Foolish Wisdom
5 Inlaws
AT HOME, Mr. Raymond was waiting for Denise and spent a minute petting the horses before they took off. I got them to the barn, unsaddled, and hurriedly brushed down before I ran to the house for a shower. Time to change hats.
Doreen and Betts were waiting for me in the kitchen and both were eager to help with dinner. Allen had called when they were ready to leave O’Hare and they should have missed the worst of the Chicago traffic. That meant they’d arrive in about an hour. I put Doreen to work peeling and slicing potatoes and told Betts to set the table. I explained how there would be four plates of food served. Each man was responsible for serving his date. Doreen thought that was a little chauvinistic and I told her she could serve me since she was older and all. That degenerated into a ticklefest. Betts, of course, thought the idea of being served by her man was romantic and was all for it. Doreen looked at me behind Betts’ back and stuck a finger in her mouth like she was gagging.
I had everything ready and prepped for cooking when Mom and Dad got home from work. Allen and his parents arrived a few minutes later. In the midst of the introductions and relaxing in the family room, the phone rang and I ran to get it so no one else would be disturbed. I was going to use the “can’t come to the phone right now” line, but it was Doug’s voice that cut me short.
“Bri, I vote yes.”
“That’s good, Doug. I didn’t expect you to call and tell me directly.”
“I volunteered to make the call. It was unanimous.”
“I’m glad you made the call, Doug. You’re sure you’re okay with it?”
“Man, Doreen is my sister and I love her. We aren’t like you and Betts. Doreen practically raised me and I think she did a damn fine job.” I’d seldom heard Doug so passionate. He really did love his sister. “Bri, there’s one other thing. You know how Hannah is with her sister. I mean, we all see them hold hands and I’ve been out with the two of them and seen them kiss each other. Well you should know that Doreen and I… We always abide by the terms of the agreement. I hope that doesn’t make us sound perverted or anything.”
“Doug, in my book that’s between you and Doreen. I have nothing to say about it, except I wish that my sister and I had half as good a relationship. You would not believe the blow-up we had this morning. I’m surprised the house isn’t a smoking crater.”
“No fears of that unless you’re playing with your chemistry set. I hate to dump a bunch on you this week, pal, but… take care of my sister. Please.”
Doreen helped me finish the prep for dinner and we served the chateaubriand perfectly. I let Doreen serve me and watched as Allen and his dad both served their wives. Mom and Dad had a little tussle and he ended up holding the platter while she maneuvered the serving utensils. Betts and Allen helped us clear the table while our parents went to the family room with another glass of wine.
“Brian, will you tell Allen what you told me? Please.” Betts put her arms around Doreen and hugged her as Allen looked at me. I told him what had happened the night before and he was real apologetic. But I waved him to silence.
“Allen, I’m not trying to get your sympathy. I can take care of myself. Last night I chose to run away and lock myself in Betts’ room. But your best man has been making a lot of comments about my girlfriend, Doreen.”
“Wait! You’re really going together? What about those two girls I met on New Year’s?”
“There are actually seventeen girls and five other guys,” I said. “I feel pretty much the same about all of them.”
“Uh… me?” Doreen squeaked.
“We took a vote, Doreen. Your brother called me with the results this evening. You are officially considered an unsigned party to the agreement and have all the same rights and responsibilities until you decide whether you want to sign. Sweetheart, unless you tell us to take a hike, you are my girlfriend.” I thought Doreen would crush me with her hug.
“May I kiss my boyfriend?” she asked. I smiled and nodded.
“Doreen!” Betts broke in on our kiss. “You can’t be serious!”
“Oh, yes I am.” She looked at me and mouthed “and Doug?” I nodded. She kissed me again.
“Allen, your best man has the idea that because Doreen is the maid of honor, she should be sleeping with him. He needs to be dissuaded of that opinion. You can do it or I can.”
“Damn it! He’s been my best friend since we were twelve years old. But he can be such an asshole sometimes. Betsy, baby, what do you want me to do? Should I fire him and make your brother my best man? I’ll do anything for you.”
“No, Allen,” we all three said at the same time. I half expected someone to shout out “Jinx!”
