Double Tears
Chapter 130
“With him I couldn’t be anything but myself and that scared the crap out of me, because I had never existed like that before.”
—Carlyle Labuschagne, The Broken Destiny
“YOU GUYS WERE AWESOME Saturday night,” Beca gushed when we sat at the table for Monday lunch. “We need to get you more live concerts!”
“Sophie’s working on it,” Brittany said. “Did you see the video? I expected things to be a little more amateurish. Those guys handled it like pros.”
“John was breathing down their necks with the threat of their final grade for the semester riding on it,” I said. “Which reminds me… If we want to live stream more performances, we need to hire a production team. We won’t get student volunteers again.”
“Donna and I are working on it,” Livy said. “We’re meeting with John Friday afternoon to go over budget numbers. While someone who usually takes one or two of us out is otherwise engaged.”
“He’s taking me out!” Beca said. She grinned. “Et cetera.” We all laughed because everyone in the pod knew exactly what et cetera was going to go on. Cindy blushed.
“Did your director have any comments?” Desi asked her, redeeming the situation.
“Um… Mr. LeBlanc is not very effusive in his praise,” Cindy said. “But he said we did a good job and he was proud of us for maintaining the dignity of the music while entertaining people with our performance.”
“All he said to me was something about learning to play the viola da gamba. Whatever that is. I’m not sure I want to join the cello or viola section,” I said.
“It’s tuned similar to your guitar and has frets,” Cindy offered. “But you play it with a bow instead of plucking the strings.”
“Sounds like I could only play one note at a time and it would have to have a curved bridge or I’d just be strumming chords,” I said. “You know Vinnie originally tried to get me to flat-pick the guitar like Gambetta does on ‘Mozart in Hell’ but I just don’t like the feel. I like the multiple string ability of chicken-picking.” There was some laughter at the table.
“You guys are off in your own world again,” Rachel said. “No one else understood any of the preceding conversation. So, when can you be ready for another live concert? That’s the real question.”
“Yeah. It sure is. Seems like we’ve done nothing but rehearse since September. I really need to look at the syllabi to see if I have a chance of passing finals this week.”
“And as much as I love performing with Jacob, it’s a lot of work to learn an hour of new music and dances and staging. I think we only made this one because we’d already played more than half of the pieces before,” Cindy said. It happened she was sitting on my left with Rachel on my right today. She leaned against me and sighed. I put an arm around her.
“I’m in complete agreement, partner,” I said. “I can’t think of any other performers who are doing new material live shows more than a couple of times a year.”
“You’re doing so much for me, Jacob. I’ll do whatever you think is best.”
“Let’s have a meeting of all our advisors over the break and see if we can figure out something that makes sense.”
We made it through exams. My toughest was chemistry, but I’d already decided I’d accept a ‘C’ for the course. I just had to make sure I had enough of a foundation to get through the second semester. I couldn’t believe that I now considered my relaxation reading time to be reading Julius Caesar in Latin. I’d talked to Miss Lustig and she assured me she would be there for another year so I would get all three years of a single language I needed in order to graduate. There were nights I woke up from a dream in which I was reading music that was an entire passage from Caesar with random notes scattered around trying to figure out what tempo beati Hispani was.
I brought my practice guitar from the orchestra room when I joined the crew for lunch Friday and Cindy and I played an impromptu concert in the cafeteria. Then we were free.
“Mom, I’m spending the night with Rebeca tonight,” I told her as I was headed out the door.
“Really? Jacob, you’re not pushing her to…”
“No, Mom. We just don’t get the same kind of personal time together that I get with the other girlfriends. We need to spend some time connecting.”
“Well, be careful how you connect with her. She’s still more fragile than the other girls.”
“Don’t worry, Mom,” I said, giving her a hug and a kiss on top of the head. “I love Beca and would never do anything that would hurt her.”
