Romancing the Clown
7
That’s Cathy’s Clown
SO, WHAT I’M SAYING is that we shorten the program a little and get four shows a day in when we get to these big cities,” I said.
I was having a drink with Bandy in a local tavern. Lees accompanied me as my guard and sat not far away with Bandy’s two warriors. Cathy lay at his feet. I’d been insinuating myself into his good graces ever since my dinner with Lord Chang. We’d gone deeper into the South and had turned west on our circuit following the course of a large river, heavy with traffic. The towns along this river were major trading centers.
“You’re trying to change things again. That tent has added ten people to our company! Just to put it up and take it down. It costs us an extra day in each town,” Bandy complained.
“They’re getting better at it,” I said. “In the next city, we’ll pull in for dinner and perform after breakfast. Thirty percent more revenue per show day. Lemiel has done a fine job organizing the acts. Everyone is even eating better and we are making more money.”
“You just want to take over my circus. I should have had you killed when you first caught up with me. My life would be more peaceful.”
“How can you get more peaceful? You don’t do anything. You scarcely even waddle out to make announcements.”
“So why don’t you just buy me out!” Bandy yelled. The drink and the pressure were getting to him. Conversations paused nearby as people in the tavern turned to listen to us.
“How much?” I pounced.
“Ha! More than you could ever pay.”
“Forty conchs.” That brought the whole room to silence, including Bandy as he focused on me.
“Forty?” he said. “I have that many indentures.”
“Half of them only have a year left on their contracts. I’ve heard them planning to leave already,” I pressed.
“And then there is all the equipment, including that new tent!”
“Which I already paid half for, unlike our agreement to be sixty/forty.”
“It was your idea.” He paused and I could see the wheels turning in his head. “Sixty conchs and I keep my wagon and retainers.”
“Forty-five conchs. You can keep the wagon, horses, and personal effects. In fact, everything in the wagon except the indentures,” I countered.
“What? You would cut me off without so much as a guard?” he sputtered. “I keep the three personal servants. The two black-skinned warriors and the snakeslut. And fifty-five conchs.”
“Fifty conchs. You keep the warriors, but I get the snakeslut.” He hesitated and pondered the situation. “And fifteen percent of profits paid annually,” I concluded. He lit up.
“So, you want your cock in the snake’s gullet?” he mocked. “I can always find another. Fifteen percent you say? Agreed.”
“Done and done,” I said spitting on my hand and holding it out. He spat on his hand and slapped it against mine. He had a lot more phlegm in his spit than I did. We sat back in our chairs, clinked our mugs together and took a long drink. Then Bandy started laughing. He laughed so hard he had a coughing fit.
“That was fun! We should do this again sometime.”
“What would you have to bargain with next time?” I asked.
“What? The same thing. You try to buy my circus from me. Next time I’ll put in to trade the snakeslut for your dancer.”
“But you no longer own the circus,” I said. “I do.”
“As if you have fifty conchs! Men like you don’t earn that in a lifetime.”
“I may have had more than one lifetime. We’ll go to the bank in the morning,” I said. “You will bring all the indenture papers and a bill of sale. I will transfer the money to your account and we will set up an independent account that I can deposit your annual percentage in. Done and done.”
“Ridiculous. We didn’t really make a bargain. We were playing a game.”
“When have you known me to play a game, Bandy? Witnesses!” I called. I half expected Bandy to renege on the deal, which was why I wanted it loud and in the tavern. Three men, including the barman, stepped up.
“We heard the deal made,” the barman said. “We will witness the transaction at the bank tomorrow.”
“No!”
“Yes!”
As I expected, Bandy rushed back to the camp and tried to rouse everyone to move. Lemiel glanced at me and I shook my head. The performers and rowdies all went back to their tents while Bandy ranted. Then he tried to get his warriors to hitch up his wagon, but the barman had organized a militia and firmly denied the men access to any goods. They knew the rules of engagement in this territory and stood down. A master could not order his indentures to kill unless they were directly threatened. It was similar to the hero’s code and I wondered how much Danny Sun and Lord Chang had to do with getting it accepted.
I opened the secret compartment when I returned to the wagon and sorted through the bag of coins to pull the largest out. There were twenty conchs in the bag. Uncle had truly been hoarding coins. I was pretty sure I had enough in my account to cover the purchase, but I didn’t want to be caught short.
In an unusual gesture, Lees and Legs both climbed into my wagon late that night and combined their tongues to satisfy their hero’s needs. Of course, I had to do some satisfying myself, and Legs seemed to be more than satisfied when she found two tongues in her quim.
