Bob’s Memoir: 4,000 Years as a Free Demon
11
A Code to Live By
THE RIVER VALLEY was a rich land with plentiful crops and many sheep and goats. As was typical of a land of plenty, the people were stingy. It seems no matter where you travel, the poor are always willing to help the poor. The rich are unwilling to help anyone unless they think that person might be a benefit to them. Present company excluded, of course. I’m sure you are a generous person who often helps others and only elects representatives who are guided by the same principles.
I solved my problem by pulling my horse and chariot out of the bag, and traveled by road instead of looking like a river rat. Of course, it wasn’t the same horse I had in Bathra. That good steed had died years before I left the city-state. This was one of his progeny, raised and kept in the infinity room his whole life. Nimia and Josie dressed me in fine clothes, left over from the royal court. They were a little out of fashion, but being considered eccentric is not really a problem most of the time.
The tricky part was figuring out how to look like my entourage was larger than it was. It was me and my harem of fourteen women who were all happier running around naked than clothed. The climate in the infinity room was ideal for nudity. I created a small home with an axle and wheels that I could pull behind the chariot. I called it a mobile home. The girls thought it was a kick and sometimes came out of the bag in daytime, just to ride in the mobile home. Of course, they fixed it up and often went shopping when I came to a town of suitable size. When we camped for a night, it was no problem to pull out all manner of tents and banners to look like I was well-guarded. I’d acquired a couple of wolf pups on the journey and took the time in the infinity room to carefully train them to alert me to danger and to protect the girls. Having them sit outside my tent at night was enough to discourage any unwanted visitors.
I enjoyed packing everything into my satchel—horse, chariot, mobile home, and all, and walking through a town to trade for things of interest. Usually, one of my harem girls would accompany me, but they were all well aware that as long as they were in the infinity room, they did not age. When they were in the normal world, time affected them. So, mostly, they stayed inside and I joined them in the evenings. People could not readily tell that I had the wealth of a small city in the satchel I carried over my shoulder.
As I was in a town on market day and browsed through its bazaar, I came upon a scribe who had a number of small scrolls he had made himself and sold for only a copper drakma each. I paid for a copy and returned to my tent to read the scroll with Nimia curled up in my lap reading with me. The scribe said it was a faithful copy of the laws of the land described as the Code of Hammurabi.
It was a list of laws as long as my arm with a penalty ascribed to each. I really needed to go find this self-styled king and have a chat with him. There were entirely too many things that required the death penalty—most of which were because it was inconvenient for the king to keep them alive.
I pushed the horse a little faster than horses usually go while pulling a chariot and rolling wagon behind. I used the same enchantment on the load that I had used on the sleds back in my palace building days in Minoa. The weight was light and easy for the horse to pull. Within a few days, we were in sight of the new city of Babylon, capital of Hammurabi’s kingdom. He’d conquered nearly everything south, but stopped before he reached Bathra—at least for the moment. To the north, he was bordered by Assyrians on one side and Persians on the other, and was constantly fighting off one or both.
Word of my arrival as a wealthy merchant from the south spread quickly. I was conducted into the presence of the great man.
“You seem to have little of value to trade,” Hamm said when we met.
“Ah. I have converted my wealth to smaller precious jewels and metals,” I said. “I hope to trade those here and assemble a caravan of rare goods to take to the sea in the west and to the islands beyond.” I showed a selection of my jewels and, of course, Hammurabi collected a tax on them. Nonetheless, I’d shown enough to establish that I was capable of assembling a caravan.
That had been another of Nimia’s ideas. She suggested that an actual trading caravan would legitimize my claim to be a merchant and would also make it easier to establish a number of people in the camp. She suggested that it would also be a way to select certain people to join the population in the infinity room. I was, of course, willing to add to the harem, but Nimia suggested that some of the girls might want to have access to a man of their own and I should consider providing men, or find that the girls decided to stay in one of the towns through which we passed.
That hurt a little. I wanted to consider myself to be enough to satisfy any number of women, but I couldn’t really expect all the women I collected to deny their basic drive to motherhood. I didn’t own them as slaves, nor had I married or possessed them. And I did want them happy. So, I agreed to the arrangement.
Back to Hammurabi.
“Now these laws,” I said. “They all seem to be punitive. You focus on punishing the offender and not on restoring the victim.”
