Blackfeather
29 Wolf
I WAS CRYING my eyes out. So many tears I couldn’t even read the note in front of me.
Oh God, no! Please don’t let it be Jason!
“Demon Ramie. It is too late to help.” Miranda moaned.
Please tell me what it says. I can’t see through your tears. Please, Miranda!
“Theresa. White Horse. The army sent him away. Told him he had to go to the reservation. They no longer need Indian scouts. He came in the middle of the night and Theresa simply packed a sack and went with him. She says she is going with the man she loves and will bear him many children.”
I’m sorry, Miranda. It’s all for the best. Theresa and White Horse love each other. She is safe.
“So you say.”
Where is Katie?
“She went to open the store. I could not stop weeping.”
She listlessly boiled water and made tea to ease the soreness in her throat caused by crying. As we drank the weak tea, she stood and retrieved a large book from above the mantel. She opened it and prepared a fresh pen and ink.
What is that?
“It is the Bell family Bible.” Miranda opened the big book and I saw the words ‘Jonathan Bell m. Clara Adams, 1852. Daughter Theresa Ranae Bell b. 1853.’ Below was the date of Clara’s death. On the next page was Theresa’s name. Miranda wrote in neat script below her name, ‘m. the Cheyenne brave White Horse, 20 June 1872.’
And suddenly I knew.
The Bell Family Bible I had seen in my father’s hands. I’d read that script. This Bible had to go with Theresa Ranae.
We have to leave and catch her. Miranda it is urgent. We must take Theresa the family Bible.
“Why? She left hours ago. I do not even know which direction she went. She obviously doesn’t care about a family Bible.”
Miranda… What I hid from you… What I couldn’t tell you was that Theresa and White Horse are my great-great-great-great-grandparents. That Bible has been handed down through the generations. She has to take it with her.
“You ask too much, Ramie. Even if we had a horse and wagon, we could never catch them.”
We can. I know where they will go before they move to the reservation. It is a place that has always been special in our family. It holds the spirits of all our ancestors. But we must get a horse and go now.
“I do not know how.”
Miranda! I have helped you whenever you’ve called on me. You’ve summoned me in times of distress. You left me in your body to find my way across Missouri. I have never asked one thing of you for my benefit. Please. I’m begging you now.
“My dear Friend Ramie. We must go tell Katie and then you must drive.”
Katie recognized me as soon as I walked into the store. Fortunately, there were no customers when she rushed to wrap her arms around me. After we had kissed, I explained what we had to do and promised that I would return to her. Katie closed the shop and ran to pack us food for our trip. I went to the livery stable located on the block behind our home.
Mr. Ingersoll at the livery was a wily character. He knew horseflesh and exactly how much he could get for a horse. But he had a reputation for good stock.
“I need a horse and saddle,” I said when we walked into the stable.
“Good day to you, Miss Lewis. A horse, you say?” he was quickly contemplating how much he could earn from us. “Well now, I’ve a nice gentle nag that I could part with, I suppose. Let me see.” I felt Miranda breathe a sigh of relief at the words ‘gentle nag.’
“That won’t do. I need a fast horse.”
“Miss Lewis, a horse is not fast if you cannot ride it.”
“Ah. You have one.”
“Well, yes. But he is scarcely broke and certainly not gentled.”
“Let me see.”
“Certainly, Miss Lewis, but he is breeding stock and I will not sell him cheaply.” He led me to the corral.
Unbelievable. Do animals have past lives? I swore I saw my own Pooky.
“He is a bit spirited. If you worked with him under my guidance for a few weeks he could be a good horse, but he is only three years old. I certainly cannot put a lady of your refinement on his back.”
“Pooky!” I called. The black stallion lifted his head at my voice. After a moment’s hesitation he began to amble toward me. “Fifty dollars and I want that old saddle and bridle with a clean blanket.”
“Why that horse, if you could ride it, would be worth a hundred dollars.”
“But you have already told me I cannot ride it, n’est-ce pas? Fifty dollars. Gold. Now.” When he saw the five gold eagles in my hand, Mr. Ingersoll decided to sell me a horse. He pointed me at the saddle and said he would write up a bill of sale.
Miranda was atwitter in the back of my head, but she was still strong from a rigorous physical life. I tossed the blanket on Pooky’s back as I continued to talk to him.
