What Were They Thinking?
41 Expansion
THE KIDS WERE BACK and forth a few times over the summer. But by midsummer, Marilyn, Hayden, and I had moved into the almost luxurious suite upstairs that had been Brian’s.
“Why?” Marilyn asked as she stood behind our new king-size bed. The delivery men had cursed the entire time they were moving the pieces up the narrow staircase. We tucked the sheets in and stared at each other across the expanse. “Why did we ever give this suite to our son? We should have been living in this luxury for the past three years!”
“It was an effort to contain the hordes,” Hayden said as he stepped out of the massive bathroom. “Don’t forget we only installed this bathroom last summer.”
“At the insistence of the girls who took up residence,” I laughed. “Hayden, you were so good to them.”
“Honestly, the first time I saw Sora streak naked down the stairs and into the bathroom, I knew that if I didn’t want another heart incident, I needed to do something right away. And your daughters were no better. Both Jennifer and Courtney share your proclivity to run around naked.”
“Do you object, lover?”
“Hardly,” he laughed as he caught me in his arms. Marilyn rolled across the bed and popped up next to me. We wrapped her in our hug. “I’m just happy not to have any other distractions from my women around. I love you. I love you.”
“We have a new bed,” Marilyn said. “We should test the springs.”
We visited the casa for dinner the night Brian and Hannah hosted the University Media Department Chair along with Harvey and Miss Polly. What a beautiful job they’d done on the renovation. And you could see how proud the kids were of their new home and studio. Three months earlier I had no hope they’d be able to stay together. I was so proud of them I could burst. They’d even thought ahead to provide a guestroom in what had been one of the horse stalls. They’d kept the overall rustic look, but everything had been refurbished and modernized. The kitchen where they would produce their show was spectacular and Brian gave a wonderful cooking demonstration before we sat to dinner.
When the other guests had gone and it was just the three of us with the casa, I had another little surprise for the group.
“I’m so proud of you, Brian,” I said. “All of you. You did such a remarkable job of making a showplace out of this old barn. We have some champagne that we brought and I’d like you each to have a glass so we can propose our own toast.” Hayden opened three bottles of champagne and Josh and Brian helped serve it.
“Everyone come over to the fireplace. It’s too hot to actually light one, but I’m sure you will share this around your own fire when we’ve gone home tomorrow,” Hayden said.
“You all took a huge risk when you decided to remodel the barn,” I said. “I had a long conference with the other parents and it was their faith in you, as much as my own, that convinced me that you could do this. And look at this beautiful space you have created. I just can’t say how incredibly proud I am of you all. And the whole clan. But this involves just those of you who call yourselves Casa del Fuego.” I looked around at them. Mostly eighteen with one younger and a couple older. They’d done such an incredible job. “Yesterday, we received an offer of settlement from the insurance company. We could have refused and probably have gotten twice what they were ready to pay rather than be sued. But what they were willing to pay was already much more than what it will cost to replace the original farmhouse. So, we accepted the settlement.”
“Yay!” The cheering accompanied a first clink of glasses and a deep swig from the champagne glasses. I had a feeling there would be some tipsy loving going on that night.
“That has two implications. First, we will be able to rebuild. We’ll start construction on a new house next summer. I’m looking over all the drawings that Rhiannon created and we’ll be talking to Nappanee Manufactured Housing about creating the new house. I’ll give you all first rights to the new house if you want it, and you can use this space strictly as a production facility.” There were a few wrinkled brows as they considered moving out of the home they’d just completed but they didn’t need to make any big decisions tonight. “You don’t have to move. If you decide this is where you want your home to be, then you can stay here as long as you want to. We’ll probably rent out the new house, maybe to the next generation coming down here to go to school. But there is another implication that I know you are not expecting. Since I am receiving such a generous compensation for the house, I have decided to retire your entire $75,000 indebtedness on the remodel of the barn into this beautiful home. You deserve this and I am a richer woman by far because of it.” I raised my glass again and they joined me in open-mouthed silence. “To your future,” I said.
We all drank and then everyone tried to hug the three of us at once. More champagne was poured and there was a lot of crying. Not the least of it was from me.
From that point, our visits were somewhat less frequent. Even the horses had moved to the ranch. At Thanksgiving the girls and Brian came to visit us. Bill and Crystal joined us as well and it was like we were one big family at the table. Then they all left. The casa had scheduled their Thanksgiving in the evening. But we went to the ranch for Christmas. And on Christmas Eve we saw Samantha, Hannah, and Brian become handfasted as a single family unit. We’d all known this was coming since the day Hannah returned to the clan a year ago. The joy was palpable.
