Triptych
Part I
One
IT WAS SATURDAY at 2:15 p.m. when we pulled up in front of Lissa’s house after four days of travel. We were home.
The trip from Nebraska to Seattle had taken three-and-a-half days, towing a damn U-Haul trailer behind us. Thursday, we’d taken a detour to see Mount Rushmore and the Crazy Horse Memorial, which meant we didn’t make it nearly as far on our second day out. But it was worth it. We pushed hard on Friday and got to the big city of Wallace, Idaho.
We were pretty excited to make the last 350 miles into Seattle and were up earlier on Saturday than we’d been any day so far. We were tired, but happy to be home.
“Tony? Why are you parking on the street? We need to unload the car and trailer,” Lissa said when I turned the car off.
“Yeah. That’s just it. I haven’t backed up this trailer since that awful morning in Wyoming,” I said. “I’m so tired, I don’t think I could get it out of the driveway if I pulled in.”
“Poor baby,” Melody said. “Let’s go in and make a cup of coffee. Then we can start unloading.”
I grinned at my two… That was funny. I couldn’t think of either of them as girlfriends anymore. We’d passed that stage. We couldn’t get married—all three of us. They were just beginning to accept gay marriage in this state. It would still be a few centuries before they got around to polygamy. But these were my wives. There wasn’t any other way I could think of them. I’d made a lifelong commitment to them. They were my life.
I rushed up to the door to prevent anyone from entering as Lissa unlocked the door.
“Wait,” I said. “Don’t go in. I’d like to propose something.”
“Sure Tony,” Lissa said. “What?”
“Remember when Rev. Larkin blessed us in my room back in Nebraska?” I asked.
“That was so sweet,” Melody said. Lissa nodded. She was already grinning.
“I’d like to propose that we mark July 4 as our official anniversary. I know there were first dates and first time we made love and first time we were all together, and when we gave each other jewelry. But I’d like a real anniversary for when we were all three…”
“…committed,” Lissa supplied. “Well, being committed sounds strange. When we were blessed.” It was my turn to smile. I could see by their expressions that we were all on the same page.
“That means that we’re…” Melody started, but she couldn’t finish the sentence either. Using the word was a big step.
“Wife Lissa,” I started. “Would you mind holding the door open for a moment?”
Tears were running down Lissa’s face amidst her laughter as she pushed the door inward, but stayed outside as I picked up Melody in my arms and carried her across the threshold.
“Oh! Oh, oh, oh!” Melody shouted and began dancing in the foyer when I put her down. Have I mentioned that Melody dances when she’s excited?
I stepped back outside to get Lissa, but to my surprise she scooped me up in her arms before I could get in position. ‘In her arms’ might be the wrong way to say it. She threw me over her shoulder and hauled me inside before I could say anything. We turned to pull Melody into a kiss and discovered the little minx was outside again. She crooked her finger at Lissa. Melody’s method was just to wrap her arms around Lissa’s butt and lift her straight up as she struggled into the house. We were all laughing and crying at the same time as we fell together for a kiss.
With a cup of long-missed Seattle coffee refreshing us, we fell to work unloading the car and dragging everything to the lower level studio. We hadn’t made a plan for where we would put things or how we were organizing our lives. We just needed to get the trailer empty so I could get it to the local U-Haul station. We were about two-thirds done when Lissa’s car pulled into the driveway with Kate at the wheel.
Before we could reach her, she opened the back door and released two wild boys. We were attacked by Drew and Damon. I was never so happy to see anyone in my life. Okay. I was just as happy to see Lissa… and Melody… and Kate.
“I told Jack I’d bring the boys back here with me today since I knew they’d want to see you as soon as you got home,” Kate said. Lissa and Melody both kissed Kate thank you before I got to her, a boy on each of my hips. It was a light, but sweet kiss and she looked at me with a smile on her face that melted my heart.
With an extra pair of hands, we finished unloading the car before the pizzas arrived. With the boys helping, it took us longer than if we’d just kept unloading by ourselves, but it was twice as much fun.
We ordered a pizza for dinner and sat around talking about our trip with Kate and the boys. We showed them pictures of Crazy Horse Memorial and gave the boys Sioux drums from the gift shop. They were still being beaten after the boys were in bed. The four of grownups sat in the living room. I winked at Lissa and Melody.
“Kate,” I said, “I understand I owe you for taking care of Melody and the boys while Lissa was sick. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate what a big help you’ve been.” I reached over and drew her to me. She looked up at me, startled. Her eyes went wide open when I pressed my lips against hers, then they drifted closed as she melted into the kiss.
“Oh, that was nice,” she said. “Thank you. Oh! But Melody and Lissa already gave me a kiss from you for babysitting.”
“I always pay my own debts. You’ll have to give theirs back,” I said, grinning. The smile that split Kate’s face was delighted, but she didn’t move. I could see the wheels. She leaned over and whispered in my ear.
