Things I Never Told My Wife
True confessions of a Shakespearean actor
Chapter 11
“I KNOW YOU SAID ‘sooner rather than later’ but I didn’t expect it this soon! Are you okay?” I asked.
“Um, yeah. I guess I’m super fertile and you’re super potent. I’ll just grin and bear it. Do me a favor and get ’em snipped before he’s born. Okay? I don’t want to quit having sex just so I don’t get preggers again.”
“Daphne…” I pulled my wife into my arms with our little daughter on our lap. Little Shelly. Three months old and already expecting a brother. Or sister, I suppose. Funny how we just assumed it would be one girl and one boy. But two kids less than a year apart. Wow! We’d waited after birth until Daphne had had her first period, like the doctor said to. And then I drilled another kid into her. “I love you like crazy. We have the sweetest little girl I could ever imagine. I’m sure the next one will be just as sweet and lovable. But what can I do to help you? I can cook and do laundry. I could hire us a housekeeper to clean once a month. We can get a nanny if you want. What can I do?”
“You’ve always been thoughtful, Terry. You do help around the house and cook sometimes. I suppose a housekeeper once a week would be nice. But no nanny. I love being a mommy. Um… I guess there’s one thing.”
“Tell me. I’ll try to make it happen.”
“Well, until Shelly was born, I kept working part time. I thought I’d be going back this month. Can I… Can we afford it if I quit working and become a stay-at-home mom? There are so many things I could do with our children. I really don’t want to give them to someone else to care for.”
“Of course we can. I’m making better money now than ever. I thought you were working because you wanted to be out of the house. You don’t need to have a job if you don’t want one.”
“I did want to get out of the house. You’re right. But now, I’ve got a different reason and different places to go. The moms from our birth class all get together once a week with our babies. They’re really too little to play together, but it’s so sweet to see them sleeping next to each other while we gossip and drink coffee. Soon there will be more active playdates, Gymboree, preschool, and other activities. And I’ll have two babies to do them with. If I can do this, I’ll be so happy your cock will think you died and went to heaven.”
“Honey, my cock has thought that since the first time I sank into you without a condom,” I laughed. Daphne’s sexual appetite hadn’t abated either during pregnancy or after. Even during the time when we weren’t having intercourse, there was a lot of oral going on. The only thing I really missed was her tits. I still played with them and squeezed them and kissed them. I loved playing with her nipples, though, and sucking on her. Now if I did that, I got a mouthful of milk and she’d push me away with a comment like, ‘Don’t eat all Shelly’s dinner.’ I did love tits.
We agreed and Daphne went in to the costume shop to show off the baby and tell everyone she was quitting. They had a big party for her. She’d been working part time there for more than ten years. From then on, her involvement in theatre was limited to attending openings of my shows and the gala following. Daphne’s parents might have been cool toward me, but they loved little Michelle and were excited about having a second grandchild, but had put their house on the market so they could move to Arizona. They delayed the move until Christmas.
We went back to Ohio at Christmas so the parents could see the baby and get the news that a second was in the oven cooking. My parents were thrilled but my sister was a little jealous.
“We were waiting two years before I got pregnant again,” she sighed. “You could have at least warned me so we could get screwing.”
“I hope you didn’t stop just so you wouldn’t get pregnant.”
“Not exactly but…” Lisa’s little girl was sixteen months old and wanted down so she could cruise the Christmas tree. “Bob hasn’t been as interested since Yvonne was born. Every time he looks at me, it’s like he’s looking at the beached whale I was when I was pregnant. I’ve tried to take the weight off, but if I retain as much after a second baby as I did after the first, he’ll never look at me again. Even three months pregnant, Daph looks the same as she did when we first met her.”
That was true. Daphne’s body was elastic. By the time we started screwing a month after the birth, she was tight and firm. Except her boobs. They seem to have grown a few sizes. I talked to Daphne about what my sister had said.
“If her husband isn’t interested, she needs to go out and get laid by someone else. That’s what I’d do,” she declared. Well, that let me know where I stood. If I ceased to be interested in my wife, she’d find someone who was. I sure wasn’t going to let that happen if I could help it.
That decision was taken out of my hands not long after. This pregnancy was a lot harder than the first. By the end of the second trimester, Daphne was exhausted and the doctor put her on bed rest. Her infamous sex drive dropped to zero in a week. In a month, she didn’t want to be touched at all and even my blowjobs stopped.
I was at a fitting in the costume shop for my next show—a musical comedy in which I was a gangster. That included a black pinstripe double-breasted suit, black shirt, and white tie, and various gangster accoutrements and places to hide them in my costume. Ashland isn’t known for musical comedy and if you haven’t figured this one out, ‘Brush Up Your Shakespeare.’ I’d had to wait until after my performance to make it to the costume shop and most people were leaving.
