Bob’s Memoir: 4,000 Years as a Free Demon
71
Season Finale
I HAD TO DO a lot of testing. I grabbed a satchel and slung it over my shoulder, then opened a gateway back to my mansion and stepped through. I had the satchel still over my shoulder, but when I stepped through the gateway, there was still one on the floor in my study. So were a couple of dozen women there and Doug was trying to keep them calm about where I’d disappeared to. They were surprised to see me back.
Naked.
In full goat form.
So many things to remember.
I said a little spell and transformed to my Bob persona.
“Aren’t special effects just incredible?” I said as if I had just entered for my own comedy special. “I once saw a guy just evaporate into thin air. And he wasn’t even on TV!” My original crew were all laughing. They’d seen me in full goat form already and figured I was just some kind of morphing alien. The new contestants were a little shaken. I reached into the bag and Josie handed me a pair of pants and a shirt.
“Well, that was exciting,” I said. “You all know from watching last season that I possess some super technology, including a portal that I use to get to and from my secret palace. I carry it around in my satchel. Only I just discovered that I haven’t had that satchel for months! And don’t worry about me exposing that right now, because we haven’t even started airing this season and we’re recording the final episode now. By the time it airs, we’ll all be safe and sound at my palace. Assuming you all want to go. One of the things you all need to think about tonight is whether you really want to make this commitment to leave earth, because once we enter the portal to my palace, you will rarely if ever see earth again.”
There was some murmuring as the new contestants started asking the first crew what it was really like. Of the new contestants, only Annie had actually seen the palace and understood that it was actually in an alternate dimension.
“Bob, are we going to be safe there?” Mia asked.
“Absolutely,” I said. “That’s what this whole adventure is about. Making sure my palace is safe from intrusion and destruction. It’s also about keeping it a perfect world. Well, maybe not perfect. But it’s pretty damn nice.”
“That’s for sure,” Artemisia said. “Bob, you know I’m with you. I’ll follow you into outer space. I’ll follow you to Timbuktu. I’ll follow you to bed. Give me any task and I’ll do it. Just let me be with you.”
That girl. Zhi had always had a special place as my devotee, but Artemisia had joined her fully. With those two women, I didn’t need worship, I didn’t need marriage, I didn’t need possession. They lived for me and I wanted to keep them happy for many years to come.
“Okay,” I said. “In the next few hours, I want you all to put together a strategy for rescuing a whole bunch of enslaved women. I’m going to give you a list of resources that we can use, but we’ll need to execute it in eleven different cities in one night. Yes, it’s going to be a bit hairy, but we have ‘technology’ that no one else in the world has.”
“Bob, why don’t you just share that technology with the police or that FBI chick who was here? Why do you think you have to be the one to do this rescue?” Sonia asked.
“Well, there are a couple of reasons. My tech doesn’t work with any other tech on this planet. In fact, to use it, a person would have to unlearn four thousand years of human science, and then study for a thousand to learn how to use it. The only person I know who has made the leap is Sally, who jumped back home with me and will be back later. Ask Mia what Sally can do.”
“I saw her weld a bunch of bricks together with a few words,” Mia said. “I examined them before and after. It was incredible.”
“But my tech is also fairly incompatible with the most advanced human technology. For example, I can make my satchel invisible to the human eye.” I set the bag on my desk and cast the look-away spell. “In this room, you all just saw the bag disappear. On television, people are going, ‘What’s the big deal? I can still see the bag.’ Well, the problem is that my stealth technology only works on the human eye. Electronic devices, including the video cameras, can see it just fine. I demonstrated this once to Annie. Honey, lead them through the exercise.”
“Sure, Bob. Everybody get out your cellphone and turn on your camera. Then start scanning the area on Bob’s desk.”
The whole cast and crew got out cellphones and started looking. They were looking over the tops of their devices and then at the screen. Amy got up and came to the desk. It was fun to watch her looking at her phone while she reached out her hand to feel for the satchel. When she touched it, she gasped.
“Now I see it. It’s… wait… it’s gone again.” She touched it again. “I can only see it when I’m in contact with it.”