“I rule with a rod of iron,” Hamm stated. “I am obeyed or people die.” Quite the big head.
“There is a small kingdom to the south that has created laws that show mercy to the poor and weak. They focus on the restitution of goods and righting the wrong, rather than punishment to show the power of the ruler. This kingdom has been blessed by the gods with great bounty. It shows leniency and fairness in the law,” I said.
“Such a system could not be sustained. The ruler would become weak and the laws would be broken. I will go to that country and conquer it, bringing true law to the kingdom. The people will thank me because I am a great king. Tell me where it is,” Hamm demanded.
I doubted that and hoped my… Hmm. I wasn’t sure how long I had been gone wandering from Bathra. Would my son still be on the throne? My grandson? Another generation? I hoped he had maintained the laws and the strong army it would take to defeat Hammurabi’s warlike people. I diverted his attention.
“It is in the direction of Egypt. Many days journey from here. You might find strange things there. The tombs of their kings are like mountains,” I suggested. I’d never actually been to Egypt, but the story of the magnificent tombs entranced me and I thought that when I found my way to the sea, I might sail south and find the strange land of the Egyptians.
In the meantime, Hammurabi took me on a tour of his city and proudly pointed out the buildings. I congratulated him on the fine stone structures, occasionally making a suggestion that would improve the structural integrity or aesthetics.
“You know, this would be a fine place for a garden,” I said. “Think of how people would come to see it and each visitor would bring their coins to spend in your bazaar.”
“I will make it so. Bob, when you return here from your next journey, you will find a great garden here.”
I promised I would one day return. Then I set about assembling a caravan of trading goods to take westward. We left Hammurabi’s lands, finding our way to the Phoenician city of Tyre.
I camped well away from the city and had a conference with my girls. Oh, there were more of them now. It seemed nearly every town and village had a rebellious daughter who was more interested in an adventure than in becoming a wife. We had also assimilated a few of the men who traveled with the caravan, though I examined each thoroughly and let them know that the penalty for hurting one of the women was the most severe in the infinity room. Those I felt were unreliable in that regard, I paid well and sent away.
I know I sound like an old man talking about the good old days, but there was once a time when people knew their place in the great cycle of life. I don’t mean only women. Men of every rank knew what was expected of them and where they fit in society.
Josie was a good example. She yearned for the life of a wife to a strong man who would care for her and protect her forever. Finding me—or vice versa—was her dream come true. Women were born and raised to be good wives. In fact, they competed to draw the greatest bride price. You could buy a pretty face for as little as a couple of sheep. But chances were, she was not well-trained or had a low opinion of her own skills. Many of those thought if they were good at one thing—like sex—all others would be forgiven. If you were able to offer a little gold, a flock of goats, and a good horse, you could get a wife who would manage your household efficiently, make sure food was prepared and served when you were hungry, be a happy and willing partner in bed—and if she couldn’t for some reason, would supply a woman who was—and see her man and her household prosper. Like Nimia.
This did not come without responsibilities on the part of the man. If he paid that kind of money for a woman, you can bet he was going to take care of her. He treated her well, provided fine clothes and servants, hunted or farmed or shepherded or traded so there was always food for her, and protected her from every danger. And they were both happy. She was proud to have commanded such a price and set about proving she was worth it. He was happy to have purchased a luxury model and spent his weekends polishing her and spoiling her.
Sorry. I mixed centuries a little there.
But we had encountered girls of an independent spirit as we traveled. Well, Josie wasn’t really that independent. Her father had devalued her. I mean, twelve girls—I could understand a little of how frustrated he was trying to find husbands for all of them. And without a mother, Josie had grown up a little rough around the edges, preferring to watch the goats rather than to watch a pot of water boil. Other girls, however, had wanted to choose for themselves what kind of mate they would have, and to negotiate their role in the marriage according to their own ideal.
It was this latter kind of girl we attracted as we traveled.
I was not willing to simply take on all comers with no questions asked, but Nimia and I found most of them to be capable negotiators and sticklers regarding the terms of their contract. In several instances, that included me providing a husband for them with no questions asked about how they had pleased me. When they discovered they would not be the only woman in my life, they rejoiced. Whether they had a taste for pussy themselves or simply wanted helpmates in the household, nearly all felt the company of women in the household was a great advantage to them.
And they all recognized Nimia as the head of my household and that Josie was my own special possession and not to be hurt in any way.
