Bob’s Memoir: 4,000 Years as a Free Demon
60
Lessons in Competition
SO, I DIDN’T INTEND to get so carried away with this little story, but it’s important to understand that I was really cut loose on my own to figure out how to ‘interview’ the contestants. And everything I was doing was being recorded. I returned to my hotel room, locked the doors, and went into Areola for a conference.
“She’s, um… cute,” Liz said when she viewed the footage that had been recorded.
“She was really forward in getting you to ask her out. And she seemed to have a program all set regarding what to do. Nice and safe to go to a bar just a floor above her tailor shop to meet and not reveal anything else about where she lives or really who she is,” Peninnah added.
“I don’t like her,” Artemisia said. “She’s used to running things, including all the people around her. I bet she owns that shop and farms the work out to other tailors. She certainly can’t expect you back tomorrow for a preliminary fitting if she was doing the work herself. Unless she doesn’t sleep. She had no problems accepting a date.”
“Bob, just go with it. Take Avril as your evening camerawoman. She’s really learned how to disappear and operate a drone, as well as her shoulder camera. If necessary, I can go out to pick her up if there are complications,” Doug said.
At seven o’clock, I lost track of Avril as she disappeared into the surrounding shops. She knew how to work with the look-away spell so that she was never in a likely place for people to look. The doors to the shop were locked, so I stood outside in my Italian suit and open collar. About ten minutes after the hour, Sue came to the door and locked it again behind her.
Wow!
She reached up to kiss me on the cheek and take my hand. I had to just stand and stare at her a moment.
Her daytime clothes were professional. She wore tailored slacks that emphasized her narrow waist and a crewneck blouse that just barely touched her belt. It had been loose enough that she could place my hand on her very flat stomach. She’d worn her hair in a tight knot on top of her head and had subtle makeup on.
Her evening wear and appearance were so different from the day that I almost didn’t recognize her. She wore a red off-the-shoulder sheath dress that hugged her body like a second skin. The length was just below the knee, but when she turned to show me the outfit, I realized it was slit on the left to mid-thigh. She wore high heel spikes that were reminiscent of Peninnah’s favorites.
“I knew you’d change into something nice for the evening,” she said. “I’m sorry I kept you waiting, but I felt it was important to try to look as good as you would.”
“I think you exceeded that goal quite nicely.”
Her straight black hair hung loosely around her shoulders. She took my hand and led me to the escalator to the next floor where The Chase bar was located.
“This bar is a cut above the rest in the building. They frown on girls coming in to cruise, but they’ll be fine with us. Since I brought you in with me, they won’t charge an outrageous price for drinks, either. At the ‘four floors’ bars upstairs, they charge double when a guy buys a girl a drink. It’s outrageous, but that’s their cut.” We were seated and ordered martinis. They weren’t bad. I noted the bar only stocked top shelf brands.
“So, how long have you been working at Mohan’s Tailor Shop?” I asked. “You certainly know your way around a tape measure.”
“I’ve been here five years. I went to a vocational school that taught me all about tailoring and measuring. And it’s a good place to meet nice affluent gentlemen. If you were to be here around nine o’clock tonight, you’d see the clientele in the building take a definite swing down the social ladder. That’s why all the shops in the building close at seven so we can go home.”
“What do you like best about your job?” I asked.
“Meeting people. I like to meet as many men as possible,” she said. “Now tell me about what you do.”
“I run a small import/export business,” I answered. I’d been practicing this repeatedly. I knew my business. “I deal in commodities, so it’s not like I’m importing and exporting native carvings or jewelry. I trade in tankers of oil, freighters of grain, ROROs with expensive automobiles.”
“Oh, my. You must travel all over the world.”
“I’ve traveled around the world several times.”
We continued to chat and sip our drinks for nearly an hour.
“Well, Bob, I always like to have a chat with a gentleman before we move to the next level. I can usually tell when a guy is genuinely a nice guy, no matter what he wants from me. So, I’ll be up front with you. If you want the date to continue past eight o’clock, I can be yours until one a.m. for just $500 US. If we decide it will be an all-nighter, that is $800. If we decide that early, though, I’d like to go to my apartment and pick up clothes for tomorrow. I’m sure we’ll have a good time, no matter how we decide to spend the time between now and then. I have to leave in the morning by ten in order to get freshened up and back to work at eleven.”