All the girls and Tommy had to get up and follow their cellphones to the desk and touch the bag.
“You see the problem. I have stealth technology, but it can be detected by human tech. That is one of the things you need to consider in your planning of our rescue operation. Another tech I have is the portal, but it may be that I have to have a satchel at each location I want to port to. I’m not going to indicate why, but at the moment, it only seems to work when one of these satchels is present. Yet the FBI, and probably other organizations around the world, have torn the satchel completely apart, down to the threads that hold it together, and can’t find any sign of the portal. We need to consider this.”
“And finally, we need to deal with the very real possibility that the bad guys who are holding these sex slaves might be—no, are willing to kill us to keep their slaves. And, of course, we have to figure out what to do with ten thousand women and children we intend to rescue and what to do with their captors. I’m going to leave you to work on planning this effort as I take off for a while to scout the locations. I’m not sure how long this will take, but I know that once people enter the cycle of slavery, they don’t have much time to be rescued before they are sold off and transported out of our reach. With the idea of a rescue mission in the air, we can anticipate that the bad guys will start to anticipate it and may start moving their merchandise to other locations sooner rather than later. Your mission, if you accept it, is to beat them to the punch and rescue these people who are being trafficked.”
I looked around at all the cast and crew and saw them beginning to nod as the ideas started coming. I picked up the satchel and slung it over my shoulder as I had done thousands of times in the past and opened a gateway. I stepped through, taking the satchel with me, and closed the gate behind me.
I was back in Areola and Lacy was waiting for me.
“Excuse the old goat in me, but I really liked you naked,” I said.
“We finish this raid and I promise I will live the rest of my life naked for you, Bob.”
“It’s that important?” I tested her.
“It’s that important.”
“You’ve visited each of the locations from a safe distance, right? I’m going to need to borrow your memories of those places.”
“Take them, Bob. I give you permission.”
I looked at and memorized each of the eleven locations, then opened a gateway and popped into the first East Coast location in Massachusetts. At first glance from the rooftop where we arrived, it looked like any other shipping port. Lacy led me to the edge of the roof where we peered over at a dock.
“In there,” she said.
I wanted confirmation and checked all around for surveillance devices. There were the typical security cameras overlooking the dock and a traffic camera at the gate. I fixed a point on the roof in my mind and opened a gateway. We popped back to Areola and then I opened the gate to the rooftop. We stepped out near the door from inside to the roof. I did another check for surveillance, hoping the look-away spell I’d cast on the two of us would be all that was necessary. I took hold of the doorknob and whispered an unbinding spell.
The whole door came loose, which was not my intent. I only wanted to unlock it. We listened carefully and I moved the door aside so we could enter.
We could see what we needed to see from the top of the stairs. The warehouse was filled with cages. In the cages were women and adolescents. They quietly sobbed. It was all I could do not to summon the priestesses immediately, but Lacy gripped my arm and I backed out, replacing the door, and putting a temporary binding spell on it. Lacy and I flashed back to Areola and I swore.
“Whoever has imprisoned them will die!” I declared. “Let’s go to the next one.”
I opened a gateway and we were in the restroom of a small coffee house. We listened and as soon as we were sure the way was clear, I released the look-away spell and the two of us walked to the front of the shop and ordered coffee like any couple out for a morning stroll.
In fact, we were in a popular tourist area of a historic seaport on the north side of Long Island Sound.
“This looks like a typical New England tourist spot,” I said. “Even a college here.”
“Makes it much harder to locate the prison,” Lacy said. “It’s actually on campus.”
We walked across the lawns of the old college.
“The mansion of the founder on the edge of the campus is deserted. Supposedly. It was closed five years ago because it was deemed unsafe and in need of structural abatement. No one has come forward with the money to do the restoration and renovation. But right here, on the college campus, over two hundred sex slaves are housed and transferred on a constantly rotating basis. This quiet little community is a hub of international sex trafficking, right under the nose of the proper and respectable people who live here. The good thing is that there is very little external security and it is all routed through the college security office. Inside, the guards are well armed and brutal. Rumors of late have indicated the house is haunted. In reality, it has an entire warren of underground rooms that date back from the American Revolution,” Lacy explained.
