5/26/24
Consent in Fiction
This is number sixty-three in the blog series, “My Life in Erotica.” I encourage you to join my Patreon community to support my writing.
“IT’S JUST A STORY. Of course, no one would actually do that!”
Oh yeah? What I really want to say about this is that nothing is just a story anymore. I grant you that rational thinking human beings can distinguish between fact and fiction and identify when something is just a story for entertainment purposes only. I am doubting the prevalence of rational thinking human beings in our population.
How many “French Ticklers” were sold in truck stop restrooms, clearly marked “For Entertainment Purposes Only?” The packages went on to state “Not for the prevention of disease or pregnancy.”
“You have to use a condom.”
“Sure, I have one right here. You’ll like this.”
Nine months later…
May I remind you that L. Ron Hubbard’s series of science fiction books beginning with Battlefield Earth and including his pseudo-scientific opinion piece, Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health, spawned or gave legitimacy to the entire Church of Scientology?
No matter what genre you write in, you are responsible for what you’ve written. If you glorify “non-consensual sex,” you need to call it rape. You can’t hide behind a term that conceals what you mean. An “underage woman” is a child. Call her that. We wouldn’t have the blossoming of laws about depicting teens under the age of sixteen in sexual situations if there was no content that was irresponsible about this in the first place. (Content restriction for eBooks sold on Bookapy: No textual description of sexual acts or nudity of any character under 16 year old (the age of consent in Canada).)
So, I am a stickler about such mundane items as consent in fiction. I downloaded a free book some time ago to broaden my understanding of published erotica—A Time for Will by Libby Campbell. I was infuriated by the main principle that a dominant male can simply walk in and take over the lives of young women, enforcing his control with beatings, and the women will swoon over it. I couldn’t read past the fourth or fifth chapter, but unless one of those women sticks a knife in his back sometime soon, it is simply a false narrative glorifying a primitive man who expects women he encounters to simply obey him because he’s the man.
In the most popular series of my career, Living Next Door to Heaven, with over 2.1 million downloads, I presented a group of precocious teens who band together to form an agreement of what is acceptable and not acceptable behavior with each other. The intent was that signers of the agreement could safely date each other as they desired. In book two, The Agreement, the terms are spelled out.
The Group Dating Agreement
I will always treat everyone in the group fairly, equally, and with respect.
I will not be jealous of anything that anyone else does or engages in with anyone else in this group (male or female).
I will always receive the explicit consent of my partner(s) before engaging in any potentially sexual activity and will respond in compliance with their wishes.
I will always have the option of declining any advance of any kind from any partner and it will be honored.
One of the items most feared by the teens was that they would progress too fast and be pressured into behavior they didn’t really want to participate in. The agreement guaranteed every member the right to refuse any act without question, and the guarantee that no one would try something without asking first.
“May I kiss you?”
“On the cheek. It’s too soon for anything else.”
“Okay.”
It was easy! Or who can forget the sexiest words Brian says he ever heard:
“I give you explicit permission to touch me anyplace above my waist, inside or outside my clothing while we’re kissing.”
The Agreement and all ten books in the Living Next Door to Heaven saga are available on Bookapy.
If something as simple to understand as consent can’t be worked into your writing, why not? Is it because you don’t believe consent is necessary? Do you have telepathic powers that let you hold that conversation without speaking it? It is never too late to ask, give, or refuse consent.
Oh, but maybe that worked in my particular story of these particular teens, but it’s too cumbersome and unromantic to actually include explicit consent in a fiction story. We’ll just assume it.
No, you won’t assume consent in a mind-control story. You will explicitly rape the controlled person.
And if you are having trouble with consent—which many of us do because we never practiced it before—then we haven’t adequately explored ways of asking for consent.
I offered my lips to her and she met me with passion. (Silent consent and participation.)
“Let’s go to bed.” “Make me.” (Yes, that latter is explicit consent. There is a definite buy-in to the game.)
“You could pin my hands behind my back and kiss me any way you wanted and I’d just be helpless to resist.” (Not only consent, but explicit instructions on how to exercise it.)
There are thousands of ways to include consent in your erotica and other fiction. We have simply become so used to imposing our will or having another’s will imposed upon us that we forget that consent is mandatory. I return to the initial premise: Non-consensual sex is rape. It is not romantic, even if we think the victim enjoyed it.
In my Team Manager series, Dennis and his girlfriends/teammates establish just three rules: No means no. Never without protection. Never in front of the children (or parents). Easy rules the group could abide by. Coach Ardith was even more explicit.
“Let me be perfectly clear on this,” Ardith said. “‘No’ means no. ‘Stop’ means no. ‘I’m tired’ means no. ‘Not now’ means no. ‘I’m not sure’ means no. ‘I don’t know’ means no. ‘I’m not ready’ means no. ‘I’m not protected’ means no. ‘No’ does not mean ‘convince me.’ If it’s not a yes, it’s not consent. Does every single one of you understand this?”
Well? Do you?
This is probably the least popular rule I follow and promote in writing erotica. It is, however, one of the places in which writers of erotica can influence the shape of society. I’ve done nothing but rant this month. Next week, the rants continue with “Getting to They.”
Please feel free to send comments to the author at devon@devonlayne.com.
