Guardian Angel
19 Growing Pains
THE SCHOOL YEAR wound down to an end and not a moment too soon. I was really tired and still hurt all the time. I’d sneak into the bathroom at night and take Advil so I could sleep.
I finally made up my mind that I was going to tell Hannah that if she wanted it, the paper route was hers. I still woke up at four-thirty, but I couldn’t face the idea of getting out of bed. I still had a bunch of scrip and a bit of savings and a couple of award trips that I hadn’t taken yet. I was supposed to go to a White Sox game in Chicago this summer and Cary told me that even if I wasn’t carrying papers anymore, I could still go on the trip. Just before I got attacked, I won another weekend at the dude ranch, but I wasn’t sure if I’d take that or not. Maybe Hannah would like to go instead. I just wasn’t interested in much.
We had our first 4-H Foods organizational meeting with Miss Sullivan the last week of school. She was just as beautiful as I remembered her from sixth grade. She said she was moving to Junior High English next year. It was nice to see her. I didn’t know any of the fifteen girls in our group. There was one other boy and he was even geekier than me and, like the girls, two years younger. He and I sat on one side of the room with all the girls on the other side. As I looked around, I decided I was probably the oldest one in the group. I thought I knew one or two of them from the halls around school but they were just coming out of sixth and seventh grade.
Andrew knew three or four of the girls and when we were told to get in groups of four, he was instantly among three of the younger girls. I wandered over and discovered I was odd man out.
“I’ve got special plans for you,” Miss Sullivan whispered in my ear. “Take this station and I’ll join you for demos.” Her breath on my ear caused an instant reaction down south and I was glad there was a table between me and everyone else. It was just a routine introduction to the tools of the trade we’d be using during our class. I knew what everything was. Some of the girls didn’t look like they’d ever been in a kitchen before. We were told that meetings would be on Wednesday afternoons.
After Saturday collections, Hannah came over to our house and I told her I’d like her to take over the paper route permanently. She hugged me. It hurt. We baked cookies for an hour and loaded a batch of hot ones to take to Brenda’s for the year-end party. We both had our suits on under our clothes and were the first ones in the pool.
It was noisier than previous years, but that was just because everyone was having so much fun. Hannah got up on my shoulders for chicken fights and all of a sudden, I had my hands on her bare legs holding her and I got all weak. The first team that touched us put me under the water. I couldn’t keep my balance. I think all my blood had gone to other parts of my body. Well, one other part. Hannah dragged Brenda off into the water with her when I collapsed. Everybody was laughing, but I was dizzy and everything seemed to hurt again.
“I don’t think I can do this,” I panted, pulling myself to the edge of the pool. “I guess my hips and arm still kind of hurt a little bit.” Hannah was really disappointed. “You can still play. Jackson doesn’t have a partner right now.” Hannah’s head snapped around and she grinned.
“Hey, Jackson! Pony up!”
“Is it okay, Brian?” he called to me. I nodded and pulled myself up out of the pool. I still had a bit of a lump in my shorts, but I figured all the guys probably did. That’s what this game was all about. But I couldn’t figure out why I felt so weak. And everything hurt again, almost as bad as when I’d gotten beat up. I stretched out on a deck chair and even with all the racket, I went to sleep.
“Hey! You’ll get sunburned if you don’t come in with us,” Brenda said. My eyes sprang open and the pool was empty. Everybody was filing out of the pool area to head to Brenda’s house. Hannah was in the middle of the group laughing like crazy. I stood up and Brenda looked up at me.
Looked up at me?
It took about a second for Brenda to notice.
“Brian?” She moved right up in front of me, which pushed her generous boobs into my chest and my sudden boner into her stomach. She didn’t back off. She put her hand on top of her head and moved it to my face. It hit me an inch above my eyebrows. She stood back to look. “You’re taller than me! When did you get taller? You’re growing.”
Is that what’s wrong? I’d heard Mom joke about growing pains before, but this really hurt.
“I don’t know, Brenda. I think it just happened like in the last week or two. I’ve been feeling really tired and hurting all over. I thought my jeans shrank when I put them on for school yesterday.”
“I should have noticed. This is so cool! We need to measure you.”
“That’s embarrassing!”
“Come on. You’re still our pet. Your girls get to measure you.” She took my hand and dragged me to her back yard where everybody was grabbing hamburgers and chips. I piled one high with everything I could find and just savored the flavor as I bit into it. Well, there was one good thing about this. At least it wasn’t just holding Hannah’s bare legs in the pool that made me dizzy. But just thinking of that made my breath a little short, so maybe it was. And I was a little jealous that I’d sent her over to Jackson and he’d held her bare legs in the pool while I went to sleep. Crap!