“Five hun… Eight… You charge for your time and… uh… favors?”
“Bob, everything in Singapore comes with a price. That’s why I told you to bring cash. There are girls who will lie to you and get you to romance them and marry them, but then they will have everything you have. I decided long ago to announce my price up front and then you can leave town on your business trip and never think twice about what you’ve left behind. And don’t think that this mercenary attitude comes with a dead lay. I promise you that you will have a night like you could only expect from the most loving girlfriend,” she said.
“That… uh… just surprised me, is all,” I said. She’d certainly given the parameters. I gave up wondering what I should do and reached for my wallet. “I think a night with you sounds delightful.”
“Not in the bar, Bob. There is plenty of time to transfer funds when we are in private. Did you just want to head straight back to your hotel, or did you want to continue with dinner and maybe a walk along the ocean harbor while we continue to get to know each other?” she asked.
“Oh, definitely dinner and a walk. I would never suggest we do anything else on an empty stomach. Do you have a restaurant you’d suggest?” I asked.
“Oh, Bob, should it happen that you have time to meet any other girls on your stay-over, that is a question you never want to ask. There is a list of very expensive restaurants that escorts like to be taken to, but most of them don’t know how to behave in one. I do, but I’m not asking for a five star dinner. Have you had chili crab since arriving in Singapore? It’s very spicy, but a signature dish for the city. Usually, restaurants charge from $35 to $50 for it.”
“I’ve not had chili crab in many years. It sounds delightful.”
“I know an out of the way restaurant in the Geylang District. It’s not far from my apartment, so it will be easy to pick up my bag after dinner.”
We agreed and headed out for one of the best meals I’d had in a long time. The restaurant might have been out of the way—and was called simply, “No Signboard”—but the food was wonderful and the atmosphere was vibrant, both inside and outside the restaurant. I wondered that she actually lived in what was reputed to be the most popular sex tourism area of Singapore. We passed three brothels on the way to her apartment. She asked me to please wait in the lobby while she ran up to get her bag. She was down in a flash.
“I keep my bag packed in case I need it,” she smiled. “Now, how about that walk, my love.”
Her little endearments had become more intimate as the evening wore on. Knowing we had all night, we didn’t rush to my hotel, but walked along the harbor, stopping to see the lion fountain, and continuing around the Marina. It was very colorful. Sue was leaning on me more and more and I finally woke up to the fact that she was walking in those impossible high heels. I called for a cab and swept her up in my arms to meet it and get her off her feet.
“Oh, Bob, you’re so gallant.” She leaned in to kiss me for our first real kiss of the night. By the time we got to the hotel, she was practically in my lap. “This is a good hotel,” she said. “They don’t ask questions when a young lady accompanies a man to his room.”
“I just thought it looked nice and comfortable,” I said. “I hadn’t really thought about inviting a young lady to my room.”
“I should walk as far as the elevator, though,” she said as we got out of the cab. “It’s not good to raise too many eyebrows by being carried.”
“Certainly, sweetheart. Hold tightly to my arm and I’ll support you.”
“Thank you, love.”
It wasn’t long before we were at my suite and she looked around in awe. Somehow, however, I didn’t think it was the first time she’d seen a hotel room of this caliber.
And that is where the evening got very interesting. Yes, we made love, but Sue knew how to turn a man on far beyond simply getting undressed to show her exquisite body to him. She continued to talk to me as we undressed each other, caressing me in delightful ways that did not immediately focus on my cock. Of course, she got to that and gasped a little when she couldn’t fit her hand around it.
“Many Chinese girls would run when they saw this,” she said. “In fact, my mother only worked in Geylang and never slept with anyone except Chinese men. I got over that racist idea the first time I slept with an American. I am one of the few Chinese girls who would stand a chance of getting you all inside me. Would you like to try that, Bob? Would you like to see if all this wonderful cock will fit in my little Asian yinhu?”
The answer to that was obvious and before long I was stretched out on my back as Sue managed to stretch herself around my cock. She was focused, but still relaxed as she managed to get me completely in her. And incredibly tight. I was afraid we wouldn’t be able to slide at all, but she provided all the lubrication needed to make the passage easy and stimulate the maximum pleasure. And she was right about it being the best fake loving experience I’d ever had.
