what she was doing. She was sharp and fun with snappy comebacks when I gave her an opening. It was going to be a good run. By Friday, I’d all but faded into the background until near the end of our segment when I formally handed over the reins.
ME: You know, Chef Reese, we keep pretty good records here at Hearthstone Entertainment. I got nostalgic during the holidays as I started thinking about how it all started and I watched some of the tapes. Sometime in the future, you’ll look back on your career here and be nostalgic, too.
REES: I hope so, Chef Brian. And I hope you’ll come to visit me on the show often.
ME: Well, why don’t we take a quick look at your first appearance on Young Cooking so it will be fresh in mind as you take over.
The video ran of me reaching around Reese when she was fourteen and helping her flip an omelet.
REES: [Blushing.] I had no idea you had that! Or that anyone would remember.
ME: I guess, just as I started my career at fourteen, so did you. I seem to remember that was your fourteenth birthday and you were here with the Scarlet Tanagers 4-H Foods Club.
REES: Yes. I was so excited.
ME: Now it’s yours, Chef Reese. Good luck.
REES: Just remember, boyfriend: No matter what, we all still love you!
After the show there was a little reception to formally welcome Reese. I took off before it was over so she could bask in the sunshine. It wasn’t my show any longer.
Amber met me as I left the studio. She was usually around in the morning and was Elaine’s Monday guest host each week. Fridays she often worked with Nikki and her writers. Nikki brought two more writers for Elaine onboard last fall and they were turning out some great new edgy material. Amber was eating it up.
“Hi, Brian.”
“Amber! I haven’t had much opportunity to talk to you lately. You are doing such a good job as guest host. I had no idea you were so funny.”
“Yeah. Usually, I’m pretty dull.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Morose, even.”
“I’m sorry.”
“I don’t even laugh much. It’s really not funny.”
“Am-ber!” She stopped to look at me and burst out laughing.
“How are you going to make up for such an insult to me?”
“I never meant it as an insult.”
“I know. Take me dancing at the aluminum room,” she said.
“What?”
“You heard me. Tomorrow’s my twenty-first birthday. I’d like you to take me dancing at White Castle like we did for prom.”
“Don’t you have any better plans for your birthday?”
“No. This was the best I could come up with. Of course, since it is my twenty-first birthday, perhaps you could take me to a nice lounge where we could have a drink and keep dancing.”
“We could do that.”
“And since it is the twenty-first of the month…”
“Oh my goodness! It’s your golden birthday.”
“Yeah. So maybe we could stay at that hotel where the lounge is. It’s the Sheraton, isn’t it?”
“I’ll make reservations.”
“I already did.”
Saturday afternoon, Leonard brought me a new gi. It was a beautiful red silk brocade with white and black trim.
“Try this on,” he said. “I want to make sure it fits properly.” He followed me upstairs to the master suite.
“Uh… Leonard.”
“Trust me, I’m a professional.”
This kid was too much. What the fuck. It was nothing he hadn’t seen before. I stripped and pulled on the pants and jacket. It felt like… Well, like silk.
“I like the pants legs with the elastic at the bottom,” I said. “It looks cool.”
“You’ve got dance shoes?”
“Of course.”
“Put them on. Here.” He handed me a pair of socks that matched the color of the gi. I finished dressing and stood up. “You should let your hair grow another two inches. Right now, it’s kind of half cool. You need it all the way cool.”
“I’ll discuss it with Liz.”
“Don’t worry, I already did. Take off the jacket, I need to make an adjustment. I’ll be back in half an hour,” he said.
“There’s no rush, Leonard. The show doesn’t start for two more weeks.”
“Show? This is for tonight!”
It was what?
When I walked out the back door to go pick up Amber at the dorm, Lamar and Sarah met me. He handed me the keys to his Cadillac, parked in front of the dorm. I looked at him.
“It’s her special night. You can’t drive her in that old Suburban truck. Look at you! You’d tear something,” he laughed. “Nice threads, by the way. I need to talk to Leonard about a set like that.”
“Wait till you see Amber,” Sarah said. “Have fun tonight!” She and Lamar went on up to the big house where they were joining Hannah and Sam for dinner.
“Thank you,” I said.
Amber was quite a sight. Leonard had managed a design along the lines of the gi but… flat out sexy. Also a silk brocade, it was pale blue and went beautifully with my red. It had a plunging neckline and was fitted around her shapely breasts. It was cut away at the shoulders, making it look almost like the sleeves were separate from the jacket. Leonard had provided me with a matching red belt. Amber’s belt was white as was the narrow lapel collar that wrapped her neck. She handed me a matching cape in reverse colors, white with pale blue trim and a red lining that matched my gi.
“You are simply stunning,” I said. “May I have the honor of escorting you this evening?” I offered her my arm and opened the door for her. Once I was certain she was in and belted, I leaned in and placed a light kiss on her cheek, then went to the driver’s side. It took me a little while to figure out how to move the seat forward. It was back so far, I couldn’t reach the steering wheel. Geez. Lamar was only sixteen inches taller than me. Go figure.
Amber and I did, indeed, go to White Castle and danced to their piped-in music while we ate a sack of sliders. Then we went to the Sheraton downtown and let the valet take the car as a bellhop took our two small bags. We checked in and had the bellman take our bags to our room while we went to the lounge. We were seated immediately and a waitress came to the table.
“I’m sorry, but I have to ask to see your ID, please,” she said. We each handed her our driver’s licenses. She looked at them and smiled. “It really is you! I just love watching you on Mondays. I mean, I love Elaine, but I get such a kick out of you. Happy birthday, Amber!” I was in the company of a famous woman, I guess. “What would you like?”
“I’ll have a cosmopolitan, please,” Amber said. The waitress turned to me.
“A shot of Triple Crown Bourbon, straight up in a snifter, please.” I guess Bart had made a convert of me.
“I always wondered what Chef Brian would drink,” she grinned. “Now I can tell all my girlfriends!”
Before the drinks arrived, Amber and I were on the dance floor. I saw a few camera flashes, but if they wanted a picture, let them. Who takes a camera to a lounge? I was here to have fun with a sweet woman.
And we had fun. All night long.
A photo of the two of us ran in the entertainment section on Sunday.
Comments
Please feel free to send comments to the author at devon@devonlayne.com.