I knew it had to happen. It was some kind of ritual or something now. They made a big production out of measuring my height against a wall in the basement. I was now officially five feet four and a half inches.
“Come on, Hannah,” Brenda called. “Is your boyfriend taller than you now?” Hannah stood tall against the wall and her mark was so close to mine that we lost track of which one was which. “They’re a match!” Brenda called out. In response, everybody yelled out, “Seven minutes in heaven!” We were shoved into the closet and the door closed behind us as Hannah kind of stumbled into my arms.
In past years I'd been pushed into the closet with Cassie once and with Rose once. Each time we'd kissed. Just a little peck for Cassie, but a really sloppy kiss with Rose before I knew what kissing was really about. I knew now, though.
“What is this?” Hannah squeaked. I don’t know what came over me, but I couldn’t help myself. I just kissed her. Not just kissed her, really kissed her like Jessica taught me. At first, I thought she was relaxed and enjoying it, but then I realized she wasn’t doing anything. She was just standing there while I… Oh shit!
“Hannah? Are you okay? I’m sorry, I just wanted to… well, you’re my girlfriend and I wanted to kiss you.”
“No. I want out.” I pushed against the door but it was blocked. I pounded on it and yelled.
“Brenda, open the goddamned door.” I don’t think anybody’d ever heard me swear like that. The door came flying open. Hannah marched out and straight to the stairs. Wouldn’t you know Liz would make a smartass comment right then.
“Can I have the rest of her time?” Hannah turned at the top of the stairs and looked at Liz and the rest of us and burst out crying. I just took off and followed her.
“Hannah, wait, please? I didn’t mean to upset you. You’re my very best friend in the world. I just wanted to show you I love you.” She was at the kitchen phone and turned to me.
“I know you do. And you are my best friend in the world, too. You were the only friend I had and I just wanted someone to play with. I’m not a girlfriend. I don’t want to do any of that stuff. I just don’t have any other friends.”
“You’ve got lots of friends now, though.”
“They’ll all hate me now. I hate me. I’m sorry, Brian. I just thought a boyfriend was a friend who was a boy. Sarah tried to tell me. She told me I should… kiss you, and I tried but… I just don’t want to do that. Please let me still be your friend. I just can’t be your girlfriend.”
“Hannah, you are my friend and I’m sorry I fell in love with you and scared you. I always want to be your friend. And I’ll make sure everybody here stays your friend. I’ll beat them to a pulp if they don’t.”
“Don’t do that.”
“You won’t have to, Brian,” Brenda said from behind us. “I knew it wasn’t right and it’s my fault, Hannah. I pushed you two in there without thinking about how you really felt. It was obvious, but we all want to make up romance, especially where our friends are concerned. Please don’t leave the party. I promise, we are all your friends, even if you and Brian aren’t boyfriend and girlfriend.”
“Really, Brenda?” Hannah rushed to my other friend and hugged her.
“Really, but just remember that when we tell people that you and Brian broke up, there’s going to be a bunch of hot girls going after him. And you are probably going to be asked out by several boys.”
“I don’t think I’ll be going out much right now,” I said. “Remember, we’re still best friends.”
“I know. Just warning you.”
I held it together pretty well through the rest of the party and Mom picked us up to take Hannah home. Hannah hugged me at her door. (Mom said I always had to walk my date to her door. No exceptions, no matter what.)
“Are you okay, Brian?” Mom asked in the car.
“Yeah.” I just couldn’t say anything else.
“You don’t look okay just now.”
“Can we talk about it in the morning? I’m really tired.”
“Okay. In the morning.”
When I was pretty sure everyone was asleep, I crept downstairs and out to the hayloft. Then I started bawling.
Mom, Dad, and even Betts came stumbling out to the kitchen at seven-thirty to the smell of coffee, frying bacon, waffles, and eggs. They accepted my humble offering with wide eyes.
“To what do we owe this breakfast treat,” Mom asked.
“It’s Betts’ graduation day,” I announced. “She needs to start the day with a healthy breakfast.”
“I could have started it a couple hours later with a healthy breakfast,” she groused. “What is this? These waffles are delicious!”
“Blueberries. I was thinking that if I can’t make it as a chemist, maybe I’ll be a cook.”
