Rhapsody Suite
Three
“WAS IT THE PAINTING?” I asked. Lissa had just stunned us—no, broken our hearts—by saying she was breaking up with us. I wanted to scream at her. Shake her. Plead with her. It had to be something I’d done and the mural was the only thing I could blame.
“No,” she answered. “Yes. The painting is wonderful, Tony. It’s beautiful. I couldn’t be prouder to be in anything. I’m sorry I blew up at you about it. It wasn’t the painting; it’s what I saw in the painting. It’s what I saw about all three of us. It was so beautiful and so frightening.”
Tears were flowing freely among all three of us now and I reached to touch Lissa and found Melody’s hand there with me. Lissa grasped both of our hands and pulled them to her lips, then leaned her cheek against them.
“I saw what you see, and I can’t be that. I’m a single mother with two kids. I have a career. I’m seven years older than you are. I don’t even know how these kinds of relationships work.”
“Neither do we, but we’ll make it work,” I said. “Lissa, you are a part of Melody and me. It breaks both of our hearts to see you like this.”
“I thought it would be fun. I liked you both and I was lonely. I thought I’d put some excitement in all our lives. I’ve never done anything like this before. I didn’t intend to fall in love.”
“Darling, none of us intended to fall in love. We thought we were just experimenting—finding out about sex and things we hadn’t done before,” Melody said. I remembered her using almost those same words when we first decided to go to Lissa’s house with her. Melody and I were barely more than friends when we started. The last five weeks had been an emotional roller coaster. “I’ll never be able to play racquetball like you, Lissa,” Melody continued, “I’ll never be able to paint like Tony does. Shhh… it’s true. But my darlings, never in your wildest imaginings will you ever be able to love me more than I love you.”
“Let’s go home and talk some more,” I suggested. I said “home.” It didn’t really make a difference where that was, as long as I was with Melody and Lissa.
“We can’t go to my place,” Lissa said with finality.
“No problem,” Melody replied. “We wanted to show you Tony’s redecorated dorm room. It’s three blocks away.”
Lissa looked at us and nodded. We got out of the car and walked to the dorm.
“Oh, my!”
We’d just walked into my room and Lissa was taking in the makeshift king-size bed we made by pushing the two singles together. We’d gone to Bed Bath & Beyond and bought a king-size mattress pad and “bed in a bag” sheets, pillows, and bedspread. Now it wasn’t bad to sleep on. We’d pushed the desks together on one side and raised the adjustable height beds on their legs so we could fit the dressers under them. Melody brought the braided rug she had in her room and my dorm room now resembled a nice farmhouse bedroom.
“Take you back to your wild and carefree college days?” I asked.
“Tony, I didn’t start college until I was married and Damon was a toddler. I never had wild and carefree. I’d never done any of this, before you.”
“Here I thought you were teaching us,” I blurted out.
“I thought models were…” Melody started at the same time and stopped. Lissa had never looked so vulnerable. I pulled her into an embrace and Melody was right there with me.
“There were lots of opportunities as a model and I experimented a little—mostly kissing and a little petting. Jack became my manager and agent when I was thirteen. He guarded me like a mother hen when I was traveling—which was most of the time. I didn’t have that many opportunities to socialize with other models.”
“That sounds kind of predatory,” I accused. “Where were your parents? They let you be with this guy when you were thirteen?”
“Shh… Don’t speak ill of Jack. He was a perfect guardian. I would have done anything for him, but he refused every juvenile advance I made—kindly and respectfully—until I was eighteen. I guess he couldn’t resist me any longer.” Lissa paused, struggling with her own demons. I willed her to go on, but let her take her time without pressuring her. “You need to know. It’s only fair.” she said finally. “My parents were killed in an auto accident when I was twelve and I went to live with my father’s sister. Jack was her husband. They became my legal guardians. Aunt Jane got uterine cancer the next year. It was fast and devastated Jack. In just a few weeks, she was gone and it was just Jack and me. After the first time I won a modeling competition, he threw himself into making my career successful and I became the center of his universe, and he of mine. I wanted to be everything to Jack that he was missing since Jane had died.”
“Wait! You married Jack? Your guardian?” Melody asked. “They don’t allow that, do they?”
“When Jack found out I was pregnant, we went to France for a year and got married. Damon was born in Paris. When we came back, we were husband and wife and parents of a beautiful boy.”
“What happened?” I asked quietly.
“Life. Jack is thirty years older than me. He loves me and absolutely dotes on his kids, but when I finished my associates’ degree and started working in the industry, he started to withdraw. He said he didn’t want to tie me down. The thoughts had already crossed my mind, though. I know if he hadn’t started the proceeding, I would have eventually. We were divorced a little more than a year ago.”
“All the experience you’ve had, though,” I held the question in my voice. “All that you’ve taught us.”
“The blind leading the blind. Tony, you are the only man I’ve been with other than Jack. Melody, you are the only woman I ever… loved. I’m such a fraud.”