“Baby, don’t do that. We just don’t want him to hassle Doreen and Brian. You can make him see that, can’t you? You should have your best friend beside you when we get married. I’ll never come between you and your friends. But I don’t expect them to come between me and mine, either.”
“Of course. I’ll call him tonight. If he doesn’t answer I’ll drive over to West Lafayette and drag him off whoever he’s screwing. And Brian, I don’t want you getting hurt. He’s half again as big as you and works out like a maniac.”
“Allen, we’re going to be brothers. That’s going to make you part of my family. You should ask my sister how I feel about my family. I try to treat people with respect, but I’ll do whatever is necessary to protect and defend the ones I love. And if anyone harms you or Betts or Doreen, I will never let the bastards get away. I promise that.”
“Well, I’m glad you feel that way, but there is such a thing as greater strength,” Allen said. I grinned at him.
“That’s one of the reasons I have twenty-two girlfriends and boyfriends. I never have to worry about standing alone.”
Dinner was a success. Mom and Dad got along fine with Mr. and Mrs. Partridge and Allen’s parents seemed to like Betts almost as much as Allen did. His dad was some kind of lawyer and it sounded like his mother served on all the arts boards in the city. They even spent some time asking me about the food and how it was cooked and about my summer internship. All told, it was a pretty pleasant evening. I could see Betts in a much different light. Almost through Allen’s eyes. It was clear that she loved him and wanted to make him happy. It was equally clear that Allen was totally smitten. Anything that Betts wanted, he’d jump to get for her. It made me feel good.
“I have to ask,” Mr. Partridge said to Doreen and me, “don’t you think four years difference in your ages is a bit much? You can’t have that much in common, do you?”
“There’s three years between Betts and Allen,” I said. “What’s another year?”
“Hmm. Good point,” he continued. “I guess we just assume that as we get older age difference means less. How long have you been going out together?” My mother snorted!
“This week,” I said. “We’ve been friends for a long time, though.”
“Oh, I see. I think,” Mrs. Partridge said.
“Dad, I’ve found out a lot about Brian lately. Now, you should be aware that his life is his and it doesn’t reflect on Betts and me, but I discovered this evening that Brian has seventeen girlfriends.”
“And five boyfriends,” I added.
“Oh dear. Are you all bisexual?” Mrs. Partridge asked. This time, Mom went beyond snorting and laughed out loud.
“Okay, kids. You’ve had your fun. Brian, I didn’t know we needed to add Doreen. You are supposed to keep us informed.”
“We had a vote and I got the final count just before dinner. It was twenty-two to zero in favor of Doreen becoming our girlfriend.”
“That is so reminiscent of when you came home from your first date,” Mom laughed. Dad was taking a deep drink of his wine and Allen had wrapped an embarrassed Betts up in his arms and was kissing the top of her head.
“It’s really a good arrangement,” Dad said, taking a deep breath. “We weren’t sure when we first heard about it, but these kids came up with a way to date, have fun, and explore relationships in a safe and jealousy-free atmosphere. They created a dating group in which they are all girlfriends and boyfriends and have an agreement on how they will behave. It gives them room to be daring and still not to cross any boundaries. Brian, why don’t you show Jordan and Grace your agreement?”
“Excuse me while I grab a copy,” I said. I ran upstairs and waded through the girl-stuff in my room to get a clean copy of the agreement. God! What a mess Betts and her girlfriends made of my room. I’d have to air the place out good when they finally left.
Mr. Partridge read the agreement with his wife looking over his shoulder.
“Who wrote this?”
“I did, but everyone had input.”
“Considering a career in law?”
“No sir. Chemistry with a side of kitchen,” I laughed.
“Of course, since the signers are not of age, it can’t be considered legally binding, but this would stand up as evidence that a party expected specific behavior from the other parties.”
“It wasn’t really meant to be a legal document. It’s more like our pledge to each other. We take it very seriously.”
“Well, this number four is certainly going to get tested as you get older. How do you feel about that, Doreen?” I didn’t include the page that amended the no skin-to-skin genital contact at ages sixteen and seventeen.
