Blackfeather
27 Hard to Do
I WAS CURLED UP in the middle of the bed with my knees against my nose crying when Aubrey found me. The raven called again. I felt the tug but stayed in Aubrey’s arms. I buried my face between her breasts and continued to weep. Before I drifted off to sleep, I felt Kyle lie on my other side and hold both of us.
How could I ever explain this to my precious Aubrey? Four. I’d killed three men and a woman. It made no difference how Pa had tried to assure me that it was not me. I held the knife. I pulled the trigger. And I hadn’t even been able to stay and defend Miranda. I might have gotten her hung! For the first time Kyle and I recognized each other at the same time. Then I was gone, leaving him to clean up my mess.
Why couldn’t it just be a dream? Why couldn’t I wake up?
Kyle was behind Aubrey when I finally woke up Sunday morning. But he was reaching across her to hold me, as well. We were all three naked as babies. I got out of bed, pulled on a robe and went to take a shower. When I came out, Kyle was dressed and sitting on the sofa. Aubrey slipped behind me, still naked, and went in to shower. As soon as the door closed, Kyle motioned me to the sofa. I sat down and he pulled me to him with his arm around me.
“We were there,” he whispered. “At the same time, or close enough to it. I think old Blackfeather might be synchronizing us at last.”
“You saw me. You saw me kill her.”
“Ramie, you saved my life. Jason’s life. She hit him but just a scratch. He’s fine and Miranda and Katie and Theresa are fine. Everyone in the street supported you and declared it was both self-defense and defense of a soldier,” he said.
“How can it be both?” I laughed. It was a relief to know we were all okay.
“You know how people are. Some said she was shooting at you and missed. They swear the stray bullet hit Jason. Others say they were reaching for their guns to stop her firing on the cavalry but Miranda was faster. You know, by the way, that your stance is real twenty-first century.”
“Can’t help it,” I answered. “Kurt taught me. It weighs almost exactly what my Remington 1911 weighs and it’s comfortable to hold it that way.”
“There was one other witness,” Kyle said softly. “John says he saw a wolf guide the bullet. Of course, I’m the only one he’s told that.”
“Thank God. He’s right, you know? That damned wolf has been stalking me for months and months. I met him first in Baltimore. He scares the bejeezus out of me, but he hasn’t harmed me.”
“I didn’t see him. I guess he’s somehow tied to you. Probably from this.” Kyle stroked my neck. I was only wearing my robe so I hadn’t tied on a bandana yet. I felt a chill go down my spine.
“You know about John and Theresa?”
“That they are in love? Got to be careful with that. They are really playing with fire.”
“They’re our grandparents, Kyle. Well, what’s that come out to? Our four-times-great-grandparents. Theresa Ranae Bell and White Horse were Laramie Wyoming Bell’s parents.”
“Holy shit! I never connected that. It never even registered that her last name was Bell. That means that scoundrel who sold you into prostitution was our ancestor, too. Shit, shit, shit.”
We sat there quietly for a few minutes until we heard the shower turn off.
“Thank you for comforting me last night, Kyle. You’ve always got my back.” I got up and went to get ready for Sunday dinner.
I didn’t have much time to think about what had happened in January of 1871. It was a good thing, I suppose. I’d have driven myself crazy. The first week of college classes pretty much set my schedule. We dropped the kids at the high school on our way to class. Kyle and I had several of the same classes, but Mom Ash had encouraged us to choose different specialties in our major so we could cover more territory.
We were both determined to major in Equine Science but decided to have complementary minors. Mine would be in Farm and Ranch Management and Kyle would minor in Agricultural Business. We were booked for a full load of 17 semester hours each. And they hit us hard starting on day one. We ended the week looking forward to Labor Day just so we could catch up on our reading.
Aubrey was majoring in Physiology and Kinesiology and we had no classes together at all. I wondered what good that degree would do on a ranch, but then I had to stop and think about it. Kyle and I hired Aubrey to do our books and accounting, but we hadn’t talked to her about actually becoming a part of the ranch one day. I guess I just took it for granted that when she moved in with us it was going to be forever.