What I didn’t tell Mom was that I was picking up Beca and going to a hotel. Or that we weren’t spending the night alone together.
Adrienne and Celia had booked a king room at the Holiday Inn. Not the most glamorous accommodations in Fort Wayne, but the bed was big enough for four active teens. And we intended to be active. We all understood one thing above all others: Adrienne and Celia missed their three pod mates and needed a little extra loving. We weren’t there to fall in love or make great commitments. We were there to fuck and be fucked until the girls felt like they could last until their mates were free to either join them or receive visitors. It had to be really hard with five people scattered in four different locations around the country. And three of them were locked down in their locations until they were mobilized or the national emergency ended.
When they opened the door to us, they were both dressed in black track suits.
Well, Beca and I were in black, too. By that Friday, there was scarcely any clothing visible at school that wasn’t black.
“You came!” Adrienne shouted. “We were so afraid you’d back out.”
“And then we were afraid we’d back out,” Celia sighed. “I know all three of our mates have screwed other people and I’m fine with that. But when it comes to doing it myself, I still feel like I’m cheating. Can we take it a little slow?”
“Whatever you want,” I said. “We don’t have to do anything. We can just hang out and talk, you know? That’s one of the things Beca and I miss most about Joan and Em being away. We could spend hours just sitting and talking about the silliest stuff.”
“Joan and I talked about whether opera rose was more red or more violet for two hours one night,” Beca laughed.
“Now that is weird!” Adrienne said. “I mean, not even sexy.”
“Oh, that’s not true. We were trying to color match her vagina.”
We all laughed and I just let Beca take the lead. I was a guy with three girls and I didn’t want to act like I was just wanting to dip my dick in a couple of new pussies. Regardless of what I felt. I kept listening for V1 to tell me how shameful it was that I wanted to fuck a couple of teen girls but he was mysteriously silent.
“Um… We have some edibles,” Celia ventured after about half an hour. “Would you like to try some?” If your idea of eating marijuana goes back to hash brownies, like mine did, let me tell you that edibles have come a long way. One look at the cannabis cinnamon muffins and I knew I was going to need a cup of coffee with it. Fortunately, the room had a coffee maker in the bathroom that took little pods, kindly provided by the hotel. The coffee wasn’t great, but it was all I needed to wash down half a muffin. After that, I didn’t care. The clock sort of stopped and the next thing I was aware of, Celia was sitting in my lap and we were kissing. I was amazed that I had her sweatshirt open and was palming a pert little breast, but when I glanced over, I saw Beca and Adrienne were stark naked on the bed, equally involved in kissing and petting.
We joined them and got started giggling when Celia tried to get my jeans off without taking my shoes off first. We rolled around on the floor a bit before I finally managed to get my legs free. And then, there was Celia stretched out naked on top of me and we just kept touching and kissing for the longest time. Only the clock stopped and so it said no time had passed at all.
We managed to crawl up on the bed beside Beca and Adrienne squirming around until they were in a sixty-nine and making a lot of noise. I looked up into Celia’s eyes as she lay on top of me. She had black hair and dark brown eyes. She wouldn’t claim to be the prettiest woman in the world, but she was pretty and a little shy and kept diving in for another kiss as she rubbed my cock through her moist slit. And I thought, ‘I bet this is what it’ll be like to make love to Cindy.’
As the THC wore off, the clock sped up. Sometime after midnight, I found myself behind Adrienne, squeezing her ass cheeks between my fingers as I pounded her pussy from behind. Her face was between Beca’s legs while Cindy… I mean Celia rode Beca’s face. There was a moment of disorientation there that caused me to falter in my stroke, quickly corrected by Adrienne’s active ass bouncing back against me.
By three in the morning, Beca and I had been in just about every combination with Celia and Adrienne we could imagine.
“Bernie and I never had any boundaries between us from the time we were little,” Celia said. “Trust me, there isn’t anything you can do down there that hasn’t been done before.”