“Mr. Partridge, that is one of the things that makes it possible for Brian and me to have a dating relationship. You can’t imagine what a relief it is to go out with a boy and know you won’t have to fight him off all night.”
“I get it now,” Allen whispered to us. He smiled and nodded.
“I’ve never had to fight you off, darling,” Betts said. “You’ve always been respectful of my wishes. But I think you are the only man like you in the world. Except maybe my brother.”
I was sound asleep. Really, I was exhausted. I thought back over the day and couldn’t believe that I’d started it with a fight with my sister and ended it with her thanking me for being such a good brother. Allen took his parents to the little motel where they were staying and said he was going to track down his best man and have a talk. Doreen was staying the night with Betts in my room and I had Betts’ room downstairs.
It must have been after one a.m. that I felt a hand stroke my hair and little kisses on my forehead. My eyes flickered open and in the dim light I saw Doreen.
“Can I get in bed with you, boyfriend?” she asked. I slid over a little and to my surprise Doreen paused to pull her nightgown over her head before she got under the sheet. I’d started sleeping in my underwear after Doreen’s first visit. Twice, Betts had barged into the bedroom to get something from her dresser or closet.
“Doreen? You know…”
“I have my panties on. Just cuddle me, please?” How can you resist a request like that from a pretty girl lying almost naked in your arms? She pulled my hand to her breast and in minutes we were asleep spooned together with my rather rigid pole trapped against her butt.
My internal alarm rang at four-thirty. Stay safe on the road, Honey, I thought to Hannah, about to deliver her papers. It was odd. I still woke up every morning at the time I knew she was getting ready to deliver newspapers. What she called our special time. Of course, this morning my hand was cupping a warm breast with a hard nipple poking into my hand and buns were gently rocking against my erection. I was a lot closer to coming than I realized when I first woke up and pushed against her. I started to pull away, but Doreen kept hold of my hand and rubbed it against her breast.
“Doreen,” I whispered.
“Go ahead, boyfriend,” she said. “I don’t mind. In fact, I’d like it a lot. It would make me feel like I’m really one of your girlfriends.”
“I don’t really do this with all my girlfriends,” I laughed, but it just felt so good to have my cock rubbing up her butt crack, even with both of us having underwear on. I pushed forward and she started clenching and relaxing her butt cheeks rhythmically. I wasn’t going to last long. I started putting little kisses all over her shoulders and the back of her neck. She moaned softly and I could feel a shift in the position of her legs as her other hand made its way to her crotch and started rubbing. When she felt secure that I wasn’t going to pull away, she let go of my hand that was squeezing her tits and flicking across her nipples and reached behind her to pull me closer to her. She turned her face toward me and we kissed. It’s awkward to kiss when you are spooned together, but with enough neck craning on both our parts we managed to touch our lips and then our tongues.
“You are so big and hard against my little ass. I want to feel you coming against me. I want to feel you pulsing. Will you come against me, Brian?” The question was moot. There was nothing I could do to stop the feeling that was coursing through my loins as my cock started pulsing and filling my underwear with my come. That seemed to be all it took to push Doreen over the edge as the hand in her crotch vibrated. She rolled toward me and managed to get her face against mine. “Kiss me, boyfriend. Please, kiss me.” I did what I could to oblige as my now wet underwear pressed against her tummy.
I can’t remember the last time I went back to sleep after I’d woken up at four-thirty. I remembered Doreen getting out of bed, putting on her nightshirt, and kissing me once more. Then I was out of it. When I woke up, I could smell bacon.
Crap! Someone else was cooking. I stripped off my kind of crusty underwear and found a fresh pair and a pair of shorts and a T-shirt. I had to make a stop in the bathroom, but then I headed for the kitchen.
“Betts? What are you doing up so early?” The kitchen clock said five-thirty, which was about the time I could expect Mom and Dad to get up. Betts had bacon frying over too-high heat and it was starting to smoke. “Gotta turn the burner down, sister,” I said reaching for the control. “We’ll have smoke alarms going off.” Betts turned to look at me and I could see panic in her eyes.