We did not fuck all night, but we did a lot of those little things that lovers do, like sitting with a plate of cheese and fruit between us, I had ordered from the all-night room service. We laughed and stole little kisses. We talked. And we made love.
“What do you hope for in the future?” I asked her.
“Oh, impossible dreams. I dream that Prince Charming will find me and fall in love and I can pretend to be in love for the rest of my life with a man who treats me like a princess and provides for my every need. I’d only have one man that I had to spread my legs for and I’d do it willingly for the rest of my life. It’s what I know how to do best. But I also know it won’t happen, so I’m saving every penny I can with a goal of retiring alone in five years. You’d be surprised how profitable my line of work can be. I have a good savings account.”
“Why do you think you’d have to live alone and that Prince Charming would never find you?”
“Oh, he might find me, but once he knew what I do for a living, he’d never rescue me. You know that old movie Pretty Lady? Lies. All lies. I’m so used to pretending to be in love that I don’t think I’d recognize it if I actually was. I even applied to that Bob television show, To Boldly Go. I figure that if he accepted me, I’d never want for anything again, and I would happily let him fuck me as much as he wanted. I doubt it would be that much because he’s got so many women. I’d just be one of them, taking my turn when it comes around. I suspect that’s what most of the others do. I mean, why would anyone really fall in love with him and still be willing to share him with a hundred other women in his harem? And when he found out I’m really just a whore, that would be all. Although, maybe he’d just pay me enough to make my dream of living alone securely for the rest of my life a reality.”
“That’s somehow rather sad,” I said.
“Don’t let it get you down! That’s not what this conversation or this night is for. Let me show you just what he’ll be missing.”
With that, Sue proceeded to make sure I was ready to mount her and opened her legs wide.
I paid for two more nights with Sue. I could have just left and forgot about the suit and all, but I did like her. She was a very convincing actress, though I don’t think she was used to having the same guy every night. The third night the conversation and the actions became repetitive. I recognized the exact whine she used to indicate she was coming, even when I knew she wasn’t. I had a feeling that the next guy—tomorrow?—would hear the same intimate stories and that in a week, I would not even be remembered.
So sad, but that night, I caught a flight to Sydney, Australia.
I will not dwell with such detail on the next two contestants. I found the next one, in Sydney, on a long walk in the park. She was pushing a baby stroller. The toddler was about two years old. We chatted a bit as we walked along and I found she was a single mom, desperate to do anything to ensure the safety of her son. I didn’t need to even ask her about her dreams. She told me that she was sure that when The Bob met her little boy, he would be so moved he would sweep them both up and take them to his palace, because what would a new colony on Mars be like without children?
I moved on to Toronto.
The little coffee shop in which I found barista Louise had posters of To Boldly Go along with photos of me and all the women on the first show posted all around the shop. There were also signs that said, “Bob, I’m ready to go. Take me!”
Louise was wearing a button on her uniform that said, “I’ll boldly go!” She was quite attractive, but during the time I was in the shop, four men tried to convince her that they were Bob. She laughed at all of them, including the bald paunchy man who said he was in disguise. I thought all four of the men had a pretty high opinion of themselves to try to pretend to be me. One even had an ID that just said “Bob.” I wondered how many of those were floating around. When I finally got up to the counter, she looked me up and down.
“I suppose you’re Bob, too,” she sighed.
“Oh, no. I just want a cup of coffee.”
“Really?”
“Well, I’d like to take you out tonight, too, but right now, just coffee.”
“That’s refreshing. So, if you were to take Louise out on a date, what would you do?” she asked.
“Well, first, I’d try to find out what she likes, then see if I could arrange to do that. Failing that, I’d ask her what would be second best. I’m sure we could find something agreeable.”
“Hockey. The Maple Leafs are playing tonight. Get good tickets to that and I’ll go with you,” she laughed. I took my coffee and left to make some calls. An hour and a half later, I walked back into the coffee shop and approached the counter.
“Louise, I’d like to take you out tonight. Do you like hockey?” I laid the tickets on the counter and she nearly jumped the counter to hug me.
“Yes! Yes! I want to go with you! Bob will just have to wait and come for me tomorrow!”