There was a crowd standing around the wagon when Bandy emerged in the morning. His two warriors and my two warriors followed us to the bank in the morning. They were followed, in turn, by all the indentures in the circus. We were met at the bank by the barman and two witnesses as well as an array of other patrons of the bar who had seen what transpired the night before. I’d promised to come back tonight and sing for them.
The bank manager had his work cut out for him. There were forty-seven indentures to be transferred and each was checked against the person being transferred. When it came time for Cathy to be transferred, one of the warriors went back to the wagon to retrieve her. She was then handed off to Thorin who took her back to my wagon. Then there was the bill of sale with all the accoutrements of the circus. And finally, assumption of the seasonal contract of the tent workers who had not been indentured because Bandy was afraid he’d be stuck with people he couldn’t get rid of when the tent proved a failure.
I stuck my finger in the little box that accessed my account and was told the funds were transferred. When Bandy went with the manager to open a new deposit account for his earnings, I turned back to the teller and deposited my twenty conchs. No sense carrying around that kind of money now that it was out of its hiding place.
It was a very wealthy but morose Bandy who mounted the driver’s box of his wagon with the two warriors riding their horses beside him. On the other hand, no less than a dozen women, having heard of his new wealth, had already offered their services to him, in any way he wanted and I saw one lying on the floor of the driver’s box already working on Bandy’s cock. I didn’t think Bandy’s gloom would outlast the day.
We’d missed the morning performance, but by noon we were in action again.
I was weary to the bone and dreading going to the tavern to perform by the time I got back to the wagon that night. I had completely forgotten what was waiting there.
Cathy Temp lay naked on my cot. It was heartbreaking. She had undoubtedly been beautiful. The vision that greeted me was a malnourished shell, skinny arms and legs and ribs protruding. Her hips were canted in an odd way.
“You can spread my legs if you want sex, but you should use a sheep’s gut to wrap your cock. I’m a cockburner. I can take you down my throat, though. All the way. If you want my ass, you will have to roll me over. I can’t do it on my own. My legs don’t work.”
“Oh, Cathy,” I sighed. I approached her and covered her gently with a blanket. “When did you last eat?”
“Your dancer brought me food twice today. I’m afraid I threw up the first meal, but I licked it up off the floor, master. I will keep your floors licked clean. I need to crawl to the pit soon so I do not soil the bed,” she said. “I will sleep on the floor if you have a rag for a blanket, please. I only thought to make it easier for you to take your pleasure.”
“Cathy Temp of Cassandra, I am Hero Lincoln of Earth and I have come to rescue you.”
Whatever reaction I expected, it wasn’t what I got. Cathy barked out a laugh and it deteriorated into a sob.
“I don’t believe in heroes. They’re a lie. They send us here to die. I’ve simply been stubborn about it.”
“Cathy, it is true. I’ve come to rescue you.”
“You have been here with the circus for six months. You watched as that deformed animal shoved his cock down my throat and you hardened in your trousers. You bought me from him for your pleasure. No hero would have let me suffer for so long unless he was as cruel as the master he bought me from. If you do not wish to use me, let me crawl to the pit to defecate. If you do not want me in your wagon, I can sleep with the animals so you can have your dancing whore undisturbed.”
“Cathy…”
“My name is snakeslut.”
“Not any longer. You are Cathy Temp. You will go back to Crossroads with me and be healed. You will receive your reward and go back to Cassandra to raise our child.”
“The fuck.”
I leaned over to pick her up.
“I will carry you to the latrine,” I said. She struck me with her arms, though she was too weak to do any harm.
“I will crawl as befits my station. Put me down!” she yelled. I kept hold of her and she continued to beat on me, raking my arm with her nails. I kicked the door of the wagon open and carried her out.
“Lees!” I snapped. My caretaker ran from where she was helping the children settle down for the night. “Please take Cathy to the latrine and see that she has suitable clothing and blankets. She is to have warmth, shelter, food, and drink. If anyone harms or abuses her, he or she will answer to the lash. Is that clear, everyone?”
“Yes, Minstrel Lincoln,” a chorus of voices responded. “Lemiel! Strike the tent. We travel at first light.”
“We have another day of shows scheduled, Minstrel,” the acrobat manager answered.
“No one will care. We head north to the borderlands by the shortest route. While we journey, I will discuss each person’s indenture papers with him. Let’s move, people!” I shouted. The camp, which had just settled down for the night, came to life. Our hired hands handled the tent. Everyone else went about striking and packing their own equipment. I turned to the wagon and grabbed my cithara. Legs stopped me at the door.
