Things I Never Told My Wife
True confessions of a Shakespearean actor
Chapter 14
I SAT IN MY OFFICE Tuesday afternoon daydreaming about the summer of bliss. I’d just had MaryJane, a student in my stage movement class, come in to talk about auditions for Two Gentlemen. She wanted to make sure she had chosen a good monologue. I gave her a bit of coaching on how to prepare for the audition, which I didn’t really think she needed but accepted very gratefully. Adoringly.
MaryJane wore a T-shirt and yoga pants. I was pretty sure that was all. I could clearly see rosy nipples through her thin white T-shirt, so I knew she was braless. I suspected there might be nothing under the yoga pants based on the camel toe she was displaying. I half expected her to ask for a condom and practice session.
And that set me thinking about the summer of bliss as I watched her delightful ass leave my office. What a summer that had been. And all the girls I’d had that year were younger than any of my students, so why shouldn’t I lust after the pretty young things? I guess I was really feeling the aftereffects of two weeks of sex with Abigail and Candy. Not that Daphne was slow in showing her pleasure in having me home. The past week before classes started, we spent a lot of time in bed. We had a new mother’s helper and she liked taking walks with the kids. She was an avid runner and took the two passenger baby jogger out for her runs. Daphne wasn’t at all opposed to a little afternoon delight when Rita left the house with the kids.
As I was remembering the way Liz and I got on in Glenwood Springs, I also started thinking about my job out there. I was Oppenheim’s assistant director. The first thing I’d learned was ‘cream and double sugar’ for his coffee. And Benson & Hedges 100s. Of course, now just about everywhere had a clean indoor air act in place and all smoking had to be done outdoors and at least ten yards away from any door. I was glad I’d never taken up the habit, though it had been close once or twice. CeeCee had said she didn’t like the taste in my mouth and that was the last cigarette I smoked.
I wondered if I was using El correctly as my AD. I’d come to depend on her for just about everything administrative in my office. As well as for daily visual stimulation. If I didn’t get my thoughts under control, I was going to need a stronger dance belt under my jazz pants.
“Hey, Terry. Coffee?” El came into the office and placed a Starbucks cup on the desk in front of me.
“Thanks, El. How’s your petty cash box holding up?”
“It’s the beginning of term, Terry. So far I’ve spent seven dollars of the fifty you put in it yesterday.”
“Yeah. I forgot. Thinking about the show. So, do you have the scenes copied that I want to have them read?”
“Got it. They’re at the copy center and should be ready for me to pick up first thing tomorrow morning. The Box is reserved from four till midnight until we leave for ACT. I’ve asked props to get us a few things for seats and levels. And Crab is sleeping under your desk.” I looked under my desk and saw the little harness and leash for the invisible dog. I needed to get used to that. I just hoped I had a good enough clown to pull off the role of Launce.
“Has anyone been in to take him for a walk?”
“Yeah. A couple of guys and one girl. Traci might actually have something.”
“Well, Shakespeare used boys to play the part of girls. I don’t see anything wrong with using a girl to play the part of a boy. She does move well.”
“Yeah. Even I like the way she moves and I’m totally hetero.”
Auditions were good if a bit long. I had seventy-five students trying out for thirteen roles, a few extras, and a dog. That last one was a surprise, but one of the guys wanted to audition for the part of Crab. He did a good job, too. I might have reconsidered the idea of using an invisible dog and casting the guy except for Traci’s audition with the leash and invisible dog.
Traci, I found out, was the product of a local youth theatre and had been to their six-week summer camp four times. Part of the training during camp had been clowning. Traci had studied her lines well and was most entertaining as she did Launce’s first monologue in Act II Scene Three. She delivered the lines well but really made the invisible dog visible. The dog tugged at its leash, pulling Launce off-balance at one point. At another, we could actually see the dog taking a piss on her shoe. Absolutely everyone was in stitches watching her audition.