So, when we camped on the shores near Tyre, I held counsel with a couple dozen young women in my harem and a few men. I’d found many years ago that a counsel held with sexually sated women was far more productive than one in which they were frustrated, horny, or angry. The men in the household willingly helped me get them to a pliable state. The men, too, knew that Nimia and Josie were completely off limits and that any young woman of the harem might tell them, ‘No,’ with unbroachable finality.
When all were ready to meet, I suggested that I was ready to go sailing again and would find myself a boat. I suggested they would be best served by staying in the infinity room while we were at sea and that I would visit regularly and always protect them. One or two were ready to leave our company and I granted them this, along with a bride price. They trusted me to find a husband for them, but not to take them to sea.
I took the caravan into town, the young men of the infinity room as guards, and set about trading. I collected a fair amount of gold, silver, and jewels, but probably as many goods as I traded away. This time, however, the trade goods were transported directly into the infinity room set up in the tent I occupied in the market.
Tyre was a city of traders. Yes, I was one and had been trading for many years, but the people of towns and villages and even larger cities inland traded for the things they needed to live. ‘I’ll give you a basket of barley for one of those sheep.’ That kind of thing. The people of Tyre traded for profit. Their objective was not to give a fair price for something they needed, but to get an object for as little as possible and trade it for as much as possible—whether they needed it or not. In Bathra, everyone lived and was provided for according to their service to the gods. In Tyre, there were a few very wealthy men who styled themselves as lords, there were many merchants who lived off the profits of their trade, and a vast ocean of peasants, each trying to trade his way up the social ladder, or to simply survive.
At last, I had found suitable husbands for the women who wanted them and made sure they would be well-cared-for their entire lives. Then the men and I packed up what remained of the caravan, selling off the tents and most of the camels. We went out of town to a place I knew that was well-protected. I was not unfamiliar with the area, though the population had grown immensely over the years. But I had once met a beachcomber in this area who told me the way to Nansi, the dream interpreter.
I packed everything and everyone I owned into the infinity room and tossed the satchel over my shoulder. I adopted the strapping body I’d come to know as a sailor and went back to town to see if I could find a ship.
Ships had changed since I’d last sailed the inner sea. They were larger and sleeker. Some had as many as two or three masts and sails with a great rudder for steering rather than oars operated by a dozen men. They had cabins for the captain and crew and space below deck for cargo.
When I finally found a ship I considered suitable, I had to find its master. The master had to find his owner. The owner had to come to the docks to haggle the price of the ship. Of course, he didn’t want to sell. That was predictable. In the game of trading up, he only wanted a bigger and better ship in exchange for his little piece of shit. It wasn’t a very big ship. I wanted one I could handle by myself without constantly using magic to keep the thing afloat. I reached in my satchel and withdrew a sizable bag of gold nuggets and a few priceless gemstones. He actually salivated, but he had to keep playing the game.
“I don’t know. Is that all you have? It’s already been loaded with trade goods.”
“No. It’s all I’ll give you. As you well know, it’s enough to buy two of these barks fully loaded or one really nice freighter.”
“If that handful of trinkets is worth so much, why don’t you buy a freighter?” the owner demanded. At the sight of the gold, the crew of the ship had begun to edge closer to us and I could foresee a fight about to begin.
“I want this ship,” I said firmly. I glared at the sailors and they stepped back.
“Take the money and run, Mordecai!” a woman’s voice snapped from behind him.
“Madam!” the suddenly frightened owner said, bowing. “Certainly. I did not know you were funding this sailor, madam. I would never cheat you, madam. Please spare me your wrath.” He snatched the purse out of my hand and literally took off running. “It’s all yours!” He yelled over his shoulder. The master and crew all stepped off the boat, gave the lady and me wide berth, and ran off after the owner.
“Oh, damn! I suppose now, I’ll have to wait for you to get a new crew.”
“Not at all, madam,” I said, copying the owner’s form of address. “I intended to fire them anyway.”
“And what? You can’t plan to sail this alone!”
“Why look!” I said. “There’s even a cabin on deck. If you would care to board, madam, we’ll be off.”
She looked at me and grinned. Then she gathered her robes about her and boarded the ship. I cast off the lines and shoved the little ship out into the water. Once there, I floated on the outgoing tide until I had raised the sail and then I blew a gentle wind to fill it. Before the sun had moved to cast a different shadow, we were sailing away from the seaport.
