Art Something
5
First Day of School
SCHOOL STARTED MONDAY and I made it out the door on time. That was partly because Annette offered to drive. It was okay for me to be late—I didn’t care—but, like with Fay, I wouldn’t make Annette late. People noticed us. We held hands as we walked from the parking lot to the school and she gave me a soft kiss before we went inside. Inside the school, of course, there was no kissing and no hand-holding. People still looked at us as we found our lockers. My face was hot.
“It’s too bad we don’t have any classes together,” Annette sighed as she leaned against the locker next to mine. “At least we have the same lunch period.”
“Lunch. Oh. I forgot to bring lunch.”
“No, you didn’t. Your mother handed it to me when I knocked on the door to pick you up. Don’t worry. It’s in my locker. It’s a nice day out, so maybe we can take lunch out to the bleachers, okay?”
“We can do that?”
“Of course, we can. People do it all the time. Meet me here after fourth period. We’ll grab sodas from the machine.”
I just stood and stared at her as she walked away. She’s so pretty. This weekend had been so much fun.
“Hey, dude. You look whipped,” a guy said as he closed the locker beside mine. “What class you got this period?”
“Um… Physics.”
“Me, too. Carlson’s an okay guy. I had him for Chemistry last year. The class is this way.” I didn’t know who the guy was, but we had the same class, so I followed him as he continued to talk. We found the classroom and settled in for the first day of school. The class was predictable. Mr. Carlson handed out the syllabus and textbooks. That was going to be a bitch to carry around. I saw a lot of the girls were pulling little suitcase-like things. Fay had one. I wondered if she took it to college with her. I’d have a sore back in no time if all my classes had this size book and I carried them in a backpack.
The guy I’d walked to class with snapped his fingers in front of my face.
“Huh?”
“We’re supposed to be lab partners,” he said. “Are you always so out of it?”
“Uh, no. I’m just having a little difficulty adjusting to being back in school. I’m usually pretty attentive. Who are you?”
“See, that’s what I mean. I just introduced myself and you didn’t hear anything I said. Rob Reichert. And you’re like Art Something, right?”
“Yeah.” He waited like I was supposed to say more. “Nobody ever remembers my last name anyway. Just Art will do.”
“Okay, Just Art. Let’s look at the first experiment so we know what materials we’ll need for lab tomorrow.” He sounded a little disgusted at having been saddled with a dweeb, but I buckled down and focused on the assignment so I wouldn’t seem like a jerk. Like my ride in the morning, I didn’t care about my own grade, but it was wrong to make someone else suffer for it. We had two more classes together but he wasn’t in my art class. We met again at our lockers before lunch.
“You going to the lunchroom, Art?” he asked.
“No. My, um… girlfriend and I are eating on the bleachers outside. I think.”
“You’re lucky. She’s a nice girl. Hope I find someone this year,” he said. Annette handed me my sack lunch.
“Oh. Annette, this is Rob. Rob, my girlfriend Annette,” I said. Their eyes met and I could almost see the spark. There went my girlfriend. I just knew they’d get together and I’d be without.
“Are you keeping track of my guy today, Rob?” Annette said.
“Didn’t intend to, but we’ve got a few classes together.”
“Well, if you’re his friend, you’re mine. We’re going to the bleachers outside while the weather’s still decent. You can join us if you want,” Annette said.
“Thanks. I’m buying my lunch today. Maybe next time.”
“Sure.”
We walked outside. I tried to remember if I’d ever been outside during a school day. At least ever since we had recess in grade school. There were a lot of kids out there, including some who were playing flag football out on the field. We found a spot and opened our lunches.
“It’s nice that you met a new friend,” Annette said. A green flare of jealousy streaked across the canvas of my mind.
“I knew you’d like him. He’s just your type,” I growled. I don’t remember ever feeling like this before.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I saw the way you looked at each other. He’ll probably call you tonight. Don’t worry. I can get up early enough to make the bus in the morning.”
“You’re dumping me?”
“I’m not dumping you.”
“It sure sounds like it.”
“I just know that I don’t have anything to offer. Rob is smart—maybe not genius like you, but smart—and he’s good looking. He can talk. Why would you stay with me? I can’t even… I want… The words…” Fuck! The more I thought about it, the more it seemed like it was already a done deal. I couldn’t even tell her how I felt. It made me mad to think of him touching Annette’s breasts and kissing her. I was struggling, but I could feel a tear escape from my eye.