“Traci, stay on stage, please. I’d like Mark to read the part of Panthino with you. El, scripts?”
“Gottem.”
El went to the stage and handed a page of lines to each actor. As soon as El turned her back, Traci dropped the script behind her. That was interesting. Mark started the scene and Traci was right there with the next line. The scamp had memorized the entire scene!
PANTHINO
Why dost thou stop my mouth?
LAUNCE
For fear thou shouldst lose thy tongue.
PANTHINO
Where should I lose my tongue?
LAUNCE
In thy tale.
PANTHINO
In thy tail!
LAUNCE
Lose the tide, and the voyage, and the master, and
the service, and the tied! Why, man, if the river
were dry, I am able to fill it with my tears; if the
wind were down, I could drive the boat with my sighs.
Crab was humping Panthino’s leg when Launce finally agreed to go. The invisible dog jerked him off stage as he danced on one foot. Traci and Crab would be show-stealers as sure as any live dog had been in the history of this play. I did notice one thing.
“Traci, is that our Crab?”
“Oh, no sir. This is Tramp. But he’s a born actor, sir. Disney had him for one picture and then cut him loose. When I found him, he’d wasted away till there was nothing left. But after we’d worked together for a while, I was sure he was ready to get back into the business. He’s played Lassie, Old Yeller, the Shaggy Dog, and Scooby-Doo. He’s very versatile and can play tragedy as well as comedy. He had to turn down the part of Benji because Disney wanted him back as Big Red.” She’d kept the accent she’d been using for Launce as she gave me this spiel. I could hardly keep a straight face.
“What are Tramp’s ambitions? More movies?”
“Tramp has fully made the transition to live theatre but there aren’t many roles available. A lot of actors won’t work with an animal because they always get upstaged. But what he’d really like to do is direct.”
I lost it, as did most of the people auditioning.
“Let’s take a fifteen minute break while I try to recover. You should all know that I’m casting Tramp in the role of Crab. Richard, don’t leave. I might have you understudy him. El, make a note. We have our first firm casting decision.”
The remaining two nights of auditions were not as fun as the first but good actors are good observers and they learned quickly what worked and why this play was still listed as a comedy instead of a late romance like The Tempest was. The big problem was that I had four women vying for the three roles of Sylvia, Julia, and Lucetta, and any one of them could play any of those roles—including Mary Jane. I was desperately looking for a place for the fourth woman. None of them was as good a clown as Traci but the logical place for another woman playing a man’s role was as Panthino, more of a straight man than Launce or Speed. Before I made the final decision, though, I wanted to try something else.
“Everyone on stage, milling around,” I called. I’d already talked to Traci about what I wanted and she’d agreed to do a little miming for me. I jumped up on the stage for the first time.
“This show will use a lot of extras,” I said. “And believe me when I say you will work hard as an extra. Possibly harder than the leads, even though you won’t have speaking lines. There will be outlaws, musicians, servants, and even townspeople. This is going to get physical. Let’s warm up a bit. El.” El jumped up beside me and took them through some stretches and exercises. That gave me an opportunity to simply walk around looking at people. After ten minutes I called a halt. El went to join the crowd.
“Everyone, look at Crab!” I shouted. Crab was at the end of his leash with one of Traci’s arms outstretched as she bounced an invisible ball for the dog. “People! Crab’s down here. You’re looking at Launce.” They got the idea and Crab began to move. You could see the anticipation in the quivering harness that represented the dog. I was pretty sure most people had focused on that point, finally. Then the dog moved and ran toward Launce, leaping into the air to catch the invisible ball. I saw exactly what I wanted to see as they all tracked the dog, even lifting their eyes when he jumped. He came back down and Traci took the ball from his mouth and wiped it off on her shirt. Crab went back to his ready position. This time, Launce bounced the ball toward the dog and we watched him leap into the air to catch it and trot back to Launce. Everyone was tracking. That was all I needed.