“Um… you know…,” Melody said, “if that was supposed to make us love you less, you just failed big-time.”
“I’d take you faking over someone with real experience any day of the week,” I said.
“You guys! Don’t you see?” Lissa sobbed. “I lied to you. I used you. I’m so sorry! I don’t want to get between you two. I almost drove you apart last week because I was so selfish.”
We’d all talked last weekend about how we’d have to learn to share and not be jealous of each other, no matter what combination we were in, but Lissa was still blaming herself for something that, as far as Melody and I were concerned, just didn’t exist. I looked at Melody and could tell we were in agreement; this was all about Lissa.
“Lissa, you and Melody saved my life,” I started, still holding on to Lissa’s hands. “A few weeks ago, I was nearly suicidal. I hated everything about my life. I was drowning. You’d pull me out long enough for a gasp of fresh air on the court and then I’d slide right back under water when we finished. Melody rocked my world when we gave each other our virginity—in your basement. But as soon as school pressures hit me again, I was right back in a funk. I’m not cured yet. On Monday this week, I was right back in the shitter. But you needed me on the court and Melody was in my bed when I got home. I’m way too much trouble for either of you, but together… Oh god! … Together, I’m filled with so much love that the hope is sticking with me even when I’m down. It’s not just sex, it’s the whole American dream—two kids, two cars, and two wives. How can I be depressed?”
At last, both Melody and Lissa looked at me and broke out laughing. We sprawled out on the bed just holding and hugging each other. I thought—I hoped—that just maybe, we’d saved our relationship. Lissa seemed to be thinking hard, but she was cuddled between Melody and me and not letting go.
“You let me win that last rally,” Lissa accused, poking my chest. “You can’t ever let an opponent win like that. People will walk all over you.”
“I didn’t let you win it. When I saw you prepare to serve, I realized there was no way you could lose. I tried to return that shot. I could have been a world champion player, and it wouldn’t have made a difference. Sometimes you just know the outcome before you make the play.”
We lay there holding each other, not doing anything. We might even have dozed off together for a few minutes. For those few minutes, Lissa seemed content to lie in the arms of her lovers, but she stretched and sat up between us.
“I have to go home. The kids are with their nanny. I have them this weekend.” She looked at us. I could tell she was still sad and if we let her walk out the door we might never see her again. “I just don’t know how to make this work,” she continued. “You think I’m older and wiser and more experienced. I think I’m a kid who has kids. How could I explain us to them? Or to my ex-husband? I’m just overwhelmed.”
“Hey. Let a professional at being overwhelmed help,” I said, standing beside her.
“And a professional at being overwhelming,” Melody laughed jumping up with us.
“I think it’s time your kids met the rest of the family,” I said decisively.
Lissa’s eyes got big as she looked at us.
“Really?” We nodded. At last she smiled. “You have no idea what you’re in for.”
Wow! Was that statement ever correct! When we got to Lissa’s house, two small hurricanes went tearing past us. One was on a blue and yellow scooter with his legs pumping as fast as they’d go as he circled through the living room, kitchen and down the hallway. The other was running behind, switched directions abruptly and nearly caught his brother as he squealed around the corner. A door slammed at the end of the hall and the voices were silenced.
Lissa’s house had always been immaculate when we were there. Outside of the kids’ bedroom, there wasn’t a sign that children lived in the house. This time, there were various toys, trucks, and building blocks scattered everywhere. Legos were hooked together to form tunnels and ramps for an auto racing track. Half a dozen books were scattered on and around the sofa. It was like a different house.
“Molly, I’m home,” Lissa called into the house. In a moment, a plump young woman about my age came out from the boys’ room and greeted us in the kitchen. She was even shorter than Melody and had big eyes that looked like they were used to laughing a lot.
“They are little terrors today!” she laughed. “Oh! Sorry, Lissa. I didn’t realize you had guests. I’d have made them put the toys away.”
“Don’t worry, Molly. Sounds like you were having fun. These are my friends, Tony and Melody. We’re hanging out tonight. Guys, this is the most wonderful nanny in the world, Molly.”
“Do you want me to get the monsters ready for bed before I leave?”
“No,” Lissa answered. “We’ll take care of it. Don’t you have a date tonight?” Molly blushed.
“Sort of. But Steve’s not picking me up till eight, so I’ve got time.”
“Baloney! Go get yourself beautiful and wash the gravy off your face before you see him,” Lissa teased. “Unless you want to serve Steve dinner off your cheeks.”
Molly was beet red as she reached to where a splatter of gravy decorated one side of her face.
“Those boys! We were one step away from an all-out food fight. If you’re sure, I’ll run. Nice to meet you Tony, Melody. Good luck!”
As much as she’d protested and volunteered to help, as soon as she was dismissed Molly wasted no time grabbing her keys and bag and heading for the door.
“I’m going home, Damon and Drew! Mommy’s home,” she called from the door. The bedroom door opened and the two boys ran to Molly to hug her before she left. Then they turned and seemed to notice their mother for the first time. Both boys’ faces split into wide grins and they wrapped their arms around Lissa’s legs yelling, “Mommy!”