“Yeah. You can cook breakfast for me every day as long as I can sleep later.”
“Hannah and I broke up.”
Even Betts dropped her fork.
“I just want you to know in case anyone says something today. You know, at graduation or something. It’s okay. She’s still my best friend. It’s just the boyfriend/girlfriend part that’s changed. And I gave her my paper route. I guess I need to find another job.”
“Wow!” Dad said. “Are you all right, Son?”
“Yeah. I’m all right now. Mostly.” I was blindsided. My sister had me wrapped in her arms and she was crying. I patted her on the back. She was so schizoid. She sniffed a little and then went back to her plate and shoveled in more blueberry waffle.
“Mostly?” Mom said after the interruption.
“Yeah. I hurt, Mom. I don’t mean my heart hurts. It does, but what can you expect? I mean I hurt all over. Look!” I pointed down at my feet. My jeans were two inches above my shoes.
“Oh my! You’re growing! Let’s see how tall you are.”
“Officially five feet four-and-a-half inches as of yesterday, but I don’t think I’m quite done. My legs hurt and my arms hurt and my chest hurts. I thought it was still from the injuries. But I think it’s because I’m growing.”
“I thought we were done with growing pains,” Mom said.
“Well, I’m glad he’s growing,” Dad said.
“Me too,” Betts said. “Maybe no more bullies will attack him.”
“Well the last batch is in jail—though I’m not sure I approve of your methods, Brian,” Mom said.
“Now, now,” Dad said. “We already know what it’s like if he only depends on his friends to protect him. He used his brain and didn’t get into a fight.”
“You should have seen him, Mom. He was awesome. He scared me so badly I almost killed him. Can I have another waffle, please?” I poured more batter on the hot iron and gave Betts the one I’d just pulled off for myself. “Will you do my hair for graduation and take me over to Doreen’s. We’re riding to commencement together.”
Well, that was that. My break-up and growing pains were forgotten and the rest of the day was all about Betts.
Like most of these things, Betts’ graduation was long. The parents, of course, all had reserved seats on the floor of the gymnasium. We lowly brothers, sisters, and friends were up in the bleachers. It felt like it was ninety degrees. Doug found me and a couple other friends. I was surprised to see Jessica there and she made her way over to sit by us. Rose was there, too. Her sister was graduating, too. I ended up wedged between Jessica and Rose and they each took one of my hands to hold. It was just a gesture of friends, but it felt really good.
“Call me and we’ll do something this summer,” Rose said casually. I smiled at her and she raised her eyebrows. I wasn’t thinking about dating, but I hadn’t spent much time with Rose this year and I was thinking I needed to spend time with all my friends this summer. I nodded.
We headed out through the doors where all the grads stood in line to be greeted by friends and family. I spotted Reggie first and gave him a high five. I got fist bumps from the rest of the front five. Doreen grabbed me and laid a kiss on me that curled my toes. Holy crap! What was that about? “Twenty-two,” she whispered. Behind me, she grabbed her brother and I could see the boner he popped from where I was. “Twenty-three,” she said.
I said congratulations to my sister and she nodded. “I’ll see you out here in four years, got it shrimp?” I nodded back. I looked back and saw my parents headed back up the outside of the line to get behind Betts for pictures. Jessica nudged my elbow. I looked into those beautiful blue eyes I loved so much.
“Can you sleep in the hayloft tonight?” she whispered. Hell yes! I didn’t trust my voice. It was usually pretty stable now, but at times like this it still cracked and split two octaves at once. I nodded. “Later.” She went on to join her friends.
The “official” party at our house only lasted until about eight. The real party started when Betts and Doreen left to go to the next party on their circuit. The real party was all the adults congratulating Mom and Dad on getting through Betts’ high school years. It looked like it was going to go on for a long time, judging by the bottles of champagne I saw. Occasionally, I got pulled aside and asked what my plans were, but when I went to Mom and told her I was taking my sleeping bag and sleeping in the hayloft she nodded.
“Pretty noisy in here, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, but this way you won’t need to worry about whether I can sleep. I’m still on that sleep early, rise early thing and I’m tired.”
“Will you be okay?”
“I have my sleeping bag and water bottle. I can pee in the horse stall.” She laughed.
“Okay. See you in the morning.”
“Congratulations, Mom.” She looked at me. “You survived Betts. Just four more years and you’re olly olly all in free!” She laughed, swatted me on my butt and I headed for the hayloft.
