Heaven’s Gate
61 Visitation
I was up early Christmas morning. There were only three children in the house. Céleste and Sharon, I knew, were sound asleep. Like their mother, they preferred not to get up until the last possible moment before they had to, even on Christmas morning. Xan, however, struggled up to her chair to watch me putter in the kitchen and talk in the morning. I’d made up all the cinnamon rolls the day before and they were ready to pop in the oven. Xan ‘helped’ me make the frosting. Mostly by licking the spatula. I gave her hot chocolate while I drank coffee and sang “It’s the hap-happiest time of the year.”
While the first batch of rolls was in the oven, I picked Xan up to take her to the big chair. First, though, she wanted to look at the stockings. We didn’t hang stockings for all the hearthmates. We still had a firm rule about only giving a token gift or none at all, but the children were different. Xan wasn’t interested in her own stocking, though. She had a little bag of gifts to put in Céleste’s and Sharon’s stockings. She made them origami swans. She debated a moment and then put one in her own stocking.
“Otherwise they’ll think Santa forgot me,” she whispered. I treasured the words. Her voice was soft and far more mature than any of the other siblings. She spoke to others now, but not often. We sat in the big chair and cuddled until the timer dinged and we needed to take out the cinnamon rolls. Fresh, hot, sticky, cinnamon buns meant a need for more coffee for me and a big glass of milk for Xan. She still preferred goat’s milk to dairy. By the time we were settled, Dani and Hannah were both in the kitchen getting coffee. Sharon and Céleste padded downstairs and ran straight to the Christmas tree. Liz stumbled down shortly thereafter and got them up in their chairs for breakfast. Not satisfied to have just sweet things for breakfast, Hannah and Dani were busy cooking up a healthy breakfast for the kids. Both of them were usually up at this hour. The café was closed today, so Dani didn’t need to rush out.
Gradually, over the next hour, my other cónyuge emerged from the big bedroom. We let the kids open their stocking gifts and I was surprised when Céleste looked carefully at her little origami swan and then hugged Xan. She figured out that wasn’t from Santa. Céleste proceeded to curl up on Nikki’s lap and explain all her gifts to her. Sharon did the same with Liz. Having already spent time with Dani, Hannah, and me, Xan made her rounds, starting on Whitney’s lap and then moving to Elaine, Sam, Jen, Courtney, and finally to Rose, who was sitting with me in the big chair.
“Can we visit Ruth and Robert now?” Xan signed.
“I think that’s a good idea,” I said. “I know Grandma Bea will be up making something good for breakfast. Shall we put on our gis?”
Xan took my hand and led me upstairs so we could dress. Then we got our coats and walked together to the Clinton house.
“Merry Christmas, Precious,” Bea said as we came through the door. She winked at me, but it was obvious she was talking to Xan. Xan gave her a big hug and ran to see the babies. They were seven months old now and Cassie and Mary were feeding them. Josh was doing his best to get in the way and John was sitting at the table laughing. Xan gave each of the little ones an origami swan and then ran to crawl into John’s lap. I got sweet kisses from Cassie and Mary and a hug from Josh. Xan jumped from Grandpa John to Daddy Josh when she was given the opportunity to hold the babies.
Bea called me and I helped her carry the breakfast casserole and plates to the table.
Xan’s eyes got big.
“We ate breakfast,” she signed to me.
“It’s Christmas morning,” I said. “If you go with me to see everyone this morning, everyone will eat breakfast with us. You need to just eat a little and not get too full.” She nodded. She had definitely decided she was going to all the houses I visited today. I hoped she was up to the challenge.
We enjoyed breakfast and as soon as I’d had a chance to get oatmeally kisses from the babies, Xan and I headed for the Swifts. Jim and Jill were visiting for the holiday, but so were Claudia and Ken Harris and Sherriff Donaldson. The house was full and with Xan, there were seven children.
“Look what our son did,” Doreen said proudly. “When I came out this morning, he’d made the coffee and had fresh bread in the oven.”