I did take her to the game and she was very into it, but she talked all the time. All I ever did was nod or shake my head. When I took her home, she leaned across the seat and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, then hurried out of the car and into her apartment building.
I caught my flight back to Honolulu the next morning.
I was excited to get back to Honolulu and, I admit, to Annie. I’d had dates with four women on this trip and there was no question that I would choose Annie to come with us. If she’d agree. Before I contacted her, I had a strategy meeting with the crew, wives, and possessions.
“I agree,” Artemisia said. “I never really liked the girl in Singapore and we’d know she was pretending all the time.”
“I thought the Toronto was a bit of an airhead fangirl,” Karla added. “That she’ll be just as happy with an autographed picture.”
“I had a lot of hope for the woman in Australia,” Lalonda said. “She seemed so simple and down-to-earth. And even though she somehow failed to mention her son in any of the applications or forms, it was a sweet story and it wouldn’t hurt us to have a child along for the ride.”
“Are you sure we’re going about this the right way with you pretending not to be The Bob?” Liz asked. “Maybe being right up front about it would have been a better approach. I’m afraid Annie’s going to be really upset about being deceived. She’s fallen in love.”
“That’s what makes her the best choice,” Nimia said. “That and Bob’s in love with her.”
“Each of them tickled my fancy in a way. I’m sure that if Annie hadn’t come into the picture, the decision would be between Sue in Singapore and Amy in Australia. And I’d have just left it up to you all to decide. But I want Annie. What do I need to do to get her?” I asked. It was a stimulating conversation that went on all night, with frequent interruptions for loving. The next morning, I called Annie and made arrangements to meet her for lunch.
I drove myself this time. The car wasn’t particularly fancy, but it had room for Annie and me in the front seat and a camera crew in the back. So far, we’d depended on one person to operate both a handheld camera and a drone. This was going to be too intense to assume one operator could get everything.
“Bob! You came back!”
“I told you I would, Annie. I’m here for you.”
“I was so worried. I missed you.”
She proceeded to show me how she’d missed me with a kiss that nearly melted the sidewalk.
“Let’s just get some carry-out food and go back to your beach house. I just want to be with you.”
“I’ll do anything you want to. We don’t need to rush.”
“I want you to read this,” she said, handing me an envelope. It was addressed to our studio back in California. Inside the envelope was a short letter asking that her name be removed from consideration for a place on Bob’s crew.
“Um… About this, Annie…”
“If you’ll have me, Bob, I’ll send this letter and we’ll be together. I don’t want anyone but you. If you feel the same way I do, let’s go to the post office and mail it.”
“Well, what if I told you I’m The Bob?”
“Oh, honey, please. I’ve already fallen in love with you. Don’t make things up just to convince me. It would cheapen it so much.”
“If you met The Bob, how would you know it? You know he won’t come around looking like the guy on TV.”
“Yes, but… Well, first there would be cameras. I signed an agreement to be recorded any time I’m with The Bob because it’s part of the television thingy. And second, there would be the satchel with the transporter. And The Bob never goes anyplace without his wife Peninnah and his… um… producer, I guess, Liz.”
“And how would that make you feel if you saw all those things?” I asked.
“Well, kind of self-conscious, I suppose. I worked up all kinds of ways that I’d react so I could stand a chance of being coherent. Even rehearsed a speech or two. But, Bob, that doesn’t matter anymore. I just want to be with you—even if you do have a port in every girl.”
“Okay, look. This might sound crazy, but I’d like you to take my picture. Let’s see…” I quickly checked around for the cameras and chose a location. “This looks like a good place. Just get out your cellphone and look at me through the screen as you take a picture.”
“Okay, but you’re being a little weird just now,” she said. She got out her cellphone and hit the camera button. She looked at me to take the picture. “No. Not there. Someone’s flying a drone around and it keeps looking like it’s right over your shoulder. Move to the left a little.” She looked up from the phone. “Wait. It’s okay. I don’t see it now.” She looked back at the camera. “Now it’s back.” She looked around over the top of the camera. “What’s going on? I can see this thing through the camera, but not when I just look up.”
“It’s a kind of stealth technology. It can deceive the human eye, but it can’t deceive electronics. Your camera sees it, but your naked eye can’t.”
She scanned the area with her camera and stopped when she saw Avril.
