Hearthstone Entertainment
63 Good Knight, Elaine
“I THINK WE’LL make some changes,” Williams said softly. “We’ll see if Charles is as good as we all think.” We watched as Charles looked at his EP and nodded, then walked away from Hannah and Elaine. The two girls turned toward us a little stunned and motioned for Nikki to join them. “Rick, call Dave and alert that we might have a late start tonight. He should be ready to rock and roll at eight, but he could still be editing the feed when the show goes live at eleven,” Williams said. “Everyone who is not running a camera or pushing a platform, leave the studio. Obviously, except the students and faculty. Ms. Gordon, the studio is yours. Try to not make us too late starting, please. We have to let the audience in at six o’clock, no matter what.”
“Will you be in your usual seat tonight, Mr. Williams?” Hannah asked. He smiled at her.
“I think I will be,” he laughed. “I don’t want to miss this.” Hannah caught Eric’s eye. She pointed at him and then at the exiting Executive Producer. Eric nodded and gave her a thumbs up. He went to his camera. He did a couple pivots from pointing at the stage to pointing at a chair just past where the last guest would sit. She called the rest of us into a huddle. Elaine was pacing around the floor with her head in her own little world.
“Mr. Knight was watching us while we were playing,” Hannah explained, “when everyone left and we did ‘Somebody shoot me.’ He wants us to do that instead of ‘The Look.’ They had scheduled us for ten minutes at the end of the show. They’ve moved us up to a half hour in the middle.”
“Is Elaine ready to do that?” I asked incredulously. “Nikki just wrote it last night.”
“You know Elaine,” Nikki said. “She reads it and it’s memorized. Half an hour later, she won’t remember a word of it.”
“Ready in the booth,” Rick’s voice said in the studio.
“Can Nikki have a headset?” Hannah asked. “I need her to take notes. I don’t have my AP with me. If I did, she’d have us all in our places by now. Eric, Davy, this is how it will work for the next half hour. Elaine is going to go through the piece and you just work on tracking her. She’ll be doing it slowly and retracing her steps while she gets the blocking down. You may have noticed she doesn’t stand still in a monologue. Just track her so you start to see where she’s going. On the second run-through, I’ll start filling in cues. I won’t know where all of them are until I’ve seen it a couple times. It will be more than one and less than five times. If we don’t have it by the fifth time, we’ll lock all the cameras down and just give it to Elaine. Then we’ll start running it at speed. We’ll run it until everyone is comfortable with the calls. Guys! Always cue on me! Do not ever cue on what Elaine is saying. She varies at times and I will have you in the right place. When we are satisfied, we will do two Italians. Everything will be at double speed and we will have every cue on time. Work this hard and we should be out of here in time to get an audience seated. Everybody go to the bathroom. We’re live in five.”
The run-throughs went exactly like Hannah described them. Working with Davy and Eric was like working with Jess. They never once questioned Hannah’s decisions, though they were quick to make suggestions if they saw something from their angle. This monologue had some funny spots but it was right on the edge. And in the end, we had it nailed with enough time to get our clothes changed and for Elaine to relax in the green room as Kim applied powder and eye makeup. Hannah called us all to the green room as the audience was coming in.
“Remember that guy who did the really funny routine at the beginning of the awards banquet?” Hannah said.
“Derek Raimes?” I said. “Even I know who he is.”
“Yeah. Well, I didn’t mention that he’s the headliner tonight. So, no one is going to notice us. I just want you all to relax and enjoy the experience. We’re going on network television. This will be great,” Hannah said. Derek Raimes is going on right before us and we’re supposed to relax?
Once the show actually started, we did relax. I was delayed in the green room for a few minutes because Elaine really did need an orgasm before she went on. I did my best to relax her without making her pass out. I had to hustle around behind the stage in order to get into position before our turn came. And then we were on. Before he introduced Elaine, they played the clip of ‘The Look’ from our tape. Then Elaine came on and was gracious in being greeted by both Charles and Derek.
“We’re privileged to have a bright young actress on our show tonight. Welcome, Elaine Frost.”
“Oh, Charles,” Elaine said. “I’m not really an actress. I just play one on TV.” Derek immediately went into an imitation of Marcus Welby and we were all laughing as we subtly moved in to trade places with the normal crew.
“It’s not always fun and games, though, is it? This comedy thing.”
