Alienable Rights
political satire
1
Abduction
IT WAS A DAY like any other in Longview, Kansas. Located in the geographic center of Kansas, you could see both trees in the state. It was also close enough to the geographic center of the United States that it challenged any other town to try to claim the title. That was its only official tourist attraction and might have been the least visited attraction in the country.
If you climbed to the top of the water tower in Longview—as had many high school students, attested by their class numbers on the landmark—with a good pair of binoculars, you could see the Rocky Mountains in the West and the Mississippi River in the East. There was really no reason to look either north toward Nebraska or south toward Oklahoma.
There were many notable sites, much interesting history, and a few eccentric people in this lazy Midwestern town of 3,758 souls. Most of that will be revealed as the story progresses. In its Wild West days as a Cowtown, it was known as the best armed city in America. It was pretty much all farmland in the twenty-first century, mostly wheat, corn, and sorghum. But there wasn’t a farmer on the prairie who couldn’t shoot straight.
Longview happened to also be a town devoted to the celebration of Halloween. That was its unofficial tourist attraction. It was not a children’s holiday, but a day when the normally reserved citizens all dressed in outrageous costumes and attracted celebrants from miles around. On that day, the population of Longview doubled.
The legend has it that back in October of 1869 a prairie fire raged so hot and swift that the town was covered in smoke. People feared for their survival and all wore bandanas over their faces so they could breathe. As it happened, two rival gangs of Texans—it’s always the Texans—decided to rob the newly opened Butterfield Bank, which was said to have more than $300 in its new Cary safe. They rode into town with their faces covered with bandanas only to find everyone in the bank similarly attired. There were a couple of fistfights that broke out, and when the Texans realized they couldn’t tell who was the robber and who was the victim, they retired to the plentiful houses of prostitution where it is said they left more money than they would have gained had they cracked the safe.
And all the time, they were in the company of women without a stitch of clothing on except the masks across their faces. Some of the ‘respectable’ women of town were thought to have earned a few extra dollars that night and a few of the town fathers enjoyed their neighbors’ wives for a small price.
The masks and the lewd behavior had stuck as a part of the last night of October for over 150 years.
None of that would qualify Longview to become the next capital city of the United States of America. It took a far-thinking genius to come up with that idea, and a strange logic to make it so.
It all began on Tuesday, October 28 at the airport in New York, where Darrell Gwinner was impatiently waiting for his flight home to Longview. Of course, there were no flights to Longview. Its airport was a grass strip through what used to be Ronnie Plunkett’s bean field. He and Patience still lived out there and Ronnie spent his time intently listening to the radio chatter, hoping something would land there.
No, Darrell would have to fly to Kansas City and catch a bus from there to Salina before he could call Stacy to drive out forty-five minutes to pick him up. Of course, it would take her an hour and a half, because everything took longer when you had a three-month-old. Stacy was a fine woman and there were those in Longview who believed he’d married above his station. Including him.
His nineteen-year-old wife was a real looker and proved to be real fertile when she caught the baby batter just a few weeks after they were married. Darrell had breathed a sigh of relief at that. Not that she’d gotten pregnant so easily, but that with the amount of messing around they’d done for a year before they got married, she hadn’t gotten pregnant before. She’d at least managed to finish high school first.
Darrell was a pretty good catch for the girl, too. He’d gone to college in Lawrence and got a job with the Midwest Tillage Exchange. He brokered grain sales from the heartland all over the world. That’s why he was in New York City, a trip that had taken him all day Sunday to be there for a four-hour meeting with the honchos Monday, before being able to fly back to the Midwest. Of course, there was no flight that late on Monday, so he was at the airport way too early Tuesday morning to be free of the hangover from dinner with his boss the night before.
Darrell was a big promoter of his little town of Longview, so when he got the job and they suggested he would want to live in Chicago, he sold the Midwest Tillage Exchange executives on the idea that Longview was smackdab in the middle of the richest farmland in the country and he should be close to where the crops were. To his surprise, they agreed and he went back to his hometown to set up a branch office of the Exchange.
He needed some help in the little office on Wyatt Avenue downtown. He’d hired Stacy part-time while she was still in high school and they’d started screwing long before she graduated. She’d been justifiably upset when she had to quit the job in order to have and care for the baby and Darrell hired another slut from the same high school. Kristin was just a year younger than Stacy.
Darrell hadn’t fooled around with Kristin, though. Too much. And realizing how easily Stacy caught, he was always careful to use protection.