“There’s a camerawoman!” she exclaimed. Avril waved at her but, of course Annie could only see her through the camera lens. “Bob… What’s this mean? I’m scared. There are people and machines around that I can’t see unless I’m looking through my camera.”
“You said that one of the ways you’d know I was The Bob was if there were cameras around.”
I was afraid Annie was going to hyperventilate. She looked faint.
“Come on, love. Let’s head for the beach house,” I said.
I led her to the car and as she was getting in the front seat, the camera crew quickly got in the back. When I closed the door, she jerked around at the apparent sound of the other doors closing. She didn’t see anything, but when I got in the car, I could tell she was getting her camera ready. I didn’t say anything. Suddenly, she swung around to the back seat with the camera raised in front of her. And screamed.
“Bob! There are people in the car with us!” She lowered the camera and then jerked around to face forward. “I’m going crazy.”
“No, love. You’re not crazy. They follow me everyplace I go. Like you, it’s part of my contract.”
“So, The Bob hires you to go out and find girls?” she asked. She was not computing the reality of my unreal existence.
“Well, I had to work out all sorts of contract things with the production company. If I’m going to be out meeting people, they have to record it for the show.”
“You don’t really look much like The Bob,” she said. “Maybe you should take me home.”
“I intend to,” I said, intentionally ignoring her meaning. I pulled up to the beach house and got out. The other doors opened at the same time as hers and she squeezed her eyes shut. We went inside.
“Okay. What about the satchel?” she demanded. I patted the bag hanging from my shoulder. “I know that bag. I sold it to you. That’s not The Bob’s satchel.”
“Amazingly, with very few alterations, I found it to be the perfect size to fit the real satchel inside. No one has even thought to look beyond the obvious when I went through airport security because they see so many of them now.” I set the bag on the table, opened it and pulled the real satchel out of it. She shook her head.
“Very funny. You’re a good mime,” she said.
“Here, will you hold this for me?” I turned with both bags in my hands and she held her hand out to take the new satchel. Instead, I pressed the old one into her hands and she could immediately see it as well as feel it in her hands. She nearly dropped it. I steadied her hand.
“All of a sudden, I could see it and feel it. Like one of those magic shows!”
“Except if you’d been looking through the camera lens, you’d have seen it. Same stealth tech. So, let me see, you wanted to meet Peninnah and Liz,” I said.
“No! Wait! I… I’m not sure I want to know. I fell in love with this Bob. I don’t trust that I’ll love The Bob. What if everything is different? What if The Bob’s other wives don’t like me? I’m scared, Bob!”
“Annie, my love, don’t be frightened. This Bob fell in love with you, too. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt you. But the world is a much bigger place than most people imagine. In it, there are beings like me, who can change their look, hide things from the human eye, and even open a gate… or a transporter to my palace. What I’m asking, Annie, is that you just continue to love me and come with me on a great adventure that will last us both the rest of our very long lives.”
“Take me to bed, Bob. Take me to bed and love me like you loved me before you left on your trip. I want to know for sure that you are my Bob. Then you can convince me that you’re The Bob.”
That was an easy enough request to grant. We made love for hours and I tried to make sure she knew it was me and that I loved her.
“Are you ready, love? Will you come with me and be with me from now until forever?” I asked as we watched the sun rise over the ocean in the morning. I held her in my arms.
“Yes, my Bob. I will be with you forever. Let me meet Peninnah and Liz, and take me away to your palace. Oh. Should I dress?”
“No one else does.” I set the satchel on the lanai and opened the gateway. Annie sagged against me as Peninnah and Liz stepped through into the natural world. Liz was simply nude and barefooted. Peninnah had high heels, hose, and a garter belt on, with her huge diamond dangling in her navel. Liz rushed to Annie and hugged her.
“I’m so glad you’re coming to join us!” she said. “Oh, Annie this must have been such a stressful time for you.”
“Welcome to our family, Annie,” Peninnah said. “I hope we’ll be very happy together. Everyone is waiting to meet you.”
“Everyone? Here?”
“It would be easier if we went there,” I said. “Annie, would you go with me to my palace and meet the rest of my family and friends?”
“Yes, Bob,” she said draping her arms around my neck. “Please take me.” I lifted her up and followed Peninnah and Liz through the gateway.
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