“Good! Thank you all for auditioning. You did a great job. The cast will be posted on the call board Monday morning at ten o’clock. We’ll have a read-through rehearsal Monday evening and everyone is invited to attend whether your name is on the cast list or not. If you don’t want a non-speaking extra role, Jim Mason wants you on the tech crew. Everyone else, I’ll see you Monday night.”
By the end of our first week of rehearsals, I was in serious lust for Traci. She was cute, sexy, talented, creative, and sexy. Did I mention that? She was also an eighteen-year-old student of mine. A freshman who would be around for another three years. One thing I’d been taught early on in my life was “Don’t poop in your kitchen.” There was absolutely nothing I could do about my lust but restrain it.
I hadn’t noticed her that much in my acting class the previous term. Yes, she was just as talented then as now. I think she was just as cute. By the second class, standard dress was leotard and tights for girls and T-shirt and sweats for boys. By the end of term, more of the guys had adopted the jazz pants like I’d worn. I should have known all about Traci’s figure and blooming sexuality but at the time I was having trouble focusing on anything but my TA. She was still one of the most beautiful and desirable women I knew. But other than occasional hugs and a kiss on the cheek when we’d worked hard on a project together, the same rule I’d imposed on myself kept my hands off her. Besides, hadn’t I once declared on CeeCee’s behalf, “If this is the kind of place where a director makes a pass at an actor’s girlfriend—or any cast member for that matter—then it’s the wrong place for me anyway.” Now I was that director.
I was having as much fun choreographing the extras as I was directing the principals. Dan Richardson, the music theatre director, even stopped by to watch what I was doing and offer a couple of suggestions. I appreciated the help. I’d also assigned each extra as a line coach for each of the speaking roles. That kept them involved in the language as well as the movement. By the time we were ready to move onto the stage at ACT, it was clear to everyone that we had a good show but Launce and Crab would steal it whenever they were on stage.
I was a little concerned about the sightlines in the thrust theatre. The audience rises sharply in tiers with balconies, so most of the audience looked down on the stage. I was mostly worried they wouldn’t grasp what was happening with the invisible dog. I didn’t need to worry. Traci adapted to the environment well and changed her routines slightly to be sure everyone got a clear view. She was in five scenes with two long monologues I had planned to cut down but I restored the cut lines just to let her run with them.
I already had plans for her next year in The Taming of the Shrew.
“Terry! Congratulations! Great opening night,” Jon said when he found me backstage after the show. “There’s always a cast reception in the lobby after opening night. Tell them to stay in costume. I think Launce is going to be mobbed.” He lowered his voice on that last bit as Traci was headed toward us.
“Is it true that we have to go out in costume?” she asked. “I’m so embarrassed!”
“Don’t be,” I said, putting an arm around her and giving a little hug. “You killed it tonight. It actually gave people something to laugh at in this comedy. Bring the dog.” She reached up and gave me a kiss on the cheek before she headed off to entertain the audience gathered in the lobby. I looked after her just as Daphne came up beside me.
“Someone has a cru-ush,” she sang in my ear.
“Oh, I don’t think so. She’s just floating after her performance tonight. It was her first college production.”
“I wasn’t referring to her,” Daphne laughed, giving me a dig in the ribs.
“Who?” I asked innocently. She just rolled her eyes at me.
“Come and feed me. They have food and drinks and this is the first night out I’ve had since you started directing this show.”
I fed her. I wed her. I bed her. Well, the wedding part had been accomplished some time back, but the other two were on the agenda for a long late night that night. I might—okay, did—have a bit of lust for another woman or two in my heart, but I let it all flow toward Daphne when we got home. The kids were at an overnight sitter so we could just enjoy the night. And we did.