“It looks like you boys had a good time with Molly today. Did you learn anything in school?” Damon, the older boy, stuck his lower lip out in a pout while Drew ran back down the hall to their room.
“School’s dumb!” Damon declared. “Jimmy pushed me on the bars and I fell.”
He pulled up his pants leg to show a series of Band-Aids on his shin. They had various dinosaurs and monsters decorating them, but I couldn’t see any sign of scrapes or injury. Lissa lifted the edge of one to confirm the suspicion and patted it gently back into place.
“Well, look at the bright side. You got a lot of monsters out of it.” Damon grinned and hugged Lissa just as Drew came back with a colorful sheet of paper that, as far as I could tell, had no resemblance to anything living or inanimate. He held it proudly in front of his mother. She squinted at the paper and I was about to ask, “What is it?” when she spoke.
“You are definitely improving,” she smiled. “Did you use every crayon in the box?” Drew nodded proudly. “Boys, we have company. You remember my girlfriend, Melody…”
We’d been watching this while standing aside and realized that we were holding hands and squeezing each other every time one of the boys did something cute—which was everything they did. Now we became the focus of their attention and Melody dropped my hand to catch both boys as they ran to hug her. They were certainly outgoing. I remembered hiding behind my mother whenever I was introduced to another adult.
“Meddy!” Drew exclaimed as if she was a long-lost friend. Damon immediately looked up to me and I kneeled down on the floor to get to the same height. I held out my hand.
“Are you Mommy’s boyfriend?” he asked.
Before I could parse what he’d said I’d already answered, “Sure am.”
He ignored my proffered hand and came straight to hug me. It was so cool. In a moment Drew was wrapped in my arms as well.
“I’m Tony,” I said.
The greeting, though intense and affectionate, was short-lived. Within half a minute, the boys were headed out of the kitchen.
“All toys to your room, boys!” Lissa called. “Storytime as soon as you’re ready for bed!”
I was surprised at how fast the boys got their toys back in their room. It wasn’t long before they were ready for bed and I discovered I was the designated story reader. I settled in the middle of the sofa with a boy on either side. Melody sat next to Damon on my right. Lissa said she was going to get something going for dinner, but that didn’t seem right. I asked her to please come and sit with us, so she got comfy on my left and Drew shifted so he was leaning against her instead of me. I read Go Dog! Go! and Hop on Pop for Drew while Damon patiently waited with Horton Hears a Who. I had to laugh when I thought that the same books were probably still in the back of my closet at home in Nebraska. I had the stories mostly memorized since I’d read them so many times growing up.
I thought about home for the first time in a long time that night. I missed home, but I hadn’t really thought about why. The feeling was so overwhelming that I couldn’t think about it rationally. I missed my mom and dad. I missed my friends from school, and especially my art teacher, Lillian Stone and my best friend, Beth. I’d always loved drawing and I guess I showed some talent for it when I was in middle school, but Ms. Stone taught me how to control it. It was sheer luck that when they built the new consolidated school district high school, they hired her to teach art. She turned what I loved into a passion. I was looking forward to visiting her this summer when I went back.
But that got me thinking about summer. The break was just two months away. What would happen to Lissa and Melody and me when school was out? I thought about being home again and realized that, as much as I missed home, it was hard to see myself there now. Something had shifted in the way I viewed things. I felt more like this room, Melody, Lissa, and even the two kids we were carrying to bed were where I was anchored. I wasn’t even torn. I wanted to go visit my family and friends, but I didn’t want to go back to Nebraska—not to stay. Just a few months ago, I’d applied to transfer to the University. I expected I’d hear from them sometime in June telling me when to arrive and what my financial aid package was. But I was no longer interested in transferring.
I can’t say I led a sheltered life. Mom and Dad gave me a lot of freedom. We lived in a farmhouse, but we didn’t farm. The property was rented out to a neighbor. Dad always talked about building an airstrip out in back. We had a barn that was used for storing hay and straw in the winter, but Dad had sold all Granddad’s farm equipment except a small tractor mower at auction after Granddad died a few years ago.
Dad taught in the elementary school and loved it. He had no desire to become a farmer. Mom was a dabbler. She worked at the local bookstore as a part-time clerk, but most of her paycheck seemed to go right back in the till to pay for the books she brought home. At home, she had a sewing studio in the spare room where she made cloth bags and purses and explored a variety of fabric art creations that ended up on shelves in the studio and were never seen by the public. Melody would love it, I thought. The one exception was that every newborn baby in the area received a ‘Grimp.’ They were huge stuffed dolls with a fat soft body and really long legs and arms. You couldn’t walk into a grocery store without seeing some kid dragging one of them along behind. Mine still sat on my bed back home. I wondered if maybe I should bring it for Damon and Drew.
Being with the boys just brought out that feeling of nostalgia and I started thinking about how I was going to tell my folks about my new family.
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