Just as he’d done in New York when his boss pointed out a hooker outside Darrell’s hotel and handed him $500 to ‘go have a good time.’ He could have taken the $500 home as a badly needed bonus, but he was pretty drunk by that time and that hooker looked pretty fine. Before she left, she’d managed to pull another $200 from his wallet, so Darrell had to hit a cash machine in the morning in order to get home. But what he remembered was a hell of a good time before she left.
So, there he was, at the airport waiting for a flight to Kansas City that was already delayed. They said weather conditions in the fly-over states were delaying flights, but Darrell knew that they were still looking for a pilot willing to fly to Kansas Fucking City. Nobody really went there willingly.
“Coffee? Like, just coffee?” the girl at the coffee counter asked. “Like a latte? Cappuccino? Macchiato?”
“Can I just get a cup of black coffee?” Darrell asked, rubbing his throbbing head.
“Arnold! Do we have black coffee?” she called to the other worker behind the counter.
“Oh, geez! Midwesterners, I bet. Make a single shot Americano. Charge a quarter less than the regular Americano.”
“But the regular has two…”
“You heard me!”
“Yes, sir. That’ll be $6.50. I’ll make it for you right away,” she said, smiling at Darrell. He handed her a ten-dollar bill and she thanked him. She didn’t offer him change.
A few minutes later, he took his first sip of the weak-ass coffee she served him. This wasn’t going to help his hangover much. Sarah Lee’s coffee, back in Longview, could cure a hangover in two sips.
He sat in the waiting area and waited. His flight was posted as being delayed an hour. He dropped his chin to his chest and dozed off, starting himself awake each time his coffee cup started to tip into his lap.
When his flight was finally ready for boarding, he joined the crush of people in his section as they jockeyed for position in the boarding line. He looked at his seat assignment and discovered he was right in the middle of the widebody jet. Almost. There were three seats to his right, occupied by a man, a woman, and a three-year-old who was already unhappy about sitting next to the icky man. The seat on his left, next to the aisle, remained unoccupied until the last second. Darrell had prepared to move to it when a woman stopped and set a computer bag down on the seat. She reached overhead to try to shove a pack in the bin, to no avail.
“Excuse me,” she said, dropping down to face Darrell, who had been looking at a very short skirt and lovely pair of legs. “Could I beg of you to put my computer bag under the seat in front of you so I can put my pack under this seat? I promise, it will only be for takeoff and landing. I will take it as soon as we can get our bags out. I just can’t believe they don’t allow enough room for decent carry-on bags.”
“Um… Oh… Uh…. Sure, I guess. Just for takeoff,” Darrell said, accepting the computer bag from her. He wedged it in under the seat in front of him. He didn’t have anything there because he’d put both his bags in the overhead bin. Served him right, he guessed.
“I’m Janelle Cummbridge,” the woman said as soon as she was seated and buckled in. “What a cattle car, right?” She looked to be about Darrell’s age. Maybe twenty-five.
“I guess. We don’t run much cattle anymore where I’m from. Darrell Gwinner,” he said offering his hand. She took it and didn’t let go, pretending to examine it closely as she stroked his palm with her thumb.
“Are you from Missouri?” she asked.
“Kansas,” he said.
“It’s a toss-up,” she said. “No booze in Kansas and no sex in Missouri.”
“What?”
“Sorry, I’m a… performer. You know. Exotic dancer is the polite word. I live in Missouri, so I can get a drink when I want. But I work in Kansas. You wouldn’t believe the rules they have for dancers in Missouri. It’s the ‘Show me—not much’ state. Do you know how much the adhesive on pasties irritates my sensitive bits? I work at a club on the south Johnson County Line in Kansas if you’re ever there.” She lowered her voice, suddenly concerned she could be overheard. The three-year-old was staring at them. “I’ll show you everything!” she whispered.
“That sounds… like a reason to spend an extra day in Kansas City,” Darrell said.
“Well, I won’t work tonight. Unless you call me for a private performance. I’ll be at the club tomorrow.”
Darrell did a quick calculation of how much money he had in his wallet and figured he could make another stop at an ATM.
“Give me your number and I’ll call. Recommend any convenient place to stay?”
“Crowne Plaza is always nice. I like going there.”
“I’ll give them a call as soon as we land,” he said.
While they’d been talking, the plane had taken off and was banking around to head west. In a few minutes the seatbelt sign was turned off and they got more comfortable, putting the armrest between their seats up out of the way. Janelle asked for her computer bag.
