Double Take
Chapter 47
“Because I didn’t cross universes to return to life, simply to die again.”
—G.S. Jennsen, Requiem
I WOKE UP on July Fourth with a wet shoulder. Em was crying and by the amount of slobber and tears on me, she must have been crying for a long time. Her hair was stringy and didn’t seem to be clean. I’d never seen Em not taking care of herself. I petted her and held her while she sobbed against me.
“I don’t want to go! Why do they make us leave everything and go do fucking service? I don’t want to go!”
“It will be okay, sister. I promise. We’ll survive.”
“But I don’t want to be away from you. What will happen if you have a nightmare? Or if I do? I’m scared, J. I don’t want to go.”
I didn’t want her to go, either. She’d start her service on Monday and I wouldn’t see my beloved sister for weeks. It tied my stomach in knots. And it wasn’t just missing her naked body waking up next to mine. Em was beautiful and sleek and we had no barriers between us—except intercourse. We’d become comfortable together and I would ache when she was gone.
And the nightmares. Who would wake me up?
I took her by the hand and instead of dressing to go running, I led her to the bathroom and started the shower. It might sound like sleeping together was something that was normal in our family, but we were discreet. Mom certainly suspected something was up and I’m sure Pey knew her sister didn’t always spend the night in the same room, but our schedules, even in summer, were such that we could usually slip out without alerting the family that we’d been naughty together. But I’d never taken my sister into the shower with me. Yes, I kissed her and fondled her. She returned those gestures enthusiastically. But I took our time in the shower to gently wash her body, shampoo her hair, and generally pamper her.
My cock slipped up and down her ass crack as I fingered her to an approaching orgasm.
“It would be so easy,” she said as she squeezed me with her cheeks. “So easy to make love. So easy to show you how much I love you. And so dangerous. I can’t. I mustn’t.” She seized up around my fingers and my cock jetted against her back. We held each other tightly, whispering words of love. Then we rinsed and joined the family for a late breakfast on this holiday.
Rachel and her family joined us for a cookout in the afternoon. We all had fun and went off to see the baseball game and post-game fireworks. I was bracketed in my seat. By Rachel and Em. Nothing unusual about that until I started to raise my hands to cheer a play and discovered I held a hand in each.
Rachel looked over at Em’s and my joined hands and Em squeaked and started to pull away. Rachel reached over to stop her. She pulled Em toward her in front of me so that only the three of us could hear her.
“It’s okay, Em,” she said. “I’m used to sharing Jacob with his other girlfriends. And I’ve gathered enough to know there is something very special between the two of you. Please don’t think I’ll be jealous of you and please don’t be jealous of me. Sister.”
I never in a thousand years expected my sister to lean across me and kiss my girlfriend.
It didn’t hit me until Saturday. Rachel and I had been back in class on Friday the fifth as if the holiday hadn’t existed. The subject of the day was ellipses. The equations weren’t that difficult once you learned the pattern. Algebra is about defining the function, though, and I got a little distracted with figuring the surface area. That wasn’t part of the lesson and Rachel gave me a dig in the ribs to get me focused back on the subject at hand.
I’d done my driving practice with the instructor on Tuesday and when he’d noted the signatures of my mother, he told me I didn’t need any more driving time in class until the exam but to keep driving with my mother. So, Friday night after the regular class, Rachel and I went out. We grabbed a sack of tacos and drinks and headed out to Eagles’ Park where we spread out a blanket, swatted a few mosquitoes, and settled down to eat. I guess I must have let my thoughts drift because Rachel reached over and touched my hand to get my attention.
I got lost in her deep green eyes. I wished a hundred times that V1 had been brave enough to talk to her—to ask her out. But that’s what this second youth was for, right? Correcting mistakes. I pulled her to me and kissed her.
“She’s leaving Monday, isn’t she?” she whispered as I held her.
“Yeah. Has to report to the intake center at eight o’clock a.m. I’m really… Shit.”
“You need to spend this weekend with your family. With your sister. J, anyone who sees the two of you can tell there is more than a family connection.”