“Matthew, that’s great!” I said. He beamed proudly and hugged Xan to him.
“I’m going to be a cook like Papa,” he said. “And talk to Ellie every morning.”
Rhiannon finished nursing Raven and handed her to me. We danced around the family room and she had a very big burp. Matthew asked for help slicing the bread. I was relieved. I didn’t think he needed to be wielding a bread knife yet. But we spread soft butter and sprinkled cinnamon and sugar on it for breakfast at the Swift house. Xan reached in her bag and gave an origami crane to each of the six children, even though I had to take the one for Raven to keep her from eating it.
In addition to playing with the kids, Xan spent time cuddling with each of the adults. Jim and Jill were pleased to have her treat them the same as any of the other grandparents. Sandy just loved her up one side and down the other. She and Doug had been planning to have a baby at the same time I was impregnating Rhiannon. Apparently, it just never took. Last before we left, Xan spent time in Doug’s lap, whispering in his ear.
That was one of the interesting things about Xan’s reluctance to speak. Usually, she used her voice only in a whisper so that only the person she was talking to could hear her. Doug whispered back to her and when he put her down, she signed ‘I love you, Daddy,’ to him. She had lots of daddies and lots of grandparents, but only one Papa. Still, Doug beamed at her.
We were off to the Cortales house. There were no children at this house, but Xan was no less exuberant in her greetings. Hannah and Samantha had come over after our family breakfast in the big house. Amber, Judy, Monte, and Ross were also there. Xan spent less time with the younger adults, but spent a lot of time with Grandpa Sly and Grandma Lil. These two treated her like their own grandchild. Well, she was named after their youngest daughter. They were the first to volunteer if Dani and I needed Xan-care because we were working. Of course, Sylvia and Bart were always happy to have Xan with them, but they were usually only in residence on weekends. That had turned into a strange family, but I got Dani.
Lily was so captivated by playing with Xan that Samantha finally got the bread twist out of the oven and made coffee. She and Hannah took over the kitchen while I talked to our younger clan members. Amber hugged me and gave me a few very friendly kisses.
“Can we travel together sometime?” she asked. “I just think it would be a lot of fun to work in the same town for a week. And sort of sleep together, if you know what I mean.”
I knew what she meant. She’d had a boyfriend for a while last year, but he couldn’t put up with her travel schedule. And he was a bit of a leech. She came home from one of her trips and found him living in her apartment. That lasted only long enough to have Monte, Rich, Ross, and Leonard show up to escort the guy out of the village.
Judy and Ross were definitely a couple and had moved into an apartment together. Ross was working on his PhD. In philosophy, of course. Judy had just received word that she was accepted into the Sheriff’s department. She had to go to a special police academy before she could become a deputy, but she was working in the office during the day and still functioning as our head of security for the studio, the office building, and the village.
Monte was a different case entirely. He was very close to Leonard and handled security for Designed by Leonard under Judy’s direction. But he had a different goal in mind.
“I’m number two in the fire department now,” he said softly. “I’m always here, so I’m usually the first one to the firehouse if we are called.”
“Mr. Jones says you are really getting into the work at the firehouse,” I said. “What is it you want?”
“I think I want to become the fire chief. I know at the moment, that’s just a pipe dream. Lee Jones is doing a great job as lead firefighter. But we’re almost at the point where we need someone to be dedicated to the job full time. I want to be the full-time person who is responsible,” Monte said. “I know we have a long way to go yet. It’s a township position. But right now, I’m just devoting my time to taking care of the firehouse and equipment. I’m there. I’ll be there when the time is right.”
I always wondered where Monte would end up. He’d bounced around in a number of positions in the clan and in Leonard’s company. He’d designed nearly all the security electronics in the village. It looked like he was narrowing his focus.
