Bob’s Memoir: 4,000 Years as a Free Demon
42
Ninjas
BATHING IS STILL a social activity in parts of Japan and I was invited to join the men of the various companies at a spa where we would spend a few hours being heated, cooled, massaged, and oiled. And given great amounts of liquor and long harangues about why one company was better than another. Peninnah insisted she wanted the experience as well, and since there was a women’s wing of the spa, she joined a few of the other wives who had accompanied their husbands. I had no misgivings.
We had been several hours in the spa when the women burst into the outer chamber of the men’s area. The attendants, who were all naked women, scattered and ran for cover as it was not common to have women bathing and massaging the men. My name was called frequently. I was nearly dressed, so I grabbed the satchel and went out to meet the women.
“Bob-san. Men burst into the salon while we were having our hair done. They quickly throw bag over Peninnah-san’s head and carry her out of the spa. She is kidnapped!”
I was furious and marched out to the outer area demanding to know which direction. A frightened attendant simply pointed up the street.
Back in the fourth century, I had been kidnapped and then my people searched for Lakshmi all night before he was found. After that, I equipped every person I brought into the infinity room and anyone I thought might spend time in the natural world with a tracking spell, so I would know where to find him or her. It had once been important when one of the first rescues from the pirates had attempted suicide by jumping overboard. I’d been able to find her in the ocean under a moonless sky because I was drawn to her.
It took only a moment to determine that Peninnah was being transported away in a car.
Ever since they were invented, I have been almost as fascinated with driving automobiles fast as I am with flight. I was not gentle with the driver of the car that happened to pull up to the curb in front of the spa. I pulled him out of the car, got in it, and drove off. I figured I’d leave a few million yen in the car when I got out.
I drove fast.
In a few minutes, I saw the gates closing on a huge estate where the kidnappers had disappeared. I parked the car I’d borrowed by the side of the road, left ten million yen on the seat, and went on the prowl. There were many guards around the wall of the estate. I was going to need help. I leapt a wall where there were no guards at the moment and followed my senses toward the house where Peninnah had been taken. Once I was near, I called for warriors to help me rescue my wife.
I was surprised when fifty black-clad ninjas emerged from the gateway to the infinity room. I enhanced their stealth with a look-away spell and set them loose to clear the way.
I slowly made my way to the house, occasionally stumbling over a body with its head at an odd angle. I wasn’t sure who my ninjas were, but they were ruthless. I cast about to see who I had loosed on the unsuspecting kidnappers and smiled when I found who was there. I went boldly into the house and up the stairs with no resistance.
The house and grounds, I discovered, belonged to the chairman of one of the competitors who had openly admired my wife and had made some lewd comments in Japanese to one of his men, assuming I could not understand. Since I did not depend on knowing the language to understand what was being said, I had marked him as mine to punish.
I transformed myself into the full demon and stalked through the house as if I owned it. Which, I contemplated, I soon would.
When I located the room in which Peninnah was held captive, I found she was free and not much the worse for wear. The chairman was surrounded by the bodies of his bodyguards and was held between two ninja girls, while a third held a knife—not at his throat, but at his balls. I approved.
It was hard to tell if the chairman was more frightened by the demon before him or by the prospect of losing his balls.
Peninnah rushed to me and I wrapped her in my arms.
“Are you hurt?” I asked.
“Only my pride and a few bruises,” she answered. She was wrapped in a kimono that looked far too big for her. “They ripped my clothes. That was one of my favorite Vera Wang ensembles. And I can’t find my shoes. Bob, it was terrible.”
I thought she seemed shorter than usual. She was barefoot. I also thought her concern for her clothes with the number of bodies lying around was perfectly illustrative of Peninnah’s sense of confidence in me and whoever I sent for her.
“Do not worry, dear. You can buy an entire new wardrobe with what Mr. Yakisoba is going to pay you.” I turned to the frightened Chairman. “Let us go to your office so you can sign over the ownership of your company to Peninnah,” I said.
“What? You can’t take my entire company!”