Well, maybe it would be, but we were only eighteen and I considered that too young to talk about forever. Still, we’d been invited to Shelby’s wedding three weeks after we graduated and it was obvious, she was pregnant. And she was happy about it. We hadn’t been close since she and Forrest broke up, but I still considered her a friend. I’d have to talk to Aubrey about what she felt. It wasn’t like we were fucking each other every night. In fact, I didn’t think any of us had made love since school started.
By the last week of October, I started feeling like I’d about got the hang of college life. Then midterms hit and it was just as bad as the first week. We were up and studying in the living room until all hours of the early morning. Aubrey said she needed to meet with a study group over the weekend so she stayed at her parents’ house. It was sad that we were in such different circles at school.
“Kyle.” I threw my book on the floor. Our first exam in equine health was Monday morning and I was as ready as I was ever going to be. But if I didn’t get my head on straight it wouldn’t matter. I missed Aubrey. Kyle jumped and closed his book. He had the same exam and I know he knew everything as well as I did.
“What, Ramie?”
“We need to talk to Aubrey.”
“She ain’t here.”
“That’s the point.” I could already feel my throat closing up and tears in my eyes. “I don’t think she’s happy here. I think we’re losing her.” Kyle scooted over on the couch and put an arm around me. I looked up at him and could see the truth in his eyes. He felt the same way I did. Since school started, we’d hardly done anything fun and didn’t even have sex much. Even this weekend when we were trying to study for mid-terms, we’d had to spend Saturday getting a new boarder squared away.
“What are we going to do, Ramie?” he asked. “I don’t want to lose her. But we hardly see her except at night and then we aren’t even studying the same subjects. I really love her.”
“I do, too. We’ve got to talk to her.”
“I know the answer to everything is ‘talk about it’. Ramie, we’ve got exams this week. We’re studying our fucking asses off. And that rescue organization is dropping six horses off on Wednesday. Right when we have our stupid English Lit exam.”
“That’s part of the problem. We have to cut back on new business. I’ll talk to Pa about how to slow down. I never expected to have so many horses so soon,” I said.
“What do we tell Aubrey?”
“I don’t think we need to tell her anything. We need to ask her how we can make her happy. I can’t stand not having her here. If we can’t do it during the week, we have to do it next weekend. If she’s still our girlfriend by then.”
Aubrey spent another night at her parents’ house because she had a midterm at seven on Tuesday morning. But she came home with us Tuesday night. We all had English Lit exams on Wednesday, but at different times. It was one of those required classes all freshmen had to take but that had a dozen different sections.
We raced home to receive the six horses from the rescue organization. There was paperwork and we had to isolate them from the other horses while we got them acclimated to our ranch. That meant moving the boarders to the paddock and the new horses to our little pasture. We got hay out for them and then had to sign all the papers. The good part about working with this organization was that they were a non-profit and actually paid us a small stipend to take the horses they’d rescued. We’d spent two days with them this summer as they inspected our operation and had a vet come out to check the health of our other rescues. It was pretty intense, but they also didn’t have places for the horses they rescued and we’d agreed that we could take a dozen this year.
“I have to go study,” Aubrey announced as we were working with them.
“Okay, baby,” I said. “We have to work with these guys but you don’t.”
“It just never stops! I’ll put some spaghetti on for dinner.” She caught Kyle and gave him a smooch and then headed for the apartment. I watched her go.
“Aubrey, we need to talk.” We’d all gone out to a concert Friday night to celebrate finishing our exams. Aubrey had crashed with Kyle and by the sounds of it, they had their own little celebration. It gave me a warm feeling in my tummy. But Saturday was more of the same work, chores, and catching up. By evening, we were all ready to relax and unwind. I plopped down on the couch next to my girlfriend.
Aubrey looked up and saw Kyle approaching. He sat on her other side. She looked back at me and started crying.
“You’re going to break up with me! I’m a terrible girlfriend and you hate me,” she wailed. Shit! Kyle and I sandwiched her in a big hug.
“No, we’re not, honey,” Kyle said. “We don’t want to break up with you. Is that what you want?”
“No. Maybe. I’m not a good girlfriend. I love you so much!”
“It’s been a really tough fall and we’ve all been a little crazy,” I whispered as I kissed her ear. “Are you unhappy, honey? That’s what we’re really afraid of. We’re afraid we’re losing you.” Aubrey’s tears came out in a flood and I started crying, too.
“I love you. I don’t want to lose you. But I’m not happy like we used to be.”