Xan and I moved on after we’d sampled Lily’s savory pull-apart. I cautioned Xan again not to eat too much, no matter how good the food was. We went to the Wood house. It was nearly noon by the time we got there. Of course, Dani, Dolly, Debbie, and George were already there. Bart and Sylvia were making a commotion in the kitchen with Ruth and Ben McCall.
The aunties were all over Xan and went to the sofa to cuddle her while Xan petted the girls’ six-month pregnant tummies. Dani and I dragged George to the kitchen to watch what was going on. Bart had a deep fryer going and was turning out hushpuppies by the batch.
“I’m getting fat from eating this kind of food,” George said, popping a hot one into his mouth. He held his mouth open while the huffed and puffed to cool the thing down. When he finally was able to swallow, he continued. “I’m not actually sure Debbie and Dolly are pregnant. They might just be eating too much of this food!”
“George, watch yourself,” Ruth said to her son. “Never comment about your women’s weight when they are pregnant. You will find yourself living back in the dormitory.”
“Too late,” I said. “We’ve turned it into a school. It’s where all the kids go for their lessons each day.”
“Better behave then, son,” Ben said. “Mom’s already converted your room into a craft center.”
“I blew up like a balloon when I was pregnant,” Sylvia said. “Weighed 200 pounds. Of course, I was carrying triplets.”
“Really?” George asked. Bart guffawed and Sylvia giggled.
“No. Only Bart gained weight during my pregnancy. He never lost it!”
When Xan was finished with Debbie and Dolly and they were passed out asleep on the sofa, she came to cuddle with Uncle George. She had made a distinction between her daddies, Josh and Doug, and her uncle. That was pretty cool. She spent time with each of her grandparents and ate hushpuppies along with everyone else. It could have been because Sylvia put out a little dish of honey and showed her how to dip her little fritters.
The day was far from over, though some of our stops were short. We stopped in to see Casa de la Tierra and their new baby, Lorelei. You would think Brenda had given birth the way she hovered over that baby. We didn’t stay long as all their families were due to arrive at noon.
Mama Bear Hamm brought cookies and cider for us as Leonard, Bob, Susan, Pam, Brett, Laurie, and Reese gathered around. All was well at Casa de Audacia. We saw Jess and Maggie just as they were headed out to go celebrate with Theresa, Larry, and Dawn. We joined them on the walk over and Xan delivered her little origami swans to Ellie, Leslie, and Teri. Dawn accepted on behalf of the one-month-old baby.
“Poor Larry,” Dawn said. “Still no boys.”
“He can have one more shot at you for that, then we both cross our legs,” Theresa said. “Four is enough.”
And then we were at the mansion built into the hill. Lupe met us at the door with her three kids. Xan started signing with the kids at once. I noticed that Jorge and Maria were as fast with their fingers as Xan was.
“I have no idea what they are saying!” Lupe said. “But they get along.” Xan gave each of the three kids a swan. “We’ll let them play while I take you up to Senorita Heaven’s room,” she whispered. Xan had none of that. She latched onto my hand and was right with me. “The senorita is still in bed,” Lupe whispered. “Do you think you should take the baby?” I just smiled and winked at Lupe. We knocked and Jessica invited us in.
Xan ran to her and jumped on the bed.
“Hello, little girl. Aren’t you a Christmas morning surprise?” Jessica pulled her sheet up a little more securely around what I was quickly aware of as her naked breasts. I plopped on the bed beside her and kissed her thoroughly. She soon lost her reluctance in the presence of my daughter.
“Merry Christmas, darling,” I said. “Guess what! The answer is yes!”
“You’ll go?”
“There is one little detail that still has to be agreed upon. Xan, Heaven has invited me to go on a little trip with her to see another part of the world this week. It’s very exciting. But your birthday is a week from today. I wouldn’t be home until a couple days afterward. I always want to celebrate my little girl’s birthday with her. What do you think? Could we celebrate a couple days later when I get home?” I asked.
Xan looked at me and then at Jessica. Then her hands started flying.
