Deadly Chemistry
10 Strange
IT WAS WEIRD to leave Indiana on Christmas Eve to celebrate the holidays in Seattle. I wouldn’t have any of my friends or girlfriends around, the whole vacation. It was going to be flat-out miserable. And all for Betts. I had a feeling that even Mom and Dad would rather be spending the holiday with Anna. I’d even suggested that we take our Kokomo girlfriends with us, but Mom frowned at me.
“Not a word to Betts. We do not need a hysterical daughter for the holiday,” Mom warned me.
Speaking of the devil, she met us at the airport. Mom and Dad were renting a car, so technically there was no reason for her to meet us, but I guess it was nice for her to be so enthusiastic about seeing us. I’d slept all the way there on the plane because there was nothing else to do and I wasn’t going to be able to drive the rental car. It was just too disgusting to think of playing one of those little handheld electronic games. Somebody on the plane had one and the flight attendant finally went back to tell him that either he had to silence the game or turn it off. The beeps were making everybody crazy.
When we’d collected our luggage and Dad got the car keys, we headed for the garage.
“You can ride with me, Brian,” Betts said. Why? I figured she’d want Mom to ride with her and Dad and I’d follow. This couldn’t be good. I got in the boxy little Volvo and fastened my belt.
“What is it, Betts?” I asked. “Did I do something wrong already?”
“Don’t you think your sister might want to just see you without anyone else for a while? I haven’t seen you since the wedding. Don’t you miss me like I miss you?”
“Is that it? You miss having me around to abuse?” I laughed. “Or do you need more cooking lessons?”
“All right, asshole,” she snarled. Then she started giggling. “Can you believe I said that? I’ll have to watch my tongue around Mom and Dad. You’ve changed, Brian. You’re a lot more mature than you were when I left. You’re right. There were a couple things I wanted to talk to you about and I wanted to do it without anybody else being around to hear us.”
“Okay,” I sighed.
“Doreen told me about Hannah and I want you to know that I’m really sorry. I mean that, Brian. I know it was all an accident and stuff like that happens. And I know you’ve really been hurting over it. I felt like you needed to know that I’m not going to criticize you for it and that I’m really sorry. There’s no reason to assume that you suddenly feel so close to me as a sister that you’d want to talk to me about it, but if you need to, I’m here. Living with Allen has… I guess made me more mellow or something. I feel like things just don’t upset me as much anymore. He’s always there to calm me down and I feel whole when I’m with him. Anyway, that’s all I’m going to say about it unless you want to talk, but I had to say it when we were alone together.”
“Thanks, Betts. It’s been hard on all of us. Even Doreen has been a little weepy over Hannah not being around. She was a catalyst for our whole group in some ways.”
“And how is the rest of your little harem?”
“We’re all doing as well as can be expected. Classes are kicking ass right and left. But we’re staying sane by leaning on each other. I really miss being with them for the holiday.”
“I know I kind of dragged you away. It’s the first time I’ve been able to invite my family to come to my home for the holiday. I’ll try to make it pleasant and not be the bitch you remember. That brings me to something else, though.”
“What?”
“Allen’s little sister. I know everybody’s going to assume that you’ll have so much in common and that you’ll naturally want to spend time together and all. I tried to explain to her that you have girlfriends and that she doesn’t need to feel like she has to entertain you all the time, but even her parents talked up your agreement and tried to get her to start something like it at her school. Let’s just say that she’s not of the kind of temperament of the rest of your group. If anything, she’s even more… uh… astringent than I was.”
“Holy cow, Betts.”
“You don’t have to act like it’s not possible.”
“That’s not it. I was surprised you knew the word!” She reached across the seat and whacked my arm, then looked in the rearview mirror like she thought Mom and Dad might have seen her from the car behind us.
“Just be prepared for anything. She’s sixteen and I think she kind of idolized her big brother Allen. I came along and she was no longer the most important girl in his life. She might be as angry toward you as she usually is toward me. It’s been the hardest part about being out here. Her name is Addison. I was hoping that we’d develop a good enough relationship before junior comes along that she’d even want to babysit. At the moment, I wouldn’t trust her alone in my house, let alone with my baby.” Betts dropped one hand to her stomach.
“Betts? Are you telling me something? Are you pregnant?”