“We haven’t…”
“Shh. It doesn’t make a difference what you have or haven’t or what you do or don’t. Now or ever. I can only dream that you see the same love in my eyes when I look at you that everyone can see in hers when she looks at you. And before you say anything else, know that I am thrilled to see the same look in your eyes when you look at me as when you look at her.”
“Life is so different than I expected it to be,” I sighed. “You are more than any man should expect or deserve in a lover. There’s no reason for me to be interested in Em. Or in Joan, or Desi, or Beca.”
“Or Brittany,” Rachel laughed.
“What?”
“Oh, my dear, sweet love,” she said. “That little girl hides behind ‘I’m only fourteen,’ but who did she want to turn fifteen with? You are about to be snowed over.”
“Oh, really, Rachel? Why can’t it just be you and me?”
“With her age, Brittany is going to be another year behind us in National Service. That means that Joan and I will have to take charge of her while you and Beca and Desi serve your terms. It all works out. Everything works out, boyfriend.”
“But…” It just wasn’t the way things worked in my world. A guy was supposed to have one woman and spend his life with her. God knows, I tried. I wasn’t that successful at it, with either Rebecca or Renie. Why should I expect that to be different this time?
“And just so you know, Jacob, as long as you are loving to us and not ignoring us, none of us are going to go around accusing you of cheating when you play around with someone else. And that includes your sister.”
“How about you?” I asked. This was the concern I’d had all along. “Are you going to play around with others?”
“Mmm. Maybe. I know, though, that I’ll never find someone who could offer me what you and Beca do. Yeah. You two are like the leaders of our family. I am so thankful that you are able to accept her. It was the first great test of our family. But we’re still in our mid-teens. We have the rest of high school, National Service, and college to get through before we even begin to settle into a family unit. I don’t think anyone should be afraid to satisfy our needs until then… and even after if we can truly become a family. Jacob, if it comes to that, we’ll accept Emily, too.”
I spent the weekend with the family and I was glad I did. Emily was still morose but seemed resigned to the inevitable. At least we aren’t choosing random teens to go to a war that they might not return from. That was the ’60s. And the ’50s. And the ’40s. I was sure the next two years would be hard, but based on her NSO test and her SAT, she was eligible to apply for a logistics management track after basic. I think it was the immediate uncertainty that plagued most inductees these days. They reported to the intake center and were shipped out to basic training. There were now fifteen basic training camps scattered around the US and a kid didn’t know which one he or she would be headed to until they got on the bus.
There was a specific list of what she could and could not bring to basic that was similar to what soldiers are to take to military basic. NS basic was not the same as military, in fact, if you were going into a military branch, you went to military basic after NS basic. Em’s basic training would be focused on fitness and getting used to a regimen that a lot of teens had never experienced. It would also be a time when instructors evaluated candidates for various NSOs and made a decision on where to send you next.
A mini-industry had grown up in the past five years. There was a store at the mall where you could simply buy your kit for basic complete. And they weren’t all the same. Underwear came in various colors. Shirts and blouses were available in different styles and colors. There was a choice between kinds of slacks and jeans, and even a selection of different brands of personal items like shampoo and tampons. What’s more, they had appropriate duffels and even showed Em how to pack it most efficiently. Of course, she could add a few personal things, like her own hairbrush, and had to add things like prescriptions and glasses. But mostly, she had everything she needed packed in a bag.
Em looked at her cellphone and tossed it on the bed next to her open duffel bag.
“I might as well just leave it,” she said.
“You can’t make calls?” I asked, horrified. I’d anticipated that I’d still be getting text messages and phone calls while my sister was away.
“According to the booklet, they take your phone when you get to camp and don’t give it back for a week. Then you can make calls during scheduled call time, which is limited. You can’t go on social media during basic. You have to keep your phone locked up at all times except designated call times.”
“Well, at least take the phone for then. I’ll try not to flood your inbox with text messages. But if you want to give me your Facebook log-in and password, I’ll post a weekly update from you. I mean, if you want.”
“You just want to see what I have in my protected folders,” she giggled. I caught her in my arms.