“Birthdays are just a party. We can have a party when Papa gets home,” she signed. But she didn’t stop there. “Does Papa love Heaven? Will Heaven be a new Mama? I don’t like it when Aunt Whitney is so far away all the time. Will Heaven stop going far away? If she is my Mama, I want her here. You won’t go far away for a long time, will you, Papa?”
“What? What did she say?” Jessica asked.
“Xan, it’s not polite to speak a language that is not understood by those in the room. Heaven doesn’t know sign language as well as you do,” I said. I just waited for her to process what I was saying. I could see the gears turning.
“Oh!” she said aloud. “Heaven, I apologize for being rude to you and not speaking in English. I will teach you sign language. Will you teach me French?”
“Certainement!” Jessica said. “Maybe you could come and visit me in Paris when you learn a little French. Everyone there speaks French.” Xan had to process the idea of being rude by not speaking a language everyone understood, but accepted that if she learned French then the French people wouldn’t be rude.
“Do you love Papa?” Well, that was put bluntly as only a child can put it.
“Yes. I love your Papa,” Jessica said smiling at me.
“We can have a birthday party when he comes home. Will you come home with him?”
“Oh dear. Well, no. I have to work and I’ll be traveling to Japan when Brian comes home. I’m sorry I’ll miss your party.”
“You won’t be a Mama then,” Xan said with finality.
“Because I don’t come to your party?”
“No. Because you will always be far away. Mamas are near so we can love them,” Xan said. It was Jessica’s turn to process the information. “You can still be Aunt Heaven,” Xan concluded. There was moisture in Jessica’s eyes. It might have been the first time she truly ever realized what she had given up.
We continued our Christmas visits. Mom, Dad, and Anna were with Dinita, Angela, and her boyfriend, Del. Of course, they were all naked. Xan was out of her gi almost before we were in the door and ran to Mom. Mom and Anna were Gramma with no differentiation between the two. When I was out of my clothes, I gave Dinita and Angela each a hug and kiss. I shook hands with Del and Dad and finally got a chance to hug my moms. We’d long since gotten over the idea of being naked together, though Anna knew that I still responded to her if we held that hug too long. She patted my butt and let me go. Then Xan was up in Anna’s arms.
We had a little of Dinita’s soup for lunch.
“This child of mine won’t be here for New Year’s Day, so I promised to make our annual celebration meal for Christmas,” Dinita said as she served. Just the aroma was enough to send my taste buds into overdrive. “Blackeye peas, collard greens, salt pork, and cornbread. Angela and I never lived farther south than this, but my mother taught me to make this dish and we have it at least once a year.”
“There was a time when I was little that we ate this meal every day for a month,” Angela laughed.
“That was when I was still trying to get my degree and worked part time on campus,” Dinita laughed. “I had neither the time nor money to make anything else.”
“This is so much better than lutefisk!” Del sighed.
On our final stop, Xan delivered a swan to Geoff’s daughter, Sarah. I got a hug from both Geoff and Kevin before Robyn wrapped me in her arms. What a difference. Robyn and Geoff had both packed on the pounds. Kevin, of course, was in a lovely transparent negligee and dressing gown that made him look like a 1950s movie queen. Except he hadn’t strapped up his package and it was clearly outlined beneath the gown.
On our way back to the big house after our visits, Xan took my hand and led me to the silo. She quietly began undressing at the door and storing her clothes in a bin. It was cold out and would be cold in the Sacred Space as well. I quickly shed my clothes and joined her while she led me in forms. We had to keep moving in order to stay warm in the cold room. Xan seemed to have no difficulty. She signed as she faced me.
“I am a language. I learned the language from Master Bri. No one else knows our language. We talk our language together and teach the little ones. I am tiny, but I will learn the language better than anyone else.”
I was stunned. In a way, she was exactly right. She spoke the language of martial arts better than anyone save perhaps Whitney, Judy, and Amy.
We dressed quickly and returned to the house where the parents of several of us had also gathered just to relax and enjoy the celebration with each other.
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