“Tell us, baby.”
“We worked hard this summer, but we had fun. We went out to the Cowboy Bar on teen night. We saw a few friends. We went to a movie. Now we’re in college and there’s all this stuff we could be doing! There’s ballgames, and sororities, and clubs, and the Union. We don’t do any of it. Last night was the first night we did something fun all fall,” she moaned.
“I just didn’t realize how much work college was going to be,” Kyle sighed. “We’ve hardly even made love in the past two months.”
“It’s not just college,” Aubrey sputtered. She took a deep breath. “We live way the fuck out here in the country. It takes us forty-five minutes to drive to class… make that fifty-five when we’re dropping the kids off at the high school and have to find a parking place. We go to class and the library, meet up as soon as we’re done, and drive home. As soon as we get here, there’s all the chores to be done. And after dinner, there’s studying. Last week I walked right through here without a stitch of clothing on and neither one of you even looked up from your books.”
“I’m the bad girlfriend,” I sighed. “I just ain’t been paying attention.”
“It sucks if you’ve got a boyfriend and a girlfriend and neither one of them pays attention to you,” Kyle added. “I’m sorry, Aubs. I love you. I just been overwhelmed.”
“That’s… not all,” she said, hanging her head. I could see that look.
“No. Aubrey, please don’t say you met somebody and want…”
“Ramie! When would I have the fucking time to meet somebody?” she shouted. “Even if I had an interest in it. I could barely work out time to meet with a study group.” She was angry now. I felt like I’d stepped in a fresh cow pie. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. The thing is that I always thought college was where I’d go and make a bunch of friends and figure out what I wanted to do with my life. Like, do I like kinesiology enough to become a Physical Therapist? But you two have your lives figured out already. You’ve got a business and it takes as much of your time as school does. You’ve got an apartment on a ranch where you figure you’ll spend the rest of your lives. You already have your career and are just attending college to enhance what you already know. Life’s set and we haven’t even done anything yet!”
There was a lot of truth in what Aubrey was saying. If we’d only kept working the ranch as part of the family cattle business, we’d have taken off this fall and lived in a dormitory. We even used the business as an excuse to get the apartment and stay at the ranch. All I could do was shake my head.
“What about making new friends? What about traveling to new places and experiencing new things? What about wild parties, for Christ’s sake? All the stuff we thought college would be when we were in high school?”
Kyle looked at me. We really screwed this up. We were older. Not that our ages were different. Aubrey’s birthday was between Kyle’s and mine. But Kyle and I had both lived extra months—years—in the bodies of other people. We’d tried to save President Lincoln. I’d been kidnapped. I’d killed four people. Kyle rode with the Dragoons and massacred helpless Indians. I’d lived off the land. In that other time, we’d been pretty much on our own from sixteen to twenty-one. That had been adventure enough for us. But not for Aubrey and if we were going to save our relationship, we needed to fix things big time.
“How can we make it better, Aubs?” I whispered. “I don’t want to lose you. But I see where you’re coming from. All we’ve done at college is go to classes. It’s the same as high school.”
“Can we just do something fun sometimes?” she asked.
“I think it’s a good idea,” Kyle said. “You know, I intended to try out for the rodeo team. Fall season’s almost over. I could still make it for the spring season, though.”
“I agree,” I said. “College is supposed to be fun. We’ve got to figure out a way to have fun, even if we do have a ranch to run.”
“Do you think we could make it work?” Aubrey whispered. “I don’t want you to give up your dream. I just want a little part of it.”
The little part of it she got that night was more orgasms than she could count. Kyle and I double-teamed her through three right there on the couch. We could pretty much ignore each other while we both focused on what our girlfriend needed. Kyle scooped her up and carried her to the bedroom and left the door open so I could hear every cry of joy while I cleaned up the mess we’d made of the couch. Then I stripped off my clothes and lay spread-eagle on my bed to wait my turn.
I wasn’t expecting Kyle to deliver her to me. They were both stark naked as he carried her to my bed. I was so shocked I didn’t even cover myself and Kyle just laid Aubrey down on top of me with her legs over my head and her face in my crotch.