“I see they gave you your balls back, fellow,” I said. He looked at me and snorted. “Of course, I’ll see that you get a chance to use them. You are a fine, handsome man and deserve to sire many foals.” I threw the saddle over his back. He side-stepped a little but I soothed him and pulled the cinch around his chest. “Now give us a blow there, boy,” I said soothingly as I lifted a knee to his chest. He blew the air out of his lungs scattering snot everywhere. Mr. Ingersoll returned with the slip of paper saying we owned the horse.
“Glory be,” he said looking over the job of cinching the saddle. I could tell he had planned to give me instructions on how to handle my horse. I took the paper and led Pooky out of the corral and across the plot between the livery and the back of Miranda’s store. There I tied him to the doorpost.
“This would be easier in our buckskins,” I told Katie as we came into the room.
Theresa wore them when she left. I will not wear trousers again.
“Yes, yes. I know. It would be much easier.”
“Husband Ramie, I brought the Henry and your gun belt from the store.”
“You are a good wife, Katie,” I said lovingly. I kissed her thoroughly and wished I could stay to love her like she wanted. I strapped the gun around my waist
People will stare!
“We will only be in town a few minutes. And they already know you can use it.” I put the Henry in the scabbard and slung Katie’s carefully packed saddlebags over Pooky. I tied the blanket Katie handed me and started to mount.
I nearly fell on my ass.
I will not spread my legs around that animal. Demon Ramie, you must consider my reputation. I hope to come back here and marry!
“Jesus Christ, Miranda!”
Do not take the name of the Lord in vain.
“Right, right. Sidesaddle? Really? I’m going to have such a sore ass. And it’s your fault.”
I will bear my sorrows for the Lord.
“No more religion, Miranda! Let’s ride.”
I had to use the steps to get mounted, sitting awkwardly across the hard saddle. It was barely a strip of leather fastened to the wooden frame. Pooky danced around a bit while I got settled. That finally shut Miranda up and I managed to get control of things.
“Katie, my love, if Jason returns before I do, please tell him I have gone to the Medicine Bow Ridge due west of here. I would welcome his company.”
“Travel safely and swiftly, Husband Ramie,” Katie said. “Return to me, my love.”
Riding sidesaddle is not comfortable. And if you are doing it on a standard western saddle instead of one made to be ridden sidesaddle, it’s like putting your shoe on sideways. I finally managed to convince Miranda that she could sit facing forward instead of facing the side with her left foot in the stirrup and her right knee hooked behind the horn. At least this way we had some control.
I just knew where White Horse and Theresa would go before they headed for the reservation and Black Kettle’s Northern Cheyenne. I was headed to the same spot where the raven called me 150 years from now. It was where Theresa would one day bring Laramie back and she would meet Kyle Redtail.
Thirty miles, even on a strong horse like Pooky, is still a long day’s ride and it was fully dark as we ascended the ridge. I kept scanning the surrounding area for signs of a fire. We were getting tired and I was nodding off as Pooky continued to climb. I jerked awake to a lovely sensation. Someone was playing with my sweet spot and I had a little fantasy of Aubrey and me. Then I realized I wasn’t in control anymore and Miranda was diddling herself as we rode. And we were getting close. She had her eyes squeezed closed and I couldn’t see where we were. I tried to get control, but stopping a woman in the middle of an orgasm isn’t easy. Miranda cried out and I let the pleasure of her sensations wash over me.
Pooky sidestepped a little and Miranda lost her balance. Her eyes flew open and I saw we were next to a rocky outcropping. Pooky had stepped aside to go around a huge boulder. I snatched at control of Miranda’s body as she was flailing and tried to dismount but her long skirts got tangled up in the horn and the stirrup and one hand was still inside her skirt. I fell from that big horse and there was nothing I could do about it. We hit the ground hard and my left foot twisted under me. I cried out with the pain.
“I knew it was a bad idea to come out here. I don’t even know where we are!” Miranda cried. “I can’t move my foot.”
Masturbating in the middle of the night while riding sidesaddle was the bad idea. Whatever possessed you?
“You went to sleep and were having such a lovely dream that I couldn’t help myself.”
So, it’s my fault. Actually, I remembered snippets of that dream and it was a bit distracting.
I took back control and experimented with my left leg. There was no way I was going to stand up. My ass was sore from the long day in the saddle and it felt like I was bruised all across the inside of my right leg where I’d caught it on the horn and pommel. I managed to sit upright against the boulder. Pooky was a few yards away where he’d found a patch of grass to munch. I heard wolves howl off in the distance. They were on a hunt, but not a danger to us at the moment.