“Yeah,” she squeaked. “You’ll be a good uncle, won’t you, Brian?” I reached across and put a hand on her arm. She moved it and put it on her tummy. I couldn’t really tell much except that Betts had a nice soft stomach. “Late May or early June. I promise I’ll be a better Mommy than I was a sister.”
“Congratulations, Betts. I think you’ll be a great mommy.” I pulled my hand away. “And at least I know the baby will eat well.” I grinned at her and she blushed.
“Beast!” she laughed. “Play your cards right and maybe I’ll let you watch. Once.”
“Have you told Mom and Dad?”
“We haven’t told anyone. We’re planning to make the announcement tonight at dinner, but Allen and I decided to let our sibs in on it in advance. I didn’t think you’d have any problem with it, but he’s not so sure about Addie. He’s out with her now for a little brother-sister conference. Hopefully by dinner she will have stopped screaming.”
“Boy. Sounds like we’re going to have a great time.”
“Just turn on the charm that got you all those girlfriends. Maybe you can be a good influence.”
“Don’t count on too much.”
Christmas Eve dinner was at Allen’s parents’ house. Jordan and Grace Partridge had an incredible house up on a hill that looked out over Lake Washington. Across the lake, the Seattle skyline shone against the setting sun. People must pay millions for that view. Jordan and Grace were great hosts and there was someone else in the kitchen preparing the food. Man! On Christmas Eve they had someone to cater their dinner? Betts must have married into some serious money. Her house with Allen was farther out on the East side in a little suburb of fairly new homes. It was very nice, but not the virtual mansion that the Partridges had.
Addison Partridge was something else entirely. She had half a dozen earrings piercing her ears, a bar in her eyebrow and a ring in her nose. Her fingernails were painted black. In some ways she reminded me of Nikki, but her clothes were even less put together and her black hair with blonde roots showing looked like it had been cut with a pair of nail clippers. Her eyes were heavily coated with black eyeliner. Then there was the acne that appeared in patches on her face and a couple of pimples on the exposed part of her chest, just beneath her collarbone. Below that, her breasts barely caused a wrinkle in the black pull-over she wore. After being introduced, she didn’t say a word all evening.
“Moms and Dads,” Allen said as we were finishing dessert, “Betts and I wanted us to all be together this Christmas for a special reason.” He turned to Betts.
“What Allen’s letting me say is that you’re going to be grandparents this spring. I’m three months pregnant,” Betts said. I started clapping. Our parents joined in. Addison sat silent and stony. From that point on, the parents carried most of the conversation. I stood to start clearing the dishes much to Mrs. Partridge’s surprise. The caterers had left when we sat down to eat and the kitchen was clean. I just went about cleaning up the dishes and putting what could be washed in the dishwasher and just washed the china and crystal. At least it gave me something to do. I turned around and saw Addison sitting in the nook in the kitchen. She was reading a book. I said ‘Hi’ but she didn’t even look up. When I’d finished the dishes, Mom, Dad, Allen, and Betts were standing to get ready to go.
“It was so nice of you and Addison to do up the dishes,” Mrs. Partridge beamed. Oh? So Addison helped me clean up? I smiled at Mrs. Partridge.
“It was nothing. Thank you for the lovely evening.”
“Brian, would you help me tomorrow if I actually do some of the work?” Betts asked me before I went to bed. “I know Addison didn’t do any of the clean-up tonight. It made me mad, but Jordan and Grace are convinced she isn’t the social pariah that she is. If she helped someone the earth would open up and swallow her. But I’m making Christmas dinner and I’d love to have you help me in the kitchen. Is there a way I could convince you?”
“Who are you and what did you do with my sister?” I laughed.
“I’m Sister 2.0. That’s computer software talk. You hear it a lot around here. Brian, I’m twenty years old and I’m going to have a baby. Me. She’s growing right here.” She grabbed my hand again and held it over her womb. Standing up like this, I could definitely feel the slight, firm roundness of the baby growing. I didn’t really feel a hump, but Betts had always been pretty thin and the fullness in her tummy was new. I pulled her to me and wrapped both arms around her and put my hands where the baby was growing. Betts leaned back against me. “It’s a miracle, isn’t it?” she whispered.
