Heaven’s Gate
35 Season’s Greetings
To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. Our season was Christmas and we barely got home from Savannah in time to celebrate. Jessica arrived at the same time and we met her and Amy at the airport before we came home. I rode with Jessica and Amy while the five girls with me picked up my car from the parking lot and drove it home.
“I’m going to the dorm,” Amy said. “I’m just hoping there is still someone around who wants to play.”
“Just be careful of the new guys. They haven’t gotten used to the crazy yet,” I laughed. Eric had moved over to the dorm for the winter break and I could just imagine his response to Amy being aggressive.
“That’s just it,” Amy sighed. “This place used to be so much fun and now everyone is serious all the time. I think it’s kids that do it to you. Have little ankle-biters and you forget how to have a good time.”
“Really, Amy? The kids are a good time.”
“Mmmhmm. Are you going straight home, then?” she grinned. I glanced at Jessica. She had a pleading look on her face.
“Uh… A little later,” I said.
By the time I got to the big house, of course, my family was all in bed. I kissed Xan on her head as she slept. Almost two years old. I knew Céleste and Liz would be at Casa del Agua so Céleste could nurse on Rhiannon. I hoped Doug took time to cuddle with Liz as well.
It had become a little difficult because Liz never really got more than a few drops from her nipples and Rhiannon flowed like a spigot. The babies had to eat every few hours, so Liz and Céleste needed to be near the food bar. Of course, Rhiannon, Sandy, Doug, and Doreen wanted to be in their own house. It was natural. When I was home, I found I spent a couple nights a week there as well.
I’d never thought about how complicated our relationships made everything until I’d started working on my estate plan. Providing for my family now that we were in our mid-twenties meant something very different than it did when we were teens. Sure, I had a master suite to which I could take an individual lover. But where did Rose go to be alone or to take one of our hearthmates for the evening? I’d already heard Elaine talking about having a place closer to work so she didn’t have to commute in morning traffic.
Angela had completely moved to her mother’s house before school started this fall. She was in clinical rotations now and was moving to different facilities to be with different kinds of patients. The fall had been in Family Medicine, Pediatrics, and now Ob/Gyn. Toward the end of January, she’d move to Psychiatry and Neurology. She wouldn’t get another break until August. It was almost worse than Whitney’s schedule in the Marines.
I noticed that Josh, Cassie, and Mary were spending more time in the suite at the Clintons’ house. Cassie was with me a lot, either as my assistant in the studio or on the road. I could scarcely begrudge her time with Josh when we were at home. After Mary graduated, her role on Young Cooking had moved from kitchen manager to assistant producer. She had worked with Reese to staff the kitchen the way Reese was most comfortable, to make sure all supplies were stocked, and to coordinate schedules, topics, and audiences. Since Young Cooking was live at nine in the morning, Mary was usually at the studio by seven. Hannah was still functioning as Executive Producer for the show since it split from Chick Chat this fall, but it had its own crew, recruited from Lonnie’s graduates at the University. One thing about working the way we had for the first few years, we had lots of contact with a lot of talented people through our cooperation with Lonnie’s classes. Mary would be the full-fledged producer for that show soon and Hannah would truly relax into the role of executive.
Dani was always with me when she could be. With Xan being almost two, it was harder to travel with her and have Dani function as my assistant on the road. At the same time, she was more active during the day at the café in the village with her sisters. They were still only open for breakfast and lunch, but it wasn’t unusual for Dani to be up when I was at four-thirty and be at the café by five-thirty. Sylvia had moved up to the house in the village full-time. Bart was there three to four days a week while he still managed his distillery in Bardstown. They’d sold their house in Louisville. Sylvia was happy to have Xan in the mornings if I wasn’t available.
I wasn’t at all surprised when my little girl came padding up to me in her footie pajamas when I got up Christmas Eve morning to begin fixing special treats for the day. I didn’t even realize she was there until I felt her tugging at my leg. I tossed a towel over the rising bread and reached down to scoop up my baby. She wrapped her arms around my neck to hug me and then signed, “Sleepy, Papa.”
“Were you too excited to sleep last night?” I asked as I nuzzled her. She nodded. Xan wasn’t much bigger than she’d been as a baby at twenty-seven inches and twenty-four pounds, though she was fully mobile now, including handling the stairs. It took her a while to crawl up them. They must seem like mountains and she preferred to be carried up. Coming down, though, she would sit on the step and bump down one at a time.
It was slightly more concerning that she didn’t talk. We knew she had vocal cords because she could screech, giggle, and cry with the best of them. We knew she had language skills because she signed all her needs and conversations. She just didn’t talk. Dr. Jan told us not to worry about it. She didn’t think there was any vocal trauma and that speaking was often a choice a child made rather than a necessity. Sylvia had tried desperately to get Xan to talk and we finally asked her not to pressure our baby. She grudgingly accepted that if she wanted to take care of Xan on a regular basis, she had to abide by our rules.
I held our sweet baby and sang little Christmas songs as we danced around the family room. The whole time Xan almost purred in my arms with her hand petting my cheek. We finally settled in the big chair and both of us went to sleep. She was so much like her mother.
I woke up with C-Rae and Céleste having joined Xan. I was kind of a baby mattress. I decided not to move. There was a soft caress of my cheek and Liz leaned over the back of my chair to kiss me softly.
“It’s only six, love,” she whispered. “Go ahead and sleep with the babies.”
“I’m missing James and Matthew,” I whispered back.
“They’ll be here soon. Matthew spent the night last night with Ellie. You know how fast Rhiannon wakes up. I don’t think she woke up when we attached the babies to her tits this morning. I left James attached and brought Céleste. Dor’s in the kitchen finishing what you started this morning.”
“Thank you, love.” I just sat there cradling my children in my arms.
Christmas Eve was beautiful as always. I mentally marked my calendar. The sixth Christmas Eve we’d celebrated at the ranch. It seemed almost impossible. I counted my days by the birthdays of my cónyuge, clan mates, and babies. The time between was simply filled with work. I enjoyed my job. I was never going to have the audience Letterman had, but he wasn’t going to get high school kids tuned into his show every night, either. And that wasn’t the reason I was on the air anyway. The reaction my audiences had to hearing words that simply suggested they respect each other was positive. How hard is this to understand?
This year I am leaving behind my anger and sorrow. I am treasuring the memory of every moment I had with my children and my lovers. I am looking forward to a year filled with love and prosperity.
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