I snapped some pictures of the beautiful campus and the mansion as we strolled by. We entered a classroom building and saw signs that pointed to campus police. After scouting by and seeing the unattended video monitors of the campus, we slipped into a bathroom. I opened a gateway to Areola and we left.
“Do we have to return to Areola each time we move to a new location?” Lacy asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. “I was doing it automatically.”
We went to the next location, which was a dilapidated warehouse on a US Air Force Base.
“This is a difficult one. An Air Force general is leading the operation here and uses storage facilities on the base. Containers of people are moved out into cargo planes and flown to other locations. I don’t have a good record of where they go. The hardest part is that the outside guards here have no idea what they are guarding. They’re just airmen on duty. There’s no way those inside can be unaware, though.”
It was sickening, and some of the tightest security I’d seen. It was a US Military installation.
I focused on the next destination and we had a little jolt before we arrived at a plantation in Georgia. I surmised that the jolt was us passing through Areola without stopping. That would work. We kept traveling all day and all night, as we made the loop around the coastal areas of the United States. Massachusetts, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Florida, Louisiana, Texas, Texas, California, California, Oregon. When we stepped back into Areola, I was sick at heart and eager to get moving. Lacy’s stories of what was happening at each staging point and who was involved were almost unbelievable if I hadn’t seen the evidence myself.
It was time to see what was happening with my TV show cast and crew. I’d sent video of each location to them from my cell phone. I wondered what they’d done with it.
“Two issues we can deal with right away,” May said. “We have the technology to jam video signals and cellphone signals. Zero bars. Doug took care of ordering plenty of supplies for us and we expect them to get here by noon today. That PREMO service is great.”
My family, cast, and crew were all dressed in camo outfits that reminded me of the kind of thing you’d see in an old B-movie of sexy women as jungle fighters. There was a lot of flesh displayed and even with the look-away spell on them, I thought they needed to paint up the rest of their bodies. I’d help with that.
“But, aside from Artemisia, Lacy, and Lalonda, none of us are well enough trained to take on all those people,” Sonia said. “Peninnah told us a story about having been kidnapped in Japan and how the black-clad ninja priestesses of Bob had rescued her. I’m not sure about our Bob having priestesses who worship him, but I’m willing to accept their help when it comes to mowing down the bad guys.”
“It seems you’ve mastered the art of opening a portal from and to anywhere,” Liz said. “So, transportation to each site shouldn’t be a problem. You should transport in with the electronics team and let them do their thing to block transmission. Then move in with the ninjas and clean out the bad guys. Any one or all of us will help nail the bastards to the walls.”
“We have the problem of other technology picking up our movements, like motion detectors, that could send a signal to police or to other bad guys. That would make it bad if we were going from one to the next to the next,” Amy said. I was really happy I’d reconsidered the single mom from Australia. She always had ideas. In and out of bed.
“What’s the answer to that problem? We can move quickly from location to location, but probably not faster than the speed of an electronic signal. Plus, it is going to take a while in each of these locations to clean things up, no matter how quickly and efficiently we mop up the bad guys,” I said.
“Here’s what we’re thinking,” Tommy said. “It will only take two or three of us in each location to take out the surveillance. Preplant us. Take a team of two or three of us to each location, maybe with a bodyguard or two, and as soon as everyone is in position, we take out all the surveillance at once. That way they won’t be able to communicate with each other. And don’t hit them in order like you did when you surveyed the sites. They need to be so confused they don’t know which way we’re coming from.”
“And take out the military installation first. They have the most firepower and pose the greatest risk to the whole operation,” Ranisha said.
“I might be able to take out more of their surveillance,” Suhani added. “I think we can depend on the guys in India to do exactly as we want. I built a backdoor into the code that would let me disable any satellite we focused on. That means the base would go dark.”
“We don’t want to take out the entire American military surveillance system. That would be perilous for the country. If we can limit it to that base, I’m good with that. I’m not happy about leaving people in locations without me present, though. And if I leave two priestesses in each location as guards, that would nearly cut our attack force in half,” I argued.
