Heaven’s Gate
78 Don’t Worry, Be Happy
I did Date Night In alone that night. We didn’t really have a contingency plan for me taking a night off yet. Rhiannon, whose birthday would be the next week, was in no condition to be my date. I spent most of the day with them, holding the children and assuring them that no matter what, Daddy still loved them. Of course, the sheriff came out to verify that everything was natural and the funeral home sent the hearse to take him for cremation.
All that stuff takes time. Notifying family. Signing certificates. Holding onto each other. Crying. Laughing.
“Did he really say that?”
“My God! I thought he wanted to be profound.”
“He wanted us to laugh.”
C-Rae, Matthew, Ellie, and Xan came into the house to hug us all.
“We went out to tell Aunt Lexi that Daddy was coming. We didn’t know what day to tell her, though. When are we taking Daddy to the River?” Matthew asked.
“Well, we need to wait for all the legal things and the ashes. And Grandma and Grandpa Swift won’t be here until Monday. I’d say probably next Saturday,” I said. “Lots of people will want to come to say goodbye and celebrate Daddy’s life,” I said as I held my children.
“We’ve been going to see Aunt Lexi every week,” C-Rae explained.
“Daddy wanted us to make sure she didn’t think he’d abandoned her when he couldn’t walk out there any longer,” Matthew confirmed. The Moms and I all laughed through our tears.
I cooked the full meal that I’d been planning on the show. I talked through it like I did to Hannah in the mornings when the kids and I did our cooking lessons. I told little stories about Doug, like when Denise started calling him Dougie at the lunch table; when the two of us had taken Doreen and Rhiannon to the Valentine’s Day dance and then switched dates halfway through; when he and Carl and I had discussed what sex was all about as kids.
I responded to the forum messages, most of which were filled with sympathy; some wanting to know if this was an April Fools’ joke. The movie he’d selected for what was scheduled to be my date with his wife was The Truman Show. At the end of the movie I did my usual wrap-up, except I didn’t have a girlfriend to kiss. I just looked at the camera.
“You know what? A beautiful man just walked out that door and left our world. Good luck on the rest of your journey, my brother.”
It snowed early the next Saturday morning, so we waited until noon before we made our procession to the River of Life with Doug’s ashes. By then it was up to fifty degrees and we all decided we could tough out taking our shoes off to walk in the River.
Moms and Dad were with us, Jim and Jill, Rhiannon’s parents, Sly and Lily, and Sheriff Donaldson. All the kids, of course, and most of the people on the ranch. Doug was loved. We scattered the ashes and several of us had a few parting words for him. We placed the engraved plaque on a stone in the river. The kids raked and then gave the adults a chance. It was strange, but no one seemed to notice the cold with our bare feet in the pebbles of the River. We got to telling stories. Rose told about her first date with Doug—a story I’d never heard. Sora told about teaching Doug to play miniature golf.
“So that’s where he learned that!” Rhiannon laughed. “He’d never tell me where he got the auxiliary rules of miniature golf.”
“Douglas’s middle name came from my brother who I lost in Vietnam,” Jim said. “I’m so proud of the man my son became and I’m proud my grandson bears his name as well.” He held little Dougie in his arms with a blanket wrapped over him to keep the chill away from the baby. Jill had an arm wrapped around her husband’s waist.
“Do you remember when Doug told us all that he loved us?” Samantha asked. “He was sitting between Courtney and me. He was the first one in our group to tell us all that he loved us.”
We were enjoying reminiscing and raking the pebbles when we heard a soft drum beat and a tune being whistled. I looked over and Warren had brought a conga drum. He was seated over near one of the edges with the drum between his knees and was whistling. Matthew was standing beside him and I saw Warren give my son a nod.
“Here’s a little song I wrote,” Matthew sang clearly. Damn! I had no idea my son could sing. “You might want to sing it note for note. Don’t worry, be happy. In every life we have some trouble; When you worry, you make it double. Don’t worry, be happy.”
We all joined in on the chorus, singing don’t worry, be happy. Then Melanie joined Matthew and put an arm over his shoulders as she and Warren sang the scat background before Matthew launched the next verse. When they came to the interlude again, Elaine added her voice to the mix and Jessica slid in, perfectly in harmony. All the kids moved next to Matt and sang the chorus with him. By the time Matthew reached the last verse, we were all singing and dancing in the River.
My Daddy’s ashes are lying here,
But he told me what he wants us to hear.
Don’t worry, be happy.
No matter what and no matter where,
I still love you and I’ll be there.
Don’t worry, be happy.
Be happy now.”
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