“Hey, big boy. Give me a kiss and we’ll get started.” I happily gave Pam a kiss and she pushed me into the changing room with our tongues still tied together. “Put this on and then come out so I can mark the alterations,” she said, pointing at the suit on a rack. Then she reached over and stroked my cock, which had risen rapidly during the kiss. “I’ll have to figure out how to hide this.”
It took a lot longer for Pam to mark the alts than it took for her keep stroking my cock up to full stiffness as I stood on the little pedestal. I wasn’t complaining. It had been a month since anyone had paid attention to junior. I looked around the shop and saw most of the lights were off and everybody but us was gone. Pam got me down off the pedestal and shoved me toward the changing room.
“Just one more thing,” she said as she followed me into the little room and closed the door. “Take off the costume.” I pulled off the jacket and shirt, curious about Pam being in the room to take each item and carefully hang it on the rack. She turned toward me and pointed at the trousers. I shrugged and pulled them off. “Now let me take care of this,” she said as she knelt on the floor in front of me. In a second, she had my briefs around my ankles and my cock down her throat. I started pumping into her mouth almost immediately. It was so good! I hadn’t come in a month. It felt so good to spray my seed into her willing mouth. I collapsed back onto the chair to catch my breath.
When I opened my eyes, Pam was standing naked in front of me. I mentioned that we’d dated a few times early on. I’d seen her naked before, but not in a few years. She hadn’t changed a bit. She didn’t say anything else. She stepped up to the chair and put a leg over my shoulder so I could lick her pussy. Pam didn’t shave anything so I needed to part her pussy hair in order to get my tongue on her clit. Since I had a hand right there with the other holding her butt, I slipped a finger up inside her. Pam ramped up almost as fast as I had and moaned out a sweet orgasm. She pulled her leg back down from my shoulder and looked down between us. My cock was right there and showing it was fully recovered. She reached down and lined it up before sinking down on me.
“Oh, God! You are as good as I remembered,” she moaned.
“You’re even better than I remembered,” I said before I captured one of her nipples between my lips and began lashing it with my tongue. Pam bounced on me, moaning out another orgasm before I lost control and started spraying her insides. She collapsed forward into my arms and we kissed. “Thank you,” I whispered.
“Any time. Literally, any time.” I kissed her again and held her close. She jumped up and away from me, looking down between her legs. “Oh, shit! I didn’t intend for you to come in me. Damn it!”
“I didn’t even think about it,” I said. I could tell this was serious.
“It’ll be okay,” she sighed as she used a tissue to scoop out what she could of my come. “It’s almost my time of month and I’m really deep anyway. I’m pretty sure you didn’t reach anything. Next time, though, bring a condom.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It was my fault. I planned to jump off before you came and I got carried away. It just felt so good. It’ll be okay.” We got dressed, in a little more somber a mood but Pam kissed me deeply when I walked her to her car. “Any time,” she whispered again.
Ashland is not particularly prone to gossip about the theatre people. I think they feel a little protective of us. So, I was pretty confident that when I bought a pack of condoms at the pharmacy, no one would bat an eye or mention it to anyone. I probably wasn’t even recognized by the pharmacist who rang up the sale.
Two months later, after several late-night fucks with Pam, I had a vasectomy like Daphne had suggested. She laughed.
“What makes you think you’ll ever need that again after what I’ve just been through. But thank you for your consideration. I think you should take me to the hospital now. My contractions are fifteen minutes apart.” I loaded Daphne and Michelle into the Volvo and got to the hospital in plenty of time. I called her parents to let them know the time was near and they thanked me politely and hung up. They were so reserved. My parents screamed when I called them the next day to tell them they had a grandson, William Costas Reichert. We’d decided to give our children the same middle name, which was Daphne’s maiden name. I couldn’t reach Mr. and Mrs. Costas in Arizona even though I tried all day.
“Where’s our grandson?” a voice from the door said. I turned, surprised to find Mr. and Mrs. Costas standing there.
“He’s the one on the left tit, Dad. Shelly’s still sucking the right one,” Daphne said. Mom Costas rushed to the bedside and gently removed my sleeping son from Daphne’s tit. She cradled him in her arms with such a look of bliss that I hardly recognized her as the same woman. And Dad Costas was right there with her, cooing over the baby and making faces.
“We just knew you were going to need help after this one,” Mom said. “I know there isn’t room in your house for us, so we’re staying with the Jordans. I’ll help as much as I can. You’ve been on bedrest for two months. You can’t expect to be jumping up and down for the next two weeks.”
“Mom, that’s so sweet of you. Terry takes really good care of me.”
“It’s obvious how good care he took. Two children in a year? Keep it in your pants for a while,” Dad Costas said.