“Do you have anything I haven’t seen?” I whispered in her ear. She gripped me tight.
She spent quality time with Pey, too. I wasn’t monopolizing all her time. Of course, Mom and Dad seemed to need to cover the entire family history with her as if she was going off on a spaceship with only her memories. I filed that idea away for use in my story.
We all stayed up way too late Saturday night and even Pey had a little glass of wine to toast our sister. Mom and Dad turned a blind eye when Em and I had more than our share.
I hadn’t gone to bed tipsy in years!
Sand, swirling around my feet, climbing my legs, pressing in against my stomach and putting pressure on my chest. Sand filling my mouth, my nose, my eyes, my ears. Suffocating in the dark silence of the storm. Alone save the hand that held me. The hand that wouldn’t let go.
“I won’t let you go. It’s only a dream. I won’t let go,” Em said repeatedly in my ear as I struggled against the unconsciousness that threatened me. With one hand she held my hand and with the other she stroked my cock to rigidity. I could still smell wine on her breath but her words were now becoming clear. “I won’t let go. I don’t care what anyone says. I want this, J. You want this. I love you and I will never let go.”
She shifted her weight until she was on top of me and I felt the tip of my cock probing at her entrance. And then Em began the long, exquisite slide onto my erection. Em. My angel. Em was making love to me. My heart sped up with the rhythm of her movements and I wondered if I had woken up at all or this was a torturous new part of my dream—feeling my sister’s skin against mine as she rode my cock, her hot tears splashing against my face as we both mounted toward our incestuous orgasm. My breath was coming in small gasps, laboring under her weight, lying on my chest. All sensations wrapped up around the point where we were connected.
And then, in an instant, it was all perfectly clear.
Two children playing on the beach. V1 recognized the location. He’d been to the Dunes on many occasions, Lake Michigan usually too cold to swim in but the sand hot beneath our feet. Em stretched out on a towel beside me as I dug in the packed sand near the water. I’d dig a hole to China. I scooped out sand from my little excavation by the bucketful. To my small stature, the hole felt six feet deep, the sky the only thing visible above me. And then the collapse. Wet sand packing around my feet before I could move them.
“Em! Help me!” I raised my arm toward the sun. Em screamed and latched onto my hand. But it was too late. The sand collapsed threatening to pull her into the hole with me, her spread towel keeping her on the surface. The rest of the sand from sides and from the water collapsing on top of me, stopping up my mouth and eyes and nose so I could not even scream. And finally, I stopped hearing. The pressure crushed me. I couldn’t breathe. My only touch with reality, the hand that would not let go of mine.
And then blackness. My heart stopped.
“Done already? Didn’t expect to see you back so soon.”
“What? Where?”
“Hmm. Pretty good record for ten months. Physical recovery. Screwing a nice pregnant girl. Getting past the suicidal phase. Relearning the guitar. School. Connecting with a high school fantasy girl and falling in love. Getting back at the woman who almost destroyed your marriage by fucking her daughter. Kissed a tranny. My, my. And fucked your sister. Jacob, you have been a busy man.”
“Wait! Where am I? You’re…”
“We’re the ones who gave you a second chance. You’ve used it well, though we didn’t expect you back so soon.”
“No! I can’t be dead. You can’t let me die. It would kill her! It would kill my sister! Please! Please send me back.”
“Easier said than done. Infarction. Blood clot apparently not fully dissolved in the healing of your leg. Broke loose.”
“You can do it. You can put me back. I can get through this. Please, don’t let me die. I’m not through! I can’t die now.”
“Jacob, we’re sympathetic. But you know, it won’t be easy. We don’t just mean the pain of the clot. That’s temporary and will pass. But what are you going to do about your sister now that you’ve fucked? And how are you going to deal with the memory?”
“The memory of… The collapsed hole on the beach. It buried me. My sister wouldn’t let go of my hand, even when I died. That was all real?”