“Want to be in one of my OF vids?” she asked. “I mean we won’t show anything here, just us having a good time on the plane. Oh! Here comes the drink cart.”
They both asked for whiskey. Darrell decided to have a coffee, too. Janelle opened her tablet and propped it on the tray table.
“Here I am with my new friend DG,” she said when she’d hit the record button. “We’re getting to know each other really well.” She leaned against Darrell and he put his arm around her, smiling at the camera. He could see their image on the screen and laughed because the words on his logo were backwards. “Say something, DG.”
“I found something here that will make this flight worthwhile!” he said, giving her a squeeze. She raised her glass and they toasted each other.
Over the next hour, they chatted, sneaked little kisses, and had another drink. Darrell wasn’t completely a country bumpkin. He’d gone to college in Lawrence and knew pretty well what was available on the internet. He could tell an Only Fans performer when he met her. If she was willing to “show everything,” he had no difficulty playing with her on camera. After they’d finished their second round of drinks, Janelle leaned close to him.
“I have to go tinkle. You know, usually girls go together, but there aren’t any girls here. Want to come with me?” she asked.
“I would hate to think of you having to go all alone,” he said.
They slipped out of their seats and made their way down the aisle toward the restrooms. It was only eleven-thirty in the morning. The meal service had not yet begun and people were watching movies, playing games, and working on their computers or cell phones. Janelle stopped in front of a bank of toilets. One opened, but she ignored it.
“This one,” she said, when the next door opened.
“Why this one and not the first one that opened,” he asked.
“This one is marked as a changing room. It has a little more room in it than the others. We’ll just have to hope no babies are pooping their pants right now,” she giggled.
She pulled down her panties and sat on the toilet, pulling Darrell toward her. She unzipped his fly and fished out his cock. He didn’t think he was overly big, but Janelle sounded appreciative.
“I really do have to pee,” she explained as he heard the sound of water in the toilet. “But there’s room for some fun when I’m done.”
Darrell noticed that she brought the tablet with her into the tiny restroom and propped it on the sink before she sucked his cock into her mouth. It felt like she’d done this before. A lot. She was an expert at blowjobs, in Darrell’s humble opinion. She patted herself with a bit of toilet paper and stood to close the lid and press the flush button.
“It’s easiest if I bend over the changing table,” she said. “Here. Put this on.” She handed him a condom and he ripped it open to apply before slotting himself into her pussy and pushing.
Janelle pulled the tablet toward her and started talking to the camera.
“Can you believe we’re doing this on the plane at something like 35,000 feet above the ground? That’s like the six-mile-high club! If you don’t believe we’re really doing this, take a look!”
She pushed the tablet down between her legs so the camera could look at him plowing her welcoming furrow.
“Fuck, yes! I think I’m going to cum. Are you going to cum, DG?”
“Yeah. Fuck, Janelle. I’m going to cum in your pussy!” Darrell exclaimed.
He fulfilled his end of that deal and thought he could feel Janelle spasming around his cock as well. There was a little jolt as the whole plane shuddered, but the fasten seatbelt sign didn’t come on, so they didn’t worry about it.
“I don’t usually kiss guys I record with,” Janelle said as she turned around, pulling him out of her. She pressed her lips to his and her tongue into his mouth. “That was really good. Honestly, I don’t usually cum when I do this, but this time… Damn, DG! I’m looking forward to tonight.”
Darrell stripped off the rubber and put it in the waste bin, then took his turn to pee and clean out his pipes a little. He tucked himself back into his trousers. Then he pulled Janelle to him to kiss thoroughly again.
“We’ve been in here a while,” she said. “Someone probably has to use it by now.”
She opened the door a crack and thrust the tablet out, looking at the screen, then she opened the door wide. Darrell followed her out of the toilet and looked up and down the aisle. Everyone on the plane was asleep. It was extremely quiet. The lights had been dimmed as well.
“Did it become night while we were fucking?” Darrell whispered.
“I don’t think so. This is strange.”
“Oh! You’re awake. You should be asleep,” a flight attendant said, approaching them in the aisle.
Darrell was certain he saw something retract into the sleeve of her uniform and a hand replace it.
“You’re…” he began.
“Yes. You saw me. Ordinarily we’d keep that for later in the adventure, but you’re the first ones to see who your abductors are,” the flight attendant said. She didn’t look at all threatening. “So, you’re the only ones awake. Do you want to watch the show or go to sleep with the others?”
Darrell took a quick glance at Janelle and saw she was still recording.
“If it’s all the same with you, we’d like to watch,” Darrell said. “We’re really being abducted by aliens?”