“No, of course not. Only your stake in it. In fact, no one will even be aware that things have changed, because you will never say anything about it. Peninnah will keep you as the chairman. You will make a good junior partner to Fukishina. Oh, and I’ll leave you your little estate and your income. I’m not a heartless demon. However, you will need to clean up the grounds. I’m afraid many in your little security army did not survive the night.”
We left the chairman, babbling at his desk, after he signed over his shares to Peninnah. His trousers had been slit open and his junk was hanging out. But at least it was still attached.
As soon as we left him, I summoned all my ninjas to me and they returned, with Peninnah, to the infinity room. I leapt the wall, leaving the bodies strewn behind me. It was too bad, but there are certain people you do not want to cross your path if you have abducted and mistreated a woman.
My priestesses were among them.
“Bob,” sniffed Peninnah when I had returned to our hotel and locked the door so I could open the infinity room. She rushed into my arms. “I’m terrible and selfish and caused you so much grief,” she began.
“Shh shh shh,” I admonished. “Being kidnapped was not your fault. We let our guard down and I bear as much responsibility as you. I need to ask Zhi to step up your self-defense training.”
“I don’t mean for that,” she sobbed. “I’ve been jealous and disdaining of your priestesses. In fact, of the idea of your divinity. But it was the priestesses of Bob who came to my rescue. When we returned to the infinity room, they took me to the temple and bathed me in the pool. They anointed me with oil and brought me here to our marriage bed. They are the most precious and wonderful and frightening women in all of two worlds.”
“Have I told you the story about how they came to be here and to be my priestesses?” I asked. She shook her head. “Those women endured kidnapping, beating, and serial rape at the hands of pirates in the Pacific. When I rescued them, they were so beaten down, we were unable to reach them at all. Then Zhi overheard them praying to Bob to save them. I had already rescued them from the pirates, but to their eyes, I was just another man. One of the girls threw herself overboard and I jumped in to save her. We were out in the middle of the Pacific and I had to use my full demon form and strength to rescue her. At that point, I was truly their savior Bob. No man is ever allowed to touch them, and they won’t even see me if I am not in my full demon form. The first dozen girls were the ones who rescued and helped the next ones. Thankfully, their number never exceeded the fifty-two who are still serving in the temple. I wonder how many poor innocents were out there in the Pacific that we didn’t find. But if a woman is in need, has been abused, or is threatened, they are like the ancient furies we named our ship after. They will mete out punishment and save that woman at all cost.”
“I will go to the temple tomorrow and make whatever sacrifices they demand. I will praise their god Bob, my husband, and thank them for rescuing me. And I promise, I will never again be jealous of the priestesses of Bob, nor will I despise them.”
“Amen,” I said.
She looked at me in surprise and we both started laughing. And laughter turned to loving.
Have I mentioned how much I love sex with Peninnah? She keeps herself flawlessly made up and attired (or unattired) entirely for my pleasure. She explores my body, discovering anew every detail of whatever form I have taken. She seeks out my erogenous zones and titillates them in any way she can. Her shape is exquisite and I thank Aphrodite for this treasure of a woman each time my hardened cock slides into her inner passage. She receives me excitedly and works the muscles in her vagina as much as we both work our hips. If she had been created entirely for the purpose of pleasing me, I would call her creator and prostrate myself before her. She is, I have decided, the last of my wives and possessions. I will treasure her forever.
We stayed joined together in loving all night long.
When Mr. Yakisoba offered to become a subsidiary partner to Fukishina in the development of the resort, the offer was quickly accepted and things began to move forward rapidly. Once the plan was approved and the full team was put together, the political machinery moved rapidly. Construction began with surveys and infrastructure the following week. Many of the competitors were further enlisted, following Yakisoba’s lead in becoming subcontractors and suppliers. When the foundations were poured, I was relatively certain there were bodies in the concrete footings.