“Very real. Your sister screaming on the beach with her arm buried in the sand. A runner stopping and listening to her sob that her brother was buried. To please help her. Refusing to let go of your hand as first the runner and then other volunteers started clearing the sand and finally pulling you out. Resuscitation. Delirium. Eventually waking to find your sister still clutching your hand. And the long process of blocking out the memories, your sister repeating over and over that it was just a bad dream and she would never let go. That’s heavy stuff, Jacob. It drove your V2 self to suicide. How are you going to live with the trauma—the memories.”
“You forget, I’m not eight years old. I’m eighty. I can handle the trauma now that I know what it was.”
“You’re sure. And your sister?”
“She’s still holding my hand. She won’t let go. And neither will I. I’m going back, with or without your help.”
“I guess that’s all we needed to know. Good luck.”
I gasped and dragged in an excruciating lungful of air as pain lanced through my heart, crushing the clot I’d passed. Emily’s scream pierced the night as I flooded her pussy with my come, holding her to me like the life preserver she was.
“I won’t let go. I won’t let go,” she chanted. “I love you. I will always be here for you.”
The air was forced from my lungs again by her weight falling on my chest and a new round of convulsions in my cock matched the spasms in her pussy. My sister. My beloved Em. My anchor in this world.
“I love you, Em. I love you and I won’t let go.”
“Oh, J. I thought I’d lost you.”
“I remembered, Em. I remembered it all. The beach. The sand. The hole.”
“I dream about it, too,” she sobbed. “They wanted me to let go and get out of their way while they dug, but I wouldn’t. In the long run, it was what let them recover you so fast. They followed my arm to you. Mom held my feet to keep me from sliding into the shifting sand with you. Dad dug furiously with the others who joined him. Even when you were out of the hole, I wouldn’t let go—not until I knew you were alive and breathing. They loaded you into an ambulance, Dad riding with you. Mom carried baby Pey and we ran to the car, leaving everything else on the beach as we followed the ambulance. I never cried so many tears, J. I don’t ever want to leave you. Who will wake you from the nightmares?”
“I remember it all now, Em. It was terrible. Frightening. But I’ve faced death again since then.” I couldn’t say how often. “Now that I know, I’ll be able to handle the dreams.”
“You don’t need me?”
“Oh, I need you, Em. You are still my anchor in this world. You are the reality that I base all my other experiences on. I love you, Em, and I won’t let you go. But that love extends further than the range of your touch, sister. If they send you to Timbuktu for your service, I still won’t let go. And now, instead of it just being our hands that touch, it will be our hearts.”
“J, make love to me again. I can still feel you in me. Now I want to feel you loving me. Let me take this with me when I go to service and I will always be in touch with you.”
Now that we were both settled a bit from the emotional outpouring, we became more fully aware of the physical connection we had. I moved and my post-orgasmic cock stiffened again, feeling Em’s slick lubrication mixed with my own first come. I rolled her to her back and she lifted her legs around my waist to give me full access to her incredible body, her sex open to my thrusts. Neither of us wanted this coupling to end and drew it out as long as we could before crashing together again in a climax that knocked us both out.
We woke Sunday morning and made love again before the family got up. We showered and started breakfast, joined by a sleepy Pey in the kitchen. Soon we were laughing and joking about all being drunk last night, though Pey had only a tiny glass of wine. Still, we counted three empty bottles on the kitchen counter. Mom and Dad joined us when the smell of bacon finally reached them and squinted slightly at the empties on the counter. We all shook our heads and squinted against the lingering headaches.
We went to church as a family and I prayed to God for the first time I could remember in years. I prayed ‘Thank you for my sister and my family. God, please keep her safe during her service and remind her often how much we… I love her.’
Sunday night after we’d all said our goodnights and headed to our rooms, Em came to me again and we made love. I tried to memorize every crease and fold of her body. I marveled at the shape of her ears as I kissed them. I tasted the fluids from her sex as I built her again to an orgasm and then joined her as I slid inside.
And at seven in the morning, I stood on the porch after tenderly kissing her goodbye, and watched as Dad drove her off to the intake center.
I’ll see you soon. I won’t let go.
END PART IV
END BOOK 1
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