We missed the kids terribly through the rest of winter and spring. We had jobs. The kids had school. I felt bad for them. They were all managing their full-time class loads while still producing a weekly television show. Hannah had negotiated a good working arrangement with the IU Media Department and they were so pleased they wanted to hold a production camp at the ranch over the summer. Apparently, Hannah had become a regular guest speaker in Lonnie Phillips’s classes.
The big news came a few days after Mother’s Day. Jennifer and Courtney had visited for the holiday, professing they had a lighter exam schedule than others and wouldn’t be missed if they didn’t attend commencement at IU. We couldn’t expect everyone to be able to go back and forth at the same time. They’d need a bus. Hannah, Sarah, Nikki, and Liz had been in town a few weeks earlier. Whenever they came to town we were happy to have as many as possible stay with us. There had regularly been seven to fifteen people at a time in the house the year before and the three of us rattled around.
When Brian and Doreen walked through the door on Wednesday, I knew she was pregnant. She just had that certain glow about her and Brian hovered over her like a mother hen. We arranged to have Doreen stay out of sight until Brian had served his parents cocktails after work.
“Mom, Dad, Anna. I knocked up my sister’s best friend. You’re going to be grandparents,” Brian said as he led Doreen into the room. Marilyn spit martini out her nose and dumped the rest on Hayden and me. She hugged Doreen fiercely and pointed a finger at Brian.
“You!” Tears sparkled in her eyes as Hayden and I joined her in hugging the happy couple. “You made me waste a perfectly good martini.”
If that wasn’t enough, though, when Marilyn called Betts to tell her the news, Betts announced that she was also pregnant with number two.
“You’re what?” Marilyn screeched into the phone. This time I caught her martini before she could dump it on us. “I am going to disown all of you! I’ll leave my fortune to The Salvation Army! You all planned this. You have to have been planning it for months! How am I supposed to be at both my grandbabies’ births when you live 2,000 miles apart? You’d better have that figured out before they are due, let me tell you!” Marilyn’s rant dissolved into laughter as she gave the phone to Hayden and leaned in to kiss me.
“I never thought about how you’d be at both births, Mom,” Brian said. “You have to choose ours. Betts has already had her first.”
“Don’t you look so smug,” Marilyn said, pointing her finger at me. “They’re your grandbabies, too. We might have to split the duties.”
“Oh, wouldn’t Betts love it if I showed up at her baby’s birth instead of you!” I laughed. “I’m surprised you didn’t figure it out when Brian served the martinis. I knew as soon as they walked through the door. I’ll even bet that none of those answers Doreen gave on the phone had anything to do with what Betts was saying.” Hayden handed me the phone. “Me? Hello, Betts.” I listened to Marilyn and Hayden’s eldest as she invited me to be with her at the birth of her next baby. I started crying. “She said she’d love to have me with her when her baby is born.”
“Sometimes that girl surprises even me,” Hayden said.
Well, Betts beat Doreen by two weeks and we were present for both Jonathon’s and Matthew’s birth. We didn’t pretend that I was as important at the birth of Betts’s baby as Marilyn was. It was enough that I was welcome and that Betts accepted me as a kind of second mother-in-law. And with three mothers standing around, I think she was just as happy when Marilyn and I returned to Indiana.
We were present for Matthew’s birth. We got the call early in the morning just after we got back to Mishawaka.
“Well, let’s go, love,” Marilyn said. “Our son is in labor.”
“You two drive carefully,” Hayden said. “Keep each other awake and alert. There are no prizes awarded for being there at the birth.”
“You are so smart,” Marilyn said. “I mean it, Hayden. Brian and Doreen have an entire clan surrounding them. Not only Casa del Fuego but also Casa del Agua. What do you suppose their baby will be?”
“Steam?” I suggested. We laughed and took enough time to pack a thermos of coffee before we left. It was after midnight and Marilyn and I talked all the way to Bloomington. I even slid to the center seat and buckled in so we could touch. That was for the first hundred miles. When we got to Kokomo, we switched and I drove.
“I’m too young to be a grandmother three times,” Marilyn sighed as she lay her head on my shoulder.
“You are getting them in multiples, not sequentially,” I laughed. “You can’t help that your children got pregnant while they were still in diapers.”
“Our,” she said, stroking my thigh as I drove. “Our children, Anna love. Even Betts, but especially Brian. You’ve been there during the hardest parts of life. It was you who kept him summers during his internship.”