“I’m cold.”
No kidding. Can you think of any way to get the bedroll off the saddle that is on a horse ten yards away and six feet tall?
“You’re the western ranch girl. You should know these things.”
At least we have your shawl on.
“It’s ruined.” She was quiet, but shaking with sobs. I was trying desperately to figure out how to call Pooky and climb up the saddle to grab the blanket. But I was so tired. “I can’t feel my foot. I’m going to die out here and no one will even know.”
I think we overshot where I was heading. There should be a spring near here.
There was no response from Miranda. She was going into shock. I had no idea if my mind could control a body that was in shock. I doubted it. No more than if I tried to force her to stand on her broken ankle. The pain would knock me out the same as it would her.
I looked at Pooky and tried to create a strategy for getting what I needed. I couldn’t even light a fire. I was so sure we’d overtake Theresa and White Horse long before now that I hadn’t stopped early enough to camp. I was stupid. Stupid. I looked up further. On the outcropping there was a shadow hopping back and forth. I wasn’t sure at first, but in a minute it flitted down to the saddle and kept looking at us.
“No! Don’t leave me! Don’t leave me to die by myself. Ramie, please.”
Don’t worry. I’m not leaving you. Old Blackfeather can caw all he wants. I’m staying right here. You hear me, old crow?
I fingered the revolver still at my side. He sat on the saddle and nodded his head up and down as if he understood me.
Now we have to get our blanket and our rifle. This is going to hurt.
I firmly took control of Miranda and she watched in a daze.
“Pooky,” I spoke softly. “Here, boy.”
He looked at me but shuffled over. Then he nervously backed away. Wolves howled again. Closer. Glowing eyes in the darkness. No. Miranda was imagining things and I was letting her control me.
“Pooky. I won’t mount. Come and let me loosen your cinch.” I tried to send him calm thoughts in the midst of his nervousness with the wolves howling closer. He got close enough that I could reach up and touch the straps. This was going to hurt like hell, but we’d both be safer. I grabbed the cinch and pulled myself up on my right leg. Miranda cried out in pain. Or I did. It hurt.
I fumbled with the cinch strap trying to get it loose. It would be easier than untying everything from the saddle. When the straps let go, I tugged at the saddle.
Everything hurt. Tears were leaking out of my eyes as the saddle and all its gear slid toward me. I estimated my saddle and gear weighed well over 100 pounds and Miranda didn’t weigh much if any more. I fell under the weight as the raven lifted from the sliding tack. This was going to hurt again, but just as I felt my head hitting the boulder, I heard the raven’s call.
I expected to find myself back in my own body on that ridge with Kyle looking at wolves a mile away. Instead I was just suspended there. I saw Miranda hit the rock and slump into unconsciousness with the saddle lying half on her. Pooky moved farther away and still looked nervous. Was she dead? Raven, please don’t let her be dead. She is… she’s a part of me. I love her.
I saw her bosom heave. She wasn’t dead.
I heard the wolves again and this time I wasn’t imagining glowing eyes through Miranda’s subconscious. I was seeing through Blackfeather’s one good eye.
I’m in the damned raven!
This wasn’t possible. Even though I could still hear the baying of the wolf pack on their hunt, they were nowhere near us. Yet one gray wolf stood in the flickering moonlight as clouds began to clear and looked at us.
No! Don’t make me watch him kill her. Stop it!
I didn’t even try to control the bird body I was in or try to read the unintelligible thoughts that flitted through his mind. I watched as the scene kept shifting with the bird’s bobbing head. The wolf came a step closer. Pooky edged farther away. The wolf wasn’t looking at Miranda or the horse. He was fixed on the bird. It was like they were having some kind of silent communication I couldn’t tap into.
The wolves that attacked me… The strange wolves Kyle and I spotted across the valley… They were pale imitations of the beast in front of me. He was of mythical proportions. I guessed he might stand three feet tall on all fours. Close to seven feet if he stood on his hinds. He was silver gray in the moonlight. We were four beings on the mountain who should never be together. A mythical wolf, a horse, an unconscious woman, and a bird who seemed to control it all. And me.
Wolf bowed his head and then looked back at Raven with what looked like a nod.
Raven cawed.
Lonely. Alone for so long.
I was overwhelmed by the sense of aloneness. My heart broke. I realized I was seeing the world from the eyes of the wolf.