“It’s hard work,” Derek said. “If you are a comedian, you are on all the time. You shake hands with someone and they expect you to be funny. Say something clever. Vavoom.”
“That’s true,” Elaine said. “But I’m not really a comedienne, either.”
“In fact, we’ve asked you to step outside your comfort zone tonight,” Charles said. Elaine doubled up in pain. All of a sudden there was a tear in her eye and it ran down her cheek. “Elaine? Are you all right?”
“Sure. Sure. Maybe I’d just better get this done, okay?”
“If you’re sure. You don’t look in too good a shape.”
“Thanks.” Elaine got up and headed for her mark.
“Assuming she can make it to the stage, here’s Elaine Frost,” Charles said. Hannah was already calling cues and the camera caught Derek and Charles leaning together to whisper as Elaine found her mark.
ELAINE: Ow! Somebody just shoot me. Please. You ladies know what just happened. It’s that time of the month and I’ve got cramps. [Laughter. Turn toward camera one. Advance slowly.] Going on birth control pills was supposed to end my cramps and make me regular. Well, one thing is for sure: Once a month, I’m regularly doubled up in pain. I hurt! And I’m going to make life miserable for everyone! [Laughs from the women and groans from the men.]
Yeah, yeah. I know. I don’t have cancer. Now that’s real pain. What am I complaining about? [Camera two (April)] I haven’t had a leg shot off in a stupid war that no one wanted to fight. I don’t even know what pain is! I’m not dying of hunger with a bloated stomach and not enough water to ease my parched tongue. That’s pain for you. I’ve got inconvenient menstrual cramps that will last three days. I didn’t ask for a presidential medal of honor just because I’m in pain. But I still hurt. And I’m going to whine about it! [Laughter.] Charles Knight never had to do a monologue with menstrual cramps. [More laughter.]
[To Jason on camera three] It’s not funny! [Turn to April. Quietly.] This isn’t funny. Stop laughing. [Move right as April’s camera inches forward changing the background until Charles is visible. He and Derek are intent on Elaine.] What is it about the insignificance of my pain that makes you think it denigrates the suffering of someone else? I know I’m not dying. I don’t think. Not for another hour or two, at least. [Titters.] I know that just because I’m crying and moody doesn’t mean that my best friend, lover, husband, or child is dead. Now there’s pain. Why am I not supposed to feel my pain because it isn’t as bad as someone else’s? How did me having cramps make you think I didn’t respect the pain of a rape victim? Why do you keep saying ‘Quit whining’ when I hurt?
[Camera four moves behind Derek and pans right to find Frank Williams. He’s quiet. Intent.] [Quickly to Jason.] I know. I stopped being funny. [Walk toward camera one a few steps and point at Davy.] Especially if you’re a man and have a wife, girlfriend, mother, or daughter who has cramps on the first day of her period and just wants to curl up around a heating pad and make the world go away. [Nervous laughter.] My little pain, in my little world, probably isn’t as bad as an impacted wisdom tooth. But it’s still my pain. It doesn’t make your pain less significant just because my tummy hurts. My cramps don’t go away because you hurt more. My moodiness and depression don’t vanish in the face of your friend being suicidal. [Back to Jason, right on stage with her.] Just because it’s private, doesn’t mean it’s not hell.
[Back to April. Begin to edge the platform back as Elaine advances.] And when you stop to think about it, you could say the same thing about courage, bravery, love, marriage, pets, friendship, honor, poverty, disability… It’s not a contest. We don’t need to scoff at the courage of a depressed woman who still gets up in the morning and feeds her children and gets them to school, just because she wasn’t the woman who rushed into a burning building to save a beloved pet. They are both brave. They are both heroes. The interracial couple, the mixed religion couple, the same sex couple, can’t trivialize your marriage because of theirs. [Very tight on Elaine’s face.] The old woman who weeps over her dead cat does not render meaningless the grief of the woman who weeps for her lost husband.
[Scowl at Jason.] Sometimes, life just isn’t funny. [Jason circles behind Elaine and she follows him so her back is to the audience and they see themselves behind her on the monitors.] That doesn’t make the funny times less laughable. [April pans down and zooms in on Elaine’s foot where a piece of toilet paper is stuck.]
[Applause.]
CHARLES: We have to take a break after that. We’ll be right back with Elaine Frost and Producer/Director Hannah Gordon.