“I’m a little short right now. Could I borrow one? I promise to pay you back.”
I turned and kissed Kate again. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Melody kiss Lissa with just as much fervor, so I relaxed and fully enjoyed my moment with Kate. When we pulled away from each other, both of us had to catch our breath. Kate turned to Lissa.
“I guess I owe you this,” she whispered.
Strictly speaking as an outside observer, I think she gave more to Lissa than she borrowed from me. She’d barely finished blowing Lissa’s socks off when she doubled down on Melody. My mouth was watering.
“You’ll stay tonight, won’t you, Kate?” Lissa asked. “Tomorrow’s not a work day and we’d love to have you.”
“Uh… maybe not tonight. I’ve been here for the past week and I should really go home and check on my plants. I’ll just go catch a bus.”
“I still have to go return the trailer. I can take you home,” I said.
“Absolutely,” Lissa affirmed. “If we can’t keep you here, we certainly aren’t going to let you go catch a bus.”
“Where are you living when you aren’t here this summer?” I asked.
“I’m staying at the dorm,” Kate said. “It’s cheap and I’m comfortable there. I’ve got a room to myself, which is better than I’ll have this fall. It’s almost as private as living here the past week has been. I’ll just go get my bag.”
Kate and I kissed the boys goodnight as I was pretty sure they’d be asleep before I got home. We left and I carefully maneuvered the trailer to the local gas station that doubled as a U-Haul agency.
“Nice car,” Kate said.
“My dad gave it to me as an early birthday present. He said I needed a family car.”
“That’s sweet. When’s your birthday?”
“September 19th.”
“No.”
“Yeah.”
“We’re birthday twins.”
“Oh, I knew there was some reason I liked you. How perfect!”
I pulled up in front of the dormitory. Kate hesitated before she got out of the car.
“Tony?”
“What is it, Kitten?”
“That makes me purr.” We laughed. “I… uh… said I’d pay you back.”
Kate leaned across the console and laid a hand against my cheek, pulling me toward her. Her kiss was the same soft, tentative kiss that I’d experienced first before the party weeks ago. It was sweet and lingering. She didn’t seem in a rush to move on so I let it deepen and hold us together. Yeah. I got paid back. With interest.
“’Night.”
With that she was gone.
Ah, summer vacation! You’d think we’d just lie around all day every day and make love.
We all got a quick dose of exactly what it was like to be in a fulltime committed relationship—with kids. I don’t think any of us were ready for it. There was a household to run, kids to take care of, jobs to go to, school to get registered for, training schedules to coordinate, meals to cook, a yard to mow, and general sorting out of who was responsible for what. Monday night we all sank into bed and went to sleep. It might have been the first time we’d been together in bed and didn’t make love. And we were all too tired to notice.
Lissa was experienced at the whole working mother thing. She’d had a job for years and Damon was almost seven years old. She knew that things never let up. But even she thought things were going to be easier with three of us sharing the responsibilities. Instead, it seemed like three times the work.
Tuesday was more of the same. Lissa was tense because she had to present the new fall fashion line the next day. I was trying to work out training schedules at the club and figure out how we were going to get Lissa ready for Opens when she needed to visit stores three days a week. Melody was taking extra shifts with the boys and making meals. We barely spoke to each other until the boys were in bed—my part of the new routine.
Wednesday, Lissa dropped Melody and the boys off at a park and I was planning to go over to SCU to work on my class schedule. I was anxious to get started on the painting of the three Graces, though, and spent a good part of the day doing more sketches from memory and from my photo references. So I never made it to the school. This was going to be unique, and a departure from my normal romantic style with lots of drapery. Getting outdoors had been good for me and capturing that woodland mystique was turning out great.
Wednesday night, after I’d read to the boys and got them settled in bed, I was feeling better than I had the past couple days. Drawing energizes me. I was getting a handle on this being a family man and I was ready to share it with my lovers. I found them together on the deck and was surprised to see that they both had glasses of wine.
That was the first clue. I should have noticed.
I walked out and sat next to Lissa, put my arm around her, and reached over for a kiss.
I caught the back of her head as she turned away.
That was the second clue. I should have noticed.
Melody was sitting on the other side of Lissa, staring out into space. I could see the track of a tear on her cheek. I looked more closely and there was a tear dripping from Lissa’s eye as well.
The third clue. Oh shit!
“Lovers? What’s going on? What’s wrong?” I asked. My heart sped up to a thousand beats a minute and I could hear every one of them in my ears—so loudly that I thought I might miss what was said. But it came through loud and clear.
“It’s not working,” Lissa said softly.
“What’s not working?” I asked. “We’re just getting the hang of it.”
“Where were you today?” Melody asked.
“Most of the day I was right here. You should see the new sketches…” Wrong thing to say.
“You were sketching when you said you’d pick up the boys and Melody at the park in time for lunch?” Lissa asked.
Oh double-shit!