“I did not strip her,” Legs said as she placed a hand on my arm. “She was naked when I brought her food at midday. There was never an opportunity to warn you. I’m so sorry, my hero.”
“Never mind, Allegra. I promised to show up at the tavern to sing tonight as recompense for the support of the witnesses. I must go,” I said.
“You should not go alone. I will accompany you,” she said.
“Legs…”
“I may not be as skilled as Lees, but I can watch your back.”
I turned and walked toward the tavern. Legs followed along with me.
Somehow, my humorous songs just didn’t do it for me or for the crowd. People laughed, but it was all flat. I drank some of the fine mulberry wine available in the tavern and started playing ballads. The wine was sweet; my stomach was sour.
I sang a sad song about a hero who was too late to rescue his damsel. While I was singing, I understood a little of how Cathy felt. It seemed that everyone knew legends of heroes who rescued damsels, but no one believed in them. They were entertainments, nothing more. Everyone knew there were no other planets. There was only Chaos. Minstrels sang of heroes to keep the stories alive. But even the great kings emerging after the Slaver Wars were no more than men who rose to greatness and disappeared. Some said they went to their citadels and retired. Others that they wandered the countryside, popping up to right an injustice or to kill an enemy, then disappear again. Chaos was a large world when you considered that the fastest way to travel was via horse.
The sadder the song I sang, the better the tavern-goers liked it. Soon, we were all drinking wine and weeping in our cups as I sang about the death of Danny Sun. And then the stories began.
“Do you remember when Jin Lin came into town? He said he was a hero of Earth and was here to rescue a damsel. Noble, but a stupid boy. Killed Lee Kwan right in the middle of the street and claimed his bride as his own. There was no delay in his execution. I understand the woman was captured by slavers and was transported to their stronghold. A shame. I would have given her a ride, even if she burned my cock like she claimed. Would have been worth it.”
“Jin Lin was a peasant from Oreville. Where he ever got the sword he challenged Lee Kwan with is still a mystery. Some say he killed for it. Chaos is a better place without him and his kind.”
“Not that there are not heroic men. Jian Li cleaned up that den of thieves in Qong years ago. Now there was a man who became a warlord one could respect. People say he wandered, too, but he always came back to Qong.”
I drank more than my share of mulberry wine and found myself draped over Legs’ shoulder as she struggled to get me into my wagon and to bed. We were on the move when I finally awoke the next day.
“You need to get her to a bank and get out of here,” Lees whispered to me. “You should have done it right there where we were.” I rode on the wagon seat as she drove. Legs was riding Lees’ horse not far away.
“We can’t just jump out of here and leave an entire company of indentured servants with no leadership,” I said. “We need to sort things out and see to it that they can survive. Thorin, Legs, and the children are free and we could show them how to run things. I expect that we’ll lose the roustabouts at the end of their contract unless they want to re-up to come back south with the circus on the next circuit.”
“Not only that, but we need to strategize your return. You must be ready for anything when you walk through that portal. I can only imagine Wilson wandering around it trying to figure out where we went. And he has a gun,” she said.
“I still don’t get it. Lisa, what is going on there?”
She’d successfully distracted me from getting the circus organized and Cathy to a bank.
“I might as well tell you the story,” Lisa said. I saw Legs edge her horse nearer, but she already knew the basics of our relationship. No reason to shoo her away. “It’s funny, really. Al was a tricky man, but to him, family was everything. He simply didn’t trust anyone. Cosimo was a disappointment because he had no children. And Cos was Al’s only child. Still, when I got pregnant, Al went ballistic. First, because I was scarcely more than a child and Cos was close to forty. But second, because Cos was talking about divorcing his wife and marrying me. To Al, that was criminal,” Lees said.
“It seems so senseless to me,” I said.
“Yes, but Al had the wherewithal to make decisions stick. He pulled Wilson out of some dung heap job and made him the offer. It was attractive for a guy with no morals and a high sense of greed. Wilson would marry me, be utterly faithful to me, raise Cadence as his daughter, and be second in line to inherit Al’s empire,” Lees said.
“But since Cos died before Cadence was even a year old, Wilson became the heir apparent,” I mused. I was still fighting a bit of a hangover and wished I could have a good strong cup of coffee. Damned primitive world!
“Exactly. Until Cadence turned eighteen. Al prepared a second will that would go into effect on two conditions. Cadence turned eighteen and graduated from high school. The will still states that Wilson is the secondary heir. The lawyers told me that the reading of the will is scheduled for the Monday after graduation. Cadence will inherit everything,” Lees said.
“So now Wilson is trying to make sure no one is in the way,” I said. “Sounds just like him.”