“And gave you the excuse to spend weekends in Kokomo,” I laughed. “I figured if I held your son hostage, you would have to visit me.”
“And when Denise died.”
“Oh, Marilyn. I was so scared that night. I think I drove ninety miles an hour getting to Mishawaka in order to be with them. I needed you so much.”
“But you were there and gave them all the strength and comfort that I could have. Not just Brian, but all of them. And it was you that settled him down the night he went to Evansville. I’ll never forget you grabbing him by both cheeks and telling him to get his head out of his ass before he mounted his white charger,” she laughed. “And the ranch.”
“I just wanted to help. Marilyn, I wanted to be the kind of mother you were. I wanted to be there for our children.”
“Our children. You know, I can’t think of a single one of the Casa and have never even considered any of the rest of the clan who I wouldn’t think of as our children. You helped me see that, dear. You helped me see that they are all our children,” Marilyn said.
“I’m tempted to find that turn-off the kids found where there is a park where I can make love to you, Marilyn.”
“I love you forever, Anna.”
We arrived in plenty of time. Betts had been in labor only six and a half hours. We were lucky that we were there for Thanksgiving. Poor Doreen had been at it for hours before they called us and for four more hours after we got there. Brian looked panicked when he was told to get between Doreen’s legs to catch the baby. I think Marilyn and I had a unison smirk for him. When he left the room so Doug could enter and cut the cord, I went out with him. We both hit the floor beside Hannah.
“Is he healthy?” she asked.
“The midwife says so. So red and wrinkled and beautiful.” Brian was crying. I wrapped an arm around his shoulders and hugged.
“I’m a grandma,” I whispered. “Twice in two weeks. And my daughter hasn’t even gotten pregnant yet! Has she?”
“No, Anna. Doreen’s is the only current pregnancy on the ranch,” Brian laughed. “I’m a father.”
“You might as well all go in for a minute. Then we need to give baby and mommy a chance to rest while I sort out the paperwork,” the midwife said as she came out of the room. Hannah and I slipped through the door and stood beside the bed.
“He’s beautiful, Doreen. You look like such a proud father, Doug,” I said.
“Oh, I am,” he answered. “I just can’t even imagine anything better. Come meet our son, Matthew, Anna-Mom.”
Marilyn and I reached out together to touch the little treasure.
“This is Grandma Marilyn and Grandma Anna,” Doug said. “And here’s Aunt Sandy and Aunt Rhiannon. And you’re going to get to know La Madrina really well, little guy. And here’s Papa. You’ve already met Mommy. I’m Daddy. We’re your family, Matthew Douglas Swift. We’re your family.” Doug was crying like all the rest of us. We had a little miracle in our midst.
Doreen, of course, was four years older than Brian and the rest of the clan. We pretty much assumed that hers would be the only child born until the rest had graduated from college. I could see the baby-lust in all their eyes, though. Fiery Liz nearly hyperventilated every time little Matthew was near. I think if he’d turned his head toward her she’d have stripped off her shirt to suckle him, though those tiny breasts couldn’t have provided anything of substance, I’m sure.
Still, they all kept their birth control in place and focused on completing their education. The demands of the studio helped with Brian moving to a slot as part of Elaine’s new women’s show. They taped almost daily in the studio even with Brian maintaining his course load to graduate in three years. The invasion of the younger generation in the spring required another adjustment for the whole ranch. It was good that a couple of older college students had taken up residence in the barn and they’d turned it into dormitories for the new freshmen.
Marilyn, Hayden, and I found ourselves spending many more weekends at the ranch. When the kids acquired Marshall and Martha’s property next door, we were among the first to claim a lot in the new subdivision. We knew that none of us could make the move right away, but just having a lot revitalized our whole marriage.
Yes, I called it a marriage. My cónyuge, in the terms of the clan, had made it clear to me that I was as much a wife to Hayden and Marilyn as Marilyn was to Hayden and me. And it became second nature to be together in any combination. Brenda, the mathematician of the clan, said there were four possible combinations in any threesome as long as we didn’t count masturbation. I stared at her for a long time that evening as she explained things from a strictly mathematical perspective. She even had a chart that showed the permutations as the core group grew and a Venn diagram that showed the overlaps of the casa within the clan. She was preparing the whole thing as a presentation for her advanced statistics class.
No matter what Brenda called it, what we realized was that there was no combination that involved two or more of the three of us that was unacceptable. And we enjoyed every one of them we could.