“Arthur, look at me,” she snapped. I didn’t want to face her, but I followed her demand and turned. There were tears in her eyes and mascara running down her cheeks. She pointed at her face. “This is real. This is life. This, Arthur. I am not running off with some random guy I just met. He seemed nice. Why? He was looking out for you. I ran back after I left you this morning because I was afraid you wouldn’t get to class. I saw him talking to you and pointing the direction. I was so relieved. I like him because he likes you.”
“But I’m nothing.”
“You are not nothing. You are the one. Remember? Remember when I told you I was the one who would discover real life with you? It goes two ways. You are the one I’ve chosen to discover real life with and to discover dreams with. The only way you can lose me is to shove me away like you’re doing right now. Don’t do that, Arthur. Don’t shut me out and push me away. We’ve only begun.”
“Really? I didn’t mean to push you away, but it seemed so apparent. Annette, you’re beautiful, smart, funny, and… and… everything. You could have anyone.”
“And who did I choose?”
“Me?”
“Arthur, I don’t just let boys kiss me and feel me up then run to another boy. Look at me and say you won’t push me away or shut me out. There is so much more than just high school romance at stake,” she sobbed.
I put my arms around her and hugged. She wrapped her arms around me and squeezed just as hard.
“I won’t. I won’t shut you out. I promise. Help me.” We sat back from each other and I fished a handkerchief out of my pocket to give to her. We were still on school grounds and we’d pushed our PDA as far as we dared.
“After school,” she whispered. “When we get to your house, I’ll kiss you. I’ll kiss you and make you believe me. I hope you don’t have too much homework tonight.”
Mom said ‘Hi,’ and offered us a snack when we got home. We spent a couple minutes telling her about the first day of school, but she started squinting and turning her head. She waved her hand at us and we ran up to my room.
I was ten when we moved into this house. Dad had just gotten tenure at the University. It was a brand new house in a new neighborhood. The original design was for Fay and me to have bedrooms on either side of an open play area, but Dad altered the floor plan and the builder split the play area between our rooms so I’d have more space to paint in my room and Fay would have more space for clothes. So, my bedroom was bigger than most kids my age had. It was even bigger than the sleeping area of my parents’ room, but they had a sitting/dressing room and en suite bath. Our bathroom was in the hall, between the sitting room and my bedroom.
Annette and I had our shirts off and lay on the bed kissing and touching each other. Our passion cooled as we reaffirmed our commitment and apologized for the blow up at lunch. Eventually, Annette pushed me up.
“Paint it,” she said softly. “I’ll stay here for inspiration or reference, but you experienced real life today. Paint it.” I nodded. This was what she promised. I don’t know what moved me, but as I got off the bed, I bent and kissed one of her nipples. She gasped. Even with our skin touching, the only place we’d ever kissed was on each other’s faces and neck. It gave her a real jolt and she started panting as she pushed me toward the easel. It gave me a jolt, too. I had to adjust my pants. I thought I’d like to kiss those nipples some more.
Painting this new dreamscape was a strange experience. I had to call it a dreamscape because I was trying to capture the whole event in one picture. The happiness of seeing Annette. The instant flare of jealousy. Sinking into loss. Anger. Sorrow. Reconciliation. Commitment. And at last, the jolt. I was glad I didn’t attempt this painting while I was still solely in any of those stages. It would have been much different and more difficult.
“Do you know what I see?” Annette said as she pounced on the picture. “I mean, I can read the story. I see all the different emotions we went through today. And, yes, I went through most of them, too. You weren’t alone. But there is something else here.” She pointed her finger and traced a flow through the painting. I stood behind her with my arms wrapped around her, not trying to grope her chest, but not avoiding touching her. “Insecurity. Doubt. Fear. That’s what all those other emotions are, Arthur. You don’t believe in me. You don’t believe in Morgan. You don’t believe in yourself. I can’t wave my magic breasts over you and fix that. But I’ll be here to help you fix it. I’ll do everything I can to help you believe.”
Comments
Please feel free to send comments to the author at devon@devonlayne.com.