I loved being able to freely play with Daphne’s breasts and suck at her nipples now that both kids were off the tit and on solid food. These beautiful boobs were mine again. And if a little less sensitive than they’d been before being turned into a breakfast bar, Daphne still loved to have me pay attention to them. They were softer than when we’d first gotten together, splaying out slightly when she lay on her back, but it was all about loving my wife and I loved it. The heat and moisture at Daphne’s center confirmed to me that she loved it, too, as I sank my rigid cock into her.
“I know you’re aging a little,” she said as we lay kissing after the encounter. “But how long before you think you can go again? I’m still horny.” I started working my way down her body. I found her little nub and began treating it to a good tongue lashing. “Oh, God, Terry. You didn’t have to do that. Oh, I’m glad you did!”
“Even when I can’t cut the mustard, I can still lick the pot,” I declared.
“After I come the next time, I’m going to discuss your choice of metaphors,” she panted as I kept her on edge with my tongue. By the time she’d had that next orgasm, though, I was hard and ready to go. She rolled me onto my back and mounted up for a rousing cowgirl ride and we both reached another climax before we were too tired to go on.
We did fall asleep that night but the novelty of being in a house with no children woke us both up early and we went at it again.
As soon as we were in the second week, Dan started auditions for Evita. I figured I could learn something by watching a bit of the audition. I certainly don’t know everything about directing and Dan had been kind enough to offer some hints on the choreography for Gentlemen. I wanted to watch how he worked and would observe a few of his rehearsals as well.
What I learned was what an incredible voice El had as she sang ‘Don’t Cry for Me, Argentina.’ The movie had come out a couple of years earlier and Madonna had nothing on El. Casting her was a slam dunk for Dan.
We closed the show on the next Saturday night and the cast all went to Jon’s house for the cast party. Daphne and I did not plan for big parties when we bought the little house in Magnolia. We would never have been able to afford a place the size of Jon’s. His wife, Amy, greeted us all as we got there, carpooling with as many people as had cars. El claimed the shotgun in my car. Daphne begged off coming to the party, saying we’d used up our free babysitter pass the week before. And she told me in no uncertain terms not to wake her up when I got home.
Lots of beer flowed from the keg and I could see problems getting students back to campus if they were drunk.
“Jon, we can’t let the kids drive if they aren’t sober.”
“Or you either if you choose to imbibe too much. I have taxi vouchers here and have already collected keys as people came in. From everyone but you.” He held out his hand for mine. I handed them over.
“I think one beer is all I need tonight,” I laughed. “But I’ll obey the rules.”
“I’ll give them back if you are sober when you’re ready to leave. And Amy has a wide selection of soft drinks, juices, sparkling cider, and God knows what else. I wouldn’t put it past her to have cherry Kool-Aid in the fridge.”
“I try to be a team player but I draw the line at drinking the Kool-Aid,” I laughed.
I wandered off to join the cast and crew as they unwound from the show. I half expected to see Traci with her invisible dog but when I spotted her, she had a ferret on her shoulder. She absently reached up to stroke its fur and it curled around her neck, lifting its head to kiss her ear. Lucky animal. Then I got to thinking about where her ferret had been during the performance. There certainly wasn’t one in the dressing room.
“What do you have there, Traci?” I asked.
“This is Roscoe. He’s usually in one of my bags. He’s really comforting when I get stressed. You can pet him if you want.” I reached over and stroked the animal’s soft fur. It curled toward me and I suddenly realized it wasn’t an animal at all. It was a very realistic stuffed doll. It was done in such a way that stroking it caused it to curl in different directions. Traci started laughing when she saw my expression. “Gotcha!”
“You sure did. Are you thinking of making clowning and puppets into a career?”
“I don’t know yet. I’m only eighteen… for another month… so, I don’t feel any urgent need to decide the direction of my career. It will be performing in some way or another.”
“What skills you don’t have yet, we’ll get you while you are at school here. And if you want training that we aren’t officially offering, tell me and I’ll find a way for you to get it. You’ve got an amazing talent and I want to see it developed to its fullest.”