Ah, the salt wind in my hair! The smell of the sea! The sound of the waves lapping against the sides. The musical voice of my unexpected passenger.
“Oh, Captain,” she said. I turned and found the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life. Not just up until that time, but ever in four millennia—and I have seen some extremely beautiful women. To say she was breathtaking would be an understatement. I know that everyone has his or her own definition of beauty, but I honestly believe that anyone looking at her would immediately identify her as the most beautiful woman in the world.
She was dressed—I think that’s what you would say—in a wrap of translucent silk that partially concealed one ripe breast. The other was fully exposed. I wanted immediately to fall to it and suckle. Golden hair cascaded around her shoulders and down her back. Much to my surprise, I could see that her womanly charms were bare. I mean, the wrap was over her hips and legs, but it was so transparent that I could see clearly through it. What I meant was that her pubis itself was bare. I saw not a hair on her body that was not attached to her head. I wondered for an instant if this ripe a luscious body belonged to a child!
“What do you plan to feed me on our voyage?” she demanded, but in such a lyrical voice that I wanted nothing more than to give her whatever she desired.
“Why, what would you like, fair lady?” I asked. Madam was too coarse a word to use in describing her, I decided.
She put a finger to her lip as if considering.
“I should like honey cakes with fresh goat’s milk,” she said, as if it would throw me.
“Honey cakes with fresh goat’s milk?” I said so my women in the infinity room could get to work. “Allow me to prepare a table for you, my lady.” I reached into the infinity room and grabbed a table. She gasped when I set it before her and reached back for a chair so she could be seated.
“What minor deity have I ensnared in my plan to escape?” she asked as I held the chair for her.
“No deity, my lady. I’m a simple, happy-go-lucky demon. Please allow my women to serve your dinner.” I opened a door to the infinity room and Nimia and Josie rushed out, spreading a linen cloth on the table and setting out plates of honey cakes and fruits and a goblet of goat’s milk. The girls retreated back to the infinity room with my stern warning that no one else was to emerge when I called for service. I could well imagine what might happen if the men cast an eye on this beauty.
“Now, there are a few things you must know if you are to serve me,” she said as she snacked on the spread.
“Ah, my lady,” I said. “I am delighted to have you as my guest upon my ship, but you must understand, I serve no one but myself. I will always attempt to provide whatever hospitality is within my ability to give. I am, however, a free demon.”
“You don’t even flinch away from me! Do you know who I am?” she demanded.
“No. It is apparent you are a goddess, but I don’t believe we have met before. Let me begin. I am Bob and I welcome you to my ship.”
“Bob? I’ve never heard that name. Since you don’t know me, you may continue to address me as My Lady. It is much better than being called ‘madam’ by those sods in Tyre. It made me feel like a brothel keeper. Are you not even in awe of my beauty?” she asked. There was obviously only one correct answer to the question, but I attempted to side-step it.
“You are, indeed, the most beautiful woman on earth. For all I know, perhaps in the heavens as well,” I said.
“You are very clever,” she said. “Who taught you?”
“My first tutor was Great Zeus, who shared my abode and my women for some time. It was he who taught me to be polite. Later, I had the honor of acting as emissary for the great war god Ninra of Sumer. He taught me honesty and strength. His wife, Namri, the protector of the poor, taught me compassion and love,” I said. I was quite proud of this lineage, and wanted all three of those gods to be proud of me.
“Oh, Bob. I think we can have such a good time. Do you not want to run your hands over my alabaster skin? Do you not want to part my legs and drink the honey from my pussy? Do you not want…”
“I beg your forgiveness, my lady, but even a poor demon such as I can easily reckon when a woman is out of my price range.” She shut up. I thought she might have been insulted, or perhaps she’d simply never been turned down before. I was afraid of what price she would charge for my attentions. Beautiful though she certainly was, I was not willing to exchange my freedom for her pleasure.
I contented myself with watching the sails and steering the ship according to the stars in the night sky. When I turned back, she had returned to her cabin. I summoned Nimia and Josie to clear the table. Then we played on the deck beneath the stars for a while before I sent them back to the infinity room. I didn’t think it was a good idea for me to go into the infinity room while the goddess was aboard my ship. I didn’t know what havoc she might create.
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