I don’t know where they came from, but tears splashed down on Betts’ shoulder. I realized they were mine.
“She killed our baby,” I whispered. “She was so desperate she tried to kill herself. I wasn’t ready for a baby, but I would have done anything for her and for our child. She could only see the tragedy, the pain, the fear. I hate her for that. And I can’t stop loving her.” Betts turned in my arms and held my head against her shoulder while I cried.
“She was fifteen, Brian. Don’t be too harsh on her. Remember that you love her and one day it will work out. You have no idea how frightening this experience can be. Even with Allen in a good-paying job. Even with our loving relationship, parents, and home. Even though I wanted this more than anything. It’s frightening. A few days ago, Allen went to work and I sat down in the room that is going to be the nursery and cried all day long because I was so frightened. But he came home and he loved me and I knew it would be okay. Just love her Brian. Just love her.”
I got up early on Christmas morning and went to the kitchen to make cinnamon rolls. Once I had those rising, I mixed up bread dough for Christmas dinner and started scrubbing and cutting vegetables and potatoes. The whole time, I was carrying on a conversation with Hannah in my mind. It wasn’t unusual. I’d been talking to her every morning at 4:30 since she took over my paper route. It seemed natural to me to tell her what I was thinking and to tell her I loved her.
I know things are still difficult for you, honey, but we’re all still here. Sam is so sad that you are away from her. She really loves you. So do Jennifer and Courtney. I think a lot about the time you said this was our special time and would one day be when you and I were making love while our other lovers were still asleep. It’s easy for me to imagine that Sam, Courtney, and Jen are those other lovers you were referring to. But I know it could as easily be Whitney, Rose, and Cassie. The thing is, none of us feel complete without you. Well, it’s Christmas morning. I bought you some truffles. They’re on my desk. I wish I was with you to give them to you and tell you from the bottom of my heart that I still love you. Merry Christmas, Hannah.
“Do you talk to her every morning?” my sister whispered. I practically jumped out of my skin. Had I been talking out loud? “It’s okay, brother. Oh, my goodness! Are you making cinnamon rolls? You’ll be the best uncle my little girl could ever have.”
“Is it a little girl?” I asked, relieved that Betts dropped her original question.
“I think so. Allen thinks she’s a boy, but I know better.”
“Got names picked out yet?”
“No. We’re just adjusting to the fact I’m pregnant. What should I do to help get the food ready?” It was almost seven.
“When are the in-laws coming over?”
“Eight.”
“Perfect. The cinnamon rolls will be ready and you can pour the mimosas. I haven’t cut the melon or washed the berries yet. You could work on that.”
“Thank you for coming to help make the first Christmas in my new home so special, little brother.”
The day had been pretty calm. I was relieved that the gift-giving was low key. I got a nice electric frying pan for Betts and Allen that almost broke my personal bankroll. This wasn’t like the little crockpot I gave her. This was a serious pan with an oil core. I was going to have to teach her how to use it before I left. Mom and Dad had chipped in but they got Betts a waffle-maker and a new coffee pot as well. I gave Mom and Dad a photo I’d had framed of me with my girlfriends last spring before everything went to hell. I also gave them a certificate for one dinner party and one night with me out of the house. I grinned. That one would work two ways.
I was flat-out shocked when they gave me a certificate for one night with them out of the house. They also gave me some clothes and a little toy phone. I looked at them and realized they were putting a phone extension in my room. Betts and Allen gave me a gift certificate to Williams Sonoma. Oh boy! Kitchen toys!
After dinner, I went out on the back deck during a break in the rain and just looked out at all the lush green around me. Indiana was pretty much black and white at this time of year. Of course, we had sunshine.
I didn’t really hear her approach, but I sort of felt her presence. I turned to look at Addison. She had her arms crossed over her meagre chest and was looking at me with something approaching a sneer. Oh, shit. Here it comes.
“How can a shrimpy little kid like you attract a girlfriend?” I prayed that Betts would forgive me.
“How’s a girl with no tits attract a boyfriend?”
“You fucking son of a bitch. How dare you?”