“Oh, yeah. Um… Let me see.” She began unbuttoning her blouse and pulling it open. Beneath they saw green boobs. A tentacle reached out from under her arm. She stroked Darrell’s face and he found it to be very sensual.
“Oh, yeah!” Janelle said. “I have one of your dildos. I’ve always wondered what it would be like to have a live tentacle do me. Will you?”
“You’re just my type,” the flight attendant said, withdrawing her tentacle and buttoning her blouse again. “First, though, I have duties regarding docking the plane in our ship.”
“Do we need to sit down?” Darrell asked.
“Hah! No. Come up to the flight deck where you can see better. Once the ship took control, we were guaranteed a smooth ride. No one needs a seatbelt.”
She opened the door to the flight deck and ushered them inside. In the captain’s chair on the left, a large green man sat, relaxing with a copy of Men’s World grasped between his tentacles. He looked up at them.
“Hey, Haro,” the flight attendant said. “These guys were having sex and missed the knockout party. They’d like to watch. Okay?”
“Oh, sure. You guys aren’t too freaked out?” he asked.
“No, no. It’s cool,” Darrell said. Maybe two whiskeys and a cum had distorted his senses a little. “You do this often?”
“That’s an old pickup line,” said the flight attendant. “I think I heard it the first time back, oh, a hundred of your years ago.”
“You’re that old?” Janelle asked, looking at the apparently naked captain.
The copilot was also naked with tentacles instead of hands. Otherwise they looked almost human. Apparently, they were somewhat psychic.
“We keep a human shape on most of the time because it helps us with the language and with not frightening the babies,” the flight attendant said.
Janelle had moved automatically a little closer to the captain. He reached out and invited her onto his lap. She hiked up her skirt and pulled down her panties before she accepted his invitation to straddle his lap. He opened his trousers.
“You don’t have, like, a dick,” she said facing him.
“Oh, you’ll like this,” he said. “We keep those organs concealed until needed.”
Janelle felt something tickling at her nether lips until it found her opening. Then it seemed to crawl up inside her.
“Oh! Nice! A little skinny, but… Oh!”
The appendage that made its way into her body began to grow and expand until she thought she’d burst.
“Oh, DG! You were great, but this is something else!”
Darrell scarcely had a chance to notice. The flight attendant had also stripped. She had a green human face and torso, but tentacles for arms and legs. He reached out and squeezed her boobs. They seemed perfect.
“Human men are so much easier to handle if they’re faced with a pair of boobs,” the flight attendant said. “But you’ve never felt anything like this!”
She got him out of his trousers and underwear and stroked his cock with a tentacle that seemed to wrap around him and caress every nerve in his penis. Then she settled onto his erection with her midsection. That’s all Darrell could call it because he hadn’t actually seen what his cock was sinking into. All he knew was that whatever it was, it was better than any pussy, mouth, or ass he’d ever been in. It seemed made to draw the essence of his life right out his dick. When he erupted in her, he could hear Janelle loudly declaring her pleasure as well.
He glanced over and saw the copilot had planted his sex appendage in her ass and she had another tentacle in her mouth. Janelle seemed in a constant state of orgasm. By that time, Darrell was rising to another cum as well.
“Shit! I didn’t use a condom!” he said while the last spurts were still leaving his dick.
“Don’t worry. We haven’t found a way to breed with humans and we’ve tested for all communicable diseases. Nothing seems to transfer one way or the other. I’m Zeta, by the way.”
“Yeah. Um… Darrell,” he stammered. “Is our whole stay with you going to be like this, or are we going to get eaten by morning?” He thought his wits were returning slowly.
“Oh, no. We don’t eat people. We plan to take over your planet, not kill it. You people have done a royal job of fucking things up. We figured if we don’t move soon, there won’t be a planet left to save.”
“Save the planet. Fuck an alien,” Janelle gasped when the appendage was removed from her mouth and throat. She watched it, fascinated, as it shrank back into the pilot’s body.
“You two are all right,” Haro, the captain, said. He clenched a little and Janelle felt something inside that drove her over the cliff again. “We could use a couple of people to help us plan the invasion. What do you say?”
“You’re really going to save the planet?” Darrell asked.
“And make sure you get all the fucking you could want while we do it,” Zeta said.
“I’m in,” he said.
“Yeah. You sure are. Let me kiss you a little. It will help you cum again.”
The face, mouth, and tongue were human enough for Darrell. He kissed her and by the time they parted for air, he was pumping into her again.
