El Rancho del Corazón by Devon Layne

El Rancho del Corazón

71 Take One

“I’LL BE DAMNED!” Larry said when we walked in through the side doors of the barn. The front was blocked because the new deck and porch had just been stained today.

Samantha was coming down the stairs wrapped in a towel, drying her hair with another. Hannah was right behind her in a similar mode. Sora and Tim were making out in front of the fireplace and I wasn’t sure either of them had anything on. Rose, Liz, Whitney, Adam, and Warren were in the kitchen dressed in only aprons. Elaine, Nikki, and Sarah were huddled at the dining table. I could only see their tits, but I assumed they were naked as well. Angela walked straight up to me and kissed me, her bare breasts pressed right up against me. I knew if I looked hard enough, I’d find Josh and Cassie someplace, too. Probably still upstairs making love.

“Crap! This is the second time I’ve done this. I’m sorry,” I said, turning to Larry and Theresa. Jennifer and Courtney were being helped out of their clothes by Hannah and Sam. Jennifer nudged Theresa.

“When in Rome…” she said.

“Larry, I think we just came home,” Theresa said as she started to undress. “You didn’t tell us about this, Brian. It’s a good thing. We’d have just turned around and run. But… As long as no one makes fun of my fat belly, I’d love to get out of these jeans.”

“How cool. Look at this elastic panel in the front of them. We need to get Doreen a pair like this,” Jennifer said.

“Hi. I’m Rose,” my cónyuge said as she came up to us. Angela was pulling my pants down at the time. “Brian usually warns us when company is coming in. We do have wraps if it makes you more comfortable.”

“Matrón,” I said formally, “may I introduce Larry and Theresa Irving. They are the caretakers of Starbridge Dude Ranch and helped bring down the livestock. I’m sorry I didn’t give you warning. I apologize to the casa.”

“Patrón,” she said as she kissed me. “You are forgiven. But really, Theresa and Larry, if this makes you uncomfortable, we’re happy to cover up.”

“God no!” Theresa said. “When we get home tonight, I might get reminded of what got me into this fix.” She reached over and grabbed Larry’s cock through his jeans. “Down, boy. We don’t want to frighten anyone.”

“Hey, don’t worry about that,” Courtney said. She moved in front of Larry, now completely naked. “Erections are a fact of life around here. We either ignore them or we don’t. Larry, may I assist in removing your clothes? I promise, no touching.”

“And I’d be happy to help you out of those tight jeans,” Jennifer said to Theresa. “I’d love to see your baby bump.” Both nodded and let the girls undress them.

“We have a strict policy in the clan that any activity that could be considered sexual must have explicit permission of both—or all—parties involved,” Rose explained. “No one here is ‘available’ and no one assumes that you are.”

“That’s kind of a relief. Did this all start with that agreement we read when the five of you came to the ranch?” Larry said, finally finding his voice. “This place is beautiful. I mean in addition to the scenery. Your home. How many of you live here?”

“That varies day by day,” I said. “Officially, there are sixteen members of Casa del Fuego and we sort of own the house. Only fifteen of us are currently resident. That’s thirteen women and two men. The other woman will graduate from high school in three weeks and then move in with us. In addition to that, right at the moment we have four clan members joining us and helping on the remodel upstairs that will add two dormitories and two more bathrooms.”

“So there’s twenty of you in your group now?”

“Oh, no,” Rose laughed. “There are forty-six—at the moment.”

“We’re not adding, are we?” I asked. “Please say no.”

“Did you forget that Addison will be here sometime in July? You don’t think she’s really going to live on campus and not be part of the clan, do you?” Rose asked.

“Damn! I forgot all about that. I haven’t talked to her in a couple of weeks,” I said.

“You met Carl and Louise,” Rose explained as she handed Larry and Theresa each a towel. “They live in the bunkhouse on the right side with Brenda and Cathy. They are Casa de la Tierra. They are currently sharing with the three people of Casa del Arco Iris. On the other side of the bunkhouse are the four current residents of Casa del Agua. The four people in Casa del Sol currently live in town, but we are in the process of building a new duplex that will look like a barn where they will live this summer. Did you see, Brian? Ron’s crew finished the excavation for the foundation Friday.”

“That’s great,” I said. “When do they plan to pour it?”

“Probably Thursday if the septic lines are in.”

“What a lot of activity!” Theresa said. I ushered her and Larry to the throne chair and they spread their towels. People kept coming up to introduce themselves as we chatted and we all plopped around the room. “And you say there are two more coming?”