“You’ve been gunning for me ever since I got here and the first thing you actually say to me challenges how I can have a girlfriend. You want to exchange insults? Go ahead. I’ll give you one for every one you make. I’ve had a long time to get used to them. I probably know more of them than you do. Call me a geek. A pencil-dick. Say I’m Alfred E. Neuman. If we were back in second grade you could call me four-eyes but I’m wearing contacts now. I’ll still allow it. Then you can start with body odor, pimples, tell me I’m a boy soprano. You might try the crooked front tooth, big ears, big nose, bad haircut. Can you think of any others? I can go on. You’re an amateur compared to the people who have teased and insulted me all my life. I can make them up on the fly. Want to hear more?”
“Bastard.”
“I am a son of a bitch, a bastard, a devil, Shaitan, Beelzebub, an ass, a pig, the north end of a horse going south. I’m a wanker, a punter, a jerk, a louse, and a filthy shit.”
“Stop. Stop. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. Stop.” She was crying. God damn it. I sure can put my mouth in gear before I check with my brain. She’d turned her head away and her shoulders were shaking. I reached out and touched her. She stiffened slightly but then her shoulders just sagged.
“I’d rather talk about your limpid gray eyes,” I whispered. “I’d love to see your flaxen hair without the heavy dye job. I’d like to tell you how I like the rosy blush in your cheeks when you think secret thoughts and believe no one is looking. That scent you are wearing—White Shoulders?—is old fashioned. It makes me think you should have a bonnet and shawl instead of this ragged grunge that you wear.” She turned and looked at me, blinking.
“What does limpid mean?”
“Crystal clear. Like if I looked into your eyes long enough I could see your soul.”
“Are you trying to seduce me?” I shook my head and laughed quietly.
“I’m just trying to point out that there are more fun things to do than throw insults at each other. I’m sorry I came down so hard on you. Will you forgive me, Addison?”
“I… No. I can’t forgive you when I’m the one who started it. I’m sorry. Nobody ever cares about me or how I feel, so I just attack everyone else. And then Mother and Father and Allen and Betts all hold you up as this wonderful godlike man like I should be more like you.”
“I hope to God not. You make a much better girl.”
“Even with no tits?”
“That was a low blow and I’m ashamed I said it. For that, at least, please forgive me.”
“Okay. And I’m sorry I called you names or said you were a shrimp.”
“Well, I am short as guys go. But I’m only nine inches shorter than Abraham Lincoln.”
“Nine inches? How do you even know stuff like that?”
“It was in the textbook back in fourth grade. And on President’s Day the teacher made me put on a paper beard and a construction paper stovepipe hat and deliver the Gettysburg Address. Everybody laughed.”
“Are… um… all your girlfriends shorter than you?” Addison was a few inches taller than me, even though she slouched. I wondered where this line was going.
“No. Whitney’s six-two. Liz is an inch taller than me and so is Nicolette. Heaven is probably the same height as you. What are you? Five-ten?”
“Five-nine. Don’t make it any worse than it is. Is it true, then? You really do have like twenty girlfriends?”
“Not really. Actually, I can’t claim Heaven as a girlfriend at all. She’s just a friend.”
“Heaven? You mean like the model? You know her?”
“We grew up next door to each other. We were very close until she left to become a full-time model.”
“I don’t want to be a girlfriend.”
“How about a friend?”
“You like music?”
“Hell, yeah.”
Seattle was pretty cool. Betts wanted to take us to all the touristy places and Allen got the week between Christmas and New Year’s off so we really had a good time. We went to the top of the Space Needle, which was pretty awesome. We had lunch at a restaurant on top that rotated around so we got to see the whole city. It was overcast, so we didn’t get to see Mount Rainier.
“Hey, Brian,” Allen called when he saw me trying to look through a coin-operated telescope. “You know what we call it here when the groundhog sees his shadow?” I looked at him blankly.
“Uh… no.” Groundhog sees his shadow, that’s like six more months of winter, right?
“July.” I think he was kidding. Maybe.
We rode the ferry to Bainbridge Island and drove around looking at all the boats and the big park, but it was threatening rain. On Tuesday, Allen drove us up to Snoqualmie Falls and a cool lodge there where we had lunch overlooking the falls. It’s not like Niagara, but it’s still pretty impressive. We continued up to the pass and Allen suggested that we could rent inner tubes and go sliding, but we weren’t really dressed for it. He said maybe Addie’d take me up later in the week if I wanted to go.