“Thank you, Terry. You’re the sweetest.” She reached up and kissed my cheek for the second time that evening. “You can pet my ferret any time,” she whispered. I shivered. And then made my way over to where some of the kids were singing as one played the guitar.
“That was really nice of you, Terry,” a soft voice whispered in my ear. I turned to find El leaning on me. She had a glass of bubbly but I didn’t know if it was champagne or one of the other sparkling beverages. I touched my beer bottle to her glass.
“Salut, assistant director. Here is to your transition to leading lady.”
“I’m already beginning to hate Andrew Lloyd Webber. Does he have to make all his music so difficult?”
“There are plenty of other reasons to hate him if you find a simple piece.”
“At least I’m not trying to sing Christine from Phantom. I think you’d have to hospitalize me,” she laughed.
“Color me impressed regardless. I had no idea you had such an incredible voice.”
“I know. You thought I was just tits and ass. Your very own TA. And lately you haven’t even been looking at those!”
“I try not to openly ogle my students. But the first day I met you, it was difficult not to notice that first.”
“I was teasing then. I’m not anymore.” She slipped away before I could completely grasp what she said.
The party broke up not much later. It’s hard for even college students to stay awake after they’ve performed Shakespeare for a few hours and had a couple of beers. I noticed Jon had a breathalyzer at the door and wouldn’t give any student his keys unless he passed a test. I stepped up to take a turn. He handed me my keys.
“I’ve been watching you. I know how much you had to drink.”
“Watching me?”
“Just to make sure my opinion of you was correct. Congratulations. Drinking was not the only test you passed.” I wasn’t quite sure what to make of that but didn’t have a chance to respond before El came running up.
“Terry, can you give me a lift back to campus?”
“Sure, El. Let’s get rolling. I’m shot.”
We got in the car and continued talking about Evita and her title role in the musical.
“I probably won’t be in the office as much between now and the end of term. I’ll check every day, though, so if you need something just leave me a note. You’ll probably need to get your own coffee, though. Dan has slated me for voice coaching with Kim McGuire in the mornings.”
“I think I can handle it. I’ll miss you, though.”
“Same here. I’ll try to wear something you can ogle at least once a week.”
I pulled up in front of student housing and turned to her.
“El, don’t…” She cut me off by leaning across the console and pulling my face to her for a kiss that showed me some of her other talents. Maybe not the number one kisser I’d ever experienced but I went from limp to hard in 0.9 seconds.
“I know you can’t do anything with me while I’m a student and your TA,” she whispered. “But I graduate in eight weeks. Goodnight, Terry.” She kissed my shocked lips again and we slid across each other’s tongue for a minute before she opened the car door and ran to the dorm.
On the way home, I stopped at Taco Bell to make sure my mouth didn’t taste like the girl I’d just kissed, just in case Daphne was up when I got home. It was nearly two in the morning, so I doubted it but…
Evita was the first two weekends in May and school was out the following weekend. PCAD had a tradition of a closing gala the night before graduation. It was a dressy thing and students often went all out. Art work was displayed in galleries and walls and the auditorium had a non-stop program of fashion, music, dance, and theatre excerpts. Both El and Traci performed from their respective shows. Both were as well-appreciated in the excerpt as they’d been in the performances. I wore a suit and tie but Daphne had complained that she didn’t like dressy things unless it was tuxedo and ball gown for a visit by the queen. I made my official appearance and talked to the right people.
I’d looked at all the displays and saw all the performances I needed to, so I was heading toward the door.
“Wanna get lucky?” a voice whispered next to me as hands took hold of my arm. I spun toward the voice and saw El grinning at me.
“El…”
“I’m twenty-two years old, sober, and no longer a student. Tell me you don’t want me, Terry.” How the fuck could I tell her that? I tried a different tack.
“You’re very desirable, El. You know that. I’m not going to take you for a quickie in the back of the station wagon.”