“See if you can wear her out!” he laughed. I sort of watched his bare butt as he left the room, but Aubrey’s tongue distracted me. Then her sweet honey. And then…
We talked to Moms and Pa. We talked to the kids. We talked to each other. Aubrey started spending a couple days a week at her folks’ house in town so she could spend more time on campus and with people she met in her major. I stayed with her a couple nights and it was fun. Kyle even got to stay with her. Her parents sort of shrugged about it and said they knew we lived together anyway.
We spent weekends at the ranch, but we always did something special at least once each weekend. It was cold out, but so far not too much snow. We definitely decided not to go hunting over Thanksgiving. There wasn’t much game and we could hear the wolves in the hills almost every night.
On my birthday, Tuesday before Thanksgiving, Aubrey kidnapped me. She borrowed her parents’ car and drove me to Cheyenne where we checked into the Holiday Inn.
“What are we doing?” I asked. “I didn’t know we were going anyplace! I didn’t pack anything.”
“Don’t you worry. I packed for both of us,” Aubrey giggled. She led me to a really nice room—for a hotel. It had a big bed and a huge Jacuzzi tub that Aubrey started filling immediately. “Now let’s get you out of those old ranch clothes,” she said, stalking toward me. I’d never seen such a feral look in her eyes.
She tugged my boots and socks off my feet and worked her way up from there. She took my jeans and panties down at the same time and pushed me back to sit on the edge of the bed. She loved popping the snaps open on my shirt and then pulled my T-shirt off over my head. She hadn’t really touched me yet and she kept pushing my hands away when I tried to get her clothes off her. Her last stop was to untie my neckerchief. When she got it off, she pushed me down on the bed and crawled on top of me. She lowered her lips toward me and I closed my eyes and raised my mouth for her kiss.
Instead of my lips, she kissed the scars on my throat—gently at first and then licking them. She nibbled all over my neck and I squirmed under her. Damn, she could make me feel good!
“Come on, now. Get in the tub. I want you nice and clean and relaxed when I start fucking you,” she said. I sank into the tub, amazed at what my little girlfriend was doing to me. She stood beside me in the bathroom and slowly removed her own clothes one piece at a time. She tossed them out the bathroom door as she undressed. When she was naked, she slid into the tub behind me and began washing me as the bubbles from the jets worked all around us.
After our bath, Aubrey toweled me down and dried my hair. I’d been naked with Aubrey plenty of times, but when she made me just stand there and let her oil my body, I somehow felt even more naked. And she oiled everything! Apparently, she wasn’t depending on me to produce enough lubrication for what she had in mind because she oiled right up inside me and then proceeded to make sure even my butthole was oiled.
She pulled back the covers on the bed and told me to lie down. That’s when the serious kissing started. Finally, she let me touch her, too. I wanted to suck on her nips so bad I might have hurt her just a little when I latched on. Her fingers were tickling around my pussy lips and then I heard a buzz.
“Aubrey, what’s that?”
“That’s a little treat for my loving girlfriend,” she said. She started running the vibrator around my breasts and then over my nipples. She was sucking on one and holding the vibrator on the other. Two such completely different feelings competing for my attention at the same time! When she moved down, she didn’t push it straight against my clit. She ran it over my tummy, back and forth, driving me crazy. Even when she reached my mound, she didn’t dive in. She vibrated right over the top, not quite low enough to touch my clit. It didn’t make any difference. I came. Hard.
She slowed up, giving me a chance to catch my breath, but she wasn’t done yet. This time she worked the vibrator down over my pubes and well-oiled lips. She was bringing me back to the edge again and I couldn’t get my eyes to focus on anything. I kept squinching up my face and just knew I must look hideous, but I didn’t care. All I could think about was my next come.
And then she pushed the damned thing inside of me!
There’d never been anything up there other than tampons and her fingers before. I suddenly realized how big—and how long—that vibrator was as it reached up inside me and hit places that had never been touched. I could hear myself whining, but when I started screaming, Aubrey covered my mouth with her own and kept working the vibrator in and out of my sloppy hole. I couldn’t see. I couldn’t hear. I couldn’t feel anything but the spasms clutching and releasing that hard thing inside me.
When I woke up, Aubrey was holding me in her arms, petting me and crooning how much she loved me. I hugged her tightly and buried my face between her tits and cried. I cried so long I fell asleep again and didn’t wake up until she called me for dinner.
It was the best birthday ever!
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