No pack mates for cycles of the seasons uncounted. Alone. Always alone.
The wolf was still gorged on the kill it ate before the sun rose. I was relieved that Pooky held no interest for him. The helpless female—My god! I’d never seen Miranda through the eyes of another being. She was so beautiful. To the wolf, she was not food. He knew she was female. No matter the species, females smell different. As he recognized my presence in his body, he shook his body from head to tail like shaking off water and wondered why Blackfeather called him here? Briefly, he considered putting the injured out of her misery.
NO! I screamed in his mind. He shook again.
He approached Miranda’s supine form and took in the strange smells all around her. He’d seen these creatures but avoided them. They were not food. They were dangerous. They did not know food from not food and killed indiscriminately. Like the hounds in the valley below. They had gorged but still hunted. The wolf’s senses and condemnation of his own kind were flooding my consciousness.
I sniffed. I was beginning to get a feel for my host—separate my human senses from my wolf senses. I sniffed her feet encased in leather. I pushed my nose up under the folds that covered her and here caught strong scent of her heat. It was not unpleasant, even for the wolf. I caused my host to hesitate a moment and take another deep breath of her scent. I licked her bare thigh where it was bruised from the saddle horn and she shifted as I withdrew. I continued my investigation of her body, poking under the saddle and pushing it aside. Combined scents of long dead food, the horse who nervously watched, and the female.
She was cold. She would heal as she slept. The wolf would see to that. He soothed her, rumbling deep in his throat, trying to tell her she had nothing to fear. There was a scent of blood near her ear. He licked it. Sweet, but not food. He sent healing energy into her skull. Her breathing evened out into calm sleep. He returned to her feet, covered in old leather. The boots made it difficult to touch… to lick… to heal. He sent healing into her leg. It would knit, though not so well as if he could have licked it.
She was cold. Wolf stretched out on her sharing the heat of his body and fur. In her dream, she nestled into his fur as if she were a pup. She slept.
I watched. I was overwhelmed by the primal instincts of Wolf. He had paced me for years. Ever since Baltimore, where he looked at me through the captive wolf’s eyes. He had killed game for me. He had looked balefully at me when I dared think I could shoot him.
Wolf had a strange relationship with Raven—Grandsire Blackfeather. Raven had called him with the promise of a pack. Wolf had been alone for what should have been many generations. Raven had promised me to him.
It chilled my soul.
Miranda buried her hands in his coat, and I felt her grasping my fur.
Miranda awoke to me/Wolf licking her face. The sun was coming up and Wolf was anxious to fade into the shadow. I was amused at Miranda’s reaction to my presence. She was petting Wolf’s fur when her eyes came open. He licked across her face and lips. She inhaled as if she would never exhale. In fact, she did not exhale until she passed out.
“Wolf,” she squeaked when she woke again. “You are a wolf.” I tried to send comforting vibes to her and felt her relax. “You did not eat me in the night. Will you spare me this morning as well?” She pushed herself up. Wolf rose and stepped away from her to mark a nearby bush. That was an interesting feeling. Do human men feel that when they piss? “That is an excellent idea,” she said and stepped downhill a few paces to lift her skirts and squat. To Wolf, it seemed strange for an animal to waste all its urine in one spot. The horse, seeming to have gotten used to me, stretched forward and did the same thing. His urine ran down on the off side of the boulder.
Miranda, having finished her business, stood to assess her situation.
“I can stand and walk!” she suddenly exclaimed as though the realization had just burst into her consciousness. “Last night I was sure my ankle was broken. And my head.” She felt through her thick tresses. “Ramie? Are you here? I can’t feel you. I’m always so alone when you leave.” She scowled at Blackfeather, who had returned to his post on the ledge. Wolf snuffled at her hand. She absently petted our fur.
“Wait? You? Are you there, Ramie?” I simply stood there. It felt good when she scratched behind my ears. I tried to send her warm thoughts but I wasn’t certain I was getting through. “Who would ever believe I spent the night cuddled against the warm fur of a giant wolf, with a horse and a bird standing by?” Miranda mused. Wolf stepped away from her, looking back the way we’d come and growled low in his throat. Miranda stepped to his side and followed our gaze. Two Indian ponies were headed our way. I knew at once they must be White Horse and Theresa. Wolf turned and trotted toward the woods. Blackfeather swooped low, grabbing hold of his fur and cawed.
We were gone.
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