It turned out she was cool with it and there was a bunch of kids that caught a bus to the pass on Thursday and we spent the day freezing our butts off and having a blast sliding down the mountain on huge inner tubes. Things change when you’re having fun. Addie introduced me to a bunch of her friends. There was this one cute girl that hung around us a lot and I noticed that Addie was getting pissed.
“Hey, is the coffee here as good as they say?” I asked Addie. “I’m freezing. Let’s go over to that lodge.” She took the hint and as soon as the would-be rival started down the hill, we abandoned the tubes and ran for the little A-frame chalet that served coffee and chocolate to the skiers and snow-bunnies.
“You could have had her, you know,” Addie said as we sat with hot coffee mixed with cream and chocolate. “She’ll do anyone just to mess it up for other girls.”
“I don’t do just anyone,” I said. “These drinks are yummy. Samantha would love it. I’ve got to figure out how to make these.”
“You could do me.”
“Addie, we’ve only known each other for five days and two of them we were ready to kill one another.”
“Yeah, but now we’re not, so you could fuck me. Mother and Father will be gone all day tomorrow. It’s not hard to get to our place from Allen’s. I do it all the time. I’ll score some weed and we can get high, rock out on Nirvana, and fuck ourselves stupid. It’ll be fun.”
“Addison, how many guys have you had sex with?”
“A few.” I looked at her and she dropped her eyes. “Just blow jobs. We get high at a concert and then I suck them off. It’s kind of expected.”
“I don’t expect it.”
“Are you gay?”
“Are we going to start that again?”
“No. I don’t mean that bad. I’ve got lots of friends who are gay. It’s okay.”
“No, I’m not gay.”
“Sometimes they say that a guy who has a lot of girlfriends is trying to compensate for his sexual orientation and hide the fact that he’s attracted to men. I mean it when I say I’ve got a lot of gay friends. They’re… uh… easier to get along with than straight guys.”
“Like they don’t put pressure on you and you don’t feel like you have to put out for them?”
“Yeah. I guess so.”
“Well, I’m straight and I’m absolutely crazy about my girlfriends, so you don’t have to worry about putting out for me, either.”
“I might reconsider, you know,” she said.
“Reconsider what?”
“Wanting to be a girlfriend.”
We sat in the chalet all afternoon until they were boarding the bus to go back. There were actually some kids in the back of the bus who were passing a joint. You could smell it all the way in the front, but the driver just ignored everyone, including the cute girl who’d been hanging around us going down on a guy in the back seat. I felt kind of bad for her and for Addison. Things sure were different in the city.
We spent all day Friday together in downtown Seattle. There was a carousel that we rode and we took the monorail to the Space Needle and back. There was this really cool bookstore in Pioneer Square that had both new and used books and I bought a couple of chemistry texts and one on horse husbandry. I told her all about Rika, Silk, and Jingo and she wanted to come and visit. Horses are really good for getting dates.
Addie wanted to show me Pike Place Market. That was pretty wild. People would pick a fish they wanted in front of this one stand and a guy in rubber boots, apron, and gloves yelled and threw it across the market where some other guy caught it, filleted it, and wrapped it up for the customer. We went across the street to a Starbucks Coffee Shop and they made a big deal out of it being store number one. Whatever. It was kind of a hole in the wall, but the latte was good. Man, if I kept drinking those every day I’d be broke and weighing 250 wouldn’t be a joke anymore. I found a phone booth and called Betts. She agreed to come and pick us up when I told her I’d cook that night. We headed back to the market and I spent pretty much all the money I had left buying fresh ingredients. I was making it up as I went and talked to the people at each food stand. The guy who threw fish was actually very knowledgeable about what fish were in season and the best way to prepare them. He threw a King Salmon behind the counter and the fish cutter did a beautiful job packing it up. Half of it we took with us and half they packed on dry ice and shipped to us back in Indiana. It would get there on Tuesday because of the holiday.
I kept picking up fresh vegetables, and pasta that was hung out on lines to dry. By the time Betts navigated the traffic to get to us, Addie and I were loaded down with packages of food and my books. We were laughing and Betts couldn’t believe I’d bought so much.