“Don’t worry, Daddy. We have that resolved,” Daphne said. I wasn’t sure if she was referring to my vasectomy or to her statement that I wouldn’t be needed any longer.
It was actually okay to have Daphne’s parents around for a couple of weeks. Her mom was very helpful. I had a notice in at the school that we were looking for a ‘mother’s helper’ and we interviewed three applicants. Jodie, the girl we hired, was a plump and jovial girl who doted on both children. She worked after school for three hours each day so Daphne could get a nap or cook. I picked up more of the cooking after her parents left.
Dad Costas had less to keep him occupied than Mom during those two weeks. As a result, he hung around the theatre quite a bit. I got him to volunteer as an usher and he got in to see all the shows that way. But it put a bit of a damper on my extramarital activities with him waiting for me after each show.
I was finishing in the dressing room when Pam walked in. That wasn’t unusual. Costumers were as at home in the dressing rooms as the actors. Male or female.
“Terry, I need to talk to you.”
“I’m sorry, Pam. With the new baby and Daphne’s parents here, I just can’t come and see you.”
“I know. That’s fine. I just needed to tell you that I’m pregnant.” Everything came crashing down on me. Literally. I sagged against a costume rack and it tipped with me under it.
“Shit! I’m sorry.” I yelled it out so loudly that everyone figured I was apologizing for the rack of clothes. People gathered around and started picking up and hanging costumes as I picked myself up.
This was a complete violation of our agreement. Daphne had said she’d better not hear about any of my affairs. This was my first time having one and there was no way I’d keep having a child with another woman secret from her. I wondered if I’d at least get visiting rights with my children. Then I remembered Daphne saying she didn’t believe in divorce. She believed in murder. Shit. Shit. Shit.
“Terry, take it easy,” Pam whispered to me. The other actors were filing out of the dressing room talking about going out for a drink. “I’ve already decided what to do. I’m going to have an abortion. I just thought you should know. You don’t need to help or anything. I can handle it.”
“Pam… Are you sure?” I confess that when she said she was having an abortion that seemed to lift a heavy weight off of me. But could I live with that? It was a terrible thing to consider.
“I’m sure. Now get out of here. Your father-in-law is waiting outside.”
“Let me know when and I’ll go with you.”
“Thank you, Terry.” She put a little kiss on my cheek. “Now go.”
Dad Costas was in rare form that night. He was outside the dressing room singing ‘Brush up your Shakespeare’ and practicing dance steps.
“Are you trying to put me out of work?” I asked as I approached him.
“Oh, God no. That’s just such a funny show. You know, in our retirement village there are all kinds of social activities. I think I’ll do this for the next talent show. What do you think?”
“With a little practice you could take my place.”
“Let’s go get a drink. Mom and I are leaving back to Arizona Monday. This might be the last chance I get to toast my son-in-law for a while.” Toast? Maybe he meant roast. Apparently, what he was saying was that he’d finally accepted me. I hoped he’d never find out I stepped out on his daughter.
We hit the usual late-night bar and had a couple scotches like old friends.
“I’ve never mentioned this, Terry, and I know we’ve come off as a little cool about you being with Daphne. We lived here in Ashland all Daphne’s life. We saw actors all the time and knew what they were up to. Frankly, I didn’t expect your relationship to last a year. But you’ve done well. I’m proud you’re my son-in-law.”
“Thank you, Dad.” I felt like the world’s lowest schmuck.
“There is one thing I’m thinking, though. Acting is all fine and good, but don’t you think you should find a real job soon? You’ve lasted at Ashland longer than most already. You should think about where you want to live and find a job there, not randomly move from place to place because you can get a gig.” He held up his hand to stop me from responding. “I know. This is the life you chose and you’re good at it. No one is saying anything different. Just think about what I said. Maybe you could find a job teaching theatre. That would still give you time to get on stage in the summers, at least.”
I just nodded my head. We raised our glasses in a toast again and then stumbled home.
Bill was born in July and I spent a lot of the month trying to keep Daphne cool. We had fans running in almost every room and I got a window air conditioner for the bedroom. Of course, that meant the ‘poor babies’ moved into our bedroom as well. That meant that Jodie had free access to our room when she was tending the babies, too. It all made it hard to catch that needed afternoon nap. Even when Daphne started feeling like her old self, having our children in the same room put a bit of a damper on things. I know in some cultures it wouldn’t make a bit of difference, but Daphne and I weren’t raised that way.
The first of August, I drove Pam to a clinic in Medford and sat with her while a doctor removed the fetus. We stopped at a roadside park on the way back home and cried on each other’s shoulders. We agreed that our affair was over.
Don’t let anyone tell you that women who have an abortion are happy about it. We didn’t regret it, but we mourned it. I carried that image around in my head for years after and I know Pam was depressed for months. Abortion sucked, no matter what made it necessary.
Of course, I never told my wife about that.
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