Hannah had us stick with our cameras and jobs as she went to sit between Elaine and Derek. She was keeping Elaine next to Charles and was still wearing her headset. The orchestra started up the theme song and I heard Rick cue his cameraman for the close up on Charles. Then Hannah was calling shots again.
DEREK: That wasn’t funny. It was so true, though.
CHARLES: We’ve been joined up here by producer/director Hannah Gordon who just won an Educational Television Award for Best Comedy, Variety, and Alternative Production with Chick Chat starring Elaine Frost. Watching you two work together during that monologue was amazing.
ELAINE: We love to dance together.
CHARLES: I was torn, as was the audience, about whether to watch you or to watch the monitors.
HANNAH: You know what would be neat? If we had ten-foot monitors on either side of the stage so they would blend in with the action. Does that technology exist? [Subvocal.] Red seventy-five right. Mark.
CHARLES: Are you still directing the show? [Jason starts to move.]
HANNAH: Putting together a show like ours means that we have to know where the cameras are at all times. And getting the actor to move like we want her to.
CHARLES: I thought the cameras were just following Elaine. It was amazing because we could see them right in front of us. They were part of the action.
ELAINE: You have to learn the dance. Sometimes you lead the camera and sometimes the camera leads you. Like now.
HANNAH: [Subvocal.] Red, slant left forty, slow. Live. Mark. [The image shifts to Jason’s camera as he rises in front of Charles’s desk and begins slowly tilting his camera to the left.]
CHARLES: I’m not used to having a camera so close to my face. Doesn’t that interrupt the audience reaction? [Slowly lean his right as Jason’s camera continues to tilt.]
HANNAH: There are only 150 people in the live audience. Over two million are watching on television. We aren’t going to convince the two million that they are in the audience. [Subvocal.] Orange one. Mark. [Charles leaning far to his right. Camera switches to Eric on wider view as Elaine kisses Charles’s head. Jason backs away.] [Subvocal.] Red seventeen. Mark. [April’s camera comes alive as we creep forward focused on a very surprised Charles.]
ELAINE: You follow camera direction very well.
CHARLES: [Laughing.] Can we give control back to Rick so I can finish the interview? [Hannah removes her headset. Rick starts calling the shots and our team dismounts so the regular camera crew can take over.] We have some footage that we’re going to show here that might surprise you. I understand this was taped on Friday and we got the package this morning. Hearthstone Entertainment isn’t a tiny student operation, is it, Hannah?
HANNAH: Well, most of us are students, but we built our own production studio.
CHARLES: Why don’t we take a look at it? [Focus changes to the monitors. Our studio appears and Samantha walks in.]
SAM: Hi. I’m Associate Producer Samantha Cortales and I’d like to welcome you to Hearthstone Entertainment Studios. It all started over here in Chef Brian’s kitchen where he tapes Young Cooking and also where he feeds much of our clan.
Samantha took us on a guided tour around the studio, moving over to the set for Chick Chat and then around to the set up for Dance Fit where Sora was warming up half a dozen women for taping. The circuit included a view of the control platform and Maggie operating the mixer. I wondered who was on camera.
SAM: This last area has never before been on tape. This room was once a dormitory where sixteen people slept. [Camera moves into the loft bedroom. Racks of clothing, makeup mirrors, and more racks of clothing.] It’s now Elaine’s closet. She wears at least two new dresses Designed by Leonard each week. Sometimes the girls of the clan come up here just to play dress-up. I hope you’ve enjoyed the tour of our little studio. Visit us again, won’t you?
CHARLES: So, you actually have a single soundstage where several different shows are recorded.
HANNAH: We have four regular shows but one of them is shot on different locations around the country. You saw Maggie Kwan at the control panel in the tour. She is the producer/director of Redress, a young fashion show starring the model Heaven. In addition to the three studio shows, we’ve produced specials, a miniseries on birth and pregnancy, and a commercial documentary.
CHARLES: Just so everyone knows when to start job-hunting, when are you planning to go professional?
ELAINE: Oh, please, no! We record up to three episodes a day of Chick Chat. It is distributed to over a hundred stations covering every major market, including some of your affiliates. We’ve recorded over 150 episodes so far, plus Young Cooking and Dance Fit and Redress. I don’t have time to be a professional. I’d rather stay an amateur for now.
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