“Thirteen more,” Whitney said as she brought sandwiches and soft drinks. Most everyone had eaten before we got there, but there was plenty of food for Jennifer, Courtney, Theresa, Larry, and me.

We sat around talking until after nine when the couple decided they’d better get back to Starbridge so they would be ready to take care of the rest of the chores in the morning. They were about eight years older than most of us, but they just blended in as if they’d always been there. Doreen and Doug came over so Doreen could talk to Theresa about pregnancy. Larry gave me a couple strange looks, but he didn’t make any comments.

They promised to be back over the weekend to see their horses.

“You know,” Rose said after they’d left, “we could probably use a ranch manager. I like them.” She cuddled up in my lap and fell asleep while I did my reading for class tomorrow. That’s where we woke up in the morning.

“Everybody remember, we’re doing a test shoot on the talk show set tomorrow morning,” Hannah said. “No nudity until the crew has left.”

“We need a bulletin board with guest schedules on it so we know when to get dressed,” Jennifer said.

“And when to have quiet orgasms,” Samantha giggled. Jennifer blushed. Nonetheless, Samantha had made the notes to get a schedule board posted. I could see that we’d need more than one with everyone’s class and individual schedules, too. In fact, we should have posted a construction schedule. I knew Hannah was scheduling the test shoot for Saturday because the construction noise upstairs was too much during the weekdays. The new dormer upstairs had been framed and enclosed, but it wasn’t sided, wired, and insulated yet. The framing was in for the two new bathrooms upstairs and the plumbing was roughed in.

I headed out to class with Samantha and Hannah.

“So, are you learning a lot in this production class?” I asked.

“I am,” Samantha said. “Even though I work with her every day, I’m still learning a ton.”

“Well, Hannah’s only been doing this for a year. I’m sure she’s learning, too. Right, honey?” I said. I stepped in the poo again.

“Brian,” Samantha lectured me. “She’s teaching the class.”

“I am not. Lonnie’s teaching it,” Hannah said quietly.

“Right. He gives the overview and principles from the book. Then he turns it over to you for the practical side. Honey, IU is paying you to teach this summer. I’m a student. You’re a professor,” Samantha said.

“What? I didn’t know you were being paid to teach this summer! Hannah! That’s incredible,” I said. Holy shit! I wondered if anyone else knew this or if I was the only one kept in the dark again.

“It’s just my tuition they’re covering. That way I can officially be a teaching assistant. You weren’t supposed to tell, Sam,” Hannah groused. “It’s not really being paid. Hearthstone Entertainment still pays my salary. They’re paying me in free crew for our summer production. I’m… I’m the executive producer, I guess.”

“You guess? Hannah, we need to have a celebration. This is so cool!” I said.

“What I really want to do is direct.” On one of our rare weekend dates, the three of us had gone to see L.A. Story with Steve Martin. It was a quote from the traffic sign. What a funny movie. Sam and I both broke up laughing as I parked the car.

Carl and Jennifer hosted Theresa and Larry when they came out Saturday morning to be with their horses. All of Casa de la Tierra joined them, as well as Dawn, Sora, Tim, Whitney, and Casa del Sol. Suddenly, there weren’t enough horses for everyone to ride. But our friends from Starbridge went straight to work giving riding instruction and talking about horse care and the unique characteristics of our new wards.

Angela took a small crew to the garden where they were in the process of planting the second acre. Brenda was torn between the garden and the horses, but wanted her riding lesson before she got her hands dirty. Which made sense in a Brenda kind of way.

The rest of us moved equipment, set lights, and generally acted as a pain in the ass while the production crew got ready to film Elaine in front of the fireplace. There were power cords and cables running all over the main floor. Lonnie had moved most of the studio that was portable over to our house. They were even using three cameras and one of them was on a dolly. We weren’t ready to start filming until nearly eleven. Hannah called everyone to order. I’d expected Lonnie to do it since he was the professor, but apparently once they were on set, Hannah was the boss. I noticed that she’d dressed professionally today, unlike most of the rest of us.

“We are about to run the first test shoot,” she began. “I have notes before we begin. Number one. We will be filming a tight schedule this summer. It scares the shit out of me and it had better do the same to you. We will be working intensely for six weeks, ten to twelve hours a day. You will always have to be on top of your game. You will also always need to dress as befits your profession. Today, everyone has the excuse of being grips. Nobody expected anyone to dress professionally. That doesn’t mean suits and ties. But it also doesn’t mean grungy, ripped jeans and T-shirts. We have arranged a non-stop flow of important guests for Elaine’s talk show. Top fashion models, political figures, law enforcement, entertainers, sports figures, and professionals in various industries. I expect each of them to be treated courteously by consummate professionals.” Even though we were standing a little apart from the college crew, Hannah made it a point to look up at the members of our casa as well. We were all on notice.