“Brian, you have to let us pay for this. It’s enough that you are cooking it. Allen called Jordan and Grace and they’ll be over at seven. Are you sure you have time to cook all this?” she asked. It was nearly four o’clock.
“You might have to serve cocktails before I get it on the table. Can you get a bottle of white wine for the adults?”
“I can’t. Need I remind you that I’m still underage in this state? I’ll send Allen out when we get home.”
Betts either had or I’d bought everything needed for the dinner. I was glad there would be enough people to eat all I’d bought. The eight of us feasted on poached salmon served on a bed of fresh pasta and vegetables steamed in white wine with clams. It was the first time I’d ever really made a seafood dish and I couldn’t wait to share it with my friends back home. The other half of that salmon was going to be for my girlfriends. As it was, I could have served another eight people with the amount of fish and pasta I had.
We were invited to the Partridges’ (senior) for their annual New Year’s Eve party. I was amazed that there were caterers who kept shifting food out to the buffet all the way till midnight. About fifty people were at the party and Jordan provided cabs for everyone who didn’t have a designated driver. There was only one other teen couple and the four of us spent our time in the basement watching movies and playing pool. The caterers even made periodic trips downstairs to refresh our food and drinks and to clear away empties.
“It’s Mother’s way of being clever. She figures if the caterers come down every half-hour or so then we won’t be able to spend all our time making out,” Addie laughed. “Not that the caterers would say anything. I caught three of them in the pantry last year and none of them had clothes on from the waist down. The creepy guy wanted me to join them.” She’d pointed the ‘creepy guy’ out to us earlier and we all made a kind of disgusted noise.
It was getting close to midnight when Tracy, the girl with us, turned to Addie and shocked the hell out of me.
“So, are you two exclusive, Addie, or are you going to share Brian at midnight? You know I’ll share Ron and he’s dying to get in your panties.”
“I… um… well…” Addie turned about five shades of red and even though she still had piles of makeup on, it was obvious she was really embarrassed as she looked over at me. Hell, she hadn’t even kissed me this week and I hadn’t asked. I sure wasn’t going to be giving anything to this Tracy-girl.
“Addison and I are exclusive tonight,” I said firmly. “What she decides to do when I leave town tomorrow is up to her, but tonight, she’s my girlfriend. I hope you aren’t offended, but we’d rather not be in the same room when you two do whatever you plan to.”
“Where did you get this short little stick in the mud,” Tracy sneered.
“I wouldn’t go there if I were you,” Addison said. “Both his feet reach the ground and that’s tall enough for me.” Way to go. That was actually kind of funny and Tracy backed off. Ron looked pretty stoned and I wasn’t sure when he’d managed to slip out and smoke. I was pretty sure Tracy had had a few hits, too. They disappeared a few minutes before midnight. We heard the adults upstairs counting down the seconds. Addison lifted her face to mine and then backed off when I didn’t do anything.
“Addison,” I said, “may I give you a New Year’s kiss?”
“I hope so. Did you have to ask?”
“Yes, actually I did.” I pulled her to me and started giving her a thorough mouth-washing. She talked about her experience, but I didn’t think she’d actually been kissed that much. We were both pretty breathless when we parted. “I hope you’ll stay in touch when I go back to Indiana,” I said. “I’ve really had a great time with you this week.”
“Yes. Is that all? Don’t you want to feel me up and have me go down on you?”
“That’s just not my style,” I said. “I really do have ten girlfriends waiting for me back home and I don’t fool around on them. And before you say it, they gave me advance permission to kiss you.”
“Father talked a lot about your ‘agreement’ when he got back from Allen’s wedding. Could you send me a copy of it? Not that I want to sign it with you exactly, but I’d like to know what it really says. My father had about five pages of legalese spelling out what I could and couldn’t do on a date and tried to get me to sign it. I’d like to see what the real agreement says.”
“I’ll send you a copy and sometime in the next few weeks, I’ll make sure you meet the other parties to the agreement on the phone. Maybe you can come visit. I’ll make you one of my dates for The Homemaker’s Hour with Miss Polly.”
“We get that show out here.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. It’s syndicated on the local Public TV.”
Wow! I wondered if Dad knew that when we signed the contracts. But if it was syndicated, maybe there was a chance that Hannah would see it one day.
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