“Thank you, though that would be okay. I have a place. I’ll let you drive. Let’s go.”
I glanced up and down the hall and saw no one. I was headed out one of the rear entrances of the performance hall and had long since left the noise and bustle of the gala behind me. I let El guide me to the door and unlocked the car. I got in and started the car before looking at her.
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
“Terry, kiss me.” She leaned toward me and I kissed her. There was no question in my mind that I was going to fuck this girl as soon as I could get her clothes off. “Now drive up to Capitol Hill and I’ll show you my new apartment.”
“When did you get an apartment?”
“When one of my friends called me to say she was going to Europe for a month and would I housesit her apartment and feed her cats. All I had to do was say yes. She left a week ago.” She directed me to an old brick apartment building just off Denny and I found a place to park. Then she led me to the apartment with her bare legs swishing the short skirt of her party dress back and forth.
As soon as we were through the apartment door, El’s arms were around my neck and her lips were against mine. The passion in our kiss built until we heard a plaintive ‘maiow’ and felt a cat rubbing against our legs. For a second I thought Traci had slipped in with us and was manipulating one of her puppets. But these were real purring and complaining cats and El pulled back laughing.
“Great timing, huh? Skip and Tag are sweethearts but they do crave attention. I’ll get them some kibble and then we can get back to what we were doing.” She bent in front of me to scoop up the two kitties and I couldn’t help running my hand up her bare leg. Then there were three purring. “Give me a minute and you can do all of that you want to.”
Just having stroked up El’s bare leg made this all real and my cock suddenly hard. And true to her word, El was back in a minute sans cats. She took my jacket and tossed it on the sofa then led me by the hand to the bedroom.
“Please help with my zipper?” she said turning her back to me so I could unzip the dress. As I did, I planted a long row of kisses down her spine all the way to her tailbone. She turned toward me with the dress still clinging to her shoulders and removed my tie and unbuttoned my shirt. Then she left a row of kisses down my chest and stomach while she loosened my belt and unfastened my trousers. I let the shirt fall off my arms and she pushed my trousers to the floor. Then she slid up my body, leaving her dress in a puddle behind her. El Fucking Andrews was rubbing her beautiful young tits against my chest. I managed to kick my shoes off before I disentangled my feet from my pants and picked her up to carry to the bed.
The dress had been all she was wearing.
I petted her breasts and she pushed my shorts down past my erection.
“Shit! Condom!” I said. “I don’t have one on me.”
“No. It’s bare naked. That’s how I like it. I’ve got an IUD and am disease free. Are you disease free, Terry?”
“Well, yes but…”
“Then please get between my legs and use this rod to part the waters of my swamp.”
“You think I’m Moses parting the waters with my rod?”
“Oh! What a great idea for a porn video! Want to make one with me? No? Then please, fuck me good and fuck me now.”
With that kind of encouragement, I sank slowly into El. I felt every steamy inch of her pussy open to envelop me. She elevated her hips and put her hands down to move into a bridge and I started pushing in and pulling out of her. Supported on just her feet and her hands with her back a good six inches off the bed, it was almost like an inverted doggy style. I could reach forward and play with her breasts while I rose on my knees to fuck her. It was exquisite. Every fantasy I had since the day I met her played out in front of me. She orgasmed with her back arched up even higher and then dropped off my dick and scrambled around to present her ass to me. She wiggled her butt as I returned to fucking her pussy. Each time I bounced off her beautiful round butt, my balls slapped against her clit. El reached under herself and I could feel her diddling herself as I continued to slam into her. And then it was there. I ran my hands up and down her beautiful back, gripped her hips to pull her against me, and started firing into her bare pussy. I had two good shots in her before she started stiffening and clamping down on my cock in her own orgasm.
We managed one more that night and I got to hold those tits and ass that I’d dreamed of so often as she sat at the second desk in my office. I’d fucked my TA and she had fantastic T&A.
Of course, I never told my wife about that.
Comments
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