That was interesting to hear from a girl involved with her sibling. Nightmares and the sexual tension with my sister had driven V2 to suicide. It wasn’t until a day before she went into the National Service that we’d crossed that barrier and become lovers. I was really happy for Celia. I was especially happy when I was coming in her.
She and Adrienne had collapsed on each other, kissing and telling each other how much they loved one another. Beca lay on my shoulder with a hand on my now-flaccid cock.
“You’re all slimy,” she giggled into my neck. “Is that Celia or Adrienne?”
“Yeah,” I answered.
“I know how to tell,” she said. In a second, she’d worked her way down my body and had my messy cock in her mouth. She gently nursed it and hummed around it. “A delightful comingling of three familiar flavors,” she mused and sucked me in again. I didn’t think anything would happen with as much as I’d been used tonight, but Beca moved her butt up by my shoulders where I could pet it and my cock started to respond again. As it did, I pulled her over my face and started licking her little clit.
Neither of us were fast at coming since we’d been playing with Adrienne and Celia for six or seven hours by then. It was just so nice to have my petite lover ministering to my cock while I tried to see how far up her pussy I could get my tongue. When she shook with her release as I tapped her clit with the tip of my tongue, I convulsed but I didn’t think I actually shot anything into her mouth. She crawled around and I held her in my arms as she slept on my chest.
I needed to spend some time with my little sister and devoted the day Monday to just doing fun stuff with her. We even went out to Donna’s farmhouse for a while Monday afternoon and practiced driving golf balls. It was a new experience for both of us and we ended up laughing too hard to hit the balls more than a few yards. At least we didn’t have to walk far to pick up all the balls. Most were within fifty feet of the tee.
While we were out where there was wide open sky, we flew the quadcopter around and took pictures of everything from the top of the trees in the woodlot to the cows in the next field over. Donna was impressed and wanted the aerial photos of her house downloaded for herself. She paid Pey for her efforts with hot chocolate and cookies. I got a kiss for mine.
“So, we thought maybe we could be a sister pod and you could just look out for us like you do when we go to the water park,” Pey was explaining. That made sense to me. A whole lot more sense than having the younger kids all join our pod. It just seemed that we should keep some separation there. Maybe it would all fade away in a few years when we’d done our National Service and they were just waking up to theirs. Somehow, I thought their needs were going to be different than ours. But we were family, regardless.
“You’re starting young,” Donna said. “When I was your age there were no pods. In fact, when I was your brother’s age there were no pods. It’s best to let it grow organically.”
“You mean with no chemicals?” Pey asked. We all laughed.
“Yes, in some ways that is what I mean,” Donna answered. “It really means to let it grow naturally. There are millions of organic compounds. The key is that they all grow around a single carbon element. It’s what holds the other elements together. You need to discover who in your group is the carbon atom or atoms. It’s not necessarily just one.”
“Who is the carbon atom in your pod? J?”
“It’s easy to pick out Jacob because he’s a little different than the rest of us,” Donna said. She lowered her voice conspiratorially. “He’s a boy. But if you look at the group, you can see that he’s not the only one who holds it together. Rebeca, for example. And Rachel. Without any of the three of them, a compound might survive, but it wouldn’t be this one.”
“I think I just learned more about chemistry in five minutes than I did all semester,” I said.
“Hmm. We’ll have to think about that,” Pey said seriously.
“Like I said, you have time to figure these things out. And remember that as you do, some elements might not quite adhere to the carbon element. Unlike basic elements, people change as they grow and mature. Someone might discover they just don’t fit with the way the elements have combined. Or they might discover they are more attracted to a different carbon atom. Just remember, that doesn’t mean you can’t still be friends. It just changes the shape of your molecule.”
Nanette and Brittany had taken off for Kansas Sunday, the little Beetle loaded down with presents we all sent to Em. Rachel was in the kitchen fixing dinner when Pey and I got home Monday afternoon. I kissed my lover and she turned to give Pey a hug.