“Oh no. I completely spaced it out. When I came upstairs, everyone was here and having a good time. I never realized that I missed the pickup time. But you were all okay,” I said lamely.
“You didn’t answer your phone all day,” Melody said. “I finally had to call Lissa because the boys were so hungry they were fighting.”
“I was in a presentation on the fall fashion line,” Lissa picked up. “Tony, we depended on you.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Sorry isn’t enough,” Melody spat at me. Oh shit! They were really, really mad.
“It won’t work if we can’t depend on each other,” Lissa said. “I could have made other arrangements if you hadn’t agreed to do it. We aren’t your priority, though.”
“I just forgot.”
“You have to get past that, Tony. You can’t just forget when you’ve got kids… and wives… depending on you.”
Now I was crying. And it wasn’t the single tear escaping down my cheek. It was a torrent that blinded me. It was catching. All three of us were sobbing. I felt Lissa’s hand on my chin turning me to face her.
“I’m not going to be your mother, Tony,” she said. “Either of you.”
Melody really burst into fresh tears and Lissa stood up to walk back in the house.
“No, no! Please, Lissa. Please don’t walk away from us!” I begged.
She stopped with her hand on the door. I thought she was going to ignore me. I stood up, but wasn’t as fast as Melody who jumped to Lissa and had her wrapped in her arms before I could get across the deck.
“Please don’t throw away what we have because I fucked up, Lissa,” I begged as I put my arms around both my wives. “I know I’m not as responsible as I should be. I know I have trouble with appointments and schedules. But I know I can do better. I will do better.”
“You hurt Melody, too,” Lissa said. “You need to recognize that.”
“Wait,” Melody broke in. “Lissa, you can only deal with your anger. You can’t speak for me, too. I won’t take sides between the two of you.”
“But Melody,” I said. “I did hurt you. I forgot you. I’m so sorry.”
“I know you forgot me. But I won’t break up our family over it. Lissa, if you really want out you have to know you’re breaking up all of us. You can’t use me as an excuse. You made your point. Now are you willing to work it out or are you just throwing us away? Maturity is a two-way street.”
The wail that broke out came from Lissa’s heart. In an instant, Melody and I were supporting her weight as she collapsed. I picked her up and Melody opened the door so we could go in. I carried her straight to the bed because that was where we could all be together. Melody and I held Lissa between us until her sobs finally subsided.
“They said I was acting like a school-child instead of a professional,” Lissa sobbed. “When I left, they threatened to fire me and told me that was what getting involved with kids would do to me. They accused me of neglecting my job and jeopardizing our profitability.”
“Damn it!” I shouted. “What kind of place is it that you work in?”
“I don’t. I quit.”
There was the bomb. I’d triggered a chain reaction when I forgot to pick-up Melody and the boys. She called Lissa. Lissa’s bosses got upset. Lissa quit her job. It was all my fault.
“It’s not your fault,” Lissa said. “I carried around all that anger and didn’t tell anyone. And I just let it loose on you two. I hate them. I’m twenty-six years old and have already failed at two careers. What am I going to do?”
“We’ll figure it out,” I said.
“Together,” Melody added.
“We can’t expect that things will always be perfect, and just because you worked for bastards doesn’t make your career a failure.”
“But I let you all down,” Lissa said. I raised my eyebrow at Melody. No, it was me who let everyone down.
“I’m the only wage-earner in the family,” she continued. “I quit my job. I’ve heard all their ranting before, but I just let it get to me and then I blamed you. People have to leave work to tend to their children all the time. It’s not like I’d never done it before. I put up with the ridiculous shit they gave me because I needed the work and have a family and because I knew they couldn’t fire me for my performance. But I yelled back at them and told them children were part of the deal when I came to work for them and if they were changing the deal, then I quit. I threw away my job and then blamed you. I’m sorry.”
We held each other in silence, broken only by the occasional sniffle. Life is so overwhelming sometimes.
“Lissa,” I whispered, “would things be better without us?”
We were quiet a long time before she answered, Melody looking mournfully at me for even suggesting such a thing.
“I’m unemployed,” she began. “That’s hard. But I have love and support, even when I’m not being lovable. I have a precious gift I never thought I’d know. If it weren’t for you, I’d be unemployed, alone, and miserable. I don’t think that would make it easier.”
The mysterious ‘they’ that they always talk about say there’s nothing like makeup sex. Bullshit. Makeup sex is painful. Every tender caress is a reminder that you failed your loved ones. Every trembling kiss threatens to erupt in tears. Every assurance that you whisper falls on ears that are afraid to hear it—afraid they’ve gone too far to be forgiven.
We clutched at each other trying to bring our partners to fulfillment—that irrational act that says that maybe I failed at life but I can still make you come. We tried. We tried to express our pleasure in the actions of each other, but we were so caught up in trying to make up to our partners that we stuttered our orgasms—relieved to get them out at all. At last, we could escape to sleep.
Comments
Please feel free to send comments to the author at devon@devonlayne.com.
