Becoming the Storm
59 Holiday Letter
DESPITE THE FACT I had class until eight-thirty, I was invited to stop at Casa del Sol when I got home on the second. Sarah and Lamar, of course, were on their honeymoon. But it was Renee’s twenty-fifth birthday. Lionel and Sugar had invited Rose and me. Rich and Susan as members of Casa del Sol were also there.
And another guy.
“Patrón,” Renee said as she kissed me on the cheek, “I’d like you to meet Tom Reynolds. We’ve been dating for a while. He’s still a little overwhelmed by the ranch.”
“Pleased to meet you, Tom,” I said offering my hand. He took it rather tentatively.
“Hi. Uh… I’m supposed to call you Patrón?”
“No. The name’s Brian. I think Renee was teasing us.” He scowled a little.
“Nice to meet you.” He didn’t sound convinced.
“Now. Happy birthday, Renee,” I said. She grinned at me.
“We saved the cake until you got here,” Sugar said. Lionel held his son.
“Good thing you got here when you did,” he said. “Leon wasn’t about to settle down until we sang happy birthday.”
“And ate cake,” Sugar laughed.
We did sing and Leon was a happy boy when he was allowed to grab a fistful of cake and stuff it in and around his mouth. I had to wonder if he was going to take after his long tall dad or his short round mom. I supposed there were other options on that matrix as well.
“Well, we’ve been waiting for something else, too,” Renee said. “Tom and I have been dating for several months, but it’s been long distance. He lives in Columbus, Ohio. I’ve been working for the Bloomington School District while I finished my master’s for the past six months. But I’ve been offered a job as a curriculum developer at Pearson with an office in Columbus. I… We want to announce that I’ll be moving to Columbus after the holiday. Tom has a nice place there and has invited me to live with him.”
“Congratulations!” Rose said.
“That’s great news, Renee,” I added. “You can’t imagine how we’ll all miss you here, though.”
“Well, with Leon arriving and then Lamar and Sarah getting married, our little house is getting kind of crowded. It’s time for me to spread my wings,” Renee said.
“I hope you’ll both be regular visitors back here on the ranch,” I said. “You are still family.”
Tom didn’t say much during the evening and to be fair, Rose and I only stayed for a little while. I had a show in the morning and class had been tiring. Another instance of professors realizing they haven’t covered everything for the semester and that there were only two more classes to go. I had two pretty major research papers and two finals coming up. Still, something about Tom bothered me a little. I couldn’t put my finger on it. Renee seemed happy, though, and that’s what counts.
I have mixed feelings about Christmas newsletters. I like my Christmas cards to have a personal note and not be a missive about how wonderful I am or what a fabulous life my family has. There had been so much that happened this year, though. I had something to say to people that I didn’t want to write a hundred times, like an after-school punishment. I still wrote a personal note in each of the hundred and fifty cards I sent, but I included a short holiday letter that I printed out from the computer.
I address this short letter to all my family and friends. I hope you will accept this as something that I wish I could say to each of you individually and face to face.
This has been a difficult year. If you don’t know and would like to know the details, we can talk about them at another time. I don’t want to relive every moment of the past year on this page. I want to say, though, that I have learned lessons that I hope will make me a better person. Those I would like to pass on.
Lesson One: The person I am with at this moment is the most important person in the world. I have chosen to be with this person and he or she has chosen to be with me. In that choice, we made a commitment to each other. I deserve his or her attention and he or she deserves mine. We will never have this moment again.
Lesson Two: I am the only person who actually has to live with me. Everyone else has a choice. Therefore, it is up to me to be the kind of person I want to live with. The praise or castigation of others does not define me. Nor do events that happen to me or around me. I am defined by what is inside me and I can choose what is there.
Lesson Three: I cannot depend on the future. Plans might be important to prevent chaos, but plans can be changed or utterly destroyed. I cannot depend on an opportunity in the future to correct my mistakes of the past. Or to forgive them. Whether that future is the next day or an expected afterlife, it is uncertain at best. The only real resource I have for making things ‘right’ is NOW.
Lesson Four: I am not perfect. I cannot live up to my own ideals, let alone anyone else’s. Therefore, I will simply fill my life with as much love as I can find and pour it out to others as fast as I can give. I think, when it comes down to it, that summarizes all the rules and agreements I’ve been making up for the past ten years.
You would not receive this holiday greeting if you were not a person that I love and respect. I hope this small token will help to make your winter holidays as bright as you have made my life.
The next week or ten days flew past. We celebrated Matthew’s second birthday on Sunday the twelfth. I didn’t have a final on Monday, so I stayed the night with Casa del Agua and, something that wasn’t as common as it once was, we all five slept together in their master. And Sandy wanted to be as close to Doreen and me as she could get. That proved to be pretty damned close! Doug and Rhiannon were so intent on each other, I don’t think they noticed.
