Heaven’s Gate
Part IV: A Leaky Pail
47 Pumpkin Pie
My last stop of the evening was at Casa del Agua. There was no way I was going to eat any more turkey. Fortunately, Doug, Doreen, Rhiannon, and Sandy didn’t wait. Their big meal was about the same time as the one at the big house. When I got there, though, there was pie. And ice cream. And kids jumping all over me. It was great.
I could have refused the pie, and would have if it had been pumpkin. Don’t get me wrong. Pumpkin is okay. But it’s the only fruit in America with an entire holiday season dedicated to hating it. Think of it. We smash them, bake them, pie them, flavor with them, and butcher them with knives to make hideous looking monsters. It’s not that pumpkins are evil, but from mid-October to December they are everywhere. You cannot escape. The pumpkin will get you.
I sure didn’t expect Doug to react the way he did, though.
He scratched at his neck right after the first bite. Then he was scratching hard enough to draw blood and started to stand up. Instead he keeled over on the floor. I rolled him over and loosened his clothes. He was breathing and didn’t seem to be obstructed. Sandy reached the phone and dialed 911. An ambulance was at the house in fifteen minutes. We really needed to get an ambulance in our firehouse.
Sandy kissed Rhiannon and Doreen and I rushed them out to follow the ambulance in my car.
“He’s been losing weight steadily, even though we feed him a lot,” Rhiannon said. “His stupid doctor keeps saying it’s an ulcer, but usually his stomach doesn’t hurt. The itching, though, has been non-stop. I think he’s allergic to something.”
Doreen was crying in the passenger seat. I was just trying to keep my eyes clear as I drove. Hannah and Sam had rushed to the house when they saw the ambulance, so at least Sandy wasn’t at home alone with the kids. We pulled into the hospital parking lot right behind the ambulance.
Then it was non-stop waiting. Doreen and I helped Rhiannon fill out the admission form and insurance papers. Rhiannon, as Doug’s wife, was officially the next of kin, but Doreen was accepted as well when the admissions person saw how she was supporting her sister-in-law. The fact that she, Rhiannon, and Doug all had the same last name helped.
There are hard and jaded people who work in hospitals. They have a job to do and comforting families isn’t part of it. But in general, hospital staff get a bad rap. There was a guy behind the admissions desk, not much older than us. One look at Rhiannon and Doreen and he was out in full ‘protect the women and children’ mode. He was kind and gentle, called someone to bring water, called someone else to find out what Doug’s condition was, and told them which chairs in the emergency room waiting area were the most comfortable. And this was a guy who was working one of the most thankless jobs in the universe on Thanksgiving night. I reached across the desk to shake his hand and said, “Thank you for being so kind to our cónyuge.” I’m not sure if he knew exactly what I meant, but he smiled and said he’d let us know as soon as we could get in to see Doug.
“Mrs. Swift,” a nurse said softly. I sat between Doreen and Rhiannon as they leaned against me for comfort. Rhiannon lifted her head. They’d been married almost three years now, so I guess she was used to being called Mrs. Swift. “I’m sorry it has taken so long. The doctor says you can come to be with your husband now. He’s doing fine and we’ll get him checked into a room soon where the rest of you can see him as well.”
“What’s wrong?” Doreen asked.
“The doctor hasn’t completed the diagnosis as far as I know,” the nurse said. “He’ll talk to you in a few minutes.” We had to settle for that as Rhiannon was led into the bowels of the emergency room.
“I need to call Sandy,” Doreen said. “She’ll be frantic.” I handed her my new cell phone. She looked at me in surprise. “Movie stars,” she whispered as she shook her head. We ended up having to step outside the doors of the hospital to get a signal so we could call.
It took a couple of days to find out anything significant. The doctors were treating the symptoms they identified. He had a fever. There was swelling under his arms and several scratches that were infected so he was getting antibiotics. He complained of constant itching and they slathered his body with cortisone. It gave him a little relief and by Friday afternoon the parade of friends and lovers started.
Liz and Nikki came straight to the hospital from Mishawaka on Friday. Nikki sat with me in the waiting room while Liz went to see her amiga. She was waddling and was truly ready to pop. Nikki said her family were all over her and little Céleste. Liz was the baby of the family with eleven older brothers and sisters. It might have been her parents’ fortieth anniversary, but Liz was the guest of honor and all her siblings babied her non-stop.
“I actually had to go visit my parents for a little sanity,” Nikki said. “How bizarre is that?”
Sandy left the children in the care of Hannah, Sam, and Dani, so she sat with Doreen and Rhiannon in Doug’s room. I got in long enough to let him know I was there and would take care of anything he needed me to. I was supposed to work all next week, but we had a contingency plan in place for when Liz went into labor. I wouldn’t be on the set when my next baby was born. Adam had come home last week from his latest gig and was standing by as guest host. Damn! Once they get a load of him, no one will want me back. If anything, Adam’s focus on his modeling career had made him even more of a heartthrob, gay or not.
I eventually went home and helped as much as possible. Doreen and Rhiannon couldn’t stay at the hospital around the clock. It was against the rules and Jim and Jill got there on Saturday and wanted their turn as well. Casa del Agua was pretty crowded and I took Matthew and C-Rae with me to the big house. They were the oldest. I had to explain to them what was going on. I was positive and upbeat. Daddy was sick and had to go to the doctor for a few days, but he’d be home soon. In the meantime, Papa was here for them. Mama would be going to the hospital to see Daddy every day until he got home, but she loved her little ones and would always be here for them.
It was hardest to try to explain why they couldn’t go visit Daddy, too. I think they’d have been good for him.
Doug got home from the hospital Tuesday night. We didn’t have a firm diagnosis yet, but the doctor wanted him to rest up for a couple of days and then go to Indianapolis for some further tests that the hospital in Bloomington couldn’t do. He was scheduled to go in the following Monday. He was barely out of the hospital and home when Liz went into labor.
At seven-sixteen on Wednesday morning, December third, I became a father again. Sharon Lee Frost weighed seven and a half pounds and was nineteen inches long.
“Are all our babies going to be girls, Red?” I asked my lover as we cuddled together with our daughter.
“I guess so,” she said. “I think I’m done. Not that I wouldn’t pump out a dozen, but it’s not fair to the other cónyuge who want to bear your children. Of course, if any others want a surrogate and don’t mind a redhead girl, I’m proven fertile. I will serve if drafted.”
“Any others?”
“Honey, you know Céleste is as much Nikki’s baby as ours.”
“She dotes on her. I can’t believe that she actually invites Céleste to her writer’s cottage.”
“She’s trying to be a good auntie. The kind that totally spoils her niece and then takes her back to her parents,” Liz laughed. Sharon slurped the last of the goat’s milk from her bottle, burped, and went to sleep on Liz’s chest.
“And this one?” I asked.
“This one. This precious little beautiful bundle. Sharon is all ours, Brian. All ours.”
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