“Is Richard here?” Pey asked.
“He wanted to come over, but wasn’t sure if you would like him to,” Rachel said. “He’s still at home.”
“Yeah. I’ll call him. We have a lot to talk about.” Pey disappeared to her room and a few minutes later came running to the front door. “I’m going to meet Richard halfway. We’ll be back in half an hour,” she shouted. Then she was gone.
“What was that about?” Rachel asked as she melted into my arms for a real kiss.
“I think it has to do with what Donna told her about organic compounds this afternoon,” I laughed. “Don’t ask. I can’t explain it as well as she can.”
“Mmm. I need to go visit her this week anyway. I’ve felt a little isolated from her lately. And I do love her. And you.”
“Yeah. I think that’s something that is different between a pod and organic compounds,” I said. “Like in any relationship or marriage, we don’t just get attracted and stick. There’s something we each do that holds us together. What’s for dinner, honey?”
“Oaf! You know I don’t have that big a cooking repertoire. Not like Beca. What would you guess?”
“My favorite spaghetti and meatballs?”
“Don’t call it your favorite in front of your mother. She’d be hurt.”
Wednesday, I picked up Beca and we headed to Chicago. It was a leisurely drive since we knew Joan wouldn’t be off work until five. It was another chance for me to reinforce my connection with my littlest girlfriend.
“I loved what we did Friday night,” she said.
“You liked getting your face between those girls’ legs?” I laughed. She’d buckled herself into the middle seatbelt so she could lean lightly on my shoulder.
“I won’t deny that I’m a pussy-hound,” she sighed. “But that’s not exactly what I meant.”
“Tell me,” I said.
“I liked sharing an erotic adventure with my boyfriend. We tag-teamed two girls into total submission. It was fun,” she said. “But it was more than that. Jacob, I liked sucking you and having you eat me. I know you’re always concerned about not crossing a line with me because I prefer girls. But I love you, J. I’d do anything with you.”
“And I’d do anything with you, Kitten. Or for you. I love you, Beca, in ways I didn’t even know existed. You are still my best friend ever.”
“Even in your past life memories?” she giggled.
“You know, I’ve searched those memories. There were people the old man was close to. People he loved. But I don’t find any memory of a person he felt he could share… everything with. If that person had told any of his friends he had recovered past life memories, they wouldn’t have been his friends any longer. They would have shrugged and said something like, ‘Too bad about Jacob. He’s really lost it.’ I feel like I can share anything with you. I love you like no one else I’ve ever known in this life or his.”
“Why don’t you then?” she asked.
“What?”
“Why don’t you share that thing you keep holding back? I’ve seen it in your eyes, Jacob. I know there is something you haven’t told us. Told me. It’s like the secret of my transition. Only I’ve told you and I’ve told Rachel. You are my best friends. You are my soulmates. I love Joan so much it hurts, but I could never tell her I used to be a boy. Just you and Rachel. But you hold that one thing back that you won’t tell us. Don’t you trust us, J?”
My heart started beating so hard my eyes got blurry. I looked for an exit and pulled off the highway at Etna Green and found a parking spot in their little town square. By the time I got the engine turned off, I was hyperventilating. I knew I was going to pass out. If I told her, I’d lose my best friend. How could she possibly accept that I was an old man in a kid’s body? A kid who died the day I was reborn.
I clutched her hand in mine and struggled to breathe. I looked into her eyes and felt the depth of her love and friendship.
“I’m so scared, Beca.”
“Don’t be, J. I love you. I always will.”
“They… They aren’t recovered memories. The Jacob… Jacob Hopkins who stepped in front of a bus on the twenty-sixth of August 2018 died on August twenty-ninth. My whole consciousness… everything I am… was transplanted from the body of a dying eighty-year-old in a different world. Please don’t hate me, Rebeca. I beg you.”
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