We all knew that moving to the ranch would have to wait until Hayden’s father passed away. The old man was well over ninety and I had a few uncharitable thoughts about him. I discovered one night while Hayden was at a meeting of fathers of the tribe and Marilyn and I were enjoying a martini more than we really needed that Marilyn shared some of my feelings. Hayden was devoted to his father and I admired that. But his father had tied up his estate before he went to the nursing home so that the property could not be inherited unless Hayden was still resident on the original homestead. Marilyn and I both harbored a secret wish that the old man would just die so we could move to Bloomington.
We never told Hayden that.
“Anna, this is Jim Donaldson,” the voice said when I answered the phone. I’d talked to the sheriff on many occasions starting back when I’d first purchased the property.
“How are you, Jim?” I asked lightly.
“Not well, Anna. Are Hayden and Marilyn available? I need to speak to all of you.”
“We can put the phone on speaker now,” I said, motioning for Hayden and Marilyn to join me on the bed. We’d picked up a speaker phone just so we could all participate in conversations with our various children.
“We’re here, Jim. What’s up?” Hayden asked.
“I’m sorry, Hayden, Marilyn. There’s been an incident at the campus. Brian and several others are in the hospital. He’s in critical condition.”
Marilyn gasped and I clutched her as Hayden carried on the conversation.
“What happened, Jim? We can be there in about five hours.”
“There was an active shooter on the campus. We haven’t been told the exact extent of the injuries. We know that Brian and Samantha are in critical condition. Sly and Lily are a mess. I’m afraid Lexi didn’t make it. There are others who are seriously injured. Dani, for one. Addison is being treated for bruises but her boyfriend is listed among the dead. And Anna, I haven’t been able to reach Bill and Crystal. Courtney was hit. My information is sketchy but she wasn’t on the critical list.”
“We’re on our way, Jim,” Hayden said. “University Hospital?”
“Yes. They’ll be expecting you. I’m sorry, Hayden. I wish I didn’t have to bring you this news.”
Hayden drove. Marilyn sat in the center seat and I sat beside her, wrapping her in my arms as she leaned heavily against Hayden.
“Lord God, please be with our son,” Hayden said. “I don’t know any other prayer.”
“Amen,” I whispered. “Keep us safe on the way to Bloomington.”
We were there in record time. My trip to Mishawaka when Denise died paled in comparison.
I can’t relive that day. Waiting for word that Brian was out of surgery. Finding that he’d died twice and been resuscitated. Waiting to be able to visit him when Sly and Bart and Sylvia found us and we all collapsed on the floor outside the ICU to beg God to save our children. Sitting with the parents of the clan, our tribe, and all supporting each other as we gathered in the cafeteria and took up our vigil.
I suppose no one really knows what went on that night. Certainly, none of our children do. Even those who were there. The parents—those of us with children who had been shot or injured—remembered every agonizing second. We remembered the waiting, the praying, the clinging to each other for emotional support. We remembered John Clinton and Saul Gordon holding our hands and praying with us. We remembered gathering in group hugs when the children who hadn’t been shot but were treated for trauma at the hospital were released into their parents’ care. Jennifer ran to me and cried in my arms. George, the big goofy guy, was still wrapped in his parents’ arms. TK in Tina’s arms with Ralph trying to wrap both of them up. Amber, her parents in Hawaii and unconcerned for her, pulled into Sly’s family’s hug and joined eventually by Dinita, John and Bea, Hayden, Marilyn, and me as we made sure she knew she had family here.
Those who could get into rooms to visit the seriously traumatized did so. We needed to be with Courtney. We needed to be with Addison, suffering physically from scrapes and bruises and emotionally from the news that her boyfriend’s actions had saved her life at the expense of his own. We needed to be with Samantha and thanked God that Sly had a sister and brother-in-law and niece there to help him and Lily through. Even Carl’s parents, Z and Cora, showed up when they found out Rich had been in the midst of the incident.
The incident. That’s all anyone would call it. We didn’t have words that would describe the unthinkable. A campus shooting. A terrorist attack. We simply held each other and prayed together and did our best through days in the hospital cafeteria, in sterile rooms, inside our own heads.
We were more determined than ever to move closer to our children. Marilyn and I stayed nearly full time at the ranch. As understanding as Hayden’s employer was, when it was clear that Brian was out of intensive care and off the critical list, he had to go back to work. Marilyn and I took turns sitting by Brian’s bed for three weeks before he finally woke up from his coma. We declined the master suite in the Big House because only one of us was there at a time to sleep. When he woke up, we took Dinita up on her invitation to stay with her.
Which brings us to another precious woman in our lives.
We loved—still love—the emergency room nurse who treated our children that Sunday afternoon and helped save their lives.
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