El Rancho del Corazón
61 The Temple
THE NEXT MORNING, I figured the best way to handle my outburst was just to ignore it—pretend it never happened or I didn’t remember it. I softly kissed Rose and Hannah, who sandwiched me between them, and went down to bake bread. I tried to formulate words to speak to Hannah, but my mind was filled with turmoil. I’d snapped. I was embarrassed and ashamed. I’d shown what a weak person I was—that I wasn’t capable of taking care of the simple things in life. Lots of people held down jobs and marriage and even school. I couldn’t even remember the names of my lovers. And it made me so damned mad!
I was thinking all this, but it wasn’t coherent thoughts. I set the bread to rise and went out to see the horses.
We’d had a pretty wet spring so far and the kids had really torn up the area nearest the lean-to where they sheltered at night and we put out hay. They were all three grazing farther out in the pasture but turned and ambled toward me when I whistled.
“You guys are caked with mud!” I said. “Silk, you are supposed to be a white horse. What’s with the dark gray and brown?” I gave them each a carrot and rubbed their muzzles. “You’re all going to get baths today. We might have to run you through the outdoor showers.” I patted the horses one more time and turned back toward the barn. It was such a classic structure. If you were just imagining a farm to paint, the barn and silo would be a part of it. I just didn’t want to go inside yet. Avoidance, I guess.
I walked over to the door of the silo and shoved it open. It, like everything else on the ranch, had been cleaned out before the property went on the market. It still had the smell of corn silage in it. It was dark inside, a cement stave cylinder twelve or fourteen feet across and nearly forty feet high. I’d considered stacking the hay in it, but there wasn’t enough floor space and you’d never be able to stack it more than a couple bales high before it was impossible to get in and out of the small door. So, it just sat.
I stepped inside and kicked my flip flops off. They were all I was wearing. The cement floor was cold. The temperature in the silo was lower than outside as the sun had not yet hit it fully. I moved in my first rudimentary form. It might have been the first form Whitney taught me. Be still and center. I pushed the door shut before I continued. The darkness closed in on me—enveloped my soul. I moved through more forms. I struck at imagined enemies. I struck at my fear. I struck at my anger. I even struck at my love. I was in a sacred space—a temple where I could let the rage and fear and anger and frustration pour out of me into the darkness.
I slipped back into my flip flops once I’d found and opened the door. I continued around the back of the barn to the far side and turned on the outdoor shower. I just stepped under the water in the cool morning air and watched the sun come up over the woods while the water beat down on me. We still had everything we needed on shelves—even outside, the girls couldn’t do without a variety of shampoos, conditioners, and body washes. When I turned off the water, of course, I was chilled and happy to find towels still in the cabinet. They were a little dampish just from the humidity they’d sat in all winter, but they’d do. I made a mental note to bring them all inside to wash and dry later. I filed it with all my other mental notes. I continued my walk around the barn, getting to the front door at the same time that it opened. Hannah and Sarah came out, both dressed up.
“Hey!” I said. “What’s up?”
“Oh! You’re out here. We were afraid we’d lost you,” Sarah said, stepping up to kiss me softly.
“My sister is dragging me to French Lick for sunrise service this morning,” Hannah laughed. She placed a tender kiss on my lips, reaching up to let her fingers stroke my scratchy face. “I knew you were near,” she whispered. “I felt you tickling my brain this morning. I love you.”
“Um… it’s six. The sun is already up,” I said blankly.
“Yeah, but you can’t get people up for Easter Sunrise Service before seven-thirty these days,” Sarah laughed. “We’re going down so I can say good-bye to my folks before I head back to Oberlin. We’ll be back in three or four hours. I love you, too, Brian.”
“I don’t want to mess up your pretty clothes, but when you get back, I’ll give you both the hugs and kisses you deserve. I love you,” I said. They got into Sarah’s powder blue Mercedes and she cranked the diesel engine over. It finally caught and I waved to them as I went on into the house.
“Can I use your car to take Nikki to the airport?” Liz asked as the three of us cuddled in the big chair. They were both dressed for travel and Nikki had her ‘early’ flight at ten-thirty.
“Of course you can,” I said. “I’m sad to see you leaving, Nikki. I wish our break had been at the same time so we could have spent more time together.”
“I get horny, but I don’t need to be fucked all the time,” Nikki giggled.
“It’s so good to see you and to know that you are happy in school,” I said.