“What about those guards?” Julie asked. She pointed to the side of the room where Ali and five warriors were still standing guard over an empty satchel. “I’ve met a lot more people in Areola than the priestesses who are trained in martial arts. Maybe not as honed to an edge as the priestesses, but surely enough to have guard duty. Zhi could take on an army by herself.”
“And has,” I said. “Get everything we need here and be ready to move tonight. I think we should take out the big installation here in California first after the military base. Then hit a South base location next to keep them wondering where we’ll strike next. But we have one more problem. What do we do with all the freed slaves? Put your minds to that while I go rally the troops in Areola. Lacy, you should stay here with the cast and help get things organized. There must be some law enforcement people we could depend on.”
She nodded. I opened a gateway and transferred to Areola.
Getting the priestesses and fifty more skilled warriors ready to launch an earth invasion was less problem than one would imagine. An inventor in our community who had come from the construction industry when I was building in the Midwest, came up with a tool to help the priestesses with their task. He created a nail gun that didn’t require an air compressor. The priestesses were so pleased with the new tool that they almost touched the poor guy when they blessed him. They holstered their nail guns and glowed with the fierce light of The Bob.
I went to see Nimia and Josie. Of course, my other wives and possessions were with them. I’d brought Peninnah and Liz back with me from the mansion.
“What do we do with the slaves?” I asked.
I really couldn’t see transporting ten thousand women into Areola. I wasn’t sure how that would improve their lot. They must all—or at least some—have homes they want to return to. And some might be badly damaged and beyond our reach to heal.
“We could quarantine them and sort them out after the operation. Now you could return any of them to any place in the world since you know how to open a portal,” Nimia said.
“I could organize a welcoming committee,” Maya said. “There are many people in our world who remember what it was like to be snatched out of the world they knew and brought to this one. This would be one of the times that the flower children of the sixties would be good to use. Some of them still think they are tripping out in the best trip ever.”
“Bob, excuse me, but there is a priestess of Aphrodite at the palace asking for an audience with you,” Oza said. He was one of my most faithful retainers and had been attached to the household since before I reached India.
“By all means bring her in,” I said.
A beautiful naked woman who had served in Aphrodite’s temple in Troy approached me and knelt before me.
“Oh, Bob. I have received a message from my goddess Aphrodite and beg leave to deliver it.”
“Yes, yes. How is My Lady Goddess?” I hadn’t heard from Aphrodite in a year. She’d managed to send me one of my favorite contestants, Deedee, during the first season of our show. She’d last appeared to me as I made love to Deedee.
That should have given me a clue regarding what happened next. The priestess crawled into my lap, kissing her way up my chest to my lips and then sliding down to impale herself on my cock. I think all messages from Aphrodite are delivered in that way.
“Bob, I can only maintain this link for a few minutes,” the priestess said. I looked into her eyes and saw before me the most beautiful woman in the universe. Aphrodite had taken over. “Zeus has blessed your operation. He has granted me permission to bring any of the women who would serve me to Olympus. Like in Areola, they will always be cared for and treasured. There are many who were captured because they still pray to me and I would not have them suffer further for my sake.”
“That is wonderful, My Lady Goddess. I thank you and I thank Zeus.”
“There is more. I have a gift from Apollo.” She gave me a quiver of arrows that materialized in my hand. “These are arrows enchanted by the bright god of the sun and poetry. It is the same enchantment used by the Trojans and anyone struck by one of these arrows will die. Yes, that includes any strike of the arrow, whether or not it would be deemed fatal otherwise. Like when Achilles was struck in the heel by the arrow of Paris.”
This was an incredible gift. I would be armed and able to help my priestesses in the battle. As I moved in the priestess and we approached our climax, the quiver of arrows transformed itself into a modern handgun and holster.
“The gift of Zeus is to make the bow of Apollo into something more manageable in your world today,” she gasped. “Oh, Bob! I have missed you! Fill me!”
I had no difficulty granting her request and as my orgasm faded, so did My Lady Goddess. I kissed the priestess tenderly and she smiled, making no move to dislodge herself. I guess I didn’t mind. I was making no move to get rid of her.
We finally devised a plan and decided how to blend this last rescue effort into our reality television show.
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