“He’s heard a rumor that there was a second will and assumed rightly that I had it. Now Cadence has it, but she doesn’t know it. I gave her the one thing that I knew she would protect more than any other—the Crossroads box that Seth gave you. The will is in the bottom of the box. She needs to present it to the executor of the estate on Monday.”
“We have five days we need to assure Cadence is safe and sound. It looks like I have another damsel to rescue when I get back to Earth.”
It took four days of steady travel cutting across a barren landscape before we came to another town that was large enough to support the circus. One of the things that differentiated the North from the South was that there were more small villages scattered evenly across the populated areas of the North with few concentrated population centers. The people of the South tended to gather in larger, fortified cities along the rivers with very little lying between them. Our journey had cut between a west-flowing river to a north-flowing river, heading us back home. In roadside taverns, I was able to sing and Legs would dance. Occasionally, an acrobat would perform in the street and get a few tips, but ours was a show meant to draw hundreds of people. It was ideally constructed to tour the South and would have far more difficulty in the North. We encountered sizable population centers in the South at least every four or five days of travel. In the North, it was two weeks between Rock Canyon City and High Castle.
As we traveled, I worked on renegotiating the indenture contracts. I intended to give everyone the opportunity to buy out their contracts with the wages I’d been paying. They had few other expenses, so the quad each week was mounting up in most of their tents. Six months was six shells. I ran into difficulty from the outset.
No one wanted to leave.
“Minstrel Lincoln,” Lemiel said, “we are doing what we want to do. We are performing. Under your guidance, we have become successful. We are not overworked and we are compensated as if we were not indentured. We are putting aside money that we can use in retirement. These performers, cooks, even the tent workers and servants, will not depart your service, even when their indenture is up.”
“But you could be on your own. Independent.”
“And constantly struggling against odds that are too great for individuals. What we learned when we joined the circus, even under Bandy’s cruel rulership, was that there is both safety and power in numbers. Do you think there are no bandits on these southern roads just because there are laws? Not so. If they are condemned for killing one man, then how much worse will it be if they kill ten? Or a hundred?” Lemiel said. “But the cowardly prey on the weak. When we travel, we are vigilant. Even the seasonal tent workers share in the patrol and protection of the whole. We are happy. Leave well enough alone.”
If they wanted to band together and be a single company, that was fine by me, but I would have to train up a manager that they could all respect as much as me. It seemed there were only two choices, and I didn’t think either of them would want to manage a circus.
Each evening, I was treated to the not-so-pleasant company of Cathy. My kindness to her seemed only to make her angrier.
“Why have you not offered to let me buy my indenture back?” she demanded. “You’ve filled my stomach with food instead of come. I am of no use to you.” I leafed through the indenture papers until I found hers. There was a list of former owners and transfers that was two pages long. I dipped a brush in an inkpot I had acquired in one of the villages. I penned the words ‘Freed by forgiveness—Lincoln Minstrel.’ I handed her the batch of papers.
Cathy looked at it and her lips quivered.
“Now what?” she spat. “Will you leave me beside the road to die a free woman?”
“You are such a fucking bitch, Cathy. This is not what I signed up for,” I said. Yes, I was getting a little testy.
“Except you won’t fuck me. Coward!”
“It is against the rules and you know it. I will get you to a bank as soon as I have the business of this damned circus taken care of and take you to Crossroads. You will be healed. I will fuck you as I have promised and as soon as you are pregnant, we will go our separate ways. I am beginning to pity our child.”
“Then use my throat. You cannot have a cock too big for me to swallow. It is the only skill I have ever mastered,” she demanded.
“And have you smugly sneer at me because I am like all others? Well, I am not like all others. You have never known an Earth Hero.”
“Because they do not exist. Oh, one came claiming to be my hero soon after I came to this wretched place. Deluded fool. He didn’t even have a weapon and was cut down where he stood. That is what a hero is. A fool. A clown. A jester on the stage of life. If you persist in this charade, you, too, will be cut down.”
Night after night as we made our way slowly northward, our circus was more and more successful. We played for larger crowds and longer engagements. I raised everyone’s salary to five pinches a week. With the inclusion of their food and lodging, they were now better paid and did less work than most laborers.
While we were camped and performing, Cathy crawled from the wagon and slithered around the arena in a snake costume, claiming to be half woman and half snake. I had Thorin keep an eye on her. He was to protect her, but not interfere. I didn’t want to know how she was earning her coins.
At night, I slept in one of the three tents with Lees and Legs. The children slept in one tent, and Thorin slept in another with a contortionist who could bend backward and put her head between her own legs. She could fuck him and lick his balls at the same time.