“Oh, I still get weird,” she answered. “You just have to learn to handle it.” She leaned in and licked my ear, which made all kinds of shivers go through my body. “The crazies are contagious, you know. Don’t worry about it. Just let it go.” I hugged Nikki and pulled her in for a long tender kiss. I worked my hand under her sweater and automatically traced her rose tattoo with my fingers. It was her turn to shiver and I pinched her nipple. “If I let you keep doing that, I’ll miss my flight. I love you, Brian.” They got off my lap and we ran to the kitchen to get them fresh bread to eat on the way to Indy.
Elaine caught my hand as the girls pulled out and I waved to them.
“Got time for a cuddle?” she asked as she led me back to the chair.
“I’ve decided not to start studying until eleven,” I said. “After Hannah and Sarah get back and I kiss her goodbye.”
“I’m going back to campus about noon,” Elaine said. “I can’t believe I’m getting ready for my last show at UIndy. And I’m not even going to be onstage. Carting that clipboard around for the director and getting coffee is a thankless job, but what’s a stage manager to do?”
“I miss you when you’re up there. I know we’re only ninety minutes away, but I still miss you.”
“I’m still coming back Friday night to help get ready for the season finale on Saturday, so I won’t be gone long. Going back tonight was my trade-off for getting Friday night off this week.” Unlike Nikki and Liz, Elaine had not dressed yet and wiggled delightfully against my cock in the chair. She kissed me and the kiss deepened.
“May I touch you, Elaine? Your breasts?”
“Brian, when we are together in our home, you may touch me any time and any place. My breasts, my butt, my pussy, my toes, my mouth, my hands. I give you explicit permission to touch me, you silly boy. I love you.”
“I treasure you, Elaine.” We kissed and I explored her body with my fingertips. Somehow it evolved and she slid down in my lap to take me in her mouth. I relaxed and let her work her magic until I flooded her. She crawled back up to me and we kissed tenderly.
“Sometimes I feel closer to you when we do that than I do when we make love,” she said. “If I move back here this summer…”
“Please say ‘when’ you move back here,” I interrupted.
“I think so,” she said. “I have feelers out, but I don’t want to do summer stock in New Jersey again this year. I want to just enjoy my summer after graduation. So, when I move back this summer, I will be living with you full time. That means there will be something else we can do, lover. Something your cónyuge promised you. No more rubbers. What I feel in my mouth when you come, I want to feel in my vagina. I love you.”
Sarah didn’t have much time when she and Hannah got back at ten. We had a bite to eat together and then Sarah tossed her bag in the car and turned to kiss me goodbye.
“Spend some you-time, Brian,” she whispered. “Don’t think about any of us. Just think about yourself for a while. We’ll all be here when you are ready.” She kissed me tenderly. “I love you.” Then the noisy diesel Mercedes chugged out of the drive toward Ohio. That was about the same time Liz pulled in from her trip to the airport. Six girls headed for the corral to start washing the horses. It was going to take them a while, but the kids loved the attention. Sora and Tim said they were heading back to campus.
“Thanks for letting me be a part of all this, Brian,” Tim said. “I mean, I know I’m not part of the clan, but the atmosphere out here is just so good! I love coming out here. And I think I’ve fallen in love with Sora, too. Don’t tell her, though,” he whispered. She was standing right beside us and heard every word. She punched Tim in the arm and he made like he was suddenly a cripple.
“Just for that, you can stand there and watch while I kiss my compañera before we leave,” Sora said. My eyebrows shot up.
“What I suffer,” Tim moaned, but he was grinning. “Go ahead. I know you need your fix before we leave,” he laughed. Sora stepped up to me and put her hands behind my neck. I was overwhelmed by the passion she put into that kiss and when we parted, I was embarrassed to be standing stiffly between us.
“I love you, my compañera,” Sora said. “Sorry, I’ll have to leave this for someone else’s attention,” she said, playfully patting my erection. I flushed. Her boyfriend was right beside us.
“I’m glad to see you aren’t immune to your women,” Tim laughed. “I don’t feel like I’m the only one who walks around with a hard-on, now.” He and Sora left, practically doubled over in laughter. Before he started his car, the two shared a long passionate kiss in the front seat. I didn’t feel jealous like I had yesterday.
Adam and Warren had already left and I was settling into my chair to start studying. We were actually covering a very neat part of both chemistry and physics that had to do with the structure and manipulation of the nucleus of atoms. It was one of those rare times when I was glad I was taking both courses at once. Rose and Whitney came to kiss me before they took off.
“Where are you two headed?” I asked.
“We’re on shopping duty today,” Rose said. “But we need a little change of pace. Whitney’s going to introduce me to the women’s fitness center. Kiss my titties goodbye, Brian. If I lose weight, that’s the only place it could come from.” She pulled up her shirt and bra and I obliged.