“Help me! I have to learn to cook. What will he think if I can’t even make breakfast for him in the morning?” Wow! Had Betts really made it to almost twenty years old and about to get married without knowing how to cook?
“Don’t worry, sister. You’re going to do fine. If breakfast is a flop, give him a blow-job. He’ll never remember that he didn’t eat.”
“Brian!” Betts practically screamed. She was giggling and tears were coming out of her eyes. “How can you say a thing like that to your sister?”
“You asked me to help you.”
“I meant, help me cook. What should I do?”
“Well, first off, let’s get that bacon out of the pan and onto some paper towel to drain. If you just put it on the plate, all the grease will either pool under it on the plate or soak back into the bacon. You just cooked the fat out of it. You don’t want to put it back in. The secret is always to take it slow. There’s no such thing as fast food.” I leaned over Betts and put my arms around her, literally guiding her hands through every step. Mom and Dad were sitting at the table watching us when we turned around with bacon, eggs, and toast and set the plates on the table. They were hugging each other. It was so sweet. I realized Betts and I were hugging each other, too.
“Hey, girlfriends,” I said to Brenda and Rhiannon when they piled out of Brenda’s dad’s car. They rushed to give me a hug and then turned to hug Doreen. There were lots of “Hey girlfriends” going around. It was interesting. Rhiannon whispered in Doreen’s ear and then they kissed. It was just a peck on the lips, but they looked at each other like something important had happened.
“We’re your dates today,” Brenda announced. “What shall we do?” Mom and Dad left for work and Allen picked up Betts to go get his parents and take them to see the church. It was Thursday and there was a big rehearsal tonight with dinner out at the Studebaker Center. Doreen had stayed with me and just hugged me until Brenda and Rhiannon got there.
“I asked our girlfriend Doreen if she’d take us shopping,” I said.
“Shopping! Yay!” the girls chorused. “Are you buying us new clothes?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, sweethearts. This time I’m shopping for a wedding present. I only realized this morning that I didn’t have one for Betts and Allen.”
“That’s okay,” Brenda said. “We’re still going shopping. I might want to buy something anyway. You know. After you’ve picked out the perfect wedding present.” Okay. I was had. My little trip to the mall to grab a present was going to be an all-day event. I excused myself for a minute to go change clothes. I was not dressed for some of the stores I knew Brenda and Rhiannon would want to go to.
“A Crockpot?” Brenda asked. “That’s not a very romantic present.”
“I don’t have to be romantic. I’m not getting married. My sister, on the other hand, can’t cook. A Crockpot is perfect for her. Toss a bunch of stuff in it in the morning and in the evening serve a beautiful meal. Send the leftovers with your husband for lunch for the next two days.”
“Will Penney’s even do gift wrap?” Rhiannon asked.
“I don’t care. I’ll buy a roll of wrapping paper.”
“You can gift wrap?” Doreen asked.
“No. But I have girlfriends,” I laughed. That got me beaten on from three directions and I led the way to the food court to buy said girlfriends lunch. I was kind of burning through my cash this week, but I didn’t care. I had a job that I’d be going to in ten days and even though it was a modest wage, I was feeling like the summer was going to be terrific. After I got my sister married off.
“Now we have to shop for us,” Rhiannon said. “I think I need a new swimsuit.” I almost swallowed my tongue. Brenda and Doreen were agreeing and dragging me to Robertson’s. That was a bust. Maybe I should rephrase that. No busts were visible. They didn’t see anything they liked, so we went back out into the mall and there was a hurried and whispered conference among the girls. I was carting a Crockpot, cookbook, and wrapping paper. I should probably get a card, too.
“Come on, Brian. You’ll like this.” ‘This’ proved to be a lingerie store that also had swimming suits. The girls found me a place to sit and handed me a catalog so it would look like I was reading. Crap! I wouldn’t be able to stand up for an hour. That catalog was full of really beautiful girls posing in their underwear.
“Bri-an,” Brenda called from a few feet away. I looked up and could see down a hall of louvered doors where the girls had gone to try things on. One door was open and Brenda was standing in it in a bra and panties. “What do you think of this one? Would you want to see this when you took my blouse off on a date?” My mouth dropped open. It wasn’t even that the set was super sexy, but it was on Brenda. And nothing else. The door shut and the next one popped open.