Jessica was already there. She had a blanket but was happy to see I’d brought my sleeping bag.
“I finally had to tell Mom I couldn’t sleep in the house tonight,” I said. “Sorry I’m so late.”
“It’s not that late for me. It’s scarcely ten,” Jessica said as we made our bed. I remembered our last time up here and how we kissed. I started to stiffen in my shorts. She was wearing a kind of shorty pajama set with shorts and a pullover top. When she got my sleeping bag spread out she spread the blanket on top of it and arranged our pillows. Instead of climbing in, though, she sat cross-legged on top of it and beckoned me to do the same.
“Jessica, I love when we get together but I don’t know what I’m really like tonight,” I said.
“I know. That’s why we’re here. Tell me about it, Brian. We don’t see each other to just talk all that often. But I’m still your friend. Tell me all about it.”
“I don’t want to cry again,” I whimpered, knowing that tears were still only a breath away. She held out her arms and I leaned against her. She held me and rocked me.
“Sarah told me a little. I really thought it would work out okay when I suggested Hannah introduce herself to you last fall.”
“You did that?”
“Yes. I’m sorry. I didn’t know she just wasn’t ready and you seemed so happy.” I looked up and kissed Jessica lightly but intensely on the lips. Her eyes popped open in surprise.
“Thank you. You really are the best friend a guy could ever have.”
“I thought… I was afraid you’d be mad at me.” I shook my head, which was really just rubbing my face against her chest.
“I love Hannah,” I said. “She’s the sweetest and most fun person my age I’ve ever met.” Jessica huffed a little at my age reference. “I’m just never going to try anything with a girl again unless I know for sure it’s what she wants. I can never thank you enough for bringing Hannah into my life. It hurts so much that she doesn’t want to be my girlfriend,” I choked out. “But this has been the best year of my life so far. Thank you.”
“Even with getting beat to a pulp?”
“I could have done without that, maybe.” We both sort of snorted and then laughed.
“I just want you to be happy, Brian.”
“You know what would make me happy.”
“Can’t happen. I’m going to be a junior. You’ll be a freshman. When you’re a junior and can really be out and dating and having fun, I’ll be gone. We just can’t ever be that.”
“Are you leaving for the summer again?” I pulled back from Jessica and flopped back on the hay. She cuddled up beside me.
“Yeah. I leave next Sunday. I’m going to Paris. There is a modeling school there that has great contacts. Nearly every model that has ever gone there has been on the cover of a famous magazine. Brian, it’s possible that I will have to leave school and be tutored until I graduate. My coaches and agent say I’ve got real potential. I’m scared.”
It was me doing the comforting now. It wasn’t just our age that was going to prevent us from ever dating or being boyfriend and girlfriend. Jessica already had a career and it could be taking her away before she even graduated. I held her tight.
“I’ll always be here, Jessica. Whenever you say, I’ll be here.”
“Don’t do that, Brian. You’re fourteen and I’m sixteen. We’re young. Believe me the next four years are going to be the most fun years of your life. Don’t cut anyone off waiting for me. Enjoy every minute with everyone you can.”
We lay there for a while and in spite of everything, I was getting drowsy.
“It’s going to be really lonesome here with everyone gone,” I said. “Not that Betts and Drew were great company, but with you gone, I’ll be the only one out here.”
“I’m really proud of you, Brian. When I think about you every day, I think how you rescued me when I was attacked. I think how you spotted that gang and protected Betts and me. I think of how you faced them all down at school. And…” Jessica sighed. “I think of Crystal Lake. Hold me, Brian. And tell me you’ll always be my friend. I’ll always be here for you, Brian. Even when I’m not here, I’ll be watching out for you.” She turned and kissed me. I kissed the tears off her cheeks and she kissed the tears from mine. They were gentle soft kisses but as we lay there together, the kisses became more passionate. We rubbed against each other, just rubbing our sex together through our pajamas. I knew I wasn’t going to last long like this.
“Uh… Jessica… I’m…”
“Go ahead, sweetheart,” she panted. “I’m going to.” I felt my cock start spurting in my underwear and Jessica stiffened and moaned into my mouth. She kept grinding against me long after it was too sensitive to be comfortable for me. It took us a while to get our hearts down to a point where they weren’t too loud to hear over. Finally, Jessica rolled onto her other side and pulled me up against her back. Then she led my hand up under her shirt to cup her breast. She held my hand there all night long.
Comments
Please feel free to send comments to the author at devon@devonlayne.com.