“Next, a few of you have worked here during the past year. Most of you haven’t. Look around. This is not just a television studio. This is our home. By our, I mean Casa del Fuego. The production crew are guests in our home. We understand that you have a job to do and the hearthmates will not make that job more difficult. But the crew needs to treat our home and our family respectfully. I went over this in class, but I’m repeating it so the casa hears the rules as well. As part of having our studio in a private dwelling, and as part of having so many high-profile guests expected this summer, I remind you all that photography and recording of any sort, not done as part of the specified production is forbidden while you are at El Rancho del Corazón. There will be minors present on the premises as well as people who feel strongly about their privacy. Every photo and recording of any individual must be accompanied by an appropriate release. Unauthorized photos and recordings of any type are cause for immediate dismissal from the production and failure of the class. I cannot emphasize this enough. What happens at El Rancho del Corazón, stays at El Rancho del Corazón.” Everyone on the crew nodded and the casa breathed a sigh of relief.

But, man! Hannah is a tyrant!

“All cameras live! Entrance in three…” Hannah held up two fingers and then one. She pointed to the left side of the fireplace and Elaine walked in. Damn, she was hot! She wore heels, a miniskirt, and a blouse that was open significantly below the old school dress code.

“Hello! I’m Elaine Frost. Welcome to Chick Chat.” She turned toward the left. “For any of you males who are still watching and didn’t catch the title of the show, I need to make a public service announcement on behalf of women everywhere. Guys, you’re clueless.”

“Cut! Roll that back and let’s get a sound check. Hair!”

“The lock over her left ear that won’t behave?” Liz asked. “I’m on it, Ms. Gordon.” Liz attacked Elaine and did some kind of magic to tame a stray lock that stuck out from the side of her head like a little horn.

“Sound. Her microphone is rubbing against something when she turns her head.”

“Got it, Ms. Gordon,” one of the guys said. Two of them joined Liz with Elaine and started repositioning things. Elaine just stood there calmly as they fussed over her.

“This looks terrible,” Hannah said from the monitor. “We need curtains. Cassie, Josh, get the harem drapes out of the storeroom upstairs. Brian and Adam, we need a stepladder and tacks. We only have to worry about stage right. We’re full of construction with the new stairway back there. Lights! Can we adjust that pole so it covers the fireplace without shooting through the curtains?”

“Do we need to drape all the way to the post? If I can have a one-foot gap, we’re golden.”

“Can you frame that, April?”

“No problem.”

People were scurrying all over everywhere. We tacked up the harem drapes from our bedroom to the backside of the beam and Cassie and Mary made sure they were straight and there was an opening where Elaine could enter.

Hannah consulted with Lonnie and then talked to Elaine. Nikki had gone to Elaine in the middle of the break and had been in a deep conversation. When Hannah had resolved whatever problem they were having to her satisfaction, she turned back to the rest of us.

“Anyone who doesn’t have an active job during filming, grab a chair and arrange yourselves on either side of camera two. That’s the one here in the middle. We’re going to run the first full take with a live audience. You can feel free to applaud when Elaine enters and to laugh at her jokes. If you think she’s funny. Just don’t get too raucous. You know the routine. Just like shooting Young Cooking.” We shuffled chairs and made a semblance of an audience. When we were all ready, Hannah called out, “Places! All cameras live. Ready in three…” She counted down the seconds on her fingers and Elaine entered through the curtains. We applauded.

“Hello! I’m Elaine Frost. Welcome to Chick Chat, the show where girls talk.” She turned toward the left. “For any of you males who missed the title and are still watching, I need to make a public service announcement on behalf of women everywhere. Guys, you’re clueless.”

ELAINE: You just aren’t listening to us who are your girlfriends, dates, wives, significant others, or potential conquests. You think you hear what we’re saying, but you aren’t watching our body language and facial expressions. So, in the interest of promoting better communications I’m going to provide a lexicon of facial expressions for you to study and memorize. First, there’s a look I’m sure you’ve all seen at least once.

[Turn to camera right. Expression, totally blank. Turn back.]

This look has a very clear meaning. It means you are acting like a boy. You don’t want to see this look more than once, because if it turns to this…