“Brian, do these panties make my butt look too big?” Rhiannon asked. Oh God no! They make your butt look like dessert in a fine restaurant. Crap! The door closed and two minutes later the next one opened.
“Brian, do you think I need something that hides my nipples more for the wedding or does this work okay?” Doreen asked. Hell! That bra was completely transparent. I looked around, but there was no one else near where they could see into the changing area.
It kept up like that for at least an hour. They must have taken one of everything in the store to the dressing rooms. And every two or three minutes, one of them would open the dressing room door and show me another visual stimulus. I sat there with the Crockpot hiding my erection and it was only barely big enough.
“Is this bra too low-cut?”
“Oh! I can’t get these panties out of my crotch.”
“This bra feels like I’m wearing nothing at all. Wait. I’m not wearing a bra!”
“Maybe you’d like a cup of tea while you wait,” a soft voice said beside me. I looked up into the soft brown eyes of a young Asian woman. “I have a nice soothing brew I keep just for tormented boyfriends.” Tormented. That’s what I was. They were tormenting me. I nodded my head. She was back in a flash like the tea was already brewed. She sat beside me and held a china saucer as I lifted a teacup to my lips.
“I don’t think this pink does a thing for my complexion,” Rhiannon complained of the next bra and panty set she wore into the hall. I glanced nervously at the sales clerk beside me.
“It might be the wrong color for her,” the young woman whispered, “but look how it lifts her breasts and supports them like a lover’s hands.” Huh? Suddenly Brenda was in the hall. “Oh, this one is good. When a girl has that much to support, she needs the extra strength in the bra. But look how it molds to her. Having the strength doesn’t mean you have to lose the shape. It just highlights how proud her breasts are to be in front of her.” It was bad enough when it was just the girls teasing me with little toss-offs, but now this… very pretty… very Asian… I wondered if she was Chinese or maybe Vietnamese. She had a pretty heart-shaped face and the softest brown eyes. “Oh, those panties definitely make the most of her assets,” she said, pointing at Doreen. I didn’t need to wonder why she used that word. Doreen’s ass looked spectacular. And just this morning she’d had it rubbing up against my morning wood. I was going to pass out.
“Brian, I just can’t decide. Which of these three should I buy?”
“If she really can’t get all three, she should get the red one. It has the silkiest texture and when you touch it, you won’t believe it,” my coach said to me.
“The red one, Brenda. No question. The red one.” Brenda’s smile at me just lit up the entire hallway. She disappeared. I looked at the woman beside me. “Does this kind of thing happen often in here?” I asked. We paused to give Rhiannon advice. Those panties would disappear if they got wet. She said that to me?
“Oh yes. It’s unusual for a young man to be tormented by three beautiful ladies, though. You must be something pretty special.” Doreen appeared with two different bras, but she wasn’t wearing either of them. She just had them held up with one sort of covering her left tit and the other sort of in front of her right. “Have her hold one in front of her at a time.”
“Move the left one in front,” I said. Doreen passed it to the front, exposing her beautiful breast for a second. “Now the other.” She changed sides, exposing both breasts as the shutter advanced.
“Have her get the leopard. Either one would look wonderful on her, but I think she is feeling particularly wild.” I told Doreen and she hunched her shoulders up a little as she grinned. She glanced around a little and pulled both bras away to the side exposing her breasts fully. Then she scampered into the dressing room. I turned back to my accomplice
“No. I’m nothing special,” I said. “They are.”
“I’m Traci. Any time you want to surprise one of them, come see me.” She took the teacup and paused to touch my cheek. “They are. But so are you.” The girls were coming out of the dressing rooms fully clothed now and I followed them and Traci to the check-out counter.
“We should bring all the girlfriends and have Brian choose bra and panty sets for us. He was so helpful,” Brenda said. Traci turned and looked at me.
“All?” she whispered.
“Seventeen,” I answered. She did that thing where it looks like a girl just shifted her entire body inside her clothes.
“Bring them,” she nodded. “I just want to see.”
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