Once we were in our tent, there were no pretenses among Lisa, Legs, and I. We were naked together and making love, often working out my frustrations about Cathy with sex. I narrowly missed insertion with each of them on a number of occasions.
“Minstrel Lincoln and Master Lees,” Saul said as he and his sisters cornered us. They had all grown over the past year. Saul was learning acrobatics now and his sisters had developed into a regular sound track of vocalizations for the entire circus. I included them in the weekly wages as well. The girls were on either side of Legs as they held her hands. “We have heard that we are nearing the final route back to the Northlands,” Saul continued. “We wonder… Hero Lincoln, will you take the sn… Mistress Cathy away when we reach High Castle?” I was surprised the children knew anything about it and looked at Legs. She simply shook her head and shrugged her shoulders. Little pitchers have big ears, as my mother would have said.
“Yes, Saul. That is part of being a hero. I will return one day, though. And I expect you will grow into a fine young man and you girls into fine young ladies.”
“We will be alone when you leave.”
“You can still return to the Inn. I know Gabe and Molly would be happy to have you.”
“We want to know…” the girls said together. “We want Mistress Allegra to be our mother.” Legs’ mouth fell open. “She has cared for us all the way from Rock Canyon City. We want to stay with her.” I smiled.
“Mistress Allegra,” I said, “do you wish to have three children hanging onto you henceforth?”
“I…” Legs began.
“Wait,” Saul interrupted. “It may seem strange, but we also wonder if, when the Minstrel leaves, you, Master Lees, would become our father.” I was truly shocked. I had been surprised by their request of Legs, but Lees couldn’t stay to be their father.
“There is a problem with that,” I said. “Master Lees must come with me.” I felt Lisa’s hand on my shoulder.
“No,” she said softly. “I do not need to go back with you, Linc. I’ve been trying to formulate how to say this for the past weeks. I need to stay here.”
“Lisa! You can’t do that!” I said before I realized I had identified her. I looked around. Only the six of us were within hearing, but Thorin was not far away and looking toward us.
“I can,” Lisa said. “And it is time that I dropped the charade. The children know I’m not a man and they have known for a long time that I can talk. They have listened to enough of our late-night conversations with their ears pressed against our tent.” All three children blushed.
“But you are from Earth,” I insisted. “I can’t just leave you behind on Chaos.”
“Lord Chang was left behind. I’m sure there are many others as well. And I don’t expect it to be forever. When you’ve straightened things up back home, you’ll return to Chaos with Cadence and the three of us will continue our journey. When you tell me the threat from Wilson is gone, I’ll return to Earth with you,” she said.
“But I need you to help me.”
“I would be a liability. When you burst back through to Earth, you will need to come out fighting. If you are checking around for me and trying to protect me, you will be at a disadvantage. If I am not there, Wilson will at the minimum need you to find me. But you can defeat him and protect Cadence better than I can. I will stay on Chaos and manage the circus. It’s been driving you crazy for the past month. When you return with Cadence, we will all be together like we were meant to be.” She turned to Saul, Melody, Harmony, and Legs. “Yes, children. If Allegra will consent to continue our charade, I will be your father.”
We argued about it the rest of the way to High Castle. I actually considered knocking Lisa out and taking her to the bank over my shoulder. Except that I was going to have to carry Cathy as it was, and she was not being cooperative. She insisted that once she was in High Castle, she would be free and would find work in the barracks. We both knew what kind of work would be possible there.
Cathy had gained weight and muscle in her upper body. She was able to move much more quickly, dragging her legs behind her. I was attempting to teach her how to use my canes, but we had no parallel bars to support her or braces for her legs to keep them straight. I determined from our calmer conversations that her pelvis had been broken in the accident and when she healed, it impinged the movement of her legs. It was definitely a job for the healing chamber.
When we reached High Castle, I was a defeated man. Both Lisa and Cathy had worn me down. At the gate, I formally turned control of the circus over to Lees and Legs. Then Lisa drove our wagon up to the bank. I threw Cathy over my shoulder, grabbed my canes, and ran straight to the vault with her screaming that she was being kidnapped and beating on my back. A couple of soldiers began at once to beat on the vault door, which remained firmly latched. I had to call for my box to trigger the portal and realized I still had a variety of knives and my sword.
Cathy realized it at the same time and managed to snatch one from my belt, driving it into my shoulder. I slammed the lid of my box shut and felt the wrenching disorientation that brought me into the portal.
Cathy’s next strike with the knife found her hand empty and merely beat on the open wound with her fist.
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