A rumor flew around Japan that ninjas had appeared to take revenge on traffickers and those who would harm women. I might have encouraged that rumor by tracking down a couple of instances where kidnappings had occurred and loosing the priestesses on them. Bodies nailed to a wall were always a warning others paid heed to. And the rescued women and children, returning to their homes, told stories of ninja warriors who were faster than light and silent as death.
We continued on to India, where we were welcomed as new investors in a support system that could track nearly every object in the sky that had a signal. They were even tracking a few dead objects to make sure the launches of the new independent space companies were unobstructed. It was an attempt at unifying the tracking of space traffic in expectation of an increase in independent commercial launches. No one needed to launch on a collision trajectory with someone else’s launch. The traffic system would monitor all extra-atmospheric objects like a massive airport control tower.
As a sign of goodwill, we also started a community redevelopment project and sponsored a dozen different rehabilitation and restoration projects in various cities of India. We focused on paying for infrastructure improvements in poor areas, with the side effect that crime in those areas also went down. Another side effect was how pleased Lakshmi was that we were helping the people of her country of origin, though nearly 2,000 years after she lived there.
And then we decided to do Europe, visiting places I had not been in centuries. We stopped in Rome and Venice, but there was really nothing there Peninnah wanted to revisit. She appeared at my side and flew in first class with me, even though she’d have been more comfortable in the satchel. But it was necessary to keep up the appearance of being a loving couple on an around-the-world honeymoon during which we were conducting a bit of business, as well.
Finally, we landed in London and I considered taking a little side-trip up to the northern area.
It was a couple hundred years before Caesar led his fiasco to conquer the Britons, when I visited the islands for the second time. The first time, Poseidon had blown me through the channel at Gibraltar and I’d ended up on an island between England and Ireland. At the time, I was masquerading as Odysseus. The lying god of the sea told Helios I’d stolen his cattle. The truth was they were Manannán mac Lir’s cattle and I’d bargained for them. When I finally rebuilt my boat, the god of the Irish Sea wished me a good journey and invited me to return one day.
I thought I was paying him a visit, but managed to land on the English side of the sea. It was decidedly different.
The west coast of northern England was heavily wooded and dotted with lakes. I thought perhaps I’d found a place untouched by man, where I could possibly enter the infinity room and just stay for a while as I enjoyed my wives and concubines.
As I was wandering over the hills, I thought I heard singing. It was faint, but I followed the sound and it gradually became louder. Then it stopped altogether and I was lost. I was pretty good at navigating by the stars and had many charts in my satchel, but the forest was so dense that I could not see the stars and had only a vague notion of where I was. Rather than wander around in the dark, I found a soft bed of leaves and lay down to sleep, not entering the infinity room for fear that I would miss some malevolent beast in the forest.
In the morning, I gathered my bearings from the direction of the sunrise, but soon I heard the singing again. It didn’t seem so far off, so I decided to see if I could discover who owned the lovely voice. It didn’t take long before I came upon a stream with a pool beside a low hill. On a rock at the edge of the pool, with her feet dangling in the water, was a raven-haired beauty with pale skin. She had strands of flowers woven into her hair and ivy snaked around her legs. She wore a gossamer gown, pulled up to her waist as she idly kicked her feet in the water.
I must have sighed or made some such noise when I saw her beauty, because she jerked her head up to glare at me for interrupting her singing.
“Who are you to interrupt Tiona’s singing?” she demanded.
“Bob begs Tiona’s forgiveness. He was drawn by her lovely voice.”
“So is the fawn,” she said pointing at a young red deer. “But the fawn does not comment on my music.”
“Had a deer the voice of a man, he would sing the praises of Tiona all day long.”
“Just like a man to make such a noise,” she said.
“I accept your rebuke. Perhaps I could join the fawn and silently listen.”
“There is no sense sitting in the mud,” she teased. “Come sit beside me on the rock and I will sing you a lullaby.”
I crossed the stream and settled near her, but not touching, on her rock. And she began again to sing. I drowsed lazily, letting the music wash over me. Then I started awake. Her music was enchanting. Literally. I whispered a spell to resist all magic and she turned suddenly toward me, ceasing her singing.