“But I love your titties,” I complained. “Don’t lose them.”
“But you love my little titties, too,” Whitney laughed, baring them to my lips. “You always say size doesn’t matter.”
“Hoist on me own petard!” I laughed. “Just remember, Master, Rose is my pet. Don’t break her.” They laughed and I sat with my book in front of me, not really reading for a few minutes. I was just listening to the silence of the house. I took a deep breath and heard a matching exhale from the floor in front of the sofa.
“It sure gets quiet in here when everyone is gone,” Angela sighed. “How do you stand it?”
“Angela! I didn’t realize you were still here.”
“All my rides left without me.”
“Do you need me to give you a lift back to campus?” I asked.
“Only if you want to get rid of me. May I stay for a while?” she asked.
“Of course you can. You are practically a member of the clan now. Are you going to sign our charter?” I asked.
“I don’t know. It depends on whether someone asks me to,” she said.
“Usually, someone asks to join and the clan takes a vote,” I said.
“Alternatively, someone may become attached to an individual in the clan and that person can ask him or her to become a member,” Angela said. She was very observant and she talked to everyone at the ranch equally. I knew she’d also been invited to Casa del Sol on several occasions. She was obviously referring to our adoption of Sandy. Sandy had already been adopted into Casa del Agua before she officially became a member of the clan.
“Angela…” I started. She pressed a finger to my lips and sat on my lap, our books forgotten for the moment. Angela was completely comfortable in the nude and only put clothes on when company was coming to the ranch. Still, I marveled at her deep brown skin and the first breasts and pussy I’d ever laid eyes on.
“You had a bit of a meltdown last night, Brian. It made me realize how much stress living like this can put on a person. Especially a person who so obviously loves and cares for everyone in his clan. I don’t want to add to your stress level. We’ve still got a little unfinished business left over from when we were kids,” she laughed, reaching between us to hold my cock. It was the first time I could think that she’d deliberately just reached out to touch my genitals. Of course, I started to respond. She didn’t do any stroking or manipulating—just held it in her hand. She pulled one of my hands to her breast. That was the only sign that we were being intimate. She kept talking like any ordinary conversation. “You were pretty out of it when you started shouting out names last night. Then you passed out again while all the girls in the room cried.”
“Shit! I didn’t want to hurt them,” I said. In spite of Angela holding my cock, I was deflating.
“We were up a long time after you went to sleep. They weren’t hurt. They are so… in love with you. That’s the only way I can put it. Not one girl there wanted to stop touching you, just pouring out her love to you. And there was something else,” she said. I waited a long time, looking into her eyes and could feel her body temperature change. Her nipple stiffened under my hand and I could feel the heat pouring out of her center on my lap. My cock reversed its direction—all without our having moved. “You included me,” she whispered. “In that long list of names you rattled off, afraid you’d forget someone, you included me. When you said each of our names… We just felt loved. Nikki and Hannah could both identify a panic attack when they saw it. They explained what had happened. But even in your panic, we could feel the love blasting out of you like heat from a furnace. Like all of them, I knew that I could be consumed in that furnace. If I let myself be caught in your sphere, you would burn away every imperfection I have. And you know what? I felt like… like gold! I felt like I’d just been melted and turned from 14 karat to 24 karat.”
“What do you want, Angela?” I said softly. I was pulling her closer to me. My still hand on her breast was moving now, kneading it softly, feeling the fullness, wanting to put my lips on her hard nipple.
“I want to be a part, Brian. But… I’m a little envious of the other girls. I know the clause in the agreement about not being jealous, and I’m not. This is different. They all had years of growing up with you and letting this relationship evolve. I’m envious of all that time and history you’ve had,” she said. “As much as I want to satisfy my curiosity and lust and longing, mounting your cock and feeling you up inside me, I also want to have that gradual buildup and tension as we get to know each other better.” She pulled my face down to her breast and I sucked her nipple into my mouth as her hand, covered in my precome, now actively worked up and down my cock. She pulled my hand down between her legs as she spread them to give me access. “I want to look forward to the day that this all happens with you buried deep inside me, and I want to look into your eyes as we come,” she whispered hoarsely. My cock erupted between us and Angela squeezed my fingers into her pussy as she whined in orgasm.
Only then, after we had both come and left our fingers steeping in each other’s juices, did we kiss. And kiss.
“Angela,” I whispered to her. “Would you be my compañera?” She looked at me, smiling.
“Yeah. I guess that’s what I was saying.”
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