Basketball season was underway and both teams were getting in gear. The men had dropped their opener against Ball State before Thanksgiving, but they were taking no prisoners when they downed Kentucky 96-84. The women were grooving from the start with an 83-65 win over Wright State and more than a 25-point spread against both opponents in the Full-O-Pep tournament. Both teams went to finals week with unbroken win streaks since Thanksgiving. Whitney was off until the week after finals. Lionel had to play on Saturday.
And I was in the computer room typing my research papers for media classes whenever I wasn’t on set or watching one of their games. I was thankful that Debbie and Dolly were taking two of my shows during finals week so I’d have time for last minute prep. When Hannah and I finished our final in Media Organization on Tuesday, I was wishing it had been a research paper, instead. We both did okay, but writing three sensible essays in two hours is not a fun exam. I was afraid Telecommunications Theory on Thursday would be pretty much the same.
Of course, before I could get to Thursday’s exams, I had to go to court. LWN probably didn’t check my schedule closely or they would have tried to get the court date on Thursday instead of Wednesday. It was really a pleasure to watch Art at work in the environment that had made him wealthy. After arguing about venues and charges, the upshot of the day was that everything of a criminal nature was dismissed and the only things remaining were the three civil suits—us vs. them, them vs. us, and Heaven vs. them. The judge called Art, Conrad, and the three LWN attorneys to the bench and advised them to go someplace, settle their differences, and stop wasting the court’s time.
When we left, Art seemed pretty smug.
When I got home from that last final Thursday night, I was greeted with the news that Theresa was in labor. I thought I should go over there and was firmly told that they had enough help and I wouldn’t be. I realized everyone from the casa was at the table for dinner except Angela. She couldn’t pass up the opportunity to be involved in another birth.
We ate and there was a frisson of excitement at the table. Everyone on the ranch looked forward to having a new baby around and everyone at the table kept glancing at Dani as if at any moment she was going into labor, too. Dani started giggling and that set the rest of us off as well. She pushed back from the table and put both hands over her belly.
“Nope. Baby says she’s still cookin’ and doesn’t want to come out,” Dani said. “We’ll check again at Christmas.”
That pretty much did it for the evening. I started out with Dani in my lap in the big chair, but people just couldn’t get close enough. We all moved to the big bedroom and my cónyuge got into something that was reminiscent of the old wagon wheel formation we’d use during sleepovers. Only this one had Dani as the hub. Everyone wanted to touch her and the baby bump.
I don’t think I’d ever seen Dani cry. I kissed her cheeks and tears.
“What is it, sweetheart? Are you okay?”
“I’m the luckiest woman in the world,” she whispered. “I love each of you and I love all of you.”
We were at breakfast and scrambling to get to the studio when Dawn came in.
“Does anyone know if Angela has any exams or classes today?” she asked. Sam jumped up to get her master schedule.
“According to this, she finished her exams. She has to be at work at two o’clock this afternoon. Is she okay?” Sam said.
“I think she’s fine. She’s just so exhausted. She went to sleep right after the baby was born last night and I didn’t have the heart to wake her up yet.”
“Baby?” half a dozen voices asked.
“Oh, yeah! Baby!” Dawn said. “I was so worried about Angela I forgot the baby!” We laughed. “Leslie Dawn Irving was born at 11:55 on December 16, meaning that, according to official records, she was a day old five minutes later. Our little treasure is nineteen and a half inches long and weighed in at a whopping seven pounds six ounces.” Dawn did a little curtsey after her announcement.
“They named her after you!” Jennifer practically shouted. “That is so cool!” Dawn nodded and tears sparkled in her eyes.
“Her middle name. We’re… We’re kind of in love,” Dawn whispered. I wasn’t sure if there was a specific couple that was in love or if it was the whole triad. I hoped it was the latter. I was pretty sure it was.
“Hate to break it up, Dudes,” broke in Samantha, “but we’re due in the studio. No, Hannah. La Madrina may not visit her newest child until after we finish filming. Let’s get in and have a show that finishes early so we can all celebrate.”
Slave driver!
Well, no one was going to stop La Madrina from seeing her newest baby that easily. She slipped out with Dawn and when taping started, Ellie was on Hannah’s hip as she directed the show. I was sure the poor little two-year-old would be bored in a minute, but I watched as Ellie pointed each time Hannah gave a cue. She was always pointing at the next camera when it went live. There were times that I wasn’t sure if Hannah was directing or if Ellie was. When we took our first commercial break, Dawn swept in and took her back home.
Nikki got home Friday night, a little surly. She pretty much ignored me and dragged Dani to the sofa. Once she was sure Dani was comfortable, Nikki curled up in a little ball and lay her head next to Dani’s round tummy while Dani petted Nikki. It took Nikki nearly ten seconds before she was sound asleep.
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