“Do you not like my voice? Does it not make you feel relaxed?” she breathed, drawing the word out in a way that would surely make a mortal fall under her spell.
“I find I need very little sleep these days, fair lady. I like your singing so much I wanted to stay awake for it. To drowse during such a concert would surely be an insult to the musician.”
“Poo! You’re no fun!” she said. “If you stay awake, how am I to lure you into my mound for dinner.”
“You might just invite me,” I said.
She looked me up and down.
“You are not what you appear to be,” she said.
“I daresay, you might not be either.”
“Oh, this is me. Your misperception is that I’m simply a human girl bathing in the pond. I’m not human!”
“Well, fancy that! I’m not human either!”
“I knew it! Perhaps you’ve been sent here to unite our kingdoms by marrying me. We shall rule over all.”
“Oh, I don’t think so. No one sent me and I bring my kingdom with me wherever I go,” I said. “What kind of demon are you?”
“Demon! I am not such a lowly creature. I am Queen of the Fae. At least in this mound I call my home.”
“Ah, I see. Well, I am but a lowly creature, then.”
“Oh. I didn’t mean to insult you. I never thought I would meet a demon. You’re rather nice,” she said.
“Thank you. I think you are rather nice as well, though I’ve never met a faerie before. Are they all so beautiful?” I asked. She preened.
“I might be slightly more beautiful than most,” she whispered. “I am a queen, after all.”
“Ah, yes. Of course. I am merely a wandering demon, free to travel wherever I desire.”
“You mean you’ll leave me? We haven’t even gotten married or made love or anything! This is not how the stories are told,” she moaned.
“Well, I suppose I could make love to you, and even marry you, but I would still leave.”
“Um… Well, maybe we could test it and see how it would be. Do you really think I’m beautiful?”
“Very beautiful,” I said. “The most beautiful faerie I’ve ever seen.”
She apparently missed my meaning as I’d never seen a faerie before. She practically glowed with the praise. In truth, she was very beautiful, and nicely displayed as well. I thought of Aphrodite and wondered if all women of great beauty were so vain.
The thin dress she wore really hid nothing beneath it. She was a slight creature with proportionally small breasts, but her arousal was obvious on them. She had a small patch of dark hair on her mons, but it did not extend down between her legs. Her face was delicately featured with lips that begged to be kissed. In a moment of weakness, I kissed them.
“That is a good test,” she sighed. “Do it again.”
I did it again and again and again. We tested our compatibility in every position we could think of. My juices co-mingled with hers and ran down her thighs. My lips found hers again and again and we were still making love by the pond when morning came.
“In my land, when you come together three times, you are automatically married,” she laughed. “I believe we exceeded our vows.”
I believed she’d just made that rule up. Besides, hadn’t she said her kingdom extended only to her mound?
“I would happily marry you, my lovely faerie, but I would still depart eventually.”
“Be married to me for a year,” she said. “We’ll do nothing but make love and then you can go.”
And I agreed, fool that I am. Of course, Tiona had no intention of letting me go at the end of a year. She was sure I would be a captive of her beauty and sexuality. When I dressed myself and threw my satchel over my shoulder to leave, she rushed to me, falling on her knees before me.
“Please do not leave me, Bob. How will I live without you?”
“My dear Tiona, you shall live as you have always lived, trapping mortal men, and taking them to your magic kingdom. It is not a good thing for two of our kind to be so near to each other for too long. I learned centuries ago that long life together leads to boredom and contempt. I cannot take you into my kingdom and make you mine, any more than you can take me into yours. We are different immortals.”
“Very well. From this day forth, I shall sit on my rock and sing of my lost love and mourn you forever.”
Her meaning, of course, was that she would kill me and sit on my corpse mourning. I did not let that happen. I wove a shielding spell around her so she could not leave her rath. The sad thing about the spell was that I could not enter it. The spell would not last forever, but I said my goodbye through the veil that separated us and set off to find my boat once more.
In my marriages